Wonkette
- AN EXCITING OPPORTUNITY TO HELP YOUR WONKETTE: Your associate editor “Jim” would like to do a Year In Rear View Top 5/10 List, it being December 30th and all, and has decided to GO EPIC: Top 5/10 Teevee Clips of the Year. Whoa, right? (PSST SECRET: YOUTUBE CLIPS ARE EASY TO POST.) We have some ideas but want to be very careful not to forget anything important. So please send us some suggestions (tips@wonkette.com) under the subject line “I am an American, Chicago born — Chicago, that somber city — and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. But a man’s character is his fate, says Heraclitus, and in the end there isn’t any way to disguise the nature of the knocks by acoustical work on the door or gloving the knuckles.” Seriously you have to use the whole quote as your subject.
…with a subject line like that, I think its time for “random” drug testing at Wonkette headquarters.
Are there any that match the glory of Sarah Palin and the turkey slaughter and Dubya ducking a pair of shoes? I could watch those over and over. In fact, I do.
I hate you Jim. I thought you said we could post Youtube clips, but it filtered mine out.
Bear Grylls drinking his own pee from the skin of a dead snake.
SayItWithWookies: …well there was the John McCain/Barack Obama dance off(contributed by yours truly!) and the evisceration of Kevin James by Chris Matthews!!!
AngryBlakGuy: What kind of drugs will they be testing? Because that sounds like an “EXCITING OPPORTUNITY” I could get behind.
McCain’s weird walky thing was good.
First tina fey too.
Are we gonna have any other lists?
jagorev: He said they’re easy to post. Not for commenters, though.
Obama Girl masturbating Planet Wonkette!
you could steal some from here!: http://www.time.com/time/specials/2008/top10
Anybody finds and posts the live-footage video that goes with the Frontbutt picture is my hero forever.
SENT! Though I’m sure at least everyone else will send the same ones I did, I feel like I contributed to something bigger than myself for the first time ever. I hate this feeling.
“HHENNNGGHGH!?”
AngryBlakGuy: ooh, or the Bob Gibbs/Sean Hannity smackdown.
Hot slutty chicks dig Saul Bellow.
Bring back the Batman clips from the election. They are vital to the existence of man.
CollegeStudent: …I’m leaning toward the hallucinogens, so definitely PCP, Salvia & DEX.
AngryBlakGuy: If anyone in that random drug test comes back negative, I’ll be really sad and have to donate some drugz.
Srsly for a minute. Thanks to Wonkette for all your hard work this year. I love you guys and you deserve the Pulitzer (or the Murrow or whatever-the-fuck award they give journalists) for your top notch weekly analysis of Peggy Noonan.
Doglessliberal: …how about the infamous “That One!” video!
Seeing Britney Spears’ snatch when she was exiting the car, numero uno.
I went and found the clip of Jon Stewart eviscerating Chris Matthews — unfortunately it was from 2007. Still a hoot though.
Hillz makin tearz!!
Larry Fine: If that was last year, I still remember it, it comes in handy at times.
Bill O’Reilly’s meltdown. Fine family entertainment, that.
Admirable; somebody else recognized Saul’s work. Since it is maybe the third best-known opening line in all of US literature, we may consider that par for the course. And may I suggest…in keeping with Saul’s life…that a nice collection of illustrations of people who kicked over all the traces of their lives for no other reason than boredom would fit this last year just Chicago-peachy fine.
“Five and a half years, alan!!!”
If that doesn’t make the top 5 I don’t know you anymore, wonkette.
Heraclitus. HA!
Ah..c’mon nothing tops the shoe, it artfully wrapped up the enitre debacle that was Iraq, a fitting ending for the debacle that was the preceding seven years.
Anonymous Office Zombie: All I have to do to cheer myself up is think of that picture and the comment thread… ahhh….
My favorite comment was “no like frontbutt.” HA! Frontbutt??? WTF?
Bruno: …I think it would be fun taking bets on who takes what drugs and who will have the highest combination of drugs in their system! My forecast:
-S.K.S = Marijuana, Shrooms & Vicoden
-Ken L = Acid, High grade trailer park Meth, Huffing Spray Paint
-Jim N = Henessy , Syzurp & Crack
How about that one episode of “Wonkette TEEVEE” where Ken slurs his way through interviews with the “Reason” guy Jim worships. That was pretty damned funny.
AngryBlakGuy: oh, yes, a must see.
