Wonkette
- THE MEMO GOT LOST: Oh, right. In case it wasn’t obvious these past two days, your Wonkette is resting for the tragedy that will be 2009 through the New Year, meaning we’re on a “limited posting schedule” for the rest of 2008. WAIT DON’T LEAVE… we’ll still be posting every day, even on Jesus’ Birthday, but with only one editor per day. And today it’s your male associate editor! So prepare yourself for more aggravating nonsense.
Don’t lie to us. We know you’re all out snapping up foreclosed real-estate as per the advice of your wealth-creation guru, Armando Montelongo.
Which one of you is gonna be liveblogging midnight mass?
Jim, obviously Wonkette has decided to take part in the War on Christmas by denying us sufficient daily snark. Baby Jeebus haz a sad.
Wait till NOW hears this!
When’s Jesus’s Birthday?
So what’s your overtime pay? Are we supposed to click on 50% more ads or something?
I thought that read, “your mule associate editor” which made sense. I figured Wonkette paid Bill Kristol for use of his writing donkey for the week.
Nooooooooooooooo…no alt text all day.
Jebus wept.
It’s ok. We can ammuse ourselves by staring at the IMVU girl at the bottom left of the page (world’s greatest 3d chat). She’s preeeddy.
Crow T. Robot: Just slap Barry’s nekkid photoz on every article today imo. Its like Christmas coming early, by which I mean short, unsatisfying, and all over your pants.
Bruno: the overtime pay was the 50ft tall Campbell Brown.
I’ll also be posting less over the holidays, due to furious masturbation.
Jim, just start the eggnog at 8 am….posting will become much easier, and even more entertaining for us.
Serolf Divad: Does Armando Montelongo have a blog? Because that would be worth reading during the Dark Times where Wonkette will be shirking its duties. That guy is crazier than a shithouse rat.
You guys are pretty nice, giving Campbell Brown the week off like that.
freakishlystrong: March 24
Who will be liveblogging the long-awaited, much anticipated, ever comedic December 31 re-countdown to………the Senator of Minnesota?!
Is it weird that I miss Campbell Brown? A lot? She always had a smile for me.
How is that different from other days, mehoff?
As long as you have to work, how about helping out Joliet Rod with this poetry thing?
I think that I shall never see
My Gov’ner hanging from a tree
That Governor whose hungry mouth
Has lead career moves sraightway South
Who lies and cheats and steals all day
And scorns the folks who have to pay
To staple him to larch or birch
So raptor wife will have a perch
Snuggly nestled in his locks
She makes the Cubs eat bags of cocks
Terrifying to editors Tribling
Shames Joyce Kilmer and Rudyard Kipling
Yay for Newell-day! I have a total blog-crush on Mr. Newell’s stellar snark levels. In my head, I picture him as being super-cute too, in a geeky way.
Jesus was born in March…this is just the Christians usurping the Pagan Winter Solstice celebrations because they were so dang popular. I bet they even had big shopping days at the markets then too.
This is cruelty to me. I should call PETA.
I think this is because the rest of the staff is planning the big Wonkette Inaugural Ball- I hear we have REO Speedwagon and the Carpenters performing.
No Styx? Goddammit.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: yes, also.
Wonkette Editors, If I knew where you lived I would personally deliver your Christmas Bonus - 40 grams of Amste’s finest hash to your doorstep. Bless you all, Amen