Wonkette
- EVERYTHING ABOUT DETROIT IS DEPRESSING: Now it’s the home of both the worst manufacturing economy AND, uh, newspaper economy: “The leading scenario set to be unveiled Tuesday would call for the Free Press and its partner paper, the Detroit News, to end home delivery on all but the most lucrative days—Thursday, Friday and Sunday.” Porn will still be available on Detroit’s Internet, however. [Romanesko]
Maybe its time to bring back Devils Night.
As if Detroit and the print media weren’t sad enough on their own. This is like watching a three-legged dog get hit by a car. In slow motion.
I’m looking out the window right now…. it’s pretty depressing.
…@Jim Newell
You may have inadvertently solved their readership problem! They should put porn in the newspaper!
rocktonsammy: They have that here in Boston. I saw a kid about to egg a Chrysler, but right before he threw the egg he said, “Nah… it’s bad enough already,” and went and egged a Tercel instead.
At least they still have the Lions!
Time to build Delta City and patrol it with a bunch of Robocops.
and don’t forget Kid Rock
Canmon (the Inadequate): Deepthroat: And Bob Seger! And Ted Nugent! And some white kid who does rap!
Wow, now I’m depressed.
Canmon (the Inadequate): …ehhhh, the Pistons aint to shabby.
Deepthroat: …and RoboCop!
When is Detroit not depressing?
Delicious: When you don’t have to think about Detroit, only then is it not depressing.
The entire state of Michigan makes me want to cry tears of vomit.
Who is the happiest man in jail right now? Kwame Kilpatrick is probably thinking, “Jail ain’t bad; I don’t have to pretend to know what to do with the people who are about to be unemployed, homeless & rioting in the streets.”
Here’s a happy photo gallery: The Remains of Detroit .
The correct flabbergastic exclamation to this story would be to say “Freep!!” but that’s actually the name of their website.
Ironic Sadnesses.
SayItWithWookies: Ah, well said.
DETROIT (AP) Mayor Robert Mugabe declared today that there was “no cholera” in the city. He went on to blame the collapse of all municipal institutions on a “British imperialist plot.”
StephanieInCA: Say what you will about Detroit, but Michigan is still somewhat solvent…. Same can’t be said for California at this point.
Booyah!
Now that we’ve bailed out Michigan and New York who’s next?
Ms. Warsaw: Crawford, Tex.
Don’t forget about ALICE COOPER…. though he resides in Phoenix now, he claims his Detroit roots as much as he does his Phx roots.
I think it should all be blamed on the Lions. If they didn’t suck so much, people would feel better about buying cars made in Detroit. Who wants to buy a car made buy Joe the car builder when he is pissed off about his team sucking? who knows what he will for get to put on the car!
The rest of the NFL should forfeit all of their remaining games vs Detroit for eternity.. Then folks will run out to buy cars!
Hey, you got Michael Moore. (Is that a good thing or bad thing?)
gjdodger: Bush is handling that… their village idiot just bought a house in Dallas. Now Cindy Sheehan can piss off people in that white-supremacist neighborhood. They don’t want ANYTHING else to do with Washington DC. 8 years of being the second home to the Worlds Chief idiot, having him GONE is bailout enough for them!
azw88: Trust me, Joe the Car Builder is probably a bigger hockey fan. They don’t call us Honkeytown for nothing.
Bagglio Ordonez: Honkeytown??? I thought for sure that HONKEYtown would be a city somewhere in the south
azw88: You haven’t seen some of our suburbs.
Delicious: When it’s in your rearview mirror.
“…filled with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It’s worse than Detroit.”
Uh, some folks actually like a little reportage with their sales circulars. Curtailed home delivery=less trash. The online edition is not bad, except it reports on my fucked up ex-hometown.
Barrett808: Here’s one for better or worse:
http://www.detroityes.com/home.htm
ehh - i had a great day in detroit. the only depressing bit was having to run an errand in the Renaissance Center (GM death star/hq)…lots of befuddled workers shuffling around. some yutz has a booth in the Wintergarden selling seriously cut-rate off GM merchandise - buy a Hummer onesie (collectors item?) for your new infant, save a corporation!
Home delivery means stepping over bodies after the unemployment checks bounce. So can you blame the Free Press? The only exception might be the path leading to Kwame’s three SUV carport.
It’s “Morning in America“.
mynameisdetroit:
(Knock-knock-knock, Penny? Knock-knock-knock, Penny? Knock-knock-knock, Penny?) Death Star? Ahem. You have it backwards. In “Star Wars“, the Death Star destroyed enemy planets. The GM Death Star will implode, taking its entire supplier chain with it and 2 million jobs. You are welcome.
— Mitch “Puss-Filled Turtle Face” McConnell
From the article: On the other days, the publisher would sell single copies of an abbreviated print edition at newsstands and direct readers to the papers’ expanded digital editions.
Fuck newsprint! Everyone go home and peer at your little electronic screens. Or whup out your Blackberry PDA cell phone thingies. We could even implant a chip in your brain and eliminate the middle man. Just hook you up directly to Wolf Blitzer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfhsS-KMFL4&feature=related
If you ignore the music, you can see that an area, a CITY that was once packed with houses, businesses, and most importantly, FRIENDLY WHITE FOLKS THAT NONE OF YOU LIBERALS WOULD BE AFRAID OF, turned into a desolate, abandoned war-ground. The city doesn’t even have the money to knock the rest of the abandoned crap down because Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick spent it all on text messages about “Benz Chili Bowl.”
I spent most of lastnight researching this shit (because I decided never to have a life again), so I am a self-appointed expert after spending my first year of college dodging bullets there and then researching it last night. FAKTZ.
bitchincamaro: Barrett808: These essays really bum me out. I have lots of family from Michigan and some of them lived in the Big D. It used to be a great place - they told stories about lovely summer evenings on Belle Isle, for example. Now the whole city is just crap. I’m trying to think of something snarky to say… oh yeah, well, at least we’ll always have Ann Arbor.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Lion and Tigers!
And Bears! No, wait that’s Chicago.
President Beeblebrox: shortsshortsshorts: That footage is depressing. It reminds me of Newark, which was once a nice city. Now the problem is so huge that it’s just overwhelming. Nobody, not even Hopey, can solve it. Have a nice day!
Turns out there’s a silver lining to Detroit’s collapse: The local strippers had to reduce their rates. At least everyone can party into the apocalypse.
This news was reported, of course, by a newspaper that won’t exist after Tuesday. So you know where the unemployed reporters are going to be on Wednesday.
They should seriously consider adding a Page 3, akin to The Sun:
http://www.page3.com/
Just to make it interesting they should have certain days with nude male models