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Congrats to Roland Burris, who’s set to become the first African-American officeholder of any kind in our nation’s history. Harry “Jefferson Davis” Reid vowed to stop any black man from having a job on his watch, but Burris stared him down for ~3 seconds until Reid folded, which he does all the time, because he’s a pussy. Burris then gave another one of his fun press conferences!
He plays the bigger man by defending his oppressor, Harry Reid, and then brags about all the e-mails his friends sent to Gov. Blago urging him to pick Burris. “They were doing it from all over the country,” he explains, before interrupting a reporter by asking some buddy from Jersey in the audience to describe the e-mails he sent to Gov. Blago.
[MSNBC]
Danny Davis won the Brass Balls/Plutonium Taint award for the day, though, for telling the nice people on NPR that Blago had offered him the job first, but he had sent them away and told them to ask Roland.
Harry Reid would roll over faster than a three-legged rescue puppy — but he doesn’t want to get on the puppy’s bad side.
Why can’t anyone say the obvious? THIS GUY CAN’T HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE MUCH LESS WIN AN ELECTION.
Harry Reid should have appointed Stonewall Jackson to the Senate instead. DUH.
I’m still pissed this guy beat my bribe for the slot. I know I have a face only a hillary could pretend to love, but fuck, I did duke blago enough to fund a couple private islands and a dozen and a half underage Rush Limbaugh sex slaves from assorted Carribean nations.
Roland Burris may have forgiven him but I’ll never forget that Harry Reid tried to lynch a black man right in the middle of the Senate chamber.
Harry Reid looks like he’s composed of oatmeal and Elmer’s Glue. What a hapless douch. A four year-old could outwit that loser.
E-mails?
“me8 me a8 benz chili bowl, blago.”
Burris, congrats for stepping into the vacuum and grabbing the brass ring. Seriously, brother, the yattering heads were all unanimously declaring that you would never be seated, yet you strolled right in with a smile.
Well fuckin’ played. Enjoy!
Harry Reid used to be a boxer. Harry Reid is a tough customer. Harry Reid would apologize for seizing Nevada from the Pueblo Indians if asked politely by a child.
Scandalabra: Make that a two year-old. The older child would quickly get bored and move on to something more challenging, like saying ‘booger.’
It is a good thing that the Dems have such a huge majority in the Senate. That way, when Reid folds to the Republicans the first time they say anything it will not be that hard for the other Dems to get him off his knees, wipe the excess jizz and spittle from his face and then kick his pussy ass out of the leadership.
“…very kind to me and my staff…”. Typical black dude, always making with the self-references to his junk.
Reid knows better than to go against God’s Will.
XOMuffintop: Dang, mister. That is my kind of political commentary.
Burris is like a black Jesus, who was also black, but shinier.
I did not see why Burris had to refer to Sen. Reid as Macaca though.
“This pasty white cracker-ass honky motherfucker is racist!”
Harry Reid abides.
Harry to Blago: “OK, you got your pick. Now where’s my fucking money?”
Reid and Pelosi should yield their leadership posts to just about anyone else.
If anyone’s going to ruin the Democrats in the 111th Congress, it’s these guys.
Ugh.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: But if he’s planning on doing the resurrection gig, why’d he drop all that coin on his granite resume? Oh, I see. So he’ll have somewhere to chisel, “First African-American Jesus in Matte (not Glossy).”
I don’t know what the hell Roland Burris was even TALKING about. Some of Harry Reid’s best friends know black people.
problemwithcaring: And Harry Reid’s best butlers know/are black people.
Whew! For a minute there I was worried that Harry Reid had grown a spine.
burris/reid in ‘16!
He sounds like a very old lounge singer doing patter about his fabulousness between tunes at the Cafe Carlyle.
sleepy: You would have to pay to see that.
Will you?
rambone:
Impossible for someone to grow something they were born without. If you are still confused, look at the photo of Mr. Reid next to the word “weasel” in the Rumsfeld Dictionary
Scandalabra: I’m glad someone around here appreciates my cum and gay sex jokes.
thefrontpage: Roland Burris, how about him for majority leader? He’s already done a better job in the last week than that simp Reid. Feh, when you need an LBJ, God, in Her sense of larky humor, sends you Don Knotts (*retches*).
This seems like a lot of trouble to go through simply to pave the way for Sen. Jeremiah Wright.
I’m so glad I contributed to the Obama campaign and the Democratic Senatorial Campaign fund and bought this country a complete set of wimps and shameless self-promoting tools.
