Wonkette
- ALL IS FORGIVEN, PEGGY: OK so last week she forgot that George Bush was President during the 9/11 attacks, but this week holy crap! Here’s what Peggy Noonan calls Rod Blagojevich in a column titled “Rectitude Chic”: “a lipless, dull-featured, wig-wearing moron with a foul-mouthed harridan of a wife.” HA HA HA HA HA we may return to her column for more “analysis” later in the day, after we have had a few more cups of coffee and an 8-ball. [Wall Street Journal]
“Shrew” just wouldn’t have had the same comic effect.
Damn girl, double the Xanax intake and you turn into some kind of anti-Serbian Mr. Blackwell! Well done!
sanantonerose: Kiss me, Kate!
God, I hate harridan wives… except when I love them. Harridan wives: you can’t live with ‘em, you can’t live without ‘em.
One day, I want to get really hammered with her and trade long-winded Victorian-era strings of barbed insults.
M’lady, I must protest that thou art a foolish fishmonger, a foul-headed knave, a scandalous trollop and a beef-witted cow-jockey!
You should have had the good sense to do the 8ball BEFORE you even picked up the WSJ.
Can I come over?
Yeah um, i had to look it up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harridan#Harridan
MathewBrooks:
So you’re saying Peggy Noonan paints Warhammer 40,000 figurines in her spare time? Bet there’s a cup of almond tea and a plate of madeleines on the table beside the paint brushes.
Peggy won’t notice the recession until the world runs out of Percocet.
Please, SKS, no Noonan commentaries without teh blingee goodness! This will also give you time to get that 8-ball working.
Peggington’s what-iffery puffery on the *potential* of union corruption ignores the *reality* of boardroom corruption. Ah, the certainty of blind ignorance, what comfort that must be.
Alright, I bit the bullet and read the damned thing, but I have no idea how to summarize what I read. I mean, I know it’s our Pegs, but that was some all-out rambling and topic-jumping.
My favorite part was when she lamented how businesspeople these days are just tappin’ away on these derned plastic keyboards an’ makin’ money appear, nobody knows how, it’s all just sorta a big mystical cloud of imagination. Haha, Pegs doesn’t understand how business or computers work, everyone laugh.
V572625694: I hate men! Except when I don’t.
“Rectitude” sounds like a dirty word.
Rectitude shmeck-tit-dude. The point is that this Rod-Fraud Blah-Goy-Annoy-a-Bitch is uniting our country. And that was supposed to be the job for another boy from Illinois…
Serolf Divad:
Can’t live with ‘em, can’t bury ‘em in a shallow grave!
I think Peggy forgot her Lithium this morning. That column was even more jackassian, rambling and incoherent than usual. (Yes, yes, I’m damning her with faint praise.)
I’m adding “harridan” to my daily lexicon. Thx fer da english edjucashons Peggy!
…geez Sara K., its 10:00am and you haven’t had your first 8-Ball yet?! I thought this thread was a little lacking little something!
“There is no sign, none, that the Internet has made our nation more literate, or deep, and many signs it has made us less so, u no?”
Obvs Pegs hasn’t paid a visit to Wonkette.
…“Harridan”
I would have personally used “gutter trollop” or “alley skank”, but then again I’m blakk.
I actually think it is his own hair. My cousin’s husband is of Serbain extraction, and has a thick, luxurious, jet-black mane. He somehow manages to get a cut that doesn’t make him look like a 70’s porn star, though.
I dunno - Blago’s wife turns me on. She’s got that “good in bed” look, is a proficient swearer, and backs up her man with ferocity.
She’s my dream girl.
But did Peggy haggle for a Christmas tree?
Did she talk shit about Delay too? or only Dems.
Jeez I can see why our Wonkette punted on creatively interpreting Pegg’s column until after a few pots of coffee. It’s certainly a target-rich environment for addled thot, u no?
