Wonkette
WAR ON LIBTARDS: Good jesus, is this what goes on with the comments, on the liberal blogs? Must we TAKE BACK our 2nd Place Endorsement of Talking Points Memo? Looks like it! Okay, return to “crush them all.” [TPM Cafe]
GUIDED BY THE BEAUTY OF OUR WEAPONS
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Did Dame Noonington quit writing? We’re overdue for her keen insight.
Aiiieeee! The dreaded Picachu bitch-slap!
Wonkette: Bread & Circuses, for the discerning palate, in the service of GOOD.
I urge you vote for anyone but Wonkette.
You just had to fuck with us, didn’t you TPM? LOG-IN NAME CREATION IN PROGRESS.
Will the brave follow the course to victory?
Can we give our votes to Sadly No now?
I joined Wonkette to harass the PUMAs but that image is the real reason I’m here all the time.
Hey, this is a WAR BLOGGER site! Prepare to meet thy hacker.
TPM Fatwa has begun. Praise be to TruckNutz!
shortsshortsshorts: Uh oh they brought ballet slippers to shortshortshorts steel-toed Doc Marten death dance party.
Truthseeker77 needs to eat a very large bag of dicks. TPM has done some good work on distributed document digs, but overall, meh.
Crush them all, then go vote for Michelle Malkin on the conservative blog contest because her winning would just be funny.
TPM: Taking .. Pants … Mimeo …. yeah. So let’s take their pants and mimeograph them. Or something!
…pica-pica! That is all!
Monty Python, The Fish Slapping Dance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhJQp-q1Y1s
Game on
Is it weird that I think Picachu is kinda sexy?
This is my war song.
First we take Manhattan…
UNLEASH THE TRUCKNUTZ!!1
What a douche. Shit, Wonkette is in the Library of Congress for breaking the Mark Foley scandal, which I think we can all agree was the beginning of the end for Republicans.
LittlePig:
Gah! You beat me to it!!!
Obviously you share the joy that is kinderhoots/tax deductions.
I though about using a Jiggly Puff reference on the Conflatulence
thread the other day, but figured it was too obscure.
Shorts is in!
Chu?
shortsshortsshorts: Bwah! Your comment is already there, in all its glory!
Man, the intertubez really need some douching out these days.
TPM, meet Lizard People. Lizard People, DEVOUR TPM.
I’d go vote, but I can’t tear my eyes off those little hotties in the picture.
They really should know better than to mess with a WARBLOG.
I find my saddle, still warm, my sword, still moist, and yet I want more.
WARBLOGGERS HO!
Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool: Not even toe shoes, mind. Soft all around, ballet slippers for 4 year olds.
I hate all blogs equally. I only wrap my fish with the real thing.
Nim, ham hock of liberty: Just because I sleep with strangers for money doesn’t make me a whore…
Oh, WARblog. My mistake.
The aggression on Wonkette is fairly substantive lately. It’s like none of us have been laid in months or something. Regardless, IT’S FUCKING ON TPM.
Not_So_Much: Hahahaha they are accepting comments liberally. This makes them a liberal blog, apparently.
In war times one has to behave as a warrior. I have already voted in all of my co-workers computers and am now heading to other departments.
I had the notion onece to create a rasta character of Pokeyman, and call it “Pokememon”..
RAWR!
on a side note, i would encourage voting for Dlisted as best gossip blog.
TPM are the same people who think The Daily Show isn’t news because they tell jokes. They are humorless nerds. Wonkette, prepare to deploy wedgie.
I guess Josh’s side job as Bukkake Funnel Holder is starting to get to him…
Before I can even finish reading the post, Shorts has already spammed the TPM comments. Bravo, Shorts. Bravo.
Kev-O-Tron: Unless I can convince the missus to watch Wild Things or 9 1/2
Weeks or some other Confluence-endorsed cinema, I will have time, and blogs, to kill.
Oh no she didn’t. Wonkette was the avant garde in taking down Caribou Barbie before anyone else could even pronounce her name. Had it not been for the high Google ranking of Wonkette posts about the GILF and her snowbilly ways the lazy media would have just regurgitated McNasty’s talking points about her.
No, you TPM Puma wannabe, Wonkette is goddamn force to be reckoned with.
[Foghorn Leghorn] I say, I say, this means WAR, Son, WAAAAR!
Kev-O-Tron: I’ve kind of noticed that, too. Then again, I haven’t been laid in a while.
NoWireHangers: It IS kind of heartening to see his little moniker everywhere.
Love Leonard Cohen
You try to be nice and this is what you get. No doubt this is how Dick Cheney was created.
shortsshortsshorts: I’m conflicted on this one. I can’t decide whether Shorts’ comments are funnier on Wonkette or on various other blogs…
Well, Wonketteers, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies. Now look, I ain’t much of a hand at makin’ speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin’ on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin’. Heck, I reckon you wouldn’t even be human bein’s if you didn’t have some pretty strong personal feelin’s about WARBLOGGING. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin’ on you and by golly, we ain’t about to let ‘em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I’d say that you’re all in line for some important promotions and personal TruckNutz when this thing’s over with. That goes for ever’ last one of you regardless of yer race, color or yer creed.