Oh and Harry Reid is one of my senators; the only consolations are that the other guy is a Republican tool and Nevada’s not good for anything but a nuclear waste dump, anyway.
Mr Blifil:
or Alderman OJ
Reefpilot: Love your pic. IM me.
gidgetbananas: You contributed money? Well then it should be your wimps and your. At least have a sense of ownership. I mean… he is black.
I submit we start calling our folding lawn chairs “Harry’s” from now on.
shortsshortsshorts: tools. fail comment. FAIL.
According to Burris, God wanted him to be Senator too. So I wonder if he’s going to make God’s email address available to us, cuz that would be awesome.
God’s email address is totally awesome. Better than anything they can come up with for the Neiman Marcus catalogue even.
Aurelio: The biggest argument against Reid taking bribes is the simple fact that Reid is a gutless coward.
Mr Blifil: Oh wow, that would’ve been the ultimate epilogue to the campaign. It would be akin to Obama yelling Allah Akbar at the inauguration. It would have been the culmination of every conservative’s fears. In short, it would’ve been fucking awesome. It’s not too late, Blago.
I keep reading the headline Roland Burris Forgives Harry Reid For His Racism, which, given the circumstances, is making me laugh quite a bit.
myheadsexploding: Now hear this:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jan/06/atheist-bus-campaign-nationwide
This was mostly mating ritual on the part of Reid. First he pretends the treasure is out of reach, and does a bizarre dance and makes funny noises. That part was well chronicled by journalists and Fux News people alike. What was so spectacular was the last moment spin which gave Roland Burris full access to the inner spots. It’s rarely been witnessed in such a full state of display. And then Reid douched. Yay, the end.
Harry Reid seems like his skin glows. Hanging out too close to Yucca Mountain, maybe?
Heh, are they soliciting donations for the atheist bus? I would happily make one of those my own.
XOMuffintop: Yeah, and I know I’m not really saying anything much different than anyone else here, but it’s been obvious for years that Reid is a pussy.
A little OT, I guess, but what is the use in Dems having a majority when they are afraid to use it and flex their muscles? If they can’t even stand up to their own party members, then how will they ever foil the Republicans?
Republicans were in power for so long because they were ruthless and took no prisoners. No apologies and no backing down. All they can talk about now is obstructing the Democrats. These guys never learn, and Democrats may benefit from being similarly bullheaded. I keep having nightmares of the future - Obama’s first term, and four years of a Dem majority in Congress - will fail to produce results because they will kowtow to the GOP, and a historic opportunity for a major progressive shift in government will fall by the wayside.
Why are the Dems keeping sissies Reid and Pelosi around, anyway?
HedonismBot: Welcome to my nightmare. Was it Cornell West who said BHO’s got his full support, but come Day One, he’ll be breathing down his scrawny neck to make sure his spine is still connected to it? Sumpin’ like that. I feel the same way, especially with these “same old” appointees, and so few “changey” types. Yikes.
Roland Burris is the Rosa Parks of the U.S. Senate. No longer will teh blacks have to stand at the back of the Senate chamber. They still can’t eat at the lunch counter, though.
I hope Wonkette covers Roland “Trail Blazer” Burris’ engraving ceremony. I desperately await details of the inscription. Wink Wink, you know what I am talking about.
That man is smart enough to be a good Senator because he wears glasses, but he looks colored.
when burris told reid to bend over, he wound up sticking it in lieberman.
It’s really a shame, after the Dems went to all that trouble to get the last black man out of the senate by finding him another job.
Reefpilot: Oh, that Avatar, you rat-bastard.
Scandalabra: Reid is so lame he isn’t even likable anymore. I’d forgiven the senate Dems a lot, given the upcoming election. But the “upcoming” election is over and we won. Would someone please tell that bitch Diane Feinstein and that lame Harry Reid?
I totally lost it with this man when he announced that they were going to hold Obama to count. Great, great, you fucking asshole. Let Bush invade a country because, you know, whatever. Rollover on warrantless wiretapping, war crimes, torture, let Karl Rove thumb his nose, literally, at your subpoena but, by god, hold the line against Obama?
What part of The Democrats Won Because People Want Washington to Function Intelliigently Again did you people not get?
WE WON! Someone force Harry Reid to admit it or replace him.
What’s next? In the name of looking strong, they give Mitch McConnell a vote in the majority’s caucus?
Or is John Boner who’s in the senate? I get them mixed up.
