perfunctories

Inappropriate!POLITICO MUST BE BOMBED TO HELL, RIGHT NOW: “Obama has been photographed several times without his shirt as a presidential candidate but he’s about to step into the White House — so how much skin is too much? There is a fine line, experts said, and this time at least, Obama was on the right side of it.” And in the next paragraph, there’s a quote from an expert! He says it’s normal for the humans to take their shirts off at the beach! And the expert’s name is “Howard Bragman,” which is clearly made up. Ugh. We’re not even going to link to this article. [Mystery Link]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

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  • finallyhappy

    What is the mystery link? I am on cold meds so I don’t get it(does anyone?)

  • Darehead

    “It’s normal for the humans to take their shirts off at the beach!”
    Not. Good Muslim men do not take their shirts off!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Topless Obama makes the Wingnuts uncomfortable and feeling all throbby.

  • CorkPopper

    The stupid, it burns!

  • Darehead

    And Bitterz are bummed cuz it coulda been a topless Hillary.

  • BillyClubb

    Yeah, I think Bill Clinton showed a little too much skin at the white House, in the Oval Office, with Monica Lewinski. As long as Barry doesn’t cross that “fine line” he can walk around the White House shirtless for all I care.

  • freakishlystrong

    It it was on on Politico then expect the comment:
    “NOBAMA IS A MUSLIN, THEY DON’T REMOVE THEIR SHIRTS, ONLY SHOES11!!!1″

  • WadISay

    Topless bathing: is it Lincolnesque? Politico reports, you decide.

  • Bruno

    This is such a double standard. When SnowBilly was basking by the pool at the GOP Guvs convention in Florida, everyone paid attention and we couldn’t see any of her girly bits.

    Its time to step up to the plate Snowbilly – if you want to be presidential, start acting that way.

  • Taonut

    If you stare at the mystery link picture long enough you can see the word “Hopey”

  • nmmagayar

    [re=204520]Bruno[/re]: ugghhh! Must use teh brain bleach. Thank g-d i’m teh gay

  • BarthexDeRosa

    There’s lots of pix of Kennedy with his shirt off, poolside. Point is, no matter what their politics, most presidents know when the world doesn’t want to see them with their shirt off. Nixon? Reagan? Either Bush? No, and no thank you.

  • Bruno

    [re=204520]Bruno[/re]: By these standards, Paris Hilton is more presidential than SnowBilly

  • V572625694

    How does Politico manage to be so boring? It’s boring to look at, boring to read, boring to think about. Do you suppose they have an in-house Director of Boringness who exterminates all interesting information or graphics?

    As a regular reader of Talking Points Memo, I know boring when I see it.

  • PoliticalGraffiti

    [re=204509]finallyhappy[/re]: well, im pretty high, and i think it’s moving…or is it?

  • PoliticalGraffiti
  • Perot le fou

    The mystery link…that’s a penis for sure.

  • Darehead

    We can be grateful that we never saw W with his shirt off. However, one of his loyal retainers guarding our Homeland is named Shirtoff. A befitting name for the team of Bush, Dick and Cuntileeza.

  • Mild Midwesterner

    Muslim men can go around shirtless all they want. Aladdin only wore only a vest and MC Hammer pants.

  • Miller

    Finally a President I can wank to for his policies, power, and looks. This is why McCain/Palin lost, Sarah never walked around showing off the sweater meat.

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  • shanemcgowan

    [re=204511]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Shirtless Obama means nothing to the wingnuts. He’s above age 12.

  • Chad San Marino

    Shit, Obama is 15 years older than me and if I had his body, I’d only wear a shirt of you staple-gunned it to my chest. I wouldn’t even own any shirts unless they were skintight. I’d go to work shirtless with a jacket and tie, and my only concession to the cold would be band-aids on my nipples. You do you, Hopey.

  • actor212

    Wait…it’s NORMAL to strip down to your civvies on a tropical island in the sun?

    Exposing your breasteses for all the world to see?

    Why can’t women, then?

  • pourmecoffee

    You know Rick Warren would hit that. C’mon.

  • hockeymom

    He’s not naked enough.

  • shanemcgowan

    [re=204528]Perot le fou[/re]: I feel the same way looking at the Mystery Link as I do when I read Michele Malikin.

    That Politico column seems to be full of both Bias and Bull.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “Eat your heart out, Sarkozy,” wrote one commenter on The Huffington Post, one of a select few outlets to receive the images Monday.
    Heh, heh — Politico won’t grab the pix from TMZ. Babies.

  • Monsieur Grumpe
  • ManchuCandidate
  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    God I hate slow news weeks. And I don’t mean that as a shot at Wonkette; just in general, slow news weeks make for little snark. I can barely get excited about the vapidity of Politico.

  • Waldo Geraldo Faldo

    Animal Collective, the Wonkettes? You too?

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …well he certainly looks more comfortable than Michelle!

  • Madeline

    Thanks a lot Wonkette. Between the mystery link and the strobe-esque LED lights that I bought for their energy-saving goodness, I will be queasy and/or having an acid flashback all morning.

