Wonkette
- UGH: “DETROIT — Chrysler says it will close all 30 of its manufacturing plants for a month starting Friday.” It’ll be like a vacation for auto workers, except they won’t travel anywhere and will enter poverty. We just couldn’t afford that $14 billion loan! [AP]
YAY — here come a new batch of Wonkette commenters!
Gee this would have been a great idea say, like, back when we bailed you out 20 YEARS AGO you awful, stupid company.
Please start making the Jeep Cherokee again, too, and stop making the Wrangler bigger. That car’s off road ability was perfect because of the WHEELBASE, and now your like “well let’s fuck that up too.” I just don’t understand why ANYBODY would want to drive your sea-faring boats.
Wow, and just before Christmas, too! These workers will be so, so thankful to our nation’s Southern Republican Senators for standing up to their stupid, lazy, inefficient union! The Republicans are sure to win the Rust Belt now!
Well, if they were trying to travel in a Chrysler product, they wouldn’t have gotten that far anyway.
Nothing like a little eleventh-hour scorched earth for us to remember Dubya by. (Digs in closet for shoes).
Sorry suckazzz, you got laid off a week to late to kick our ass at EcoDriving!
Take that, GM.
And just in time for Christmas too!
Maybe they can all start selling Amway?
I know that the CEO and his top executives all feel really bad about this. To prove it, they’re foregoing the fois gras at their private holiday party in St. Kitts.
Now comes the winter of Chrysler’s discontent.
For the bankers, its springtime and a perpetual vacation.
If the workers are relying on the local newspapers for the latest on their job status, it’s all good, ‘cuz No News is good news.
On the upside, historians recently figured out that Jebus was actually born in the middle of July, so this isn’t really Xmas at all.
And there’s Campbell, forever strutting and smiling her ass off at them.
WhatTheHeck: Yeah, as long as the bankers are safe we can have faith we’ll pull through this.
So, “No Bias”. She has no bias toward democracy, justice or freedom? No bias against poverty, dishonesty or evilness? So she’s a zen druid of some sort. She must be smiling due to the perfect balance of good and evil that exists in the world at the current time.
Hey hay, great decision. Time for another round of management bonuses for teaching them unions a lesson!
Blast from the past: http://wonkette.com/164635/campbell-brown-and-dan-senor-to-make-tons-of-baby-insiders-together
Michigan is so completely screwed.
I’d blame it on management deciding to make TruckNutz hangers, rather than good cars.
And deciding their business model should be the Wall Street mortgage backed securities business.
But you know our friends, the pukes. “It’s all because of the unions.”
P.S. I apologize for not being funny. This SJK makes me hit the keyboard too hard.
~
I guess this is what it takes to get those “It’s a Jeep thing” bumper stickers off the market.
Do they know it’s Christmas in Detroit?
No worries, the autoworkers can simply move to Korea and learn to build Hyunday cars and Kubota tractors.
Thats what Americans seem to want.
We are, after all, a Wal Mart nation.
Borat: Oh no. We need to be careful what we wish for. Basic economics (should it still exist) teaches us about complementary products. E.g., Katchup is sold when people buy Burgers*. If the car industry goes down, the entire TruckNuts based economy of Florida disappears.
*(but I forsee new burger flavored body spray filling in some of the gap. Shuptner’s creative destruction, go figure)
LazloHollyfeld: What will we do when our lives are no longer “trail rated?”
Come here a minute: I hope they like Campbell because that’s what we got.
Take it easy everyone. The good news is this will fund another few weeks in Iraq. And, it may stimulate growth in the nascent shoe-throwing sector.
I’m sure Mitch McConnell is proud
“Chrysler’s unionized workers will be paid during the hiatus in plant operations”
So it WILL be like a vacation for auto workers. Only difference: vortex of despair and hopelessness. Although, that might describe a family vacation too.
THEY didn’t figure out that with a little Campbell Brown advertising revenue, all your problems will go away.
Borat: No sooner said, than done:
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/12/17/at-mta-hearing-another-shoe-almost-dropped/
Pretty grim news. Perhaps Sen Mitch could deliver a lecture on Detroit TV telling all those rascals that they would thank him (and his party) when this was all over.
2009 is not going to be a good year.
Damn, lots of grinches this year stealing Christmas.
RobPetrified: I think you mean move to Kentucky for a nice, non-union job and learn to build Hyundai cars and Kubota tractors without decent health care or pension plans.
brb, going through my investment portfolio to see if I’m holding any Chrysler stock so I can start a shareholder suit. I’m pretty sure *intentionally* paying people to sit on their asses is a big breach of fiduciary duty.
Darehead: When I comment, it looks like she’s hiding behind a white wall.
