Wonkette
It’s time for our first official historical inaugural Inauguration Day liveblogging! Good morning, Hopeful America. We’ve got the Comics Curmudgeon on the ground, Jim Newell staggering around Capitol Hill with a broken camera, and the best political team on the internets, etc. Let’s gather together around our teevee set and make fun of the cable-news people and, later, cry tears of awesome.
10:12 AM — Who is this old guy being led around up there? Oh man, that’s Mohammad Ali. Good lord, there’s some loaded imagery.
10:14 AM — And there’s … uh, Dustin Hoffman. Anderson Cooper asks his mortal enemy Wolf Blitzer: “Why is Dustin Hoffman up there? Why did you let this happen, Wolf?” Blitzer blames it on Nancy Pelosi.
10:15 AM — Meanwhile, Joe and Jill Gaffesalot are “having coffee with the president, as they say.” Gross.
10:18 AM — Ronald Reagan forced this Ice Parade to be held on the West side, because of his love for gay San Francisco.
10:23 AM — And this Blingee? FOUND ART. Until Wonkette stumbled across this weird MySpace trash-icon tool, the Blingee was used exclusively by large underprivileged teenagers and would-be urban gangsters. Now, those same tragic children are making Barack Obama blingees, without a shred of cold ironic detachment.
10:26 AM — Which proves, obviously, that Barack Obama has healed America.
10:28 AM — Hey, it’s the Marine Corp band! Are they playing the famous march, “The Washington Post March”?
10:29 AM — No, but close, as far as Souza marches go. What happens when the Washington Post goes under like all other newspapers, this summer? Wonkette will buy “The Washington Post March” at auction, for seven dollars!
10:30 AM — And we’ll replace this patriotic video with, perhaps, this shameful dancing gorilla:
10:34 AM — New liveblog up soon, plus Newell’s Libtard Party Pix!
Everyone knows that Reagan was totally gay for San Francisco, but he kept his closet in Simi Valley.
Also.
Someone unironically made a tap-dancin Barack hatchling?
Will Melanie Morgan be in attendance showing off her “ginormous ta-tas?”
I’m confused, is “coffee with the President” a euphemism for sweaty sex in a Congressional bathroom or code for an orgy with the first couple and all former first couples. Wolf or Anderson needs to expand on the “as they say”.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
“Coffee with the President” is about as close as Joe the Gaffer can expect to come to the levers of power for the next 8 years or so…
Today, We are Onekette.
…The Wonkettian Snark March?
Damnit, Japan is in the wrong time zone. I still have 2 hours before I can sleep!
Miller: No, Wolf and Anderson need to just get over it and fuck already.
Preferably on camera.
The video of the gorilla getting hosed down brings back disturbing memories from the civil rights era. Which was the intended effect I’m sure.
Over at CNN.com, they have a pic of the First Families together at last. Laura Bush looks like she’s doubled her dosage of Xanax in celebration of today’s events.
Thank you for posting the twirling gay gorilla video. Now I’ll never forget this day.
Hey…having a brunch at home with the family and in-laws and it looks great on TV! Went to the Virginia Ball last night and met Eric Holder. I wished him luck and told him, “We are counting on you to make it right.” He paused and smiled and thanked me for the support.
It was a great venue for a ball and the Commodores were…well…old, but fun.
Go Barry! I am considerably happier with my new Commander In Chief!
Hey, Peggy Noonan is on NBC. Brokaw had to bring up that Bush was leaving as a VERY unpopular President and she actually didn’t take the bait.
hahahaaaaaaa, ted kennedy only needs a can while that pussy cheney is coming in a wheelchair!
Man, this is not the kind of weather in which to have to play a brass instrument.
Oh God. Jill Biden just got in a car with Lynn Cheney! Someone save her!
I’m envisioning Dick being wheeled around like Hannable Lecture.With muzzle.
JohnnyMeatworth: cane, dumbass
AGH!!! Cheney in a wheelchair! I am going to hell because this makes me smile.
Dick Cheney lifted a box? My ASS! He was lifting it to the shredder! Like he helped to move. Right.
AfghanVet: Exactly. Why isn’t everyone jumping on the fact that literally his last official act as a federal employee was to lie to the nation, again?
OffTheRecord: That’s all of neo-conservatism in a wheelchair. Let’s hope the people of Israel toss out the last bastion of neo-cons in February.
Somehow the FOX commentator managed to claim Cheney’s accident tells you how great America is as a country.
Mr Blifil: Precisely. This is his big middle finger to everyone. I call a big BS.
Cheney never did any lifting for anyone except himself.
Tweety Bird Mathews is waxing philosophic now. Prepare the hose please.
Dickface Cheney should be towed.
Where’s Hopey?
WHERE”S HOPEY!?
Tweety and Keith-O sparring about Tricky Dick and Goofy Dubya. Go Keith!
Oh HAPPY F*&$ing DAY! Bush leaving the same way he arrived, as the most hated man on the earth…goodbye F*&@er!
Yay Barry! I love ya man!
Damn, Michelle and the girls are FIERCE! They are going to be an awesome First Family.
Grandma looks great too.
Hopey’s trying not to smile!