Wonkette
IT’S MURPHY!: “The Beast of Exmoor is a black big cat, a puma or panther maybe, believed by some to have eaten sheep and farm animals in the 1970s and into 1983, when 100 sheep were ‘mauled or killed,’ accoding to the Daily Mail.” [Gawker]
HELL DEMONS
This is utterly off-topic, but I have to tell Dogless Liberal that I made the cranberry bread pudding for which she provided a recipe last T-giving and it was insanely delicious. Thanks from my now much doughier family!
/OT
Accoding?
…geez, Ann Coulter has really let herself go!
…and now, due to the pressures of natural selection, today’s PUMA-like creatures are only able to gum away on cheesecake.
I love this crytozoology shit… hope there’s lots in 2009
The Beast of Exmoor refers to Murphy’s second husband who left her, Warren Sapp, who, despite his name, never mentions this indiscretion in his biography.
Surfers finding rotting corpses on the beach is almost as good as Argentinian kids filming creepy gnomes with their cell phones.
That’s almost as sexy as the real Murphy:
http://www.noquarterusa.net/blog/2008/06/25/pumas-darragh-murphy-today-on-fox-friends/
Be warned, she’s stupider than we even thought.
Keep it up, funny man….keep it up.
We’ll see who’s laughing after his 48th consecutive Pig of the Day award.
Kev-O-Tron:
Comment by PaganPower | 2008-06-25 10:11:30
Great interview and great video. I still prefer Party Unity My Ass. But whatever. Hear us roar!
NOBODY CAN HEAR YOU ROAR, ASSHAT.
Kev-O-Tron: “That’s almost as sexy as the real Murphy:”
Best comment from that link:
“I guess her appearance on FOXNEWS blows the theory that we’re just a bunch of demented old ladies.
GO PUMA!
GO MCCAIN!”
Yes, it certainly does blow that theory.
Kev-O-Tron: “The kitten who must not be named” apparently doesn’t realize that most of Obama’s administration will be Clinton retreads who Goddess Hillary would have chosen had she one. Do they even know she’ll be in the cabinet?
Kev-O-Tron: I love how that blog has a link to buy “Twilight”
Jim - you really didn’t need to speculate whether or not that thing was a puma. This would have turned into a PUMA thread regardless. Have a little faith in your adoring throng. It is well trained.
We are going to be sorry when the Pumas going to combine to form Voltron.
Kev-O-Tron: OMG, what the hell happened to Larry Johnson? I thought he was sensible, but now he’s a PUMA and he’s dressing like Corky St. Clair?
If this is what it takes for the Daily Mail to stop screeching and moaning about their “arctic” weather — 25 degrees F — then it’s a good thing.
MisterLoki: But they ain’t got no black lion!
Don’t forget to keep voting Wonktards! TPM is sort-of catching up.
It looks like it smells like a PUMA as well…ew, i feel soiled..
Where is Werner Herzog when you need him?
Rodney Badger: PUMApac is losing this flamewar in a spectacular fashion. Here’s something else interesting I found. I obviously can’t verify whether this blogger is onto something but it’s kind of a funny post.
http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/pumas_are_swiftboats_darragh_murphy/
PUMA = chupacabra
That carcass has more teeth than all the pumas combined.
Looks like chupacabra to me.
shortsshortsshorts: Crazy….
Comment by sowsear | 2008-06-25 10:14:27
Does anyone else remember a few months back reading some posts supposedly by a person whose family grew up in Kenya and knew BO’s family (Possibly/Probably on TM). He/She said that shortly before BO’s birth, his parents were in Kenya and his mother came to full term there; they were denied passage on a flight home, and the baby was born in Africa. Immediately after his birth, the family left for Hawaii and his birth was registered when they arrived back there. Aside from that possiblility, someone else has said that in Hawaii at the time of his birth, both parents had to be citizens in order for the child to be considered a citizen. Could that be true?
