Wonkette
- NEWLY UNEMPLOYED ALAN COLMES READS LIBERAL BLOGS ALL DAY: Holy crap this is better than getting Drudged! Hello Alan! Many happy returns and best of luck finding a nubile young corpse to inhabit. [Liberaland]
HOW WE ARE FAMOUS
Alright, which one of us clowns is Alan Combs, fess up, I’m lookin’ at you Shorts….
I love how the first comment on his post was from one of us. Yay Gopherit!
freakishlystrong: We are all Alan Colmes.
freakishlystrong: hahahaha. Someone snarkier than I. No matter where this pair of shorts goes it’s usually a variation of “shorts” or “pants” or some other retarded handle related to clothing that nobody can afford anymore.
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: Speak for yourself. I have much better hair than Alan Colmes (though I am also basically unemployed).
So tonight is the night Alan removes Hannity’s intestines through his mouth?
I might watch that.
The unfortunate Alan Colmes search for a new host (as in nubile body) will take…
Five and a 1/2 Years!
You only become Alan Colmes if he bites you, sucks your blood, and then lets you suck his blood as well. Duh.
Why don’t all the Wonketters leave dear Alan their goodbye wishes?
How did the weblogs awards miss Liberaland?
Did we break Alan Colmes’ website? I just tried to comment and it wouldn’t let me.
I just want to know if Sean Hannity has TRUCK NUTZ on his 8-passenger SUV
Car Ramrod: I really hope COuther is on tonight. If Alan tells her to go make him a pot pie, he’ll be my hero forever.
Sara, maybe he’ll read your post on the air and you’ll be (even more) famous! And then maybe he’ll read my comment on the air too because it was my idea and I’ll be famous! … among Fox viewers. Never mind.
In the spirit of an old roman-themed movie:
I’m Alan Colmes!
Dramatist: I’d have to bite him somewhere in there too right?
I am interested in seeing where Mr. Colmes ends up. I would like to see a show where he yells at a republican of somewhat smaller stature. Or maybe they can give him a segment on the Colbert Report.
Terry: For reasons I cannot explain, I have had a change of heart on our Dear Friend Alan Colmes. Let’s make him a cheese cake and then he can be PIG FOR A DAY. TODAY’S PIG. FOR FIVE AND A HALF YEARS.
This is a liberal blog?
You know, I don’t give a toss about Alan Colmes. But IMHO the PUMAs have brought out the best in most. Sara(h) has been hot and today is topnotch.
I think this has done the equivalent of popping an amyl nitrate for dear shortshortshorts who leads a great pack, prolly with Lionel Hutz not far behind. I am forgetting many because you are all doing well. It’s like a Special Olympics/PUMA blog where everyone wins but here it’s worth winning.
Ken and Jim, et al, take a non-Blago behind you bow…and it’s legit ’cause we’d piss on you if you stank. Good on yer all.
And if you think I’m going soft, I just thought I’d store up the pennies before I piss someone off soon. So eff you libtards.
Nom nom nom.
Nigerian Business Executive: But you’re already so famous in the world’s inboxes! Oh, wait…
Good for Alan. I hope Fox gives him his soul & spine back on his way out the door.
I like that the commentors there seemed to get the joke. I only read like 2 comments tho.
freakishlystrong: MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: shortsshortsshorts: …in tribute to the movie Spartacus: I’m Alan Combs!
Harry Reid would have been perfect for Colmes’ old gig.
loudmouthredhead: …damn it, that will teach me to read through the thread b-4 commenting! Beat me to it!
Terry: Good idea. He definately takes himself far less seriously than your average PUMA.
AngryBlakGuy: You have graduated to awesometown status, AngryBlakGuy.
It’s probably more that he has a Google Alert for his name, not that he uses Wonkette as his primary news source, like I do.
Alan Colmes attended Hofstra University at the same time that Norm Coleman was the student body president there.
I wish I was smart enough to make some “Skull and Bones” comment, but, God help me, I’m just not very smart.
