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URBAN UNREST

Union Station Burns!

First the riots, now the fires. Thanks a lot, Obama! Wonkette operative “Patrick W.” reports, “I guess there’s a fire inside union station RIGHT NOW, probably set by retreating tourist mobs. But don’t worry, it’s probably only garbage, that they disposed of in piles on the ground. Either that or the riots in SW have migrated very fast.”

We also got a scary email from “Maggie,” about this terror:

Dear Wonkette,

My friend said just got evacuated from Union Station and wanted to see if I could check the news and see if there was anything about it, but I haven’t seen anything. Do you know if Union Station why they were just evacuated? Hopefully nothing serious!

Thanks,
Maggie

Newell is on the way! And with Andrew Sullivan’s help, they will vomit this fire out!

UDPATE: Grease fire, at McDonald’s, of course. “We had a wonderful time,” some tourist tells the Washington Post, the end.


1:37 PM on Wed January 21 2009
By Ken Layne
2414 Views

  1. CivicHoliday says at 1:40 pm, January 21st, 2009

    Hangovers are now cures for national disasters. Next hurricane season, I’ll be on call and drunk 24/7.

  2. Is Newell now our field reporter anytime there is danger/destruction in DC? Will this involve him having to wear his “outside pants”?

  3. finallyhappy says at 1:46 pm, January 21st, 2009

    nothing on WTOP or NBC4

  4. chascates says at 1:46 pm, January 21st, 2009

    Aren’t the homeless stationed there specifically to urinate on fires?

  5. Sassette says at 1:54 pm, January 21st, 2009

    Rahm Emanuel is NOT going to be amused, people.

  6. He will shortly be reporting Godzilla is loose on the metro…film at 11:00

  7. Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool says at 1:55 pm, January 21st, 2009

    I have a frozen colon. So much so that my Angry Chocolate Starfish is numb and mildly miffed.

  8. JeffGoldblum says at 1:56 pm, January 21st, 2009

    FINALLY!!!11! ALL THINGZ MUSS BERN!!1 IMPEACH THE NOOBAMA B4 IT IS 2 L8!!

  9. freakishlystrong says at 1:56 pm, January 21st, 2009

    And So It Begins…

  10. Maybe its just the Bush lackeys “scorched earth” method of fleeing DC.

  11. HomoElectus says at 2:17 pm, January 21st, 2009

    In his first act as Vice President, Joe Biden decided that if he can no longer take the train home from work every night, NO ONE FUCKING CAN

  12. Mr Blifil says at 3:02 pm, January 21st, 2009

    Damn those trash can dudes were prescient.

  13. whiskey tango foxtrot says at 3:13 pm, January 21st, 2009

    O MAI GOD Union station is on fire? I was JUST THERE two days after Christmas. I could have been killed!!!!

  14. whiskey tango foxtrot says at 3:21 pm, January 21st, 2009

    So, race war? It’s on?

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