Wonkette
Garbage queen Sarah Palin outraged all of America with her extravagant purchases of royal garments during her short, embarrassing reign as a vice presidential candidate. OK to be fair Sarah Palin did not actually buy the clothes; that was the fault of the evil Republican National Committee, who wanted to make her look like a spendy fashion whore who delighted in wasting people’s campaign contributions on fancy designer suits she never wore while jabbering endlessly about old-fashioned American values. The point is, all these clothes are now sitting in trash bags at RNC headquarters in Washington, which is a National Shame.
So apparently Sarah Palin did return the clothes after all, albeit in TRASH BAGS and not on, oh say HANGERS like a civilized person would do. She probably didn’t even bother dry cleaning the ones she wore.
And the RNC is even more evil for not returning these clothes, like they said they would, or donating them to charity or whatever. The garments are being held in perpetuity until Joe the Plumber comes back from Israel and runs for vice president, in drag.
Palin’s “Donated” Clothes Stashed in Trash Bags at RNC [NewMajority.com]
Check for stains.
No Wire Hangers?
As long as the grifter snowbilly doesn’t get them, I don’t care what happens to them. Serves the dumbfuck RNC right! And, I’ll bet JTP would like to ahem…’inspect’ any of the undergarments.
Trash? In what sense, Charlie?
No Goddamn Wire Hangers!
Classy. I suppose they left skid marks in the underwear.
In what respect?
If we stop talking about her, she will go away. But Magic Titty’s right. Definitely check for stains.
Have you ever seen arctic hillbillies try to construct one of those shipping boxes?
you mean some of those clothes still have that “worn by palin” scent? i think i’m going to throw up my “drunken white trash head” cookie.
When the RNC said “donate,” they meant give to RNC member’s mistresses (or the cross dressers).
As much enjoyment as I get out of stories like this, there’s always an element of frustration in that despite all evidence that she’s an illiterate, snide, phony liar, there are STILL people out there who still love her and STILL think she’s the Great Republican Hope.
Did she return Todd’s silk thong underwear from Neiman Marcus?
I can’t believe I just typed those words…
Also.
Attempts for an explanation of when and where the clothes will be donated went unanswered, and the governor’s Alaska office does not comment on campaign issues.
That’s funny, because lately I’ve been under the impression that commenting on campaign issues is the sole function of the governor’s Alaska office.
Hey…Sarah simply calls what she put her clothes in, “Alaska Luggage”. Freakin’ elitests!
Cross-dressing Joe the Plumber! Hooray! Transgendered faux-tradespeople rejoice!
magic titty: Win (and a Wince).
So how much do you think one of them thar garments with “Authentic Sarah Palin Musk” on them would get on eBay?
Is the general public permitted to sniff the underwear?
BarthexDeRosa: that’s the first thing I thought of, too. Um… I hope they let him keep those.
Sarah Palin magically scared the stains away by threatening to shoot them from a helicopter.
Trash bags? What kind of drunken negro head returns $80,000 worth of clothes in trash bags?
But what about First Dude’s silk boxers?
magic titty: But if they do find a stain, what will they name it?
BarthexDeRosa: Todd’s silk thong underwear could be very valuable forensic evidence as it might conclusively prove who drilled Bristol’s North Slope, resulting in little Trig. Unfortunately, we need to recover the trash bags (the black plastic ones, not Levi’s mom) and send them to the lab. Tune in to “CSI: Wasilla” on CBS Sunday Night at 9.
I aspire to be a spendy fashion whore. Sadly, I lack funding.
They’ll be pored over by a team of scientists who will gather the discarded skin cells and assemble a clone army of Palin-drones (who will march forward, and take the country back).
I pledge to donate more used underpants to the unforchunet…
facehead: i’m pretty sure they named it trig.
…Sarah Palin doesn’t need any fancy duds from Neiman Marcus or Nordstroms! She has her own style; its called TRAILER PARK CHIC!
In fairness to the RNC, they want to donate the clothes to charity, but every time someone tries to approach the bags they hear that helicopter circling overhead, and, well …
Last I heard, these were all still sittin’ in th’ belly uh th’ plane.
Can I have them?
I thought her kids lost all the underwear. I just want the towel she wrapped herself in during her initial debate prep. Also.
Palinology:
Trash bag = good; Cum bag = bad
This is just nit picking! She’s a good republican stay at home mom…or, well, her daughter is…shit, you know what I mean. Anyway she returned them in trash bags so that they are ready to go straight out to the curb. Well done Sarah!
lenorecutie: He walks around the house wearing nothing but it and a new t-shirt that says “My wife ran for Vice-President of the United States and all I got was this $120 silk thong from Neiman Marcus”.
