Wonkette
Idaho bathroom goblin Larry Craig is out of the Senate and (sort of) out of the closet. The notorious homosexual Republican will no longer fight his conviction for “disorderly conduct” in a Minneapolis airport men’s room, where he was cruising a notorious “cruisy toilet” for gay bathroom sex with a man, who turned out to be an on-duty cop conducting a “sting operation against men cruising for gay sex.”
Craig, who has regularly denied his homosexuality for his entire three decades in Washington, had been stubbornly fighting his own admission of guilt since his arrest and conviction went public way back in 2007.
His latest appeal was denied, and the deadline to appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court has finally passed, so it’s done, Larry Craig sucks cocks in bathrooms, the end.
Former Idaho Sen. Craig dropping further appeals [AP]
Cock, drop, and roll!
He’s not gay, he’s big boned.
Let’s be fair. At least try to feed his denial. Sweeties been through a lot, you know?
Well, you can mock but you’ll never take away his lapel pin…
He can’t be gay — he’s wearing a flag pin!
…coming to a restroom near you!
SO– does this mean he’s the new head of the RNC?
“Now if you will excuse me, I’ve got to take a piss. Would any of you care to join me?”
Now now, who amongst us hasn’t had a moment of “What was I saying?” while sucking a cock or two?
I think with some sophisticated 3-D modeling software we could take that front and profile shot of Craig and create a lifelike 3-D computer simulation of him… sucking cock in a bathroom.
At his age, I can’t imagine why he would have any interest in any kind of sex.
I know I don’t anymore….
Can we get a Movie of the Week of this ish? Fred Thompson could play Larry Craig. It’ll be a toe-tappin’ good time!
AngryBlakGuy: I think you mean “in.”
AngryBlakGuy: I think you mean cuming. Really, ABG, I’m surprised. Is everything okay with you?
Maybe the old lady threatened to go public with what SHE could tell if he wasted one more dime on lawyers…?
Guppy06: Ah! Fantastic jinx!
SayItWithWookies: I think the flag pin is meant to signify that he’s having his cock sucked FOR America.
That song by Manitou?
That look in old Larry’s eye
Look of longing, yeah he’s wanting to belong
Singing the old songs, we’d sing them all night long
Brothers of a different color, it’s alright to me
Brothers of a different mother, it’s alright you see
Brothers and sisters come and dance with me
Brothers and sisters come dance and sing
Free at last
Free at last
Larry’s free at last
(DISCLAIMER: LYRICS HAVE BEEN FUCKED WITH TOO MUCH TO BE PLAGIARISM.)
I bet his wife looks at their strap-on collection a little differently now.
Guppy06: NoWireHangers: …sorry guys but I forgot the flask at home today. When I go on lunch break I will hit the liquor store for a re-up.
loquaciousmusic: Larry-Boy: I am that hero!
My prediction: Within two years he’ll be out wearing chaps at a Gay Pride parade now that he doesn’t have to pretend to be a senator anymore.
Thegreatbacon:
She understands now why she was always made to wear a Richard Nixon Halloween mask while they had sex.
The Scale Of Justice: Ribbed For His Pleasure.
If you’re Larry Craig, just about all you can say to save face is “you shoulda seen the OTHER guy!”
I, for one, admire Sen. Craig’s strong, new, wide stance.
Apparently, he is going to spend his time now running a consulting business. I will leave the speculations and hysterical comments to you.
The GOP isn’t going to take this one to the Supreme Court? They need to grow some -balls- trucknutz.
Serolf Divad:
Don’t you think since he was a high falutin’ Senator that the other guy might be on his knees instead?
I’m getting scared that all our favorite blowjobby republicans are going off to pasture, and we won’t have anyone to count on, come October. Hahaha. Come.
Thank goodness that poor misunderstood Larryboy no longer has to tap his toes in coded messages that were sometimes misunderstood. He can now just proudly yell, “Who in here wants their cock sucked?” Good for him.
I can’t believe this happened, I planned to use that wide-stance thing in my defense on various occasions. You’ve robbed me Larry.
Anyway, I’ll be on KL069 arriving MSP from Islamabad via Amsterdam at 15:39 on the 23rd. Gate 23 anyone?
This is pretty terrible news. It means we’ll only have David “Diaperman” Vitter to reflexively ridicule when wanting to lay into (he he) the perverts of the GOP.
Maybe Chimpy will give Duke Cunningham a pardon. He was apparently straight enough that Porter Goss bought him hookers, but he never changed the water in the hot tub on his boat, the Duke-stir. That’s pervy enough for me. Plus there was all that gay French furniture he bought for his “wife.”
Free the Duke! He’s a political prisoner!
Is anyone else wondering why Minneapolis decided to combat the war on terror by assigning cops to the bathroom? $100k a year men loitering in airport johns makes sense because?
And now poor John Prine (a figure of speech) will have to write, “Your flag decal won’t get you any in the bathroom any more.”
I just wanted to voice my appreciation for the phrase “Larry Craig sucks cocks in bathrooms, the end.”
Thegreatbacon: ASSLESS chaps…
NoWireHangers: Great casting! Fred Thompson would be much more believable as a hypocritical blowhard [hehehe] ‘publican senator than as a New York City district attorney. Maybe they could get Thompson’s real wife to play Mrs. Craig.
Two things:
First, everyone KNOWS that you are only GAY if you look down.
