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EMAIL OF THE DAY

Wait, So Barack Obama Is Not Really A Mythical Blood-Sucking Horror Monster?

'I thank you for those items that you sent me, the monkey and the plywood violin ....'In our first 2009 edition of “Email of the Day,” we bring you two (2) tragic examples of America’s Dumb People fighting a losing battle with words … and one of them also tries (and fails) to deploy the weapon of “sarcasm.” Also: What kind of terrible person refuses to show the Proper Respect to any endeavor loosely connected to some random former Marine?

In apparent response to Intern Juli’s link list mentioning a Ben Smith item about some blood-bank group using an Obama logo, we got this tortured string of jabbering nonsense:

From: Tricia
Date: Mon, Jan 12, 2009 sat 7:10 AM
Subject: Vampiric? Hardly
To: tips@wonkette.com

Hello Wonkette,

And I thought you were a wonk. This O Positive Program is a very juicy story, but not in the way you portray! As the the mother of a Marine Sergeant and the founder of the group that Ben Smith linked to last week, I wonder at your writing that vampiric Barack Obama Wants the Blood of Christian Children. Barack isn’t getting the blood personally, geez!

Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

There is a severe shortage of blood in the Philadelphia area. Probably because of the blood spilled on the streets every weekend as described by surgeon and fallen soldier John Pryor in the WaPo article The War in West Philadelphia

Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

All we are trying to do is help our suffering people get the life blood they need when in the hospitals. There are millions of Barack Obama supporters out here willing to take up the call to service and help our fellow citizens

Patricia M.M. S____

Ugh.

And now, the one and only fan of hilarious new right-wing nut site “Big Hollywood” would like to have a few words with us, because it is very rude to criticize some infantile wingnut talking points posted on a website, especially if a Former Marine is to blame for typing something so unbearably shitty that it made us all want to eat a sack of poison meat clumps, for relief.

From: maria louisa h___
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Mon, Jan 12, 2009 at 7:04 AM
Subject: Big Hollywood Article.

Hello Wonkette,

Congratulations, I beleive that it only took until the fourth paragraph for you to use the word “douchebag”. I guess that you would know one. Nice article also, slandering a former Marine. This blogging thing must really take some balls, woops, I think your herbal tea is ready, don’t let it steep too long…you douchebag. Oh and yes, Gary Graham and several present and former Marines are close, personal, friends of mine.

Philip Maurice H____

What the fuck does this even mean? Nothing, as usual. Just more sad evidence of the drooling fail clowns who make America the dumbest country on Earth.


2:21 PM on Mon January 12 2009
By Ken Layne
9643 Views

  1. CrunchyKnee says at 2:28 pm, January 12th, 2009

    We can haz much fail!

  2. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:28 pm, January 12th, 2009

    “SLANDERING A FORMER MARINE.”

    YA. WHAT R YOO DOING? DON’T YOO KNOW THAT PEOPLE THAT WERE ONCE IN THE MILITARY DOO NOT GET CRITICIZED. IT IZ WON OF TEH PERKS!1! GOD DAMN YOU!!~`!

  3. Otto Reimer says at 2:29 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Who knew leathernecks were so sensitive that the word douchebag makes them choke like they were being tea-bagged. Steep that Maurice, you crazy old space cowboy.

  4. What kind of he-man Marine uses his wife’s email account?

  5. user-of-owls says at 2:30 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Ouch. Someone named Philip Maurice imputing that you drink herbal tea. That must hurt. Alot.

  6. MathewBrooks says at 2:30 pm, January 12th, 2009

    is herbal tea code for gay?

  7. Neon Trotsky says at 2:30 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I think Mary Luisa had a few too many cups of the “herbal tea” (ayahuasca?)–but at least she’s willing to share!

  8. CrunchyKnee says at 2:31 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Oh yeah, one question I’ve always wanted to ask - is the “shit fer brains” cartoon guy wearing a hard-hat or is his head an actual circumcised penis?

  9. Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool says at 2:32 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Can I haz Lemon Zinger? Or Liz Glover? Oops, sleepytime.