SayItWithWookies: Good one, oh, and Jim, this one is a prize, too. Bill Maher interviewing Terry McAuliffe.
http://www.truthdig.com/avbooth/item/20080309_bill_maher_vs_terry_mcauliffe/
Is Wonkette going to have 10 predictions for 2009? ‘Cause I’m guessing that after 1/20 Cheney will lose his ability to assume human shape.
AngryBlakGuy: Hahaha. Jim can’t afford no Henny.
AngryBlakGuy: Have you been going through my dashboard or something. GTFO.
All the best youtube moments of 2008 involved cats on treadmills.
If there had been a cat on a treadmill beside Hopey’s podium during his Chicago victory speech, it would have made for the greatest spectacle in youtube history. Unfortunately, H. has no real sense of occasion when it comes to planning these things.
NoWireHangers: … maybe MD 20/20 or Sisco?
I seem to recall an amusing piece of video of Sean Hannity being heckled by Paultards in New Hampshire.
Delicious: What is that from? “Seize the Day”?
I nominate the first 10 scenes from “Nailin’ Palin.”
We definitely need that Fox douche getting trampled at the DNC. “Don’t you believe in freedom of speech?!?”
That Kashkari Chump video is nice. And there are all those horrible Hillary Clinton “Hillary in the House” videos from the terrible primaries. Big Daddy boob-grab video is good. WALNUTS! insulting his supporters is good. Any of the Palin interviews. Maybe the Obama daughters at the convention. But I guess the most solid in no particular order would be:
1. FIVE AND A HALF…
2. Any Palin interview
3. Bush shoe throw
4. Hillz takes a shot and chugs beer in blue collar America OR Hillz cries in NH
5. Barry being crowned emperor of America
6. Spitzer resigns
7. John Edwards confesses
8. WALNUTS! makes a Freudian slip
9. Pat Fitzgerald reading the Blago “fuck ‘em” transcripts
Fox and Friends losing the cobra under the couch in February. Also, Karl Rove on Fox News singing Mitt Romney’s praises moments before Romney throws in the towel at CPAC 2008, priceless!
Wow. No nominations for Bush’s “Retard Zombie Dance” (copyright Wonkette) in Africa?
The historic election night moment when will.i.am was beamed in from outer space by Wolf Blitzer on CNN is one I will always treasure. It brought in gravitas and purpose amidst all the frivolity of that night.
Kev-O-Tron:
It’s like the visual representation of the punchline to the greatest joke ever. It’s like an entire absurdist play contained not just in one act or in one scene but in a single image.
I never get tired of seeing it. All it needs is a pair of TRUCKNUTZ and it could never be surpassed in greatness.
AngryBlakGuy: That list would be fine in 2007. But it’s 2008 — the year of poor person’s drugs. I’m guessing white out, nutmeg, Robitussin, terpentine and melamine all the way around.
Walnuts ogling Palin’s (back)butt. Please please please.
Vewol Mevemont: On second thought, nutmeg is kind of pricey — replace it with table salt, Raid, and dirt.
I like the Liz Glover video with the dog* at the convention having his way with her microphone
*real dog, not GOP operative
Anonymous Office Zombie: I just spent ten minutes searching Wonkette for that post and the alt text just took it to a whole new level for me. It’s like a David Cronenberg or David Lynch movie. I can’t take it.
Don’t forget that “clown in a bear suit” who ruined Hurricane Ike for everyone…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKwMiExUKXg
SHAM WOW
“Did you call your wife a cunt?” Walnuts vid. Jeebus, I haven’t typed his name in like, weeks.
Purple Tide: ya gonna spend 20 dollars a month on paper towels in the first place.
magic titty: Hark the herald angels sing!!! HEHNNGHH made the list!!
My own sad offering is purely historical, with NO political import WHATSOEVER.
It is of my band performing a Captain Beefheart song called “Plastic Factory.” You see, a long, long time ago, the USofA had things called “factories” where citizens “made” shit, much of it rendered from plastic. Such citizens - who were occupied with “jobs” - would bemoan the cruelty of those under whom they slaved, and muttered things like “Factory’s no place for me; Boss Man, let me be.” [Perhaps you had to be there to experience the "factories" and "jobs" and such like, but all of the above IS historically "true."] Oh those halcyon days, before China was “capitalist” and the USofA was “socialist.”
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=qqneBEZ164U&feature=channel_page
All props to Don Van Vliet! Hey Ken Layne, next time you bump into Don, show him this on your laptop just to see if he giggles.
shortsshortsshorts: Ken wasn’t slurring. He was restin’. Beautiful plumage.
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