Wonkette
“[The bakery owner] says the [Drunken Negro] cookies are a caricature, and a work of art. He says no one got upset about the DEAD GEESE BREAD he baked after the recent plane crash. …The bakery owner says he’s not prejudiced. ‘My brother-in law, he’s Cuban. So, you know, I like everybody.’” This is probably the best video on the Internet, right now. [Gothamist via Gawker]
The best part of this package is:
Shame! Shame! Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
EXPLOSION!!1!
Roll Story.
Arnold Diaz is my hero.
If the cookies were chicken flavored it would have been racist.
This guy is NOT RACIST! Now that we have a Black President, racism is over. End of story.
Drunken Negroes = Dead Geese
Cuban brother-in-law - I like everyone
And baking involves some type of mathematics, yes?
Suck on my chocolate salty balls..
put ‘em in your mouth and suck ‘em!
It’s funny cause that guy’s drunken negro cookies suck. Mine are much better. You can see an example here. http://tinyurl.com/6yerta
Dumb Fuck, Baker. He’s going to see a swift drop in business following this story.
NoWireHangers: Oh my God. I was just about to write that!
Ahh, he used the most famous excuse for racists to prove they are not racists: “I’m not prejudiced; I know/am related to someone _________.”
Why doesn’t he just stick to making chocolate and vanilla peens and vajayjays?
Do they go well with malt liquor? I also like the cutaway of Jungle Fever in the story.
You godda problem wit dat?
Douche of the day.
Umm, is it wrong? but I think those cookies look pretty tasty.
Maybe that’s just cuz its almost lunchtime(PST).
Texan Bulldoggette:
Yeah, but… cuban? Is he serious? That’s like “I don’t hate Jews. In fact, I’ve got a cousin with six fingers to prove it.”
Mmmm… so hungry!
KennedyAG: It’s really great. I keep replaying the first few seconds to get another fix.
I hope they go over better than the anatomically correct S and M Gingerbread Sean Hannities I took to a PTA meeting this holiday season.
very inspirational pieces of art! the michelangelo of our generation. brava! brava i say!!
Today is low hanging fruit day at Wonkette.
My, we’re awfully defensive.
Hey, c’mon. This guy probably knows a lot of drunken negros who laughed thier boozy asses off when he told them about his cookies. I mean, didn’t you see the video? There were TONS of drunken negros hanging around outside his store! I think its the negros fault. If they weren’t so drunk everytimne they came to buy his dead geese bread or his expolded world trade center eclairs or his renowned towel head frosted cakes, he would have NEVER thought of the drunken negro cookies!
Out.
Just the first in his multicultural series of confectionary delights. Next up: Mangled White Guy, with raspberry jam oozing from gashes to his temple courtesy of irate Drunken Negros.
I saw Drunken Negro Head open for Wu-Tang back in 01… awesome!
Are the cookies supposed to represent Obama after he has been attacked by scanners?
And to think if it had gone the other way we might be looking at McCain Walnut brittle and Palin Cherry-Topped Sno-ballz….
Serolf Divad: I know–what a cute, [unintentionally] funny little racist man.
L Urchin:
A split dozen is simply ordered as a ‘Race Riot’.
i pledge to make angry gay hispanic jewish cookies that will save our health care system. i pledge, therefore my wooden furniture will be saved as well.
My Lawn Jockey Noose Holder didn’t go over well either.
this guy’s got a future over at fox & friends when he’s done with the whole offensive cookies thing, with his sense of humor he’d really fit in. please pretty please let this guy replace joe the plumber as the latest republican hero, i’m excited just thinking about what he could do with his 15 minutes.
He’s the inspiration by my Decapitated Ignorant New York Baker Cookies. They’re headless! Aren’t they fun?!
Shit. Anyone know of a non-racist bakery that sells 7 layer cake or rainbow cookies? Dc or NYC
Terrible name aside, people are supposed to eat those? They look horrifying. The eyes look like something out of a horror movie.
I’m a little offended by how offended everyone is. I suspect no one would care if he had Drunken White Trash cookies.
Only (I hope) in New York…
Pardon my French, but since this delicious chunk of man has all given us all a little head, can’t we return the favor?
Yum. He rivals fellow racist Salty Chipman in the sexy department.
I thought they were made from baked elephant dung.
indigo: Yes, some of us would be offended, because it’s offensive. Nice try at a lame-ass excuse, ‘tho…
facehead: Taste is cyclical.
It’s funny how he thought changing the n-word to the 60s era terminology (and therefore obviously not racist) “Negro” for the news cameras would defuse the whole situation.
C: He’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
O: No, no, ‘He’s uh, he’s resting.
C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
O: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn’it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
C: The plumage don’t enter into it. It’s stone dead.
