• May 27, 2012

Robert Gibbs’ First Press Briefing Involves Every Reporter Shouting His Name, Simultaneously

by Jim Newell  5:12 pm January 22, 2009

Here’s a comical highlight reel of new White House press secretary Robert Gibbs’ first briefing, compiled by Fishbowl DC. The White House press corps, perhaps the most frustrated group of reporters, anywhere, only get a “virgin” every few years, so they were hoping to extract as much off-the-cuff, out-of-context quote action as possible before Gibbs realized how much they all sucked and that he should ignore them entirely, forever. This only led to an onslaught of white noise, however, and we do not know why anyone would ever accept the position of White House press secretary. Speaking of which, what’s Dana up to these days? [Fishbowl DC]

{ 36 comments }

NoWireHangers January 22, 2009 at 5:16 pm

It’s like he’s bidding on a showcase on The Price is Right. Just say $1000 and be done with it, Gibbs!

chascates January 22, 2009 at 5:18 pm

I guess we’re back to opening with Helen Thomas?

AxmxZ January 22, 2009 at 5:23 pm

It’s like listening to turkeys.

sati demise January 22, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Packed the room without using White House interns!

thats change anyway.

Gregory_of_Nazianzus January 22, 2009 at 5:26 pm

This reminds me of Gabby Johnson in Blazing Saddles.

RABBLE RABBLE!
http://www.ladyofthecake.com/mel/saddles/sounds/gibbersh.wav

El Pinche January 22, 2009 at 5:28 pm

It’s like the first day of class! It’s time to determine the alpha males (sexist!) in WH press corp for the O admin.

InsidiousTuna January 22, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert Robert

InsidiousTuna January 22, 2009 at 5:30 pm

[re=226176]Gregory_of_Nazianzus[/re]: Better than the Bush press room, as seen here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSSUcj9zlH8&eurl=http://chunklightpolitics.blogspot.com/&feature=player_embedded

Kaylub January 22, 2009 at 5:31 pm

Bein’ pretty.

InsidiousTuna January 22, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=226183]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Crap. Ignore my shitty blog in the title.

tunamelt January 22, 2009 at 5:32 pm

Speaking of which, what’s Dana up to these days?

She is playing Mall Madness and Pretty Pretty Princess with me.

Neilist January 22, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I miss the Bubbled-Headed Bleach Blonde already . . . .

Gregory_of_Nazianzus January 22, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=226183]InsidiousTuna[/re]: Which in turn still beats the Bush FEMA:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6dm9rN6oTs&feature=related

TGY January 22, 2009 at 5:34 pm

La-la-la, can’t HEAR you. Looks like somebody needs a ‘Hot cup of STFU’ sign-on-stick.

Min January 22, 2009 at 5:37 pm

That wasn’t a press conference. Robert was picking out puppies for the Obama girls.

WadISay January 22, 2009 at 5:39 pm

You call this a smokin’ little blonde ice-goddess? Oh, that was last week.

bitchincamaro January 22, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Fools. If they wanted guaranteed attention they would have called him by his fraternity name: BIG $ALE ON TRUCKNUTZ!

cal January 22, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=226181]InsidiousTuna[/re]: You stole my comment, damn you!

PS – “Robert”

johnbpt January 22, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Robble, robble!

It was a Hamburglar convention.

thefrontpage January 22, 2009 at 6:09 pm

What a huge, stinking load of crap this is.

Get off your asses and go out and report some real news!

Gibbs: Be a whole lot tougher with these guys, and make them work for a living.

druranium January 22, 2009 at 6:09 pm

I’d be willing to wager that the Obama press secretaries won’t burn out on the job as much as the Bush ones did because they wont have to lie incessantly and constantly invent new doublespeak

thefrontpage January 22, 2009 at 6:16 pm

By the way, in the earlier post: That was directed at the White House reporters, not anyone here! We meant to say: White House reporters: Stop lobbing softball, goofy, stupid questions to a new press secretary who’s been on the job, oh, three days into a new presidency, and go out and talk to new appointees and new offcials and report back to the public some real news! These White House press conferences are so lame and dumb, it makes the White House reporters and the press secretary look just pathetic! Ugh.

loquaciousmusic January 22, 2009 at 6:17 pm

He looks way too nice to be married to Dracula Cunt.

Oh, wait. He’s not? Whoops. I should totally do some research every so often.

loquaciousmusic January 22, 2009 at 6:18 pm

Also, I don’t mean to be a “Grammar Obama-nazi,” but you all can TOTES make the plural of “Gibbs” by adding an apostrophe-s. Because, you know, “Gibbs” is one syllable and all. So “Gibbs’s” is absolutely acceptable. Or “Gibbzzz.” Also.

magic titty January 22, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Fuck that job.

hockeymom January 22, 2009 at 6:46 pm

[re=226173]AxmxZ[/re]: Can we feed them headfirst into the shredder?

tacdab January 22, 2009 at 6:50 pm

My sincere hope is that Dana is currently at a detox spa, sloughing away the evil and rediscovering the hot.

Heywood Floyd January 22, 2009 at 7:23 pm

RobertRobertRobertRobertRabbleRabbleRobertRobertRobertRobertRobertRobertRobertRobertRobertRobert

Robert: Steve?

Scandalabra January 22, 2009 at 7:26 pm

As Bush ended up with the undeniably hot Dana P as his mouth(ass)piece, how appropriate that the coolest prez in history has a dorky chub as his mouth(ass)piece. I love him!

One Yield Regular January 22, 2009 at 7:33 pm

At least he’s not using “Bob” – because then the room would sound like a flight attendant during deplaning.

Snozberries January 22, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Yo, Bob! Where the fuck is my salvia, dude? It’s been weeks, man! Bobert!

Fuck this, I’m buying off Ari.

naveed January 22, 2009 at 8:54 pm

The entire press corps has been replaced by Schnitzel(s)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZZvLCycgOs

Sarjo January 22, 2009 at 9:39 pm

oh, just…like, WOW. It’s like…

“Malkovich. Malkovich? Malkovich. Malkovich! Malkovich. Malkovich. Malkovich.”

Being Robert Gibbs. Opening this Spring.

hobospacejungle January 22, 2009 at 10:50 pm

Sad fucking thing is these doucheturds will soon turn on Hopey and ask Robert questions they wouldn’t have dreamed of asking Bush’s asspiece in a thousand years. Like “why are you doing this?” And “could you explain this policy, please?”

Fucking hypocrites. Feed ‘em all to the wolves. Or lions. Whatever, so long as they are starving.

Mr Blifil January 22, 2009 at 11:21 pm

Did Fox send the same nameless black guy?

heathenish January 22, 2009 at 11:24 pm

If Hopey starts acting like Bush or Cheney I hope to christ SOMEONE from the fucking press corps will ask some hard questions.( It would be better if Hopey NEVER acted like either of those bastards, but…if he does questions should be asked!)

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