Wonkette
In this Wall Street Journal boring article about how Europeans sure love cigarettes yadda yadda, we were intrigued by this paragraph calling Nazi Pope Joe “the Plumber” Ratzinger a known smoker! Is this some hilarious WSJ New Year’s joke? Because there is no evidence we can locate, outside of some obviously photoshopped images of Ratzi in a cloud of cancer, to suggest our crappiest pope indulges in this particular variety of sucking on cylindrical objects.
From the important news bulletin “Smoking Culture Persists in Europe, Despite Bans”:
Lighting up doesn’t carry the social stigma in Europe that it carries in the U.S. Many famous Europeans — including the Pope, French soccer star Zinedine Zidane and Britain’s Prince Harry — have been known to puff in private without burning their public image. U.S. President-elect Barack Obama, on the other hand, has spoken publicly about the pressure he feels to quit smoking.
This is going to be a weird and exciting New Year if Murdoch papers are going to start messing with the Pope.
I think, giving the accompanying picture, it would be more appropriate to refer to Pope Nazinger as Zombie Nazi Smoking Battle Pope Mothefucker IV.
If so, Murdoch prepare to meet thy doom. Do not challenge the original homeland security outfit.
Not as hot as Obama smoking, next.
It is humorous that the Euro nanny-states, with all their pinko socialist (free education, government-run health care and pensions, useful public transportation) programs, haven’t managed to stigmatize smoking. Think I’ll go get a pack of Marlboros.
Snark aside, I think there’s some factors we need to keep in mind. Europeans don’t have the same diet as Americans, read:, they don’t eat as much processed shit as we do, even though all the fast food conglomerates are trying to change that. Thus, I think they’re less seceptible to cancer because they probably consume more fresh produce (which has antioxidants, etc) while we’re overhere up to our asses in high fructose corn syrup.
First, that appears to be ‘incense’ he is burning. I cannot tell if it is Franesence or Myrrh however.
Second, Barry smoking creates American jobs. The tobacco industry has a long and brave history and was a cash-crop that supported plantation life many moons ago. In away, our African-american populous has tobacco to thank for their great life in america.
It is also important for exporting our American way of life and image. Barry looks very manly with his cigarette, kind of like a macho cowboy.
OK, I’m going out for a clean, easy smoking Kool now, just like Barry. It will however be rolled with skunk.
Does he roll his own?
I ain’t saying it.
Best British English expression EVAR:
“Can I bum a fag?”
Smoke without sex?
…next thing you know, you are gonna tell me that he gets plastered off the communion wine!
I guess it really is a penis substitute.
The cigarettes are essential. The arch-bishops don’t call him “the burner” for nothing.
The arch-bishops don’t call him “the burner” for nothing.
Interestingly, that’s also what the Jews call him.
Praise the Lord and pass the blessed weed!
Due to transubstantiation, when the pope smokes, he turns the smoke into Jesus farts.
the real scandal is that he butts them out on the smooth skin of altar boys. you don’t know who you are fucking with this time, Murdoch. Von Ratzinger’s gonna go albino on your ass. (hmmm, could this be a new expression?)
gjdodger: Old habits are hard to break.
His brand must be Sacramenthol.
cal: Holy smokes?
Norbert: I heard he butts them with his tongue, just to show the Cardinals what a major bad ass he is.
He pushes those cigarettes into the navels of altar boys he’s questioning about over zealous priests.
Euros get free cigarettes?
My apologies Norbert, you planted your flag quicker than the pope plants a fag.
Bong hits 4 Jesus, dude.
Pope smear.
Why can you treat nothing as sacred, Layne? Now I’m going to associate cigarettes with that old Nazi theocracy dude. That’s sort of cold blooded, Ken. Next you’ll associate my chewing tobacco with Sarah Palin.
actually, I’ve been to the Vatican (true story!) and everyone, while on the job and in uniform, stone cold smokes.
p.s. I’m sure I see the dove of the holy spirit in that cloud.
2druk2phluq: I’ve been led to believe that Alaskans use spent chewing tobacco for sex lube.
Norbert: So, the white smoke upon the non-election of a Pope is the Cardinals lighting up?
The Smoking Popes must be really happy about this.
Oh this poncey little tosser smokes MORES or Virginia Slims, fer shure. On holy days the curia always provides ciggies which were handrolled by nude nine year olds in some Kretakian clove factory.
Maybe the nicotine helps take the edge off of all the NAMBLA activity??
So wait, Guido Sarducci is the Pope now??? I haven’t been keeping up.
KNEEL before your Marlboro deity, Ratzi! Bwa-hah-hahhh!
4tehlulz: “I think, giving the accompanying picture, it would be more appropriate to refer to Pope Nazinger as Zombie Nazi Smoking Battle Pope Mothefucker IV.”
Put him in a vat and we can pretend this is Warhammer 40k.
Zoom back in time to the last papal election: the Catholic world waits with bated breath while the College of Cardinals deliberates and prays. Days pass, then weeks. Suddenly! Yes, the symbolic white puff of smoke! A Pope has been chosen to lead the faithful!
(The Cardinals hurriedly meet and decide it’s too embarrassing to admit it was just Ratzi sneaking a smoke between meetings; so he becomes Pope by default.)
TGY: Dang.
Mr. Cardinal, why don’t you have a seat over there?
I’m Chris Haaaansen.
Maybe this is Popey’s clever effort to counterbalance his “no birth control” edict from god that he pushes under threat of hell despite overpopulation, poverty and misery across the world. Maybe he’s thinking, “Let them fuck unprotected, but then encourage them to smoke so enough will die that poverty will be reduced.” God probably told him to do this, too. In a phantasmagoric dream induced by repeated exposure to benzene, formaldehyde, ammonia, acetone, tar, nicotine, carbon monoxide, arsenic, etc.
