Wonkette
After dreaming about winning both an Olympic Gold Medal and golf’s Ryder Cup tournament, in two-dimensions, George Bush’s dog Barney is awoken by the president himself. “You better wake up fella,” George Bush tells the dog. “There’s a lot of work to do around here.” Then George Bush makes Barney decorate the entire White House, which he does by running around aimlessly for a few seconds. Michael Phelps is in the White House, watching, judging. Why doesn’t Mrs. Beasley ever get to do anything? Sexism. Anyway, this is a great video for America right now. [YouTube]
Ron Paul is asking who financed this production.
KAREFULL GEORGE TEH CAMRA MAN WANTS TO THROW SHOEZ AT YOUZ!!!1!!!~!
It’s too late for this kind of positive publicity blitz. We already know he’s a snarky little a-hole who gets shoes thrown at him, just like his dad.
Also, why are their daughters now allowed to use chairs? They’re adults George, your tyrannical “no chairs” parenting should be over by now.
Obviously this was written by the same guys who authored our post-war Iraq policy.
This is off topic but…It’s Dynasty Time!
Fuck those dogs. And I’m sure Junior does.
I’ve said it before, but it’s as if I’m saying it for the first time:
W.T.F.
Yes, Barney. The only member of the entire Bush clan that is remotely tolerable. The dog bites, lest we forget.
This card is basically: We spent 8 years destroying what little was left of a once great Nation, and in our spare time we made this ridiculous greeting card. Merry Christmas!
It’s so ridiculous that it’s amazing. All it needs is a little more shoe throwing.
This is as articulate as I’ve ever seen him.
W, too.
There’s a lot of heavy petting in that video.
WAY OFF TOPIC:
From Ann Colter’s ‘My Life’ website page: “In 2001, Coulter was named one of the top 100 Public Intellectuals by federal judge Richard Posner in 2001.”
Intellectuals repeat the year twice in a sentence to make themselves look smarterish.
Does anyone else get the impression that this is Dubya’s projection of what he’s done for America? In this little film-a-clef, Barney = Bush, the White House = America, and he makes the whole place beautiful while spending his time trotting the corridors between naps.
I’d like to see the non-bubble alternate ending, where Barney wakes from his Olympic gold reverie to find the WH on fire, and must navigate through the poop-stained and mouldering halls to find one door he hopes to hell hasn’t been locked by the fleeing inhabitants who’ve left him behind in their compassionate haste. But why should we watch that when we’re all living it?
So here’s the new version of rock-paper-scissors, it’s shoe-pretzel-Bush
Pretzel chokes Bush
Bush dodges shoe
Shoe crushes pretzel
Scarab: “Top 100 Public Intellectuals”. That is based on the PUBINT score which is the product of how public they are and how intellectual they are. Coulter is Public enough to make up for her IQ deficits. For some perspective, Barney is also on the list.
This is the best that White House money could buy? It looks like it was written and produced by same crew that brought us the Joe the Plumber commercial.
Wow. The Bushes all talk so unrehearsed and natural like. Not at all stiff or scripted. Almost as if they were human.
I dreamed Phelps was judging me, too.
And what’s with the secret Robot binary instructions? 1010101010101010
i think i just threw up a little bit in my mouth. a few morne rounds of this video and HELLO size 4 New Year’s dress! also, teeheeheehee. Barney has stubby little legs!
I couldn’t watch it. Might be cute if Barney were a dumped dog (like the four we’ve adopted, with far fewer resources than that dip-shit in the WH. I detest fancy dogs. No, wait–I detest people who buy fancy dogs.
Anytime animals are involved I get angry, very angry and want to go kill a dog abusing person like the former chicken-fighting guy up the road.
mattbolt: Yeah but what hand motions do you use for that?
Who the fuck makes these things? At least John Edwards got some play out of HIS videographer.
mother of god that was awful
Scarab: No, this is lot more coherent.
Aren’t those opening horns the same ones that gave Josh shooting flashbacks. Not cool.
Will Barney pee all over the WH before the Obama dog moves in? You know, like how the Clinton staff removed all of the Ws from keyboards?
…Didn’t they do the same video last year? I distinctly remember a Daily Show parody - oh yeah, here’s a link: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=114250&title=barneys-holiday-extravaganza
That version is way better.
I call bullshit on this video. Dogs only dream about two things:
1. Bacon;
2. Humping other dogs.
Also, the Bush girls were sober.
Now I hate Michael Phelps.
Best Presidential Pets:
1. Herbert Hoover owned 2 alligators, for some fucking reason, and that is what caused the depression
2. Teddy Roosevelt had 4 Guinea pigs, which is nothing special, but what makes these dumb rodents so amazing is their whimsical turn-of-the-century names: Dr. Johnson, Bishop Doane, Fighting Bob Evans, and Father O’Grady. How badass are those names!
3. Calvin Coolidge owned a pygmy hippo, which in turn sired pretty much all of the pygmy hippos in North American zoos to this day
4. OBAMAPUPPY 08
Worst Presidential Pets:
1. William McKinley owned a yellow-headed parrot named Washington Post. It’s inappropriate to name a noble parrot after such an elitist East Cost Liberal rag.
