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Maybe We’ll Read Page 136 Just To Piss You Off, Mark Penn

As Gawker points out, this comical footnote is the douchiest possible way Mark Penn — or anyone, ever — could have ended his Wall Street Journal column today. (Oh, yes, he has a regular WSJ column now called… “Microtrends.” His punishment from God is to hawk this dumb book for the rest of his life.) [WSJ, Gawker]


1:04 PM on Thu December 18 2008
By Jim Newell
1197 Views

  1. Once again, I am reduced to saying, How the fuck did this douchenozzle get a gig writing anything that anyone is expected to take seriously?
    Jeebus.

  2. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:09 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Not only did that article say nothing relevant, at all, it also attempted to add five new phrases to the English language, all of which fail, miserably, just like Bowser.

    If the WSJ continues publishing crap like that, they can burn in Wall Street, like the res’ o’ dem.

  3. Mark Penn’s dick is a Microtrend.

  4. donner_froh says at 1:15 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Hamster: That is his brain. No one knows the size of his dick because it has been hidden by his overhanging belly and pillowy thighs for years.

  5. NewSpence says at 1:17 pm, December 18th, 2008

    On a completely other note, Paul Weyrich is the first True Conservative to decide to shuffle off this mortal coil rather then endure the Obamacalypse. Any bets on who is next?

  6. shortsshortsshorts: The WSJ has turned into a rag ever since Rupert took over & they implemented the tabloid style format.

    Anything, if they’re one thing we learned over the election is that Microtrends sucks. I’m much more a John Naisbitt fan

  7. Looks like another exciting Christmas at the Penn residence. Once again it’s he, the dog, and an economy size jar of creamy Skippy.

  8. BobLoblawLawBlog says at 1:19 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Once again, I must applaud the fine work Rupert’s doing to turn a once reputable paper into fish wrapping. I give the WSJ 2 weeks before the word “Hizzoner” appears in a headline.

  9. user-of-owls says at 1:22 pm, December 18th, 2008

    FMA: How the fuck did this douchenozzle get a gig writing anything that anyone is expected to take seriously?

    He didn’t. He got a column in the WSJ instead.

  10. SayItWithWookies says at 1:27 pm, December 18th, 2008

    What happened in America before the financial crisis is that we had the fastest expansion of the elite population in history.
    Um…a rapidly expanding elite is not an elite, okay?

    Also, a microtrend is apparently anything Mark Penn wants to write about in conjunction with pushing his book.

  11. donner_froh: ahh, thank you. Correction: Mark Penn’s brain is a Microdick …or…whatever, I was just impressed upon by personality–not issues–and lost my train of thought.

  12. snideinplainsight says at 1:29 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Maybe now the Wonkett should FAIL that little WSJ website, whatever it is.

  13. blowhard says at 1:32 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Hamster: Mark Penn is Envy.

  14. FreshCliches says at 1:34 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Other Microtrends:

    The post-primary PUMA movement.
    The approval ratings of Sarah Palin.
    The “center-right” electorate.
    The cognitive abilities of Mark Penn.

  15. Hasn’t he crept back under a rock yet?

  16. donner_froh: Is that why he’s a dickhead? HARHARHARHARHAR

  17. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:46 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Borat: Luckily I have religiously hated the WSJ since the beginning of time, so the News Corp. takeover didn’t matter.

  18. OT! Breaking! Lizard People disenfranchised! Their vote for Franken thrown out!
    But! FSM in the tank for Franken!
    http://minnesotaindependent.com/20585/flying-spaghetti-monster-makes-minnesota-recount-appearance

  19. glamourdammerung says at 2:00 pm, December 18th, 2008

    NewSpence: Do you think they are going to bury Weyrich or will simply flushing resolve any disposal issues?

  20. Dramatist says at 2:03 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Pages 131 to 135 is actually a naked spread of Mark Penn. Four full pages was the minimum required space to give proper scale to his Markstrosity.

  21. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 2:16 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Dramatist: Please. Not while I’m eating.

  22. norbizness says at 2:36 pm, December 18th, 2008

    I’m sure that all 13 people who haven’t immediately converted their copy of Microtrends into birdcage lining will immediate flip to said section.

  23. norbizness says at 2:36 pm, December 18th, 2008

    queeraselvis v 2.0: Did you know that the phrase “not while Mark Penn is eating” is a nullity?

  24. problemwithcaring says at 3:25 pm, December 18th, 2008

    norbizness: Win.

  25. shortsshortsshorts: I knew it was too lowbrow for you - I always knew you were an Investors Business Daily reader. Or maybe you are a man of leisure only needing to read the weekend FT and Barron’s?

  26. microtrends from a microdick

  27. actor212 says at 4:08 pm, December 18th, 2008

    norbizness: Now that’s not true! I actually saw him speak once and his mouth was empty!

  28. actor212 says at 4:09 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Of course, he was ordering dinner…

  29. Is Mark Penn suggesting that the majority of super rich, elites in the US are voting Democratic?

  30. grevillea says at 7:57 pm, December 18th, 2008

    Make Millions as an Op-Ed Columnist with our FREE Online Course!

    Assignment 1:
    Take a pithy well-known proverb, e.g. “A fool and his money are soon parted”. Rewrite it as a pompous, non-insightful 500 word column. Extra credit for citing yourself as an authority!

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