This has been a message from the Philip Morris Company. We care about your health. Really, we care. Unless you’re in the Asian market.
smoking is cool
Are we sure that’s a cigarette? I said puff, puff, pass mother fucker!
Isn’t this the same pope that bitched and moaned about the need to save the body of man over Christmas or some such nonsense?
Pope Ratzi, former head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, aka “the Inquisition” (the ecclesiastical organization that invented waterboarding), can do anything he wants. He is infallible on matters of faith and morals.
Would you like to know more? Cliquez ici.
Somehow, receiving the Wafer-O-Jeebus from nicotine stained fingers makes it even less appealing.
And also too, there is this–Popegear!
FAN CLUB MERCHANDISE! Our fan club t-shirts, bearing Ratzinger’s quotes selected by popular vote from the fan club’s inner sanctum! (Commission received from the sale of these items supports the maintenance of this website and other RFC-affiliated projects).
Sneaking a smoke is nothing. While they are very cool at the metal detectors and will allow you to reclaim your knife on the way out, there is a standing order that really nice shivs get passed on up to the head office. I want my stiletto back mofo, ain’t kidding!
Photoshopping is included in my concept of reality. I draw the line at Blingee.
Whoa,
Didn’t El Popee announce seven new sins recently? Wasn’t drug abuse one of them? Does this count!?!
Cause that would be baaaad! Baaad Pope!
First Obama smokes.
Then the Pope smokes.
Next we will have a picture of Putin smoking (probably with his top off, while wrestling a bear).
It’s in the Bible people!
There will be a new encyclical procalaiming that, whereas his hollyness has been photographed with filter-tipped Tareytons in his mouth, and despite all news and opinion to the contrary, he doesn’t suck!
Wait a sek, tobacco was “introduced” to the Eurocracy by polytheist heathens.
Burning and partaking in Tobacco is not mentioned anywhere in the scripts..ah..er…scriptures. Hell, not even in “Pearl of Great Price” and those other ‘newer’ texts printed up there in Salt Lake that where scribed long after us whities where hooked on nicotine.
Strange, I say.
(we atheists can smoke anything…English fags are a secret delicacy)
I remember back in the day when the press had more respect for our icons, but now they just show them willy nilly smokin’ all over the place, and half naked. So, while you’re at it, since we lost all decency and respect anyway, could we have more nekkid pictures of the President Elect of the United States of America? I was just wondering.
Bowdoin: Tareytons! That explains the black eyes.
[/child of the 70's] http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/6d/1965tareytonad.jpg
I can’t believe Pasolini is not alive to document this Pope/Troll. It would have been a match made in hell.
Lascauxcaveman: Tareytons! Wow, cool, brings back an era, a whole magical time in my life. Actually it doesn’t. I was there, but I don’t remember any of it. Except this Tareyton commercial:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArDFVEikL8k
The taste worth fighting for!
I was once asked if I smoked after sex, and I had to say I had never looked. This guy smokes after giving communion. That’s hot.
Scandalabra: That reminds me, I’ve been meaning to watch Salo all week.
Nice to see Joey the Rat support incinerating something other than Jews.
‘Popemobile’ is only two letters from ‘Pimpmobile’.
Crap, when did Robert Blake become Pope? He’d rather fight than switch! (thankx Bowdoin.)
Puff, the Magic Draggin’ Pope, lived in the See….
But, does he inhale?
Well, of course he smokes. Takes his mind off things, for one. How else is he going to forget the faces of all those Jewish babies the Nazis made him disembowel with a soup spoon, all in the name of “research?”
You expect me to deal with all you sinners defying my authority without a little earthly comfort?
Damn right I smoke! And drink, too! What’s it to you heathens?
twitter.com/PopeBenny
PopeBenny: Hi, I like a Pope with Attitude.
Your Holiness, I have a question that has been troubling me. Am I a sinner if I smoke the ganja? Bless you.
Who gives a Ratz whether the Pope smokes? Like every other elective human habit, it’s personal choice (like eating food is for most western people). Smokers just need to be mindful of the need for common courtesy. Rabid non-smokers need to be similarly mindful. It’s a legal product. So what if it’s just another way of slowly killing yourself? Life does that to you anyway.
Hector: My wife is a hospice social worker, and I can tell you this: smoking might start out killing you slowly, but then one day you’re suddenly looking in the mirror with your one good eye and you’re wondering, “Where the fuck is the rest of my face?” or you’re buzzing out swear words, and puffing, through the hole in your neck. When it goes bad, it goes WORLD-CLASS bad, and at that point there ain’t no turning back. When you get “old,” which doesn’t take all that long and still might mean decades of continued living, in some fashion, you often don’t feel old, you just feel lucky to have your health, unless you don’t. Can’t tell you how many people have wept to her, “Dear god, if only I’d quit when I got that urge to quit fifteen years ago…”
Just had to offer another opinion. Yours is the one smokers usually express, and it’s the kind of thing that helps other smokers rationalize and continue their habit. My wife’s hospice organization has dealt with scores of people, in a relatively small community, who wish to hell they’d chosen another angle when the window of opportunity opened. It’s a nightmare world she inhabits. I really don’t know how she does it. A good half the cases she works on involve smokers who are dying. Badly.
Okay, Just heard the whistle. Back to the real task: snark, snark.
you guys might wanna see this….. http://fourpointreport.com/blog/?p=210