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HEALTH ALERT

  • OH NO TED KENNEDY: He was cold lunchin’ with the bigwigs in the Capitol’s Statuary Hall when he collapsed. It was apparently a seizure, and he got taken to the hospital. Also, for those Robert Byrd fans who freak out any time they hear about an old person falling over, fear not, Senator Byrd is fine. [CNN]


3:29 PM on Tue January 20 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1315 Views

  1. SayItWithWookies says at 3:33 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Well — Caroline’s a shoo-in now.

  2. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:33 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Faker.

  3. NoWireHangers says at 3:33 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Clearly, Barack simply has to lay hands on Senator Kennedy and he’ll make a full recovery.

  4. Sarah Palin (vp@whitehouse.gov) says at 3:34 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Can I step in and help? Also?

    -SP

  5. actor212 says at 3:36 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Mary Jo Kopechne rose from the dead and ate his braiiiiiiiiiiiins!

  6. Cape Clod says at 3:39 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Can Joe Lieberman get brain cancer next, please?

  7. Dean Booth says at 3:48 pm, January 20th, 2009

    BHO appointed Kennedy and Byrd his official food tasters. BHO showed his pragmatic approach to governing by giving this job to the already near dead!

  8. Lascauxcaveman says at 3:51 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Well, obviously, screw Senator Byrd. Who gives a shit, as long as Jesse Helms stays dead.

  9. hockeymom says at 4:11 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Mondale said that he and Kennedy were swapping war stories about Byrd, when Kennedy collapsed.

  10. Monsieur Grumpe says at 4:12 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Why couldn’t it have been Roberts, Alito, Scalia and Thomas?

  11. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 4:18 pm, January 20th, 2009

    I hope Patrick didn’t drive him to the hospital.

  12. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 4:22 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Monsieur Grumpe: Yea, where were Alito, Scalia, and Thomas? Taking a collective shit in the portapotties? Having a geriatric three way?

  13. user-of-owls says at 4:25 pm, January 20th, 2009

    actor212: Wow! Only the fifth post? It took you that long to read “Ted Kennedy” and hit the macro key for a Chappaquiddick post?

    Cape Clod: Alas, he lacks the fundamental prerequisite for said disease.

  14. actor212 says at 4:29 pm, January 20th, 2009

    user-of-owls: Oh pulleeez…SOMEONE had to!

  15. chascates says at 4:31 pm, January 20th, 2009

    re: Sen. Byrd: Once an aide of Fritz Hollings ran in to tell him Strom Thurmond had collapsed on the Senate floor. Fritz replied “He’ll get up. He always does.”

  16. bitchincamaro says at 4:47 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Should have stayed away from the peanut butter s’mores.

  17. gurukalehuru says at 4:51 pm, January 20th, 2009

    I’se a comin’, Mary Jo!

  18. Bearbloke says at 5:26 pm, January 20th, 2009

    “Cui bono?” I say… according to the current Presidential line of succession, Hillary comes *after* Byrd…. so maybe Uncle Ted got Byrd’s drink (along with his own, or course)…

  19. Lord Licorice says at 6:58 pm, January 20th, 2009

    Kennedy’s always have to go out melodramatically; assassination, plane crash, seizure. Drama queens!

  20. DangerousLiberal says at 9:14 pm, January 20th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Word.

    Also: Orrin Hatch and even Bob Cornyn (Nutjob-TX) had nice things to say about the Tedster. Is there some sort of epidemic of hope breaking out? Does CDC know about this?

  21. DangerousLiberal says at 9:16 pm, January 20th, 2009

    queeraselvis v 2.0: According to Sen. Vitter, these are not mutually exclusive options. They are a turn on, also.

  22. villageatrois says at 5:44 am, January 21st, 2009

    Those Kennedy boys used to be so healthy, playing football on the Whitehouse Lawn and all. But they seem to be cursed by some sorta head thing.

  23. delirium tremens

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