O: Nononono, no, no! He’s resting!
indigo: My take is it’s offensive to Negroes because of the unflattering caricature of their facial features. How would you make an offensive white trash cookie face–what would you do to their eyes, nose & lips to make them really offensive??
FACT: The least racist thing you can possibly do is, when accused of racism, immediately mention a vaguely ethnic person you know.
The only funnier than racism is white people getting offended by racism.
Oh, those are cute.
indigo: indigo: ” I suspect no one would care if he had Drunken White Trash cookies.”
True. I baked a batch for the last community potluck and some White Trash wanted the recipe, except they didn’t have cookie sheets and the oven in their trailer has been broken ever since the concrete blocks holding up the left side tipped over.
PUMA food.
indigo: i eat drunken white trash cookies all the fucking time. They’re called Oreos.
I like the viewer poll at the end: freedom of expression, or racist bullshit? You decide!
They’re not mutually exclusive, people. Like, we have the freedom to not buy his ugly ass cookies, and he has the freedom to be a racist, offensive asshat and not get arrested for it. Freedom of expression doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t include offensive expression.
indigo: Hmmm . . . why does “negro”=”white trash” in this analogy? Would “uppity” blacks be equivalent to non-trashy white people?
Texan Bulldoggette: “How would you make an offensive white trash cookie face?”
One good start would be making them with most of the teeth missing.
My favorite part of “it’s not racist” was his defense at making “drunken negro cookies” when he says no, these are “Drunken Negro Heads.” Yeah, cuz if he’d made drunken negro full body cookies, now that would’ve been racist.
“How can I be racist if my president’s a negroid?”
What makes them “drunken”? Are they filled with liquor?
DustBowlBlues: I thought of that but teeth can be fixed relatively easily; plus if you keep your mouth shut, no one ever has to see them. Nose, eyes & lips are harder to ‘fix’ or to make more white which is what this dumb ass baker was making fun of.
True fact: eight years ago this same guy was selling ‘Stupid Fucking Moron Fake Cowboy’ biscotti. No one complained back then.
Why are people impossibly stupid?
Texan Bulldoggette: I think you could take any person-looking cookie, call them White Trash Wafers, and then they’d automatically be offensive. Unless you REALLY hate white trash…
indigo: “Drunken white trash cookies” would just be boring, tbh.
I’m offended that you assume everyone is offended; Here you are perpetuating the negative Wonketteer stereotype that we are all drunken negros — why do you hate AMeriKKKa?
BTW, if you look anything like your avatar I’d totally do you because I’m really into non-submissive Asian chicks.
Cape Clod: EVERYBODY HAS A BLACK BEST FRIEND NOW!!1!
indigo:
Because no wants to eat Meth and Cheeze Puff Flavored Cookies.
It’s Fox News. My first question would be, did this shit even happen?
ha ha worldstarhiphop hoodtube player (beta) click here to change player’s color
Texan Bulldoggette: Meth-face features and a steaked mullet?
Texan Bulldoggette: True. Hugely fat faces might work, either that or really gaunt faces with huge, crazy eyes.
Based on my observation of my local community, that seems to be the two face/body types. You could portray them on a cake more easily, making them really fat and riding a little scooter in front of a sign that says Walmart. Give them a toothless grin, and you’re there.
I would just like to point out that this did not happen in the South. Thank you.
Min: “did not happen in the South”
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. You found the silver lining I was looking for. It almost makes up for the fact I delayed my depression-lifting walk in the country (cuz I’ve got the Bell’s Palsy for 6 weeks now and have been googling Dr. Kervorkian) to watch Blago’s press conference, and the lazy bastard didn’t even recite a poem.
FamilyLost: That gives me an idea for Drunken Hill Staffer Cookies made with liquor from Hawk & Dove.
DustBowlBlues: I give up being serious. If you want to make a white trash cookie face, make it look like Bible Spice.
Texan Bulldoggette: Frankincense?
digibal235: He will make a selling cookie trays to PUMA parties.
Also, he should sell some “Cut Nut” vanilla cookies with white frosting and raspberry jam backward B’s.
cal: will make a killing….
http://www.facebook.com/pages/New-York-NY/LAFAYETTE-FRENCH-PASTRY-BAKERS-INC/28482116792?ref=s
Yumm. These cookies will be the perfect companion to my Hitler wine.
http://zioneocon.blogspot.com/2003_12_07_zioneocon_archive.html
Note: My sister-in-law is Hungarian, I like everyone.
WadISay: Thankfully for those of us without cable, Fox News Channel =/= local fox affiliates. They’re similar in name alone. This is handy for those of us who enjoy getting our daily dose of strange Jesus propaganda from local access televangelists rather than
black magic spellnewscasters.I hate racism and all, but I gotta admit: Those noses look tasty.