2. George Washington had coonhounds named Drunkard, Taster, Tipler and Tipsy. He was the first American president to feed dogs booze.
3. Nixon’s dog Checkers, who did Watergate
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_Presidential_pets
These videos used to have elaborate plots and Karl Rove. The one year Ari Fleischer was playing poker or something, and he didn’t even work there anymore. Ahh, the good ol’ days of the Bush administration…
Anyway, what really gets me is how poorly acted this thing is. It’s remarkably bad. Is there anything Bush is good at?
mattbolt: Hey, I didn’t come here to learn stuff!
Serving America these last eight years?
Time for more eggnog and back under the bed.
I can’t see it work, but I bet Campbell Brown manages to get her mug in somewhere.
mattbolt: Which makes Teddy Roosevelt an elitist liberal for being the only person in the nation at the time who kept guinea pigs for purposes other than eating.
What in the name of Santa’s Lil Helper was that supposed to be? It’s like the guy who killed both my parents in a drunk driving accident just showed up at my front door singing Christmas carols and asked me for a cup of fucking hot cocoa,, and then asked if I had any Bailey’s to put in the hot cocoa.
Your dogs are obnoxious, your daughter needs to get up off the floor, and all of my shoes are now in a pile in front of the computer.
Scottish Terriers: the new hobo meat. Taste just like chicken.
Scarab: but does it say anything about world’s greatest drag queen and my idol???
i wonder if o’reilly will give laura the librarian a pinhead award for saying happy holidays instead of merry christmas?
you know these people have absolutely screwed up the nation seemingly beyond repair but they’ve got smarmy vomit-inducing nicetiness down cold!
The Barney Christmas video where Karl Rove screams about blue balls will always be the best one. And I just gave away the fact that I have seen all of the Barney Christmas videos. They were the best part of the Bush presidency. Well, at least until that shoe thrower came along.
I don’t know who arranged the seating, but damn it looks like Jenna is W-in-law’s pet. Babs, Laura and W have black terriers and are stroking them and yet W-in-law is doing the same.
Is this W’s passive aggressive way of sticking it to Jenna because she was tempted to vote for Hopey?
As awful as it is, it’s obvious more thought is put into these cutesy POSs — like the one with Bush looking for WMD in the friggin’ Oval Office — than running the country. Worst. President. Ever.
Mmmmmm….Everyone stroking,,,Stroking,,,STROKING the pets!!!! MMMMMMM!
Twee as fuck.
Awoken? Awakened?
So glad he only had girls.
I think Babs was stroking her kitty.
Oh man. That made me throw up.
Barney is the only likable one in the whole film, and even then I liked him better when he was biting reporters. Those Bush twins and better not quit their day jobs of being useless idiots — their acting runs the gambit of A to G and clearly the acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree with these two.
The voice of the daughter on the left sounds like its coming from a throat with a resolving chlamydia infection
Russian music. Couldn’t find any goddam Merkin music?
Made it one minute and seven seconds in before I had a seizure.
this is what makes me happy: they’ve become so fucking ossified in their bubble, that it’s clear they’re going to die when it’s time to leave. i’ve seen some bad, bad video in my time — that was the worst POS ever put together.
btw: was that a bunch of wh zombie staffers in the press room, or the ahem ‘real’ members of the media. kind of a striking contrast, them complying with Hitler’s propaganda cartoon while the only real journalist on earth chooses to hurl his shoes when the opportunity strikes.
JDHART: They’re all biters in that video.
It’s pointless to wonder angrily how many of my tax dollars went towards making that monstrosity, right?
And why, oh why, was it Olympic-themed?
Anonymous Office Zombie: They’re saving money for the house in Dallas, remember?
That is the gayest thing I have ever seen. And I’m a total fag hag so you know, that’s saying something.
I like how the married-off daughter is now camped at the foot of her identical-fraternal twin new husband, who owns her.
Have you ever compared their faces side-by-side? They look like brother and sister!
this is why barack o’bama was elected.
Poor Barney, having to move to that craphole in Dallas.
BTW, why did Not Jenna name her cat Willard after Mittens? Did Mittens get up in that?
how unbelievably sad is it that these videos are probably the greatest accomplishments of the bush presidency; it’s enough to make you want start throwing some shoes at a bitch.
I’ll have whatever Laura is on please … this blow/heineken light/xanax/pot/methadone cocktail just hasn’t gotten me in the xmas spirit.
Bush’s dog-themed Christmas cards have been puzzling me for years. Did his predecessors do this? Did the Clintons make a series of “Socks’ holiday adventure” home movies? How about Bush sr. or Reagan? ‘Cause if they did, I’ve forgotten or repressed it.
dmac: Is there anything Bush is good at?
Dodging shoes?
This is so cute that for just a split second I forgot that GEORGE BUSH IS A MASS-MURDERING SON-OF-A-BITCH!
And by bitch I mean Barbara, not Mrs. Beasley.
I hate when someone reads over my shoulder, but I love it when Campbell Brown stares at me.
4 MINUTES?!?! How does anyone expect anyone to finish that fuckin’ video? Longer than his whole goddamned presidency, sheesh!
I’d just like to note that the video has been up for two days now and has all of 30,000 hits. Video of Bush getting a shoe thrown at him: 1.2 million.