  10. user-of-owls says at 2:32 pm, January 12th, 2009

    MathewBrooks: is herbal tea code for gay? No, but Philip Maurice sure is.

  11. TommySez says at 2:33 pm, January 12th, 2009

    What an idiot. You can’t really over-steep herbal tea.

  12. Neon Trotsky says at 2:34 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Neon Trotsky: Whoa, wait, WTF? The e-mail comes from Maria Louisa but is signed by Philip Maurice. Dude, you were in the Marines but have to borrow your wife/girlfriend/cleaning lady’s e-mail address? Weak.

  13. FunkyPalmettoBug says at 2:35 pm, January 12th, 2009

    What about over steeping when you’re teabagging a former marine?

  14. Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool says at 2:37 pm, January 12th, 2009

    user-of-owls: +1 throw pillow.

  15. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 2:37 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Is there some “herbal tea” stereotype that I am unaware of?

  16. mdotsota says at 2:37 pm, January 12th, 2009

    What a dumbass, when it’s written down it’s libeling a former Marine that Wonkette is obviously very guilty of, not slander.

  17. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:38 pm, January 12th, 2009

    …speaking of Philip Maurice, when is “Don’t ask Don’t tell” going to be abolished?!

  18. twingonaut says at 2:40 pm, January 12th, 2009

    No, no. Maria Louisa is his stage name for his wonderful drag persona. I saw her perform last week and she was fantastico! You should see what she does with the trucknutz.

    Also.

  19. bitchincamaro says at 2:40 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I, Lee Harvey Oswald, dead former marine, second your outrage, sir/mam.

  20. Atheist Nun says at 2:40 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Well, beat me with a fuckstick.

    Barack isn’t getting the blood personally, geez!
    O RLY?
    Barack isn’t getting the blood personally, geez!
    O RLY?
    Barack isn’t getting the blood personally, geez!
    O RLY?

    Ad infinitum… Or, until I punch someone in the throat.

  21. Former Marine?

    If “Philip” weren’t so busy ducking for cover in the Texas Air National Guard he would have learned that Marines never refer to themselves as “Former Marines”.

    Semper Gumby fauxgressive.

  22. UNZIPPEDFLY says at 2:41 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I bet his real name is “Philipe”, with an accent on the “e”. And he wears Mary Louise’ undergarments when he blogs.

  23. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:41 pm, January 12th, 2009

    …calm down everyone, I have a feeling that “Maria Luisa” is what he likes to be called when he performs at the local Tranny Bar!

  24. undermedicated says at 2:41 pm, January 12th, 2009

    MathewBrooks: I’m pretty sure herbal tea works not only relaxes teh gay before receiving the buttsecs, but also can be used as lube, and for general cleanup afterword. So, yes, there’s pretty much nothing gayer than herbal tea.

  25. Herbal tea drinking Gay Americans of the world unite!

  26. iwillsavethispatient says at 2:42 pm, January 12th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Speaking of slandering former Marines, wasn’t that Great Americano-Muslin Hero, Rev Jeremiah Wright, a former marine?

  27. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:42 pm, January 12th, 2009

    twingonaut: …damn you!

  28. Vewol Mevemont says at 2:44 pm, January 12th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: No, we’re talking about hard working marines here — not the Jeremiah Wright kind. Ask the PUMAs if you don’t know what I mean.

  29. Thegreatbacon says at 2:45 pm, January 12th, 2009

    It’s time someone called you out for waiting for the fourth paragraph to use “douchebag.” I expect at least some type of bag, douche or otherwise, mentioned in EVERY SINGLE PARAGRAPH.

  30. shanemacgowan says at 2:45 pm, January 12th, 2009

    We need grammar, now more than ever.

  31. Nim, ham hock of liberty says at 2:45 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Second email translated:

    What sort of idiot calls people “douchebag”…? I know you are but what am I LOL!! Also, you are commie. And gay. And you are a douchebag. Also, some friends of mine will punch you.

  32. SayItWithWookies says at 2:46 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Clever of Mr. Maria Louise (if that’s his real name) to write to Wonkette — he’ll get more readership than if he had sent his letter in to Big Hollywood.