HedonismBot: You have completely dreamed my nightmare. I keep thinking of Carter and the congress–Democrats seem to want to get even with other Democrats who are successful. No one, no one, can do in the Democratic party like Democrats. And now the MSM will be reading shit like Daily Kos to get the feel of blagostrat, or whatever they call the interents, and ignoring the wonkerrati, the heart and soul of the more foul-mouthed and dirty-minded buy faithful party loyalists.
It’s like the Democratic congress is just a bunch of sad-sack losers, even when they win–in spite of themselves.
This was mighty white of Reid and co, no?
Oh, you Aussies. That Jeff Elliott ozzie writer guy on Rachel is so cute. And wry–laughing smarmily at John Howard. Win!
I just my posts and realized that maybe I should start skipping the MSNBC primetime duo because they obviously get me too angry and full of rants. But as the lovely Rachel Maddow would put it, that Australian journalist totally talked me down.
daisy chain: Well, would YOU really want to go to the same restroom as the GOP Senators?
DustBowlBlues: I have a better idea. But it comes in steps.
1. Smash tee vee.
2. Throw tee vee against wall.
3. Scream like Mel Gibson from the Braveheart movie er whatever.
4. Lift tee vee like the governator in Conan the Barbarian and throw against wall a second time.
It beats MSNBC prime time any day of the week, er anything else for that matter.
oh yes…
5. ????
6. Profit!
DustBowlBlues: Boner is in the House.
DustBowlBlues: Teh gayenezZ in Rachel just diminished a little during that interview; she was like all schoolgirly blushing and squirmy-pantied. Love to see Rachel, Anna Marie Cox, and Geoff (I can’t quitchoo) Elliot in a raging 3-way. Hrmphhhhh. Forget shortsx3 and throwing out your teevee. Until it doesn’t happen.
which senator will forgive me for my racism?
DustBowlBlues: Reid is a perfect metaphor of an old man with an inflamed, swollen prostate, which rages him into a corner for words he‘d wished he had not said.
Either it goes or you go, Harry.
I’ll provide the snippers.
So, in the end, the Republicans were able to guilt the Dems into putting a liberal black guy into the Senate, and have come four-squarely for the right of a corrupt official to do whatever he wants, and to hell with propriety.
I have to figure that Blago is nailing young boys to get this kind of support from the GOP.
Scandalabra: Absolutely spot-on! I knew Burris reminded me of someone: he’s the Bobby Short of Illinois politics. Everybody sing, “Miss Pelosi regrets she’ll be unable to lunch today…”
RB, HNC, BITCHES
WELCOME THE 2016 OLYMIPCS TO CHICAGO
NebraskashireGentry: OBVI our newly appointed love-god from IL., who will drop raisins instead of racism.
I live in Chicago, IL. As best as I can tell, as a certified Democrat, my elected officials and the US senate have been bitten by zombies. Their mouths are full of fresh brains and they can’t love Roland enough. WTF! So I blogged about it and painted Roland green. Go ahead and pull the race card! I’ll open my Pantene color menu and fuck things up sideways!
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2009/01/roland-burris-and-his-legion-of-zombies.html
That is my blog link, above, and thanks for clicking. I promise not to make you feel stupid.
Mojopo: Except for naive Obamites, Democrats know better than to believe that promises will be kept. The best than can be hoped for are approximations, unless and until the right-leaning centrist Democratic Leadership Council, which now composes the core of the Obama team, steps in, and that shall be soon.
S.Luggo: S.luggo - no one with a basic grasp of common sense believes in political posturing. On the other hand, our Dems seem to be trying to convince themselves that everything is going to be A-OK. Obama’s team has bigger fish to fry (or something) and this topic of discussion may very well end up under the rug. Why? Because it tastes terrible. And you know what else? The core of the Obama team can kiss my ass if they let this slide.
Ok. Now can we put Blago in the slammo?
Can we put him on the Ethics and Standards Committee?
I’m very conflicted about this Zombie Senator. On one hand he’s a douche for allowing innocent people to be on death row. On the other hand the Pumas hate him too. On the other hand he’s a Zombie who likes to eat brains.
I think I have to support him, for no other reason than the Puma’s hating him and of course the firm, unloose and resolute balls of the Blagger. I give them no points for realizing Reid has saggy balls, since this doesn’t take much research.
Is there anyone I should speak to about this when I have to be in Chicago later this month? I can be very persuasive.
Mojopo: I’m surprised you didn’t include something about good Senator’s tomb on the poll in your blog. The article about the Zombie Senator makes up for it. Which areas of Chicago currently are no-go zones due to zombie infestation?
TGY: Both Blago and his taint can do slammer time.