Wonkette
Since no one really knows what the hell is going on with these rotten New York Democrats, we’ll accept as fact-ish this latest installment in the New York Post’s successful 24-hour sledgehammering of Caroline Kennedy’s entire life and reputation: “In a stunning revelation, a source close to Gov. David Paterson insisted this afternoon that the governor ‘had no intention’ of picking Caroline Kennedy for New York’s vacant senate seat — because she was ‘mired’ in an issue over taxes, her nanny and possibly her marriage.” Maybe David Paterson should appoint someone right now, what with the escalating twin national embarrassments that are the New York Democratic Party and the entire Kennedy family and all. [NY Post]
Family? Taxes? Illegal nannies?
She’s just plumb right for Washington! I mean c’mon! She’s perfect!
Fucking Kennedys. GO AWAY.
Makes the Elliot Spitzer Diamond Whore fiasco seem dignified and classy.
escalating twin national embarrassments that are the New York Democratic Party and the entire Kennedy family
Come on, seriously, there is no possible way we can be worse than Illinois Democratic Party, the Minnesota Farmer Labor Party, or the Louisiana Democratic Party.
Tol’ja… What’s the scoop on Ed the Schloss?
wow. she makes turbo tax tim look like mother theresa, except like being alive and not an old raisin in a dress……mmmmmm, raisins.
Husband walked in on her going down on the illegal Guatemalan nanny they hadn’t paid witholding taxes on?
Just stop the insanity, already! She obviously had no idea what she was getting herself into and certainly no appreciation of how vicious politics in New York can be. On the other hand, the governor just needs to end this and pick somebody, anybody. Furthermore, it’s high time the Kennedys released their death grip on the American psyche. This has been going on for all of my cognizant life and I am sick of it.
I’m starting to get on board with the Harriet Christian candidacy. God DAMN the Democrats!
All these Caroline and Ted Kennedy posts and yet you continue to ignore the most powerful Kennedy. Anthony, who remains our de-facto dictator.
/Nelson Muntz
Her lesbian affair with Sarah Jessica Parker has been revealed!
Bill’s behind this, wants the job…Paterson just needs to rub his head, like Esau and Jacob…
Lets appoint another Bush while we’re at it.
Paterson should just appoint Al Sharpton and then claim he actually meant Al Roker.
Fuck, was it Isaac and Jacob…I forget, after too many years of Lutheran drinking…
C’mon Wonkette, the NY Post? Bathroom wall postings are better sourced and more frequently correct.
Anyway, what’s wrong with Lisa Minelli as a choice…?
No more political family dynasties pleez!!
Now with that said, appoint Cuomo.
Come on, seriously, there is no possible way we can be worse than Illinois Democratic Party, the Minnesota Farmer Labor Party, or the Louisiana Democratic Party.
There seems to be so much fail to go around these days. And we haven’t even tapped into the Republican fail or the Libertarian fail, so we know the cask will never run dry.
ManchuCandidate: Holy Crap, that’s it! Spiter for SenateZ!
Serolf Divad: … and she was saying “Enchen Ein Carpet Muncher!” That’s change I can believe in.
A Kennedy has ‘personal issues’?
Wonders never cease.
Krusty: “Gentlemen, I am your candidate. There’s just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up youthful, middle-aged indiscretions?”
Burns: “Are these indiscretions romantic, financial or treasonous?”
Krusty: “Russian hooker, you tell me.”
Burns: “We’ll say you were on a fact finding mission.”
Hibbert: “Congratulations Krusty, you’re running for Congress.”
Here is the problem. According to the rules of NY politics, this seat is reserved for a member of a political dynasty. If not Caroline, that leaves Andrew Cuomo. And he is a friend of the governor. If he is appointed, the legislature will pick someone the governor hates, just to torment him. So, at this point, the governor would like to sit tight, and hope in a week or two everyone forgets that he is supposed to pick someone. Welcome to New York.
It seems to me it’s like this: After her dad got shot, and then her uncle 5 years later, she sort of naturally grew up to be someone who wanted to stay out of the limelight.
So, she devoted her life to being just an average woman,who happens to be worth gazillions of dollars. A couple of charity gigs here and there, so as not to be a villain, and basically she’s just minding her own business.
Then along came Obama, and she, like millions of others, was seduced.
I think she thought, hey, maybe I should stop running from my birthright. Maybe it’s time for a change. Maybe I can do this.
Call it a midlife crisis, whatever.
Anyway, I think after a few interviews and such like, she realized: Nope, I had it right the first time. I’m not cut out for this.
The End.
anyway, I think Caroline is probably very nice, for a rich lady, and I wish her all the luck in the world.
gurukalehuru: I’ll add one thing to that, Guru. She always believed Junior was going to carry the mantle of Kennedy politician from John’s family. That’s why she felt OK with having three kids and a sucessful marriage for all these years.
gurukalehuru: Could you just hug me for a couple of moments…? I want to bask in such unrecognizably good human nature….then steer me over to the sink, so I can throw up….
You’d think the blind guy would have realized what a great cover this would be for his own stupidity. But I guess not, thereby proving his stupidity. Now he will nominate one of his relatives, as soon as he gets finished afixing a raccoon to his head.
That’s why she felt OK with having three kids and a sucessful marriage for all these years.
What a bitch. let’s burn her at the stake.
@Toomush Infermashun: “Liza” with a “z”, damn it. and look what you made Josh Fruhlinger: and magic titty: do with their “z”’s Damn you!
gurukalehuru: Kinky Friedman (the musician & novelist) ran for governor of Texas last time because he figured he had the name recognition and most governors are pretty clueless anyway so why not. He didn’t realize how politicians stock-in-trade is in being able to spew out non-answers and sound convincing. He seemed hit with a million pound shit hammer during the campaign due to the constant questions and vowed never to get involved in the public sphere again.
bitchincamaro: zorry…
Toomush Infermashun: WIN
Patterson must have discovered that she had a tramp-stamp top-of-the asscrack tattoo along with teh scandalous arm tattoo.
I think Patterson should just screw with everybody’s mind and appoint Hillary.
Jukesgrrl: Or parachute himself there! Also, not a raccoon but a skunk.
KTHXBYE!
The end.
@Beeble: they have Braile tats now?
Honestly, why do all these people need nannies and housekeepers?
She wasn’t even in the news cycle long enough to get blingied. Sad.
Lascauxcaveman: Bill?
Caroline Kennedy was having a hot lesbian trio affair with Barbara Bush and Meghan McCain, and some political advisers apparently thought that people couldn’t handle this.
Paterson’s Senior Human Relations Adviser, Eliot Spitzer, though, was said to have thought that this revelation would have propelled Kennedy to new heights of popularity and the revelation would have assured her the Presidency in 2012.
I just saw on the ESPN crawl that Floyd Landis will ride the Tour of California now that his two-year suspension is up. It’s likely that Caroline has decided to become Floyd’s manager instead of appointed US Senator from NY.
gurukalehuru: That’s what everyones’ BFF Nate Silver said on http://www.fivethirtyeight.com yesterday
Goodbye Caroline
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the treadmill
To make you Senator because of your name
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a celebrity on Larry King
Never knowing who to cling to
When the press set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I didn’t have the money
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did