  33. Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool says at 2:46 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Today we are all former Marines who hope to upgrade to 56K fax/modems.

  34. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:47 pm, January 12th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: Hahahahah!
    He’s black so it doesn’t count though. Only whiteys in Hollywood get immunity from retarded America… er “real America” if you prefer.

  35. ManchuCandidate says at 2:47 pm, January 12th, 2009

    WIDTAP:
    Exactly.

    “So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Corps! Do you ladies understand?”

  36. iwillsavethispatient: How DARE you slander the Marines by associating them with Rev. Wrong!?! HAVE YOU AT LONG LAST NO DECENCY?

  37. 4tehlulz says at 2:47 pm, January 12th, 2009

    >>Oh and yes, Gary Graham and several present and former Marines are close, personal, friends of mine.

    Yeah. So?

  38. Roll Fish says at 2:48 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I don’t know how or why, but I read “Gary Graham” as “Gary Coleman” and was very shocked at first to find that Gary Coleman had been a Marine. Perhaps I’ve got Norm Coleman on the brain.

  39. karenology says at 2:50 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Ooh, how ever will Wonkette recover from that barbed witticism in the second email, “takes one to know one!”

  40. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 2:51 pm, January 12th, 2009

    twingonaut: Yea, thanks for the image of some drag queen Malkining a pair of trucknutz a la the ping pong ball scene in Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I can haz brain bleach?

  41. InsidiousTuna says at 2:52 pm, January 12th, 2009

    We all need to service former Marines, for blood money, to send to Barack Obama for fleece jackets.

  42. JadedDIssonance says at 2:52 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

    ANSWER THE QUESTION LAYNE!

  43. Not a blood sucking monster? So I didn’t need to buy all this garlic and I can go back to sleeping during the night? Thanks for the heads up, this would have been good info to know before I quit my job to fight the night horrors.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  44. freakishlystrong says at 2:54 pm, January 12th, 2009

    “Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?”
    Jesus, priorities aside, where’s your fuckin’ sarcasm?

  45. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 2:55 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Otto Reimer:
    I have long been puzzled by this. Apparently, our entire military stands to be routed by a few bursts of harsh criticism. Pray the terrorists never invest in a bullhorn and stand-up comedian technology.

    Also, why are people like Philip Maurice H____ reading Wonkette in the first place? Inquiring minds want to know.

  46. AgentSparks says at 2:55 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Did these emails come from AOL accounts, by chance?

  47. lovekills says at 3:03 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Lemon zinger is a very refreshing anal douche. Nothing about teh gay at all ungule (is that right)

  48. Lemming Caution says at 3:03 pm, January 12th, 2009

    WIDTAP: nice catch on the “former Marine” thing!

    the active Marine whom I teabag regularly thinks these guys are douchebags.

  49. El Pinche says at 3:04 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Big Hollywood…wow, it must suck to hate all of entertainment except for Rush, FoxNews, and Steven Baldwin..and that guy with the bad skin.

  50. twingonaut says at 3:06 pm, January 12th, 2009

    AngryBlakGuy: Sorry. It was just a marvelous performance that I couldn’t keep it to myself.

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Sorry to you, too. She just attached them to a rifle and posed in a bikini while drinking a can of Crystal Pepsi.

  51. GlennBecksFelch says at 3:10 pm, January 12th, 2009

    ” Max Cleland is a douchebag!” - Saxby Chambliss

  52. you cannot be serious says at 3:11 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I hadn’t thought of putting my herbs in tea. Thanks for the tip, Marine.

  53. What the fuck do these cheese dips know about being a Marine!? Please don’t even try to be my voice, pea-brains!
    -A former Marine Sergeant who asks for nothing from his country but common sense.

  54. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 3:15 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Dude, your name is Philip Maurice. STFU and stop acting like you dont’ enjoy a nice cup of herbal tea with your favorite Paddington Bear.

  55. JadedDIssonance says at 3:15 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Servo: I don’t even ask that. All I’m looking for is not to be eaten by the zombies when they come. I hear they are hibernating between fargo and wasilla.