Colander: ” Unless you REALLY hate white trash…”
I’d be embarrassed to admit I hate them, but really–Toothless people riding scooters through the Walmart because they’re too fat to walk, then they line up behind you at the check out and their carts are overflowing with frozen burritos, a pile of generic frozen pizzas on sale for a buck a piece, some Mt. Dew (and a six-pack of diet Dr. Pepper, for irony) and giant sacks of pork rinds and cheetos. She’s got long, greasy hair pulled into a semblance of a pony-tail and is wearing a tank-top or one of those ensembles that are made from the same pattern as hospital scrubs. Her fat boobs hang down to her waist. And she’s sweating.
Then you grab the “Us Weekly” off the stand because Mr and Mrs. Hopey are on the cover and the white trash woman says, “Is one of them movie stars pregnant agin’?”
And you say, “I don’t know. I want to read the article about the Obamas.”
And she says, “I wouldn’t even look at that”–she pauses a moment, perhaps rethinking the use of the N-word in public–that.”
“Why?” you say.
“He’s a A-rab who wants to take my money.”
She has no money. She will never have any money. She will never benefit from health insurance unless the A-rab and his administration get it for her. Otherwise, if she does get sick, she will use Medicaid.
As you load up bags of pet food, the only reason you’re in that vile place, you look back and the woman is sliding her food stamps card in the thingy.
This is a composite, but every bit of it true and every bit repeated all over Oklahoma–the reddest state in the union– all the time.
Hmmm . . . Really hate white trash? Let me think about that for a moment or two while I take a refreshing walk in the country.
Are they supposed to look like negroes that got all screwed up or are they supposed to look like a drunken negro made them? Because it appears it could go either way, and I wouldn’t be bragging about them.
Texan Bulldoggette: Finally, I broke through your liberal, articulate defense of fairness and logic. At least I can say I did something with my day.
Really my favorite line is the “my brother-in-law is Cuban” defense.
You know you’re not racist if you have a Cuban brother-in-law.
I guess Thomas Jefferson could say “why no sir, I do not hate Blacks, in fact many of my slaves are Black.”
Waited to the whole damn video and no one even took a bite! How’s a person to know whether magic negro cookies pass the taste test?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
The other thing I like is when the reporter asks him what they’re called, and he has to read the label behind the counter to know.
“they’re called, uh, lemme check… we call them uh drunken, um drunken negro heads. Yeah.”
“Yea so what about it? Ya so they just are, I calls it how i seez it, just sayin’, just sayin’. So what ya gonna do about it just sayin?”
indigo: I guess you have some ethnic acquaintance too. Ready to do this ignorant racist and his likely role model, Joe the unlicensed plumber? They are probably the type that won’t offend you. Trash, I mean.
DustBowlBlues: i love you.
Those aren’t drunken negro cookies, those are Easter Island Cookies. Not racist at all. Move along now…
mmm. i really want chocolate now. with red vaguely fruitesqe things in it.
Fuck this baker bitch! Famous Amos wannabe asshole!
The most hilarious part of this whole horrible story is that he is a baker in Greenwich Village. Like, did he assume that making racist cookies would just kind of fly under everybody’s radar in THE MOST LIBERAL PLACE, EVER?
DustBowlBlues: I iz sorry for yr sad! Still BP = 1/2 botox.
OuterBoroughPrincess: The point was that he’s calling them drunken negro cookies, and everyone thinks he’s generalizing to the whole race, hence, they are offended. “Negro” is offensive, sure, but so is “white trash,” by which I don’t mean the whole race. I have perfectly nice friends from England, so, you know, I like everyone.
Texan Bulldoggette: Uhhhh… really bright pink lipstick that misses the mouth? And everything everyone else said, because we are all really clever here.
facehead: No, sorry, I’m a Mexican. Which is why I hate America, duh.
All together now…”Racist baker say ‘Duhhhhh!’”….
This one is sort of worse, as “making household objects out of obama” go:
http://www.quizlaw.com/blog/o_oh_oh_obama.php
But at least they come in two colours.
DustBowlBlues: yep, those people are here in Arizona too. perfect description.
The part I liked was when he said “I like everybody as long as they buy my stuff”…….ummm so how many people buy those cookies?
indigo: “and everyone thinks he’s generalizing to the whole race”. Ummm, I think he IS generalizing to the whole race, or did he just mean ‘drunken Negro who doesn’t really exist so other drunken & non drunken Negros should not be offended’?
Also, the term Negro is offensive to some–I think the PC term has been ‘African-American’ since around Mandingo was written.
Please, ‘really bright pink lipstick that misses the mouth’–color me mortally offended.
Also.
First, I’d like a poll of Baker Bob’s Cuban brother-in-law…he will surely have the goods on whether or not Baker Stu is racist.