Trigs charred remains are among the bags.
shortsshortsshorts: That’s cremains.
Two years from now, we’ll be begging for the RNC to donate the trash bags themselves to charity, so that we have something to wear.
magic titty: The biggest stain was inside the clothes. Its name was “Sarah Palin.”
saggyboobedhag:
I did not know that.
Now I do.
Trigs cremains are after you.
Look out for underpants gnomes!!!
Are they white trash bags?
Hooray For Anything: That’s because she was used by the media: like, when she invited all the conservative columnists off of their Alaskan rainbow cruise to meet her and do “touristy” things, that was an evil plot orchestrated by Katherine Anne “Katie” Couric and Tina “Elitist” Fey, who wanted to hurt Palin’s feelings and get better ratings.
In short, it’s 30 Rock’s fault, and people like you make Trig, Trip, Tripe, Tireiron, and Calc cry.
CorkPopper: Talk is cheap. If you mean it, pony up for some tattooed lipliner, study up on your conjunctions, and also, talking points, and give the RNC a jingle.
I thought not.
there’s nothing like relating to Social conservatives from the heartland than spending the GDP of Qatar on designer clothes.
Speaking of trash bags, why haven’t we seen baby pics of Bristol/Levi spawn Tripp in the pages of People yet? Someone call Andrew Sullivan–I smell a conspiracy!
facehead: I hoping they name it Spot Rayon Palin.
Having been worn while performing numerous oil changes on the bus, spontaneous combustion is inevitable.
In my pants.
Sussemilch: +1 for not misspelling “pored”. I think.
Hooray For Anything: Palin 2012!
it blows my mind still to think people willingly voted for that ticket. the woman is hardly qualified to be Vice president of the Ketchikan campground & RV park.
assistant/atlas: Ahh…we’re still having trouble casting the role of “Tripp”…. The suits at RNC want to make him a ‘break-out’ character w/ full multimedia & merchandise tie-ins - like a Good, White, Christian counter to ‘Dora the Explorer’… so the choice of which endocrinologically-challenged midget actor gets to be the next American Infant Idol is a heavy one that must not be rushed…
magic titty: But if they do find a stain, what will they name it?
Good question; they already used Track.
didnt they name one kid after a snowmobile or something like that? i thought i heard that somewhere. or read it. ‘Piper-grand’ or ‘Juniper’ ‘peabody’
You know your a redneck when …
If these clothes are last year’s fashions, don’t they belong in garbage bags? What’s the problem?
Can you see Russia from those trash bags?
You mean Jeff Gannon still didn’t pick that stuff up?! I guess he’s still servicing the tourists.
wildeoats: “CSI: Wasilla” … didn’t they already make that? With Al Pacino taping trash bags over his windows?
CorkPopper: There’s going to be a bailout for spendy fashion whores. I’m countin’ on it!
Check the bags to see if some stray meth was left in the pocketses.
So these people who
are such good “stewards”
of others’ money, stuffed
$5000 suits in “garbage
bags” and left them lying
around ?
No effin wonder nobody
knows what happened to
the $350 billion.
JimBob: Look out for underpants gnomes!!!
1) RUN FOR VICE-PREZNIT
2) ???
3) PROFIT!!
Apparently the semen stains on her Dolce & Gabana chemise match Mike Huckabee’s DNA.
Monkster: “Trickle.”
So WHEN did she return the clothes FROM THE BELLY OF THE PLANE? Palin WAS wearing the beige Valentino jacket at the Chambliss stump…my lying eyes saw it!
ALSO TOO……Sarah Palin-Tonya Harding 2012!
I hear Levi calls the new baby “Trap.”
Hooray For Anything: She is my fondest hope, in fact …for the RNC. I very happily convey her to them with my best wishes.
shortsshortsshorts: It’s true. When one goes to arrange a funeral for a loved one, while one is quickly toggling between mental states like “hysterical” and “comatose”, and refers to “ashes”, the Funeral Directors get all huffy and insist on correcting one: “Um … … we refer to those as *cremains*, ma’am!”
Yeah. I’m here to arrange a funeral service for my kid, and, like, I’m really in the mood to get a heads-up about your industry jargon! Glad you corrected me on that, buddy. That just had to be a real key point of our negotiations.
Monkster: WIN!!