Now let’s get this thing on the hump - we got some votin’ to do.
Judases
El Pinche:
Wonkettehu Akbar!!! Aiyeeyeeyeeyeee!!!!
fuck it. Let’s all vote for confluence for a while.
None shall survive at TPM. None.
FreshCliches: win
Kev-O-Tron: Of course we haven’t gotten laid in months. All the campaigns laid us off months ago!
Hey, did anybody notice? That truthseeker77 guy on TPM thinks he’s being picked on because he knows that Oswald didn’t kill Kennedy!
Quick! We must destroy him before he reveals the truth about Bigfoot’s birth certificate!
OMG, did you see their terms of service write up? I think I might have promised my first born child to Josh.
I suspect TPM is not good at acrostics.
It’s a Friday, my co-workers are away from their desks and TPM just declared war! I’m desk-hopping, baby!
Oh, since this is my first comment ever, BUTTSECKS!!! Hee hee. I’ve always wanted to do that.
shortsshortsshorts: Someone was actually defending Wonkette against your rudes and incendiaries. Haha. Shorts Winz on two liberal blogs.
That makes you a gay.
This is like the PUMAs whining that our GOTV efforts reigned supreme.
OH NO THIS CAN NOT STAND
I feel like I’ve been drafted against my will into a blog war. And now I’m holding an automatic weapon. Help.
BadKitty: “BUTTSECKS! I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Call me. You’ve been a bad, bad kitty and I think you need some punishment.
Stay Classy, TPM. Face it, Josh needs to get a better set of luv cuffs for his writers.
Wonkette, ma hunnies, I still double dog dare ya to defeat the batshit crazy nun over at The Anchoress, who insists “Bush was right about Gitmo.”
Vote Driftglass best individual blogger.
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-individual-blogger/
Have you seen their lame-ass videos? Josh seems to think people want to hear him talk. And watch. He could learn from PUMA documentary lady how to entertain. It’s like they want people to take them seriously. Jesus fucking christ what losers.
WendyK: OK, OK, simply move your free hand gently up and down the barrel until it discharges. Then get a towel. You could make a sandwich for bonus points, too.
Why does The Phantom Menace have its own blog anyway? That movie came out ten years ago, and it sucked!
I love each and every one of you. That is all. Carry on with you waring.
magic titty: Seriously it’s not even worth it over there. If anything, it’s just plain fucking sad.
Those guys need to smoke more grass.
Well that fizzled quickly. Bring back the PUMAtards!
All bloggers need to get laid. If there were enough sex to go around, there would be no bloggers.
Blue Gal: I hear ya on The Anchoress but just saying “Bush was right about Gitmo” isn’t enough motivation for this bunch.
Can you somehow provoke that blogger to write something mean about Wonketter’s oozing genital warts or obsession for smelly vaginas? Just trying to help.
Wow the commenters over there are B-O-R-I-N-G. The articles are OK, but I’ll fall asleep if I try to read all the crap comments. As Wonketter is responsible for at least 2-3 true laugh-out-loud-and-disturb-coworkers (LOLADC) moments a day, I’m a’ votin’.
Unleash the 4chan!
shortsshortsshorts: Damn you, shorts. You made me laugh so hard I peed my pants. Are you happy now, you sumbitch? Well, are you? Huh? Huh? Huh?
Ha! Commenters think they matter; douches.
Maus: This cannot stand, man. This kind of, um…aggression…cannot stand.
You want a toe? I can get you a toe by 3:00. With nail polish.
I dangle my [considerably large] TRUCKNUTZ in the face of TPM. This what a sack looks like, libtard bitches! Sack up, Wonkette! To battle!
FreshCliches: Excellent. How foolish are the TPM people? Why not just put a bowl of dee-lishus chocolate dipped, peanut butter topped Ritz crackers in the middle of the wonkerrati and admonish, now children–each take just one.
(which reminds me, I think I have a couple of my the cookies my friend made for me left. See ya’, losers.)
They don’t have much of a sense of humor at TPM, do they? Maybe they’re PUMAs after all.
And in related news: Jesus’ General is ahead of BitchPhD by only four votes. Get to work, people.
Jukesgrrl: In a biblically appropriate and heterosexual manner, of course.
Anonymous Office Zombie: I know it breaks my heart. TPM has comforted me during the election, but the TRUCKNUTZ first.
I have to say TPM is a soulless robot compared to the humorless whiners at Crooks&Liars.
ARRGGH!
TPM slagging Wonkette in a bid for attention is akin to Spitzer demanding that he be paid for giving out buttsecs. Josh Marshall in nothing but calf-high socks, for the win.