Oo! Oo!
Sean Hannity vs. Rosie O’Donnell!
Awww, he’s so cute. Not as cute as the three-legged puppy Hopey was holding in that melt-my-heart photo, but we can’t all be three-legged puppies.
How did Alan Colmes manage to get fired so he could blog all day? And how much unemployment is he earning?
I ask only because I work for a crappy company, just like Alan used to, and I want to get out of here to play on the internet all day, just like Alan did.
So what’s the secret, Alan? Drop me a line at buttondownmind26@yahoo.com, because I want to know. Seriously.
AngryBlakGuy: Ah, but you managed to get teh bowld font. Kudos.
loudmouthredhead: I have no idea what you’re trying to imply.
On an unrelated note, your most exalted and Majesterial Self has been selected by a committee of the Highest Ranking CEOs in the world as a person of magnificent humanitarian BENEVOLENCE to aid an abused, victimized widow on the verge of Death’s Doorstep. I, my humble and worthless self, have ben AUTHORIZED to divulge that a sizable sum of American Dollars (US$) may now be …
Ah fuck it.
ella: But on the show Alan was like a neutered puppy. Wait, that’s not as cute a thought.
Would it be wrong to feed AC some steroids for about year, then release him in the FAUX studios and let him go all HULK SMASH in there? Can someone give me a ruling on this?
…oh look the Israelis are bombing shyt out of Gaza again! Who would have figured?
hockeymom: Didn’t you get the memo? We’re fauxgressive!
What I like about this is that it’s the first image that comes up in a Google Image saerch.
http://celebrityapes.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/alan-colmes.jpg
This is someone from FOX, right?
Alan supported Hillary but didn’t become a PUMA. Alan needs to teach those PUMAs a lesson!
AngryBlakGuy: Best. Reality show. Ever.
shortsshortsshorts: When wil JtP buy his farm tho. Or is Jesus keeping him safe?
shortsshortsshorts: …5 bucks says they have awesome “hate sex” next season!
AngryBlakGuy: I think it got moderated and I think that’s racist. What did you type Angry?
Alan, Congratulations, tell me who to vote for in those Weblog awards, and you get 1 day of my voting power (and I have 4 computers at my immediate disposal).
The Rev. Yevot: there seem to be a plethora of Wonketteers commenting! We will take over the world and make sure there is a TruckNutz in every pot. Or something.
AngryBlakGuy: It’s not a Gaza conflict, unless some UN compounds get blowed up good.
Alan, we appreciate the way you personally got Hopey elected, but this may not be a good place for you. Wonketeers tend to be liberal and snarky in their politics. Your Fox paychecks taint you.
Kev-O-Tron: …huh?
Gopherit: Held up in the West Bank, where everything is PROSPEROUS.
toastandlove: Maybe it was the PUMAs and their Perl haxor who brought it down. They sensed happiness and gratitude and wanted to take a shit on it.
Maybe Colmes will write a juicy, disgruntled tell-all book about the innards of FoxNews and all of the joyful sprites like Hannity and Doochey. I’d spend my stimulus on that shit.
I think it took a lot of nerve (or lack of self esteem) to continually go into that Rupert Murdochian hell, no matter how much it paid. Like Eleanor Clift going on the McLaughlin Group. Come to think of it Alan & Eleanor look pretty similar so nerve may have its limits.
If only he did not look like ET
http://l.yimg.com/img.movies.yahoo.com/ymv/us/img/hv/photo/movie_pix/universal_pictures/e_t__the_extra_terrestrial/et2.jpg
Wait, if Alan is an alien inhabiting people’s corpses, can he also tune? I wonder if Mr. Book knows about him…
loudmouthredhead: No, but more accurate.
I’m Alan Colmes!I’m holding myself back from commenting on Alan’s commenters in this comment section, much as I held back from commenting there on these comments by Wonkette commenters. Maybe if it were earlier in the week, but I’m just incapable.