Wonkette
Mexican-using payroll cheater Tim “Turbo Tax” Geithner has been approved by the Senate Finance Committee! This means the full Senate will surely anoint him our new Financial Dictator, and then the Economy will be saved, hooray! Geithner is best known for being heavily involved in the disastrous Paulson Bailout Scheme, which has done nothing but burn up $700 billion. Change! [New York Times]
What a turbo.
On the upside, the entire world economy will now be managed via an online Quicken account.
So the man accidently forgot to pay $34,000 in taxes. Is it a crime not to pay your taxes? Oh.
He does have the largest forehead I’ve ever seen. It makes him look smart.
The financial analysts I know froth at the mouth at the mention of his name. The kindest epithet I’ve heard was “colossal shithead.”
Cape Clod:
Don’t you mean five head?
Mr Blifil: I dunno. For an operation that big, you’d better use QuickBooks instead.
That’s OK, Geitner’s going to use Turbotax as a tool to avoid paying back all those loans the Chinese have made to us over the years. So, actually, this is a genius move on Obama’s part.
Mr Blifil: the entire world economy will now be managed via an online Quicken account.
That is an improvement after Paulson, who managed money with what can be, at best, called the “buckshot” method, first suggested to him by Cheney, at gunpoint, accidentally, or not.
Change! Is what will be left in our bank accounts…
Larry McAwful: Deluxe.
And as bonus to the entire misspelling world, he’s going to officially remove the “h” from Geithner.
I had to look up “misspelling”. Also.
Mega ditto’s to Senator Layne for the Monopoly analogy - brought a smile to my cheeky little face
Why were getting financial direction from some guy named Hank again?
freakishlystrong: now that’s change you can believe in!
The abacus is poised for a comeback.
On a slightly different note, I’ve received 4 copies of the exact same tax software cd from H&R Block in the last 3 weeks. Is H&R Block the new AOL?
I KEEP FORGETTING TO PAY FOR STUFF WHEN I’M SUPPOSED TO.
DAMN YOU TURBO TAX.
Great. another asshat that can’t count to 21 without being naked. Maybe I’ll go apply for that M.Lynch position since Thane left. I’m pretty good at spending and losing other peoples money. but my hair isn’t that good, mines more like paulsens. not good.not good at all.
Oh and
“ ‘Herald, read the accusation!’ said the King.
On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:
‘The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,
All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole the tarts, And took them quite away!’
‘Consider your verdict,’ the King asked the jury.
‘Not yet, not yet!’ the Rabbit interrupted. ‘There’s a great deal to come before that!’”
Also. L. Carroll FTW.
Meh, we’ve had years of people who couldn’t fight running the Pentagram.
Somebody please explain why we are hiring a guy who’s main qualification for the job is his intimacy with the TARP program which has been an unmitigated disaster. If I gave you $700B I bet you couldn’t lose it as quickly as it disappeared down the Wall Street rabbit hole. One would think that any involvement with such a debacle would be a career-ender but one would be very wrong.
Chad San Marino:
Somewhere, there is a lawyer amending his appeal on behalf of Wesley Snipes.
This has been darn fine advertising for Turbo Tax.
Timmy never should have let Lassie do his taxes.
lawrenceofthedesert: I always let my dog do my taxes. How else can I make sure the IRS gets a steaming pile of dog crap from me every year?
Cha-ching!
It doesn’t matter…by the time they quit printing money, we’ll be paying back the Chinese .0001 cents on the dollar, so don’t try to do no thinkin’, just go on with your drinkin…have your fun you old son of a gun and drive home in your Lincoln…anyway, that’ my game plan..Geithner can ride in the back and pay for gas…
Is it wrong that I think the tax cheat is hot, even with his giant forehead?
The aliens from This Island Earth (used in the MST3K movie) had huge foreheads, and they could build interocetors, but taxes were a mystery to them.
As for the more (yawn) important question of the bailout, here.
700b here, 825b there, fun with mathematics, not economics, testing the boundary of infinite numbers.