Any truth to the rumor that Bush is going to demand that we all return to the cities of our birth next weekend for a census?
bitchincamaro: A 10-1/2 size Redwing would raise a knot. Maybe shoe futures is where to park some of my unemployment benefits.
p-Sludge:
Inside the museums, Infinity goes up on trial
Voices echo this is what salvation must be like after a while
But Mona Lisa musta had the highway blues
You can tell by the way she smiles….
Bob Dylan,Visions of Johanna
Campbell ain’t no Mona Lisa, and she don’t have the Highway Blues, neither. But she can smile and smile.
It’s the fault of unions and management. Period. They all wanted an unsustainable compensation. There’s a stark contrast between fair and extortive compensation. The American consumers didn’t exactly help, either. Manufacturers can only build what consumers demand. It was decades of feeling entitled to a Hollywood lifestyle.
Is it the end? Of course not. It’s a reality check. A very painful adjustment period. Kinda like detox. To be quite honest, it may be the greatest thing to happen to Detroit in the long run.
Aurelio: Nope. Right singer. Wrong song.
Campbell Brown gets the “cowboy mouth” _*/
Chrysler gets the “curfew plugs” _**/
the gang down at the union hall get the “sheet-metal memories” _***/
and the rest of us: “Who among them do you think could destroy you?”
Dylan said it all. And, y’know, it all REALLY SUCKS. All of it.
_*/ Sad-eyed Lady of the Lowlands
_**/ Ibid
_***/ Ibid
She wouldn’t be so scary if she’d move. Maybe do a profile shot every so often. Yeah, kinda like Keith when he’s doing his self-righteous thing….yeah, I know but I mean the extra bucket of special, self-righteous. Maybe she could wave “hello”. But she just stares. Just fucking stares. This is why I hate cats. And now, I must hate Campbell too.
The worst thing is that all probably means another Michael Moore movie.
I like using the scroll wheel to play Peek-A-Boo Campbell.
I wonder if she’s wearing jorts.
All of these temprarily laid off workers should show up and crash tailgate parties at bowl games and NFL games across the country.(other than Detriot home games, ’cause when congress has made you losers in the bailout olympics, who wants to watch those fucking losers!)
They should get hammered, raise hell, trash the place, start fights all the while letting everyone know that they WOULD be working, if Southern Senators weren’t fucking assholes….
Can I throw a shoe at Mitch now? He bitches about how awesome the Toyota plant is, and really for Kentucky they are excellent jobs, but forgets the big fucking Ford plant just down the road. I am convinced this is because the sad poor Ford worker from Louisville was in that Obama Infomercial. He will take them all down to get his revenge.
Mopar sucks. Er, sucked.
That said, the good autoworkers of the rust belt ought now to organize their shit and move to, say, Alabama and Kentucky, and fucking wait for the jobs to rain from the sky. While on welfare, red state welfare. And voting for whomever isn’t Shelby or McConnell.
At least the fucking Dodge Caravan is dead.
What does Campbell Brown think of this? Wonkette should get some award for the tackiest sell-out add ever shown on a blog that prides itself on being hip, ironic and snarky. What’s next, Viagra pop-ups?
Servo: I keep scrolling the box over her, hoping that it will act like an eraser, and take her clothes off….
In my minds-eye, I see tits!!
The Wonkette is now officially masturbation material
Rush: On the other hand, think of all the money this brings the Wonkette proprietors. I hope some of it translates into monetary benefits from our hobo editors, writers and intern slave-girl.
Aurelio:
Fine except it represents everything the “Editors” try not to be - maintstream. Besides, Campbell today is about 15 pounds heavier than her “JV” photo to my right. Hope they invest the monetary benefits wisely….
Fuck the unions. This really isn’t their fault but they are se wrong on so many levels. I can’t say it enough and even thinking the words “fuck the unions” brings a smile to my recession fearing face. Ugh, this is so ugly.
JEEBUS PEOPLE STOP TALKING ABOUT CAMPBELL SHE WILL BE GONE SOON.
shortsshortsshorts: Where will she go? Giant icon heaven?
mullingitover: Indeed — it would be more responsible to send them for a spa week in Arizona, as we did with our very own AIG executives.
shortsshortsshorts: Wow that was the greatest hour (CNN Weeknights 8pm) of television I have ever seen!
Hooray For Anything: Yup, he is. If only those fussy Chrysler employees hadn’t refused to work for table scraps and no health benefits, those socialist bastards.
Aurelio: She can finally return to being that woman I don’t watch on the tee vee, because I no con haz tee vee.
I know! We can talk about how blingee is officially advertising on the left tool bar. HOORAY FOR US
DarkSynergy: say hello to pat buchanan for me.
and mitch.
Why is it you never see Campbell and Aaron Brown together?
I can see more of her face!
Hope she wax her upper lip.
DarkSynergy: Yeah, fuck the unions. So what if they brought us the anti-child labor laws, Social Security, Worker’s Compensation for on-job injuries, the minimum wage, mine and manufacturing safety laws (since undermined by Chimpy and crew), the maximum work week and work day, the right to collective bargaining (rather than each individual worker going one-on-one with his corporate employer), etc.