  56. Hart88: missing ex-wife, rather.

  57. JadedDIssonance:
    Stock up on Sade records.

  58. Sassette says at 3:20 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

    I get the whole “repeat a catch phrase” device, but if you’re going to use it your catch phrase should probably be a little more memorable. And if you’re going to call out your own sarcasm, your sarcasm should be better.

  59. Theodorick Of York says at 3:22 pm, January 12th, 2009

    karenology:
    Yeah, what SHE said. And nonny nonny boo boo, also.

  60. AfghanVet says at 3:22 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Priorities at Wonkette? Please you cannot give blood when the olive that us formed in your veins after years of abuse clogs the needle.

  61. insert_namehere says at 3:24 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Thegreatbacon:
    No, if you’d READ “Elements of Style”, you’d remember that Douchebag goes in the LEAD!

    Such as “Douchebag starts Douchey Website Full of Douche, You Douche!”

    This is exactly why America’s papers are failing.

  62. When Philip’s mom was homeschooling the little scholar, they were doing spelling, and she said “Just remember, it’s i before e except before v or…whatever. Go fetch me a cigarette, kid.”

  63. Otto Reimer says at 3:26 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Anonymous Office Zombie: Terrorist with a bullhorn sending our troops to their deaths? Already done: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiSwqaQ4VbA And yes, in retrospect, this is a comedy routine meets a high school pep rally.

    USA! USA! USA!

  64. Zipperupus says at 3:28 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I am a Marine. I had a cup of chamomile last night. There was nothing in box that mentioned Teh Gay. But you can redeem Celestial Seasons UPC labels for woodland cammie Truck Nutz so Teh GayZ will never see you cumming.

  65. PsycGirl says at 3:30 pm, January 12th, 2009

    A headline in WaPo today reads “Bush: Nation’s Moral Standing Still Intact”. At first read I could swear it was “Nation’s Moran Standing Still Intact”.
    This could be more accurate.

  66. Fuck. You mean I threw my vote away on a non-Vampire?

    I was assured he was a vampire & he would usher in a new era in Presidential Vampire and Zombie Senatorial relations

  67. That’s Douchebag Marine, Sir, Yes Sir!, to you.

  68. Not_So_Much says at 3:33 pm, January 12th, 2009

    He/She is offended by ‘douchebag’ but not the “Did daddy rape in the war?” thing?

    Save us Bizarro Superman!!

  69. “Your herbal tea is ready” is going to be my new insult of choice. I will use it on all my enemies. They stare at me blankly all the time anyway.

  70. I don’t give a squirt what someone is or was. Who fucking cares? Now when can i get my gay marriage?? Priorities my ass.

  71. Oh, and by the way, I am really sick of this “people in the service are sacred” bullshit. They are no more or less honorable than any other group. They do jobs for which they are paid, often more than they would earn in the free market with the qualifications they posess. I have had relationships of all kinds with people in all branches of the armed services, and among them were noble individuls, and scumwad individuals, and everything in between.

  72. Gopherit says at 3:35 pm, January 12th, 2009

    JadedDIssonance: wait, we can put sarcasm aside here??!!

    My world is spinning.

  73. Cape Clod says at 3:41 pm, January 12th, 2009

    ‘Don’t you dare use your right to freedom of speech that we have put our lives on the line to protect or me and my friends will beat you to death! Also!’

  74. I had to have herbal tea today because all I had left was stems & seeds. (note: crush the seeds & give it a really long time to seep). It’s still douchy though.

  75. JadedDIssonance says at 3:43 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Gopherit: Don’t worry, we’ll never get a straight answer out of that Layne fellow, he no longer sees shades of meaning. He is Sarcasmblind. If we never get a response, we never need the ensuing existential crisis.

  76. Matericia says at 3:44 pm, January 12th, 2009

    The MOTHER of a MARINE, you dingbats.

    You guys don’t even read her posts before you start to throw your bile.

    You hate apple pie, too?

  77. Matericia: Philip is a mother’s name? Or are you trying to say we should read two letters and think that there was only one?

  78. Mustang:
    The worst-case is “Brave members of the Air Force”. WTF!? I remember an AP story about how the Air Force enlisted personnel whined about the laundry service in Afghanistan. Heroes my ass.