El Pinche: Remeber, no “Ann Coulter is a man” jokes at C&L.
If another librul site has a bigger crowd of humorless, clueless, self-important commenters than TPM, I’ve yet to find it. When I’m bored I toss a grenade in just to watch the resulting ill-informed wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Leave comments, take the cannolis.
Jukesgrrl: But get to work for which one? We’re good at being programmed to destroy, but you have to set the coordinates.
Joshua Micha Marshall, TPM is the only other blog in this category I would have voted for if Wonkette wasn’t there. I DEMAND YOU DENOUCE AND REJECT “TRUTHSEEKER77″ & please tell me that’s a Puma of some variety.
Wonkette! I choose you! Sic the bastards!
Here’s another plea for the Wonkette Army to vote Pharyngula for Best Science Blog. Insane anti-science global-warming denier site Watts Up with That still leads, undoubtedly due to widespread freeper IP address tweaking.
Pharyngula: “Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal.”
Wait… Based on the timing I deduce that the titular graphics is from the anime music video dealie for Bitches by Mindless Self Indulgence!
Bitches love cause the know that I can rock!
BadKitty: First comment, ever? I must warn you: One of these losers might call you something really, really awful and disgusting, but it’s only a test. When you get used to this place, it can become addicting. But not like addicted to running, or anything that’s vaguely good for you.
The aforementioned video at about 1:54 in.
Also, that “Fuck You, Penguin” blog is gold. PURE FUCKING GOLD.
The username “Truthseeker77″ is a total bonerkiller just by itself. You mean there were 76 other libtards pretentious enough to pick that name before you did and you STILL went with it?
Deepthroat: Oh absolutely - love Michael K!!!!!
Tommy Says Ira G is a Tool: No shit. I didn’t read all that crap I had to agree to for TPM, of course, anymore than I read the fine print on my mortgage. (Turns to whisper to husband, “Hide, honey. The process server is back).
Barrett808: “…a godless liberal.” You’re playing our song.
Let’s distinguish between TPM and the individual douchey diaries by people like Buttseckseeker77.
Oh fuck it, let’s not. TRUCKNUTZ WAR IS ON BITCHES. TPM knoweth not who they fucketh with. Also.
paging Norbizness.
Cicada: There is a significant chance that 77 refers to his/her/its birth year. Which suggests that conception took place during the bicentennial year and for those of you who don’t remember the world draped, soaked and spattered in red, white and blue, that explains everything.
Campbell-on-CNN is posting at TPM Cafe. I am crushed.
PsycGirl: Ah. If that’s the case, then I have more respect for TPM’s commenters. In the meantime, I plan on grabbing the username “BringerOfLight101″ before it gets snapped up by someone else.
TPM declaring war on Wonkette is kinda like reliving my parents’ divorce battle all over again: I love each of them for very different reasons.
But, in the end, Truck Nutz and buttsechs has to win every time.
Sorry, JMM/TPM, but Mommy Wonkette wins.
All that TPM has done is awaken our giant Queen Death Alligator and her entire nest of warblogging minions.
Kev-O-Tron: Have you forgotten the sweet sex-fluid slatherings of Election Night already? Sara K. Smith assured us that it was so.
Kev-O-Tron: My wife had surgery last month, so you’re hittin’ a little close to home. Won’t bore everyone with details, but she ain’t havin’ no more kittens.
FreshCliches: In the immortal words of the future Senator Blutrasky, Let’s DO IT!
I totally think we should vote for Glen Greenwald’s blog for second choice. He is humourless, sanctimonious and annoys the hell out of me but he covers an important issue and he does speak truth to power.
The TPM thread is full of win. Well played!
Given that Kitteh Pidgin has completely insinuated itself into the Wonkette multi-mind, how can it be that I Can Has Cheezburger is a distant second to PUMA fave, Fuck You, Penguin?
We must sally forth and remedy this outrage: http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-pet-blog/.
Buttsechs away!
There is only going to be one speed. Wonkette speed. I you can’t keep up, don’t step up.
HEHE P-sludge said “mimeograph”!!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
WIDTAP: Had to happen sometime.
oh gollies, new web addiction fodder! FANKS, Weblog Awards, for introducing me to http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/2008/12/red-panda-trying-to-steal-panda-thunder.html !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
I fired up all the library’s computers and voted for Wonkette on each and every one. Hell, I may even go in tomorrow, which is a Saturday, and do it again.
Hey! Who’s the dumb-dumb that said Larry Craig wanted buttsecks in that airport shitter? Please tell me that it wasn’t one of you, cause we all know that Mssr. Craig did not want gay buttsecks, he just wanted to blow some guy. I hate it when the ill-informed try to make him out to be some kinda fag or sumthin.
sanantonerose:
You go girl!!
to ‘truthseeker77′, we have only one thing to say:
Say Hello to my little friend!
Is this gonna be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt?