Wonkette
Here’s your favorite Xmas-card Congresslady, Loretta Sanchez, riding a hovercraft on her new horrible Christmas Card, paid for by the proud donors to Sanchez ‘68 Forever, LLC. While nothing will ever top the “Pet the Cat” card from, what, 2006?, we can all be proud that an actual congressperson is sending this stuff out to her fellow Americans, because why not. [OC Register]
I don’t know what it is about a semi attractive female pol riding something that vibrates and hums with her pussy, er, cat.
Damn, girl you need to get laid.
That is one ugly pussy cat.
Sleazy Rider. I wonder if the drugs are in the gas tank or stuffed inside the cat?
Wait till Bill O’Rielly sees that she did not use “Merry Christmas” on her card. Silly San Francisco values.
Her kitty is fierce.
Where’s the sister? They should’ve done a Thelma & Louise thing, and ditched the cat.
Maybe the double vision I’m experiencing due to the Omnipresent Giant Floating Upper Body of Campbell Brown, but Sanchez looks a lot like a badly-bleached… Campbell Brown. Who knew she was a proud member of Dykes on Bikes?
Or, I’m still drunk from last night. Both?
That cat looks pretty pissed off. And no wonder.
Can’t do any better that Johnny Carson…
Would you like to pet my pussy?
Sure, if you move that damned cat!
I thought that they had a helmet law in the blue commie socialist humanist muslin California?
I wonder if riding that motorcycle stimulates Loretta’s pussy.
Fun fact: The cat’s name is Fuckface Jones
It had to be done, Cambell.
http://image.blingee.com/images15/content/output/000/000/000/4b0/345140065_1093652.gif
That’s a cat? It looks more like an…Ewok…something.
They do have a helmet law in California, and Loretta is expressing her contempt for it with this card. Note: she put a disclaimer on the back of the card saying everyone should wear a helmet, or words to that effect. The disclaimer shows she was quite conscious of the violation depicted on the card.
Y’all stop hatin’ — pussy and wheels made America great. Let’s keep it that way.
The cat seems to know how awful the card is.
Sweet Loretta Sanchez
thought she was a woman
But she had an ugly cat
All the girls around her say
she’s got it coming
But she got it while she shat
Get back, get back
Get back to where you once belonged
Get back Loretta
Theodorick Of York: Carson said that to Raquel Welch, didn’t he? Raquel Welch once said that Chicago is one of her favorite states, so she deserved it.
Once in Carson’s live days when Buddy Hackett was a guest they returned from a commercial break and you could hear the audience roaring with laughter, and Johnny was in tears, too. Buddy, looking very pleased with himself, said, “Would you like for me to repeat that joke for the folks at home, Johnny?” to which Carson blurted, “Oh, no, NO!” Somewhere I heard that the joke Hackett told was “The Aristocrats,” but I’m not sure if that’s true. I’m sure that Buddy Hackett knew more than one joke that would freak the NBC censors out…
“Full of holiday cheer” on her Road King… is it 2-for-1 Kamakaze Night at the Screaming Chicken Saloon in San Bernadino?
friendlynerd: The animals…they always seem to know. When an earthquake’s coming, when somethings totally sucks, etc.
Insert “Dirty Sanchez” joke here.
When riding a real motorcycle, please remember to protect your head and pussy.
Larry McAwful:
I think it was Zha Zha Gabor (sp?)
BarthexDeRosa: That reminds me! There’s a shitty site where people submit when their pets are acting weird, and it’s supposed to be a warning for earthquakes! Batten down the hatches, New York state, there’s a grumbly puppy who either has a tummy ache or is the harbringer of untold natural disaster!
mattbolt: Oh right, link. http://petquake.org/
mattbolt: Thank you!
mattbolt: Holy shit thank you, I can go back to work now.
mattbolt: Hmm, wonder what the accuracy rate is.
This card is amazing! Why can’t my Congressperson send more time creating craptastic Christmas cards and less time legislating in my interest?
Wow, her pussy really gets around.
I thought all biker chicks were supposed to have a rack?
NoWireHangers: Your congressperson legislates in your interest?
this is like, what if they had redone “Alien” and instead of a skinny, drugged out John Hurt laying on a table having a scary alien baby burst from his chest it was instead the Natalia chick from CSI Miami with an even scarier ugly cat popping from her chest. On a motorcycle. In the desert… Why do all the lights in my office have trails?
Larry McAwful: Wow those are bygone days. Name me one performer living now that understands the importance of expending energy to keep the studio audience happy. Hackett has his flaws, to be sure, but in those days comedy really was a meritocracy. Now you can’t write on SNL without a degree from Harvard.
Fortunately Wonkette suffers from no such limitations…
Mr Blifil: Boy, does SNL suck. It doesn’t have to, but it does. I tuned in for the Sarah Palin business, but now that that’s over, I probably won’t bother.
SNL is a shining example of subpar product assembled by bland professionals. They’re too interested in celebrity gossip and not interested enough in comedy. Result: garbage.
I don’t get this business where they’re so high on Harvard graduates. It would be one thing if you actually needed a degree from Harvard in order to get their skits, but you don’t. It’s depressingly mediocre fare. I could write better skits, and I have.
The internet will save us all. The era of the paid comic might not be over yet, but it should be. Maybe the internet will kill off the bland, paid, mass-market “comedians” and the unpaid meritocrats will rise. Hopefully. Or we’ll all spend the rest of our days consuming gruel, forgetting how to be funny, and everyday life will become a series of Full House reruns.
Fun Fact #2: Her motorcycle seat has a print of my face on it. That’s what a generous campaign contribution got me.
Maybe next year she can flash us on Splash Mountain - it is in her district, after all.
I wonder if she told the cat the rules of the road: Gas, grass, or ass, no one rides for free.
slud! slud!
Leanin’ forward like that feels SOOOOOoooooo good when that engine’s rumblin’, Loretta.
Oh, and BTW CankleBiter — No way Sanchez is from the Bay Area. She’s from OC, home of Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm, where Ronnie Reagan entered national politics with his empassioned speech on behalf of presidential candidate Barry Goldwater. Reagan was old as shit back then.
‘Course, sister Condi Rice is a famous Bay Area figure who espouses at least one San Francisco value involving kitties.
I thought that cat was like a giant gopher or something. I saw the ears as eyes, and the eyes & nose as just a nose.
Godot: As a gopher myself, I am personally insulted. No way I’d sit in her lap.
Larry McAwful: Yeah, I can’t believe the way SNL wasted Hugh Laurie.
This is an abuse of the Franking privelege
DemmeFatale: They probably didn’t know about his 30 years of sketch/revue comedy experience. Simple mistake.
Just keep in mind, everyone. This person is helping to run your fucking country. That’s right. But doesn’t it feel better to be wrong?
The production is so bad they didn’t use a fan to blow her hair.
ManchuCandidate: The vibrations from the motorcycle pleases her pussy.
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: sorry I wasn’t replying to you…
user error.
Theodorick Of York: Snopes says it never happened.
The Snopes bit does have a short clip of Jane Fonda asking Carson about the story.
Oh, shit. This woman’s a Democrat, isn’t she?
Just for the next eight years, can all Democratic officials not do stupid things like this card, or hide illegal money in freezers, get any contractor breaks on houses (or whatever it is Rangel did) and, for the love of god, don’t have silly hair and say fuck Obama while selling a senate seat? Please? Just for eight damn years? Is that asking so much? Let’s make John Stewart’s writers work for their pay for a change.
If all Democrats agree to the above terms, then Hopey’s first order of business should be a presidential fiat proclaiming that anyone who calls us the Democrat Party is summarily deported to Haitistan or, alternately, waterboarded until they swear on the Republican’s Saint Ronald’s grave they will never drop the IC again.
Why Haitistan? Because all the stan countries in the world are so fucked up, I believe the State department should tip off innocent Americans as to the safety of tourism by just sticking a stan at the end of a screwed country’s name. Save us all a lot of trouble and the State Dept a lot of webspace.
I am so not vacationing in Albaniastan.
Strange. I posted this earlier and seems to have disappeared. Did I do something naughty?
Anyway, all I wanted to point out is she’s got nothing on Tymoshenko with a motorcycle. Here:
https://pi.library.yorku.ca/ojs/index.php/soi/article/viewFile/7970/7101/7877
And here:
http://thepotvinreport.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/yulia-tymoshenko2.jpg
Is it wrong that I am a bit turned on?