  79. Lee Harvey Oswald and the Texas Tower sniper and Oliver Sleazeball North also were former Marines. Honor them, you traitors!

  80. Monsieur Grumpe says at 3:55 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Apparently herbal tea is the new brie.

  81. PortlandSmartAss says at 3:59 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Jeremiah Wright may have been a Marine, but he caused us to lose the Vietnam War by saving LBJ!
    Uhh.

    The real answer to this wingnut is that if someone was involuntarily drafted, then you can call them a douchebag for them serving their country, but if they volunteered because they couldn’t get a different job, then you can’t dis them.

  82. Voyou Charmant says at 4:00 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?
    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

    Srsly.

  83. Canuckledragger says at 4:07 pm, January 12th, 2009

    “Until conservatives, libertarians and Republicans - who will be the lion’s share of Big Hollywood’s contributors - recognize that (pop) culture is the big prize and that politics is secondary, there will be no victory in this important battle.”

    I blame “Diamondless Dave” Whore-Owitz for this atrocity.

    And fetal alcohol-associated retardation.

    But mostly Dave.

    Hollywood republitards UNITE! Your table for five is ready… Your waitron is a former Marine, so watch your mouth.

  84. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:10 pm, January 12th, 2009

    it only took until the fourth paragraph for you to use the word “douchebag”. I guess that you would know one.

    This is the strangest compliment on someone’s hygiene I’ve ever seen.

  85. Welcome to Bizarro!world, where any herbal tea-drinking liberal wuss can shred a Marine into a sobbing mess five times before breakfast.

  86. Not_So_Much: Don’t even joke about Bizarro Superman. Did you READ those comics? They were painful. Horrifying. “Me am loser! Me am happy because in bizarro land, loser am good! Which mean bad! Hooray!”

    And it goes on for pages and pages and pages. And then it ends with the words “Don’t like it? Go sue Bizarro Land!” or something, which is basically just saying “Go fuck yourself.”

    And you get the feeling that whoever wrote this made the whole comic just to include those last words, as some sort of grudge against his readers. It’s baffling. You’d think your rage would simmer down a bit after getting halfway through writing a comic that stupid, but he seemed to have the dedicated anger of a madman.

  87. dannygutters says at 4:26 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I’ll admit the herbal tea line made me laugh, mostly because he used the verb steep correctly speaking tea-wise then threw in a defensive ‘douchebag’ to remind us he’s not gay.

  88. Canuckledragger says at 4:32 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Matericia: No, the bile is directed toward Philip Maurice H________, you know, the guy peeved on behalf of an ACTUAL Marine, but who uses his wife’s email account.

    Before you presume to correct others, try a little thing they call ‘reading for comprehension.’ You know, like reading BOTH missives before your premature apoplectic ejaculation. I know you concern trolls aren’t big on it, but try it. It might stick.

    And stuff yer fuckin’ apple pie, too. Here we prefer HAMAS WAFFLES!

  89. gjdodger says at 4:37 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities?

    I…well, Jesus Christ, I had them when I left the bar! Some douchebag musta stole ‘em.

  90. sammythemc says at 4:38 pm, January 12th, 2009

    The invocation of the Marine Corps as some source of in either of these entries would probably embarrass actual marines, and I would know, because my brother is a marine dammit

  91. Mr. Todd says at 4:39 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Canuckledragger: well yea but hate to break it to you dude, but Hamas’ waffle-making capacity has been severely curtailed thanks to the blockade.

  92. RobPetrified says at 4:41 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm aside, I wonder if Patricia M.M. S has been SHIT ON BY PROFESSIONALS!!!!!
    If not, please come back when you have some more relevant experience.
    Kthnxby.

  93. sammythemc says at 4:42 pm, January 12th, 2009

    sammythemc: “some source” should be “some source of unimpeachably american knowledge and experience”

  94. gurukalehuru says at 4:48 pm, January 12th, 2009

    So, do you all know why anarchists drink herbal tea?
    Because proper tea is theft!
    That was a joke.