Isn’t “Beast of Exmore” a Spinal-Tap album?
MisterLoki: They’ll end up being more like that lame car-Voltron that came later.
Kev-O-Tron: It would make more sense that veiled Muslim women are actually the ones behind this business. Part of the cyberwar to create dissention and throw the suspicion on a group of people who have no friends, no accomplishments, and no real impact on any aspect of modern life.
But it’s more likely they’re just idiots.
From the video clip:
“The Democratic Party only wins when it represents the full coalition of Democrats.”
BWAAAAAAAAAA - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!eleventy!!!1!!!
Thus, we can conclude that the full coalition of Democrats was represented.
magic titty: IS THERE SOMETHING THIS “SHADOW GOVERNMENT” WONT DO??/?>?
Giant Robot: That gnome seriously gave me nightmares. Any updates on that? These are the pressing issues of our times!
Nim, ham hock of liberty: You should get some thicker skin, or at least realize that a puma is a type of large cat.
magic titty: And somehow by that logic McCain isnt Panamanian.
if the chupacabra puma washed ashore, surely barry’s birth certificate will wash up as well!
magic titty:
No, if one of your parents is a citizen, you’re in.
Kev-O-Tron: Stupid yes, but I’d still hit that.
Giant Robot: Update: http://urbanlegends.about.com/b/2008/10/18/return-of-the-creepy-gnome.htm
I’m such a retard.
100 sheep and one monster. Yep, that pretty much describes puma.
Am I the only one who looks at that pic and thinks that the arm of Señor Wences washed ashore?
Kev-O-Tron: I remember seeing that during the campaign. Yeah, she’s as dumb as dirt. But she was right about Obama not being a good candidate in the general election, and the DNC did cost him Michigan and Florida…
Oh wait…
After some exhaustive Lexis-Nexis research, I have pieced together the following history of PUMA as a modern political movement. Originally an acronym for People United for More Ambrosia, it was a group of menopausal and peri-menopausal women who in summer 2007 picketed the Country Buffet in Tyson’s Corner, VA. Their complaint was that not enough of the marshmallow-creme-based fruit salad was supplied in the salad bars, a situation which led to several altercations and one arrest during the early bird buffet. They believed the raw vegetables which were alloted more space on the salad bar were “disgusting,” “personally offensive,” “ageist,” and “a slap in the face to womyn everywhere.” This especially was true of the brocolli, which was named for a man. After successfully shuttering the restaurant, they moved on to other causes in the metro DC area, including the closing of Large Marge’s House of Plus Size Fashions (understanding business cycles less well than, say, menstrual ones). Later, in May of 2008 some of them realized there was a presidential election going on, and that Hillary was being beaten by what one of their leaders called “an inadequate black male” (using the prefered nominal form rather than the correct adjectival form of the word, in common with cops and DMV employees). When Hillary was defeated, they switched to McCain, who rewarded them with Sarah Palin. Not the least concerned about actual issues (let those Wasillans pay for their own rape kits!), they sided with her because she has a vajayjay, plus they saw her on The View. After the scary black man won, many of them have moved to rural compounds in Texas and Idaho, where they are hoarding cheese whiz, Diet Cherry Coke, and Monistat, while cat farming, watching daytime television, and learning to use computers (especially those pesky pdf thingies). They have even launched an amateurish blog called The Effluence.
I can has piggie awardz now plz?
loudmouthredhead: Brilliant observation.
IZ ON UR FARM, EETN UR SHEEPS N BARFIN WOOLBLS
shanemacgowan: It should be. Man I wish they’d do another ‘reunion’ tour. Wait a second, this isn’t Idolator. Sorry.
Meaux: PUMAS are boring, already. Where is this recipe?
Dildo Baggins:
Specifically, Monistat 365, for they are perpetual yogurt generators. This is the cause of much of their crankiness.
Hey, this was on Monsterquest a few months back!