Go luck in your Sisyphean struggle to get your GED.
I am so sorry for Toledo. Yes, I remember the John Denver tune. Always gets the worst rap—worse than Allentown. Such nice towns to grown up in. I am so sorry. Beyond the unions… beyond the put-downs… these were honest folks who found the American Dream was just beyond there reach. Seems as though everyone there that went corrupt did okay, including Catholic church individuals. So sad. I’m not from Toledo–have never lived there. But I’m sad for all of us when Jeep shuts down.
Hutch: their reach
The auto industry’s failure is clearly the fault of the worker’s union and not the greedy CEO’s mismanagement and lack of vision.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
The Campbell Brown ad on DailyKos actually moves text around and then Campbell jumps into the little box like a mugger or something. That’s waaaay bad. If she’s goning to be gone tomorrow can we at least see her legs?
S.Luggo: I used to be ambivalent about unions before but after all this, I’m ready to sing me some Woody Guthrie tunes
My god… the Campbell Brown ads are multiplying…
chascates: Yeah, if we’re all going to compete to be her obsessive stalker, we need a little look at what’s in the box. I might even turn straight for this, just so I can bond with the het boys. (Sloppy seconds…)
S.Luggo: As a college graduate, and totally literate, AND a fan of actual, real history, I can see that the unions have ran their course relative to your petty arguments long ago. I’m not saying that they aren’t needed in some capacity or another, but getting paid 30+ an hour to stand around and make sure the machine that’s doing your job doesn’t break down seems to be a bit excessive. The industry as a whole has had shit for leadership and their products prove this. Cling to your argument that they are saving the helpless children from back breaking work for little pay. God knows nothing drives better than a car that runs on the tears of overworked children. This collapse of the American auto industry is the companies faults, not the unions. Their cars suck major nuts. My resentment stems from an unrelated angle. I say good day.
chascates: Firefox 2.blah “View Background Image”; you get to see Campbell’s right hand reaching down to her nethers, which fade into image transition obscurity…
schvitzatura: Excellent. As I saved the jpeg it titled itself ‘cnn-skin.jpg.
“See jelly faced women all sneeze
See the one with the mustache say jeez
I can’t find my knees
The jewels and binoculars
Hang from the head of the mule
And these visions of Johanna
Make it seem so cruel.”
Make it all seem so cruel that it is.
DarkSynergy: Literate? I suggest you run your comment through the grammar-checker.
As a college graduate, and totally literate, AND a fan of actual, real history, I can see that the unions have ran their course relative to your petty arguments long ago.
I suggest you run a little reality check on your FAUX nooze rhetoric, as well.
~
Do they owe us a living?
Of course they do, of course they do.
I kind of have a thing for commas and I can has not a English degree.
rocktonsammy: You have to understand how promotions work at CNN. Campbell killed Aaron, ate his liver, and took his name and his time slot. Just as Aaron Brown did before to Bernard Shaw Brown.
schvitzatura: Yes. She’s actually a mermaid.
p-Sludge: Mermaids are hard to screw, so I don’t believes your theory.
Rush: I really don’t want to find out what might “pop-up” in a Viagra ad — especially if it involves Bob Dole.
Detroit: I would so totally not parachute me there.
Put your hands up for detroit!
They need your monies!
(fatty ass bass line)
shortsshortsshorts: Those are fighting words, coming from someone who drives a Jetta GLS with intermittently-functioning power windows.
Honestly, this isn’t new - my uncle worked in a Chrysler plant for 30 years (took early retirement a few years back) and they would have month or 6-week layoffs all the time - sometimes twice a year. The big difference here is that it’s all the plants at once, rather than ‘rolling’ furloughs - but it’s certainly not a new business ’strategy’ for them (insofar as US carmakers understand such a concept). Good to know they are sticking with business as usual.
oh noes!!! Campbell is gone! who cares about the auto industry! Campbell is gone!
I DEMAND an inquiry into the whereabouts of the missing Campbell Brown! Did Drew Peterson marry her and then kill her? Is she OJ’s last fling before jail? Is she a distant relative of Casey Anthony? Was she on Flight 19?
S.Luggo: The argument that unions are currently demanding excessive wages is weak. The real killer here is that the underfunded, tied to the markets, Defined Benefit Pension Plans are unsustainable (sort of like Social Security will be when we get to retirement age).
It isn’t the working age autoworkers we need to through out of the life raft (read assfuck). It’s the retired autoworkers. How fortunate (so to speak) that the Republican preferred method of bankruptcy has a way of dealing with that.
But watch all of the BS fly now, as we all get to repeat this little slice of fail in 25-30 years when we are ready to retire.
“throw” not “through”
…and English is my first and only language. Wheee!