  95. Dreadful Gate says at 5:08 pm, January 12th, 2009

    He needs a Cleveland Steamer with a Reverse Teabag Dismount

  96. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 5:13 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm aside, where are your priorities in what respect, Charlie?

  97. facehead says at 5:26 pm, January 12th, 2009

    email haz a sad.

  98. CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us says at 5:44 pm, January 12th, 2009

  99. Philip Maurice? Maria Louisa? How many nicknames does this Jeff Gannon/Guckert character have? Someone needs to put a stop to the insanity.

  100. Matericia says at 6:00 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Sarcasm IS the priority here,

    What BESIDES sarcasm and grammar ARE your PRIORITIES?

    My guess is grammar then schadenfreude

  101. Thegreatbacon says at 6:05 pm, January 12th, 2009

    insert_namehere: Exactly. If they really wanted to fix journalism, they would lead with Douchebag, cut out the article completely, and just have people yell at each other in the comments. That’s the direction we’re heading anyway.

  102. revhatchell says at 6:15 pm, January 12th, 2009

    big hollywood is a white separatist movement.

    look for a breitfart sponsored remake of ‘birth of a nation’ coming to a compound near you.

  103. That last email ought to come with a decoder ring. And a free drink.

  104. donner_froh says at 6:42 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Why are her only friends from the Marine Corps? Must be a lonely life when they are deployed.

  105. donner_froh says at 6:43 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Roll Fish: I read “Gary Gilmore” who is not only currently dead but also not a Marine, former or otherwise.

  106. stopmebeforeitypeagain says at 6:48 pm, January 12th, 2009

    gjdodger: It’s 6:45. Do you know where your priorities are?

  107. Jukesgrrl says at 6:50 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Will Tricia and Louisa be at the Georgetown Inaugural Ball? Sarcasm aside, their priorities could save it. I could understand them because I used to teach composition at the University of Pittsburgh.

  108. DemmeFatale says at 7:04 pm, January 12th, 2009

    I thought we were latte-sippers.

  109. Scandalabra says at 7:27 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Surely he knows that teabagging is just the flip side of felching.

  110. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 7:49 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Otto Reimer:
    Oh ho! Very nice. How could I ever forget that one, especially when Colbert threw it back in Bush’s face at that one roast, er, I mean Correspondents Dinner.

  111. mylesfromnowhere says at 9:29 pm, January 12th, 2009

    Oh and yes, Gary Graham and several present and former Marines are close, personal, friends of mine.

    sort of like saying..some of my best friends are…(black, gay, tranny, wonketteers) which usually means YOU think they are, but they think otherwise. also. cause some of my best friends are PUMAs and they told me to say this.

  112. Mr Blifil says at 12:13 am, January 13th, 2009

    So Obama doesn’t suck blood, but I think we’ve pretty well established what Philip Maurice sucks. The cocks of slandered Marines.

  113. twingonaut says at 12:16 am, January 13th, 2009

    Herbal tea-bagging aside, were are the blood sucking presidents at?

  114. Mr Blifil says at 12:17 am, January 13th, 2009

    Trace: No comic artist would ever be able to sell Bizarro as a concept in this day and age. Not since they started giving people Lithium.

    And yeah I used to have a compilation that contained a whole chapter of Bizarro stories. It’s the most empathy I’ve ever felt at any point in my life, reading about the poor sodding Bizarro idiots.

  115. CivicHoliday says at 12:29 am, January 13th, 2009

    haha, Philip said ‘also’. Also.

  116. user-of-owls: Hah. Shows what you know. In this context, “slander” simply means “assfuck”. The herbal tea stuff is just to let you know to start reading in code.

  117. Boondock Saint says at 8:36 am, January 13th, 2009

    next thing ya know, you’ll be making fun of a genuine POW war HERO mavricky mavrick like sarah palin. Sheesh.

  118. red square says at 6:50 pm, January 13th, 2009

    Oh and yes, Gary Graham and several present and former Marines are close, personal, friends of mine.

    This would look good on a cover of “Gary Graham: Sealed Butts”.

    And, yes, trucknutz.

  119. That Philip Maurice Hayes…what a joker!

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