And to 2nd Texan Bulldoggette, “negro” has never, in my lifetime, been considered acceptable for polite conversation. Yeah, it’s all been fun with the joshing on the Wonkette where use of the term mocks the small minded people who think that way, but it’s nice to have this reminder from Baker Jimmy Joe of why we stopped using it.
And finally, I agree: Baker Vinny has the right to be an idiotic racist a**hole, and we all have the right to not buy his cookies.
This baker should have just renamed them “Harlequin Fetus Cookies” and everyone would have been happy.
Do they have marshmallow centers?
DustBowlBlues: I just feel like I’m mean sometimes. That was me trying to be nice.
indigo:
One might make the argument that the term “white trash” is inherently racist in that it assumes that the word “trash” needs a qualifier to keep it from referring to brown people. One might also be thinking of sex, though, or a martini, or the eighth of primo pussycat hybrid one has waiting in their study at home, and just give this whole “white trash” issue a pass- which is what one probably should have done in the first place.
Also.
Those fucking things look like the masks that the chain gang in Evilene’s sweatshop peeled off at the end of “The Wiz.” WOULD NOT TOUCH.
The good thing is that the joint can kiss all the celebrity love and glossy mag shout-outs good-bye effective immediately. No publicist will let their client walk through those doors at this point, and there are 20,000 other bakeries in the boroughs that (1) make good seven-layer cakes and (2) didn’t end up on the teevee because they’re owned by A Racist Nutcase Who Was Assured By Imaginary Black People That His Horribly Offensive Creations Weren’t Horribly Offensive.
OK, who needs a job - this Douchebag [Ted Kefalinos, (212) 242-7580] is hiring!!
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tlg/1004733219.html
Here’s your chance to meet a real live Secret Service Agent, when they visit Douchebag Ted for more stories about how Obama is “following in the same path of Abraham Lincoln; he will get his.”
On a completely unrelated note, it would cause me to haz a big sad if his products were to become contaminated with fecal matter, from some new employee who ‘forgot’ to wash his hands….
Who exactly is the market for this cookie in Greenwich Village? They look like shit, literally, so it can’t be binge eaters — not even those with no conscience. Whatever they do look like, the one thing they surely don’t look like is the President, so it can’t be Obama souvenir whores. (Though there was a great picture on HuffPo where Barry had flash photo red eye, so maybe that was the inspiration.) And unless Greenwich Village has changed since I lived there in the 20s, I don’t think there is a big audience for racist snacks. Does he even know what his business is?
Gayer Than Thou: Would that be the 1820’s or the 1920’s?
I live 2 blocks away… and Community Board 2 has placed an official boycott on his business. Racism in NYC’s village is not tolerated. It’s absolutely disgusting what he’s done… and his attitude about assassination is ridiculous: “He’s following in the same path of Abraham Lincoln; he will get his.”
PhoebeStar: Excellent. This guy is so racist that he’ll probably never learn, but he’ll at least stop with the cookies when the daily take starts to drop. I’m sure most of us have happily forgotten fifth-rate designer and professional clowndick “Apollo Braun,” but after all of that negative publicity he got from hawking those jackass “Who Killed Obama?” tee-shirts during the primaries, his shop on Orchard Street? Shuttered as of last week.
just goes to show you what, ahem, white flour and sugar will do to the brain.
He’s got a free speech right to do this, but his soon to be ex-customers have a right to vote with their wallets.
But his signature Bernie Madoff big Jewish nose Hamentaschen will be sorely missed this Purim.
“isnt that unflattering? ‘drunken negro?’”
“its drunken negro FACE. cookie.”
Shame shame shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!
I want to vent my frustration against blacks by making cookies to piss them off and then when they put me on TV I’ll act all cute, hoping I’ll get free publicity for my bakery, because any publicity is good publicity, right? Then when it backfires and I go out of business I will cry and complain about the damn media ruining my life. Poor me.
watch full fox-interview with drunken negro head cookies creator watch fox interwiev here
In my this guy is crazy..
watch full fox-interview with drunken negro head cookies creator
http://tubedirects.net/index.php?q=Baker-fox-interview
In my this guy is crazy!
What be all da fuss? Cookies makes da wold go round. Cans we all jus get along? ya eats da cookie, and chews it all up den swallow it on down. Mmmmmmm-mmmmm good!
some of my bess frens bees cookies….
[if the wold didn't suck - we'd all fall off - uncle reamus]
Dear Cookie Monster,
If nothing else, please remember that a lot of people of diverse ethnicity have died to protect your right to create your moronic confections and spew your hate-fueled vitriole. We at DRUNKIN’ DONUTS don’t find this the least bit amusing. Trademark infringement, methinks. See you in court. I’ll be the one sittin’ in the back [just like on the bus], wearin’ the dew rag and feastin’ upon the fried chicken and watermelon.
Hatred masked beneath a guise of humor is still hatred, just more cowardly.