Second, all the RNC-sponsored blow-jobbery is going to be in Florida during the innauguration as that is where they are all going since all of the good ass is going celebrating the innauguration of their worst nightmare here in DC.
Serolf Divad: I think she sticks the strap-on through the mouth hole in the Richard Nixon mask. His desires are very complicated.
Thinking of Larry Craig as any sort of “sexual” makes my penis sad.
Former Idaho Sen. Craig dropping further appeals
And his pants.
MathewBrooks: If he wore assless chaps, he’s cover his ass with a nixon mask because — as I’ve said before — his desires are very complicated.
@Terry: the other guy might be on his knees instead?
Nah, dudes like Craig are total bottoms in their filthy secret lives.
V572625694: I’ll bet old Larry would do ANYTHING to get Bush to issue him a pardon on this one.
The only thing left for him to do now is embrace his gayness and fight for civil rights for everyone. If he chooses the proper costume and earnestly battles evil, he’ll be awash in dicks.
This will just kill Harvey Milk.
I’ve hear that you can only contact “the Lizard People of Minnesota” by tapping your foot in the airport men’s bathroom.
Tommy Says Soooo: What, too soon?
Sure.
Now he’ll just move to Florida like all the other old out of work, frosbitten cocksuckers.
May I suggest Titusville?
Or maybe Kissimmee.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: it makes my vagina cry.
not in a good way, though.
Idaho Bathroom Goblin Larry Craig is the ying to the Filthy Cock Jackal Eliot Spitzer’s yang.
Oh what so know if you, one time, attempt to suck cok in an airport mens room you’re gay like Bruce Vilanch all of a sudden? I’ll tell you this country is going to hell.
correction: “I’ve heard…”
AngryBlakGuy: Going to get a flask on your lunch hour, ABG? I thought you were one of the ever-expanding jobless demographic — please accept congratulations/commiseration…
In the army, they teach the wide stance as a protective measure against incoming dicks. If I were him, this is the defence I would have used.
I think that’s the coolest police sting operation I’ve ever heard of. Leave no man behind boys.
Correction: “defense” I should really re-read before I post.
Serolf Divad: “I think with some sophisticated 3-D modeling software we could take that front and profile shot of Craig and create a lifelike 3-D computer simulation of him… sucking cock in a bathroom.”
Show us some mercy. I beg this of you.
None of you have any respect for the glory hole.
TeddyKGB: It rolls off the tongue, like “admitted cocksucker, Larry Craig.”
One thing I never got about this was why Larry Craig was arrested in the first place. OK, so the guy was a cop, but the cop was there running a sting on people looking for anonymous gay hookups. Are anonymous gay hookups a crime in Idaho?
He’d like to turn over a new page.
LC is low hanging fruit. You people are all fruit flies. When a she-man comes out of the closet, there is supposed to be a common feeling of joyous liberation. Everybody (with feeling!): “Don we now, our gay apparel, fa la la la la la, Larry Craig.”
Chief Grinning Eagle: WIN.
Godot: blowing cops in public is a crime everywhere except Iraq I think
As we say down south, when yer dead, lay down.
Cocks or no, the most important thing is that he’s wearing a FLAG PIN!!! You commies…
Colander: Oh, was it because he wanted to have sex in the bathroom? I guess that explains it.
Godot: It was Minneapolis. And yes.
Colander: Chinless orange tart Charlie Crist is still Florida’s governor. I know he hasn’t been arrested for any toilet-related bum-funnery yet, but surely we can live in hope?
Godot: It seemed like all Craig could be proved guilty of was stupidity. If he had just shut up and showed up in court, what could they prove? That he was playing footsie with his stall neighbor? Probably not a crime, even in Idaho.
Godot: This isn’t about the gayz, its about the terrirists. Gayz, you see, through their perverted practices are used to putting things in their body that god didn’t intend them to. Therefore, the gayz are the most likely ones to smuggle the bombz on the planes, increasing the terrst level from Yellow to Orange. Also, in Arab culture, only the receiver is a gayz.
If you have a wide stance you might be trying to get out the bombz and the other gayz might light the bombz. Therefore lock up Larry Craig.
Truly, this is the end of an era. Larry Craig, I salute you, but not in teh gay way.
Who is Lindsay Graham going to be not gay with now in the Senate?
Jollity: I think the sex scandal is going to come from MRS. Charlie Crist, who will need revenge when she tires of not getting any.
Looking forward to his Oprah appearance in which he admits all, cries, and jumps on the couch, joyous in the revelation that being gay is a gift from God! Coincidentally with the announcement of his new book!
Kev-O-Tron: Leave no man’s behind?
Jizz lips can’t keep using the excuse that he just needs chapstick! It’s too much pressure of the non buttsecks kind. Now he can just wear his milk mustache freely without scrutiny. Sheesh! Folks needs to stop all the discrminHATIN! Keep on tappin - you little fairy Craig!
He should hire Kathy Griffin to follow him around and “slap the dicks” out of his mouth.
Serolf Divad: It could be Idaho’s statue of the most famous Idaho-an, in the capitol!
Zhu Bajie
Woodwards Friend: Maybe he should’ve gone down to the Greyhound depot.
Zhu Bajie
Thing is with the trucknutz is the missed opportunity for celebrity endorsements… I understand there’s a distinguished gentleman from Idaho with some time, and nut cred. Expanding to truck chaps? assless of course.
Tis obvious most,
to me, you see,
That now Mr. Craig
can tap ass without pee!