  • Darehead

    Monsieur — so that’s Trig’s real mother! It all makes sense now.

  • Darehead

    [re=204549]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Hey, Burkinis are all the rage now.

  • P Drizzle

    [re=204547]Waldo Geraldo Faldo[/re]: The Jim only talks so much trash about dope-smoking Second Life hippies cause HE IS ONE.

  • 4tehlulz

    The fact that Barry won’t allow Michelle to be topless too proves that he is a Muslim.

    /No Quarter

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=204544]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: fjdslf;j fdosidfopa!!@ jfsadkfl;sa

    Did that come out ok? I scratched my eyes out….

  • Delicious

    Drudge has a poll asking his Drudgetards who looks better shirtless?

    Obama or Putin?

    Putin is winning.

  • Not_So_Much

    I like the mystery link more than anything I see on Politico.

    Inna-gada-da-vida baby!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=204553]Darehead[/re]: …you should should see the tan lines!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    These are the important issues in this country, which is why we must all be firebombed immediately.

  • MarieDeGournay

    Ugh, that’s so dumb.

  • m_supercomputer

    [re=204557]Delicious[/re]: …oh my god, I thought you were joking, and no. No you are not. Isn’t asking his target audience of self-loathing gay men who think they can pray their orientation away which guy looks hotter shirtless going to cause their brains to implode?

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=204557]Delicious[/re]: That’s just ’cause the Drudgetards look into Putin’s soul — his shirtless, man-titted, autocratic, baby-eating soul — and get hot. It takes all kinds.

  • coolcatdaddy

    People take their shirts off at the beach?

    What about the obscene bare skin offending the sensibilities of the young ladies?

    Next thing you know, women will be wearing short dresses showing off bare ankles or something. Hmph.

  • thefrontpage

    Can you stop with these stupid pictures? It’s like the Peggy Noonan thing–why, and who the hell cares? It’s a guy on the beach on vacation–like tens of millions of other people every week. Do you guys not ever go to the beach? We all love Wonkette–but, really, no one cares if someone goes to the beach. No one cares. Move on! Next news story, please! There’s a lot going on the world.

  • tribalpottery

    Howard Bragman is a famous flack.

  • finallyhappy

    [re=204567]thefrontpage[/re]: Really- something more important than the photo of our hot new president? Looking for News of the boring- ever hear of CNN or NYT?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I don’t understand this. Where is the spandex costume that Hopeyman wears beneath his secret-identity “Barack Obama” garb?

  • A Geek Tragedy

    Does this mean that Teh Gheys forgive him now?

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    [re=204567]thefrontpage[/re]: Here you go! You’re most welcome!

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    [re=204587]A Geek Tragedy[/re]: Nope

  • Serolf Divad

    Don’t most experts in how much skin you should show mostly work in porn?

  • norbizness

    Don’t forget the White House Christmas card of 1911, featuring naked gastropod William Howard Taft sprawled out on a bearskin rug in front of a fire.

  • Darehead

    [re=204598]Serolf Divad[/re]: Either that or religion.

  • Hooray For Anything

    To: Politico
    From: Hooray for Anything

    Really?

  • sowbelly

    The go to celebrity for shirtless, Matthew McConaughey, will do a spot on Today with body apologist Al Roker.

  • Mustang

    [re=204567]thefrontpage[/re]: Here here! I care deeply if someone goes to the beach! Hopey in trunks = Ah OOO Gah! BTW Mystery Link = Nausea

  • AfghanVet

    Putin is not going to allow this shirtless gap to continue. I suspect they are planning a shirtless counter-strike within the next week. If we are not careful we could have shirtless escalation that will bring in the French and then it will be totally out of control.

  • stopmebeforeitypeagain

    Who or what is the so-called “”NIA-MALIKA HENDERSON”” who graces the pages of Politico, and what does she/he/it — pronounced “sheeeeeit” — want? Has ‘sheeeeeit’ got the hots for Hopey?

    What’s the deal with this alleged “Paparazzo”? Is there some scheme afoot to inflame the loins of AMERICA, and weaken our Moral FiberTM?

    C’mon, Wonkettes. We must get to the bottom of this.

  • Bruno

    [re=204680]AfghanVet[/re]: I cannot accept any additional escalation in the shirtless cold war until Kim Jong Il bears all.

  • Atheist Nun

    ‘And in the next paragraph, there’s a quote from an expert!’

    Now, this ‘Naked Obama Expert’ job you speak of, can I apply for this on Obama’s employment webpage, or is this more of a freelance position?

  • Purple Tide

    Answer me this, Howard Brag Man: why does Mr. NOBama not wear an american flag bikini like my muse, the saucy snow-queen, America Lovin’ Sarah Palin. And where’s his gun? And don’t talk about that curly little prawn in his Speedo®. Real Americans don’t trust the sharks to behave themselves.

  • Min

    That’s what this country needs, dammit! More fetching nudity in the White House!

  • Jollity

    [re=204539]pourmecoffee[/re]: Everyone would hit that, to be fair.

    People who say they wouldn’t are lying.

  • TGY

    According to our press, we are a nation of retards.