TGY: Is that where the phrase Wooly Bully comes from?
justlen: The market demands a product that combines Monistat and psychoactive medications, possibly Prozac and/or Thorazine.
PsycGirl: Thorazine
So they drool out BOTH ends?
13 years to eat 100 sheep. No wonder it shrunk to skeletal remains. Cats are indeed the stupidest animals ever devised by the laws of nature.
slithytoves: Dig it: recipe de Liberal Sans Dog . Wait, did that work?
Meaux: Thank you!
Jim, Jim, Jim… my saucy, sexy Ginge; LOVE the pic of the Murphy PUMA Cat from Hell. Too bad this photo wasn’t discovered in time for ol’ Murph to use on her Holiday Greeting Cards. ‘Cause nothin’ says HAPPY HOLIDAYS like a washed up PUMA.
justlen: yeah, but they don’t really care. Whatever.
ValleyDoll: oh, I thought it was darrghghgle herself, left to rot after she fused to her sofa and yelling something about “chimping out”
Dildo Baggins: Epic Win!
Dildo Baggins: Perhaps shorts could hijack the Wikipedia and get this posted there. I’m sure the PUMAs would be thrilled to read about their history.
PUMAs don’t reproduce. They are excavated and dusted off.
AWOcoholic: “PUMAs don’t reproduce. They are excavated and dusted off.”
Like the Paultards before them, they only devour “sheeple”.
justlen: Wait a second, isn’t 365 the number of electoral votes NOBAMA won? Do they realize they’re using Half-breed Muslin Monistat?!!
Dildo Baggins: They would use a pressure washer if it would give them some sweet, sweet relief.
I’m so sick of these boring cryptid monsters. A big black cat. Yeah, wow. Exciting. I want us to discover a giant octopus or a moth man or something, and then I want a redneck to kill it and bury it.
The creature in the pic is less desiccated than the actual Murphy.
Maus: “Sheeple” makes me really nostalgic for the crazy-eyed chick from last year. These PUMAs don’t hold a candle to the Paultards, who were generally both more entertaining and attractive.
Zoinks, I still look better than Jim Newell..
MurphyPUMA: I must agree with you there–Jim does look a bit like an English choirboy whose voice is (maybe) changing. But he’s a funny, funny guy!
I’m more than content to not know what Murphy actually looks like. After the terrible mess that was JenniForHilary, I’m not sure I could take it.
Seriously, though, that Jenni thing… She looks like she swallowed the Death Star and it disagreed with her… Which is pretty funny, when you consider that both of them are tools used by fascists. You’d expect her to find it most agreeable.
Weak, Murphy.
You never were very good at this.
Dead SEALS….
Dead SEALS…
Dead seals…aren’t much fun
They don’t bark, much at all
They never balance a bouncy ball
Dead seals, aren’t, much, fun.
My seal died, late last fall
He’s still rotting, in the hall
Dead seals aren’t much fun.
Dead SEALS…
De-ea-ead SEALS…
Dead Seals, Aren’t, Much, Fun.
Dildo Baggins: Hell, I’m not even gay, and that gave me a boner. Mmm, English choirboy.
Deepthroat: Didn’t mean to leave you hanging. The bosshole was around all afternoon - on a Friday!! I have bad dreams about the gnome all the time and I’m thousands of miles from Argentina.
Giant Robot: You think it matters where you are? Yeah, like, the gnome is small so that makes long distance travel hard, but it also makes sneaking easy as shit and since you think about him so much (gnomes have like a lateral line under their nose or whatever that detects thoughts about themselves), one of these days you’re gonna be taking a crap or whatever you do on the toilet and that little red cap is gonna rise up between your knees and take a bite out of whatever you’re putting on display like it’s a delicious Keebler fudge shoppe cookie.
Please liveblog this.
Dead Puma! Pictures at Now: http://www.duckhuntingchat.com/viewtopic.php?t=71436