And what’s this about impugning the utility of the inter-tubes in the classroom? Has Peggs never cruzed pr0nsites during recitation?
sanantonerose: They don’t call him “The Immortal Bard” for nothing:
Carry him gently to my fairest chamber
And hang it round with all my wanton pictures:
Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters
And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet:
Procure me music ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;
And if he chance to speak, be ready straight
And with a low submissive reverence
Say ‘What is it your honour will command?’
Let one attend him with a silver basin
Full of rose-water and bestrew’d with flowers,
Another bear the ewer, the third a diaper,
And say ‘Will’t please your lordship cool your hands?’
Some one be ready with a costly suit
And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease:
Persuade him that he hath been lunatic;
And when he says he is, say that he dreams,
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
This do and do it kindly, gentle sirs:
It will be pastime passing excellent,
If it be husbanded with modesty.
The only people who trash the internet are people who have no fucking idea what the internet is. Honestly, I don’t know how I survived in the Before Google era. Back in B.G. times, what the hell would we do if we wanted to find an address, or find out who won the Best Picture Oscar in 1995? Use ancient maps and atlases like we’re 18th century peasants or something? u no?
It might just be the meth hangover, but that column kind of made me cry.
In order to save everyone’s time, here’s Dame Nooner’s column edited down to remove everything that hasn’t already been said elsewhere:
The man who sells Christmas trees on Manhattan’s 96th Street and Lexington Avenue, and who knows the habits of a neighborhood that encompasses the wealthy, the not-wealthy and the getting by, said business is slow, “down at least 25%” from last year. He predicted it would pick up, but expected an increase in the people who see a stated price as the starting point of negotiations. “There’ll be more hagglers. ‘The recession, I’m bleedin’, work with me.’”
V572625694:
And in once sentence: “The Christmas tree market sucks, ‘yall, so we’re all fucked.”
Oh so now Mrs. Pay-Rod is a harridan just because she attempted to land numerous high paying jobs in return for favors and is recorded monosyllabically grunting and swearing about baseball and the size of her payoffs? I cry sexis….wait, I looked, that pretty much is the definition of a harridan.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
That was a nice paragraph, but seems more the last good tail-flap of a dying coho salmon after it spent the last part of its lifetime swimming upstream. The rest of her column is her typically oblivious and incoherent par-for-the-course, even if it does have an uncharacteristic unity of theme, what with it starting and ending with the Christmas tree vendor.
This is my favorite Noonanity of the day:
There’s something else going on, a new or renewed sense of national shame. Or communal responsibility. Or a sense of reckoning.
Peggy, those are three entirely different things. One should not talk about rectitude when one’s own moral compass is set to “North, West or South.” Just sayin’, u no?
MathewBrooks: wow, if she’s that kind of Harridan, then we better all look the fuck out.
SayItWithWookies: Peggers is just getting down with her inner Dylan:
“Because something is happening here
“But you dont know what it is
“Do you, Mister Jones?”
V572625694: Loved that, thank you.
So I had to look it up, OK.
harridan:
1700, “one that is half Whore, half Bawd” ["Dictionary of the Canting Crew"]; “a decayed strumpet” [Johnson], from Fr. haridelle “a poore tit, or leane ill-favored jade,” [Cotgrave, 1611], in Fr. from 16c., of unknown origin.
This is convenient shorthand. Because you can probably call even call your sister in law a harridan to her face without having to get divorced. Where as “decayed strumpet” or “half Whore, half Bawd” would be viewed as entirely over the line.
AngryBlakGuy:
Ahh…and there is the rub. Unlike Pegs, you lack the primitive compulsion to consult the thesaurus when you write.
totoro: …or foreplay in the McCain household.
MarieDeGournay: This is sheer bliss:
http://www.shakespeare-online.com/sonnets/29.html
Sweet Peggy delightfully captures the spirit of the season. The world had been longing for a revision of “A Christmas Carol” from Scrooge’s POV: “Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”
You betcha!
If you’re a vibrant member of a church in America, or a casual member of a vibrant church, you’re part of something.
I prefer the latter. Why be an active member of anything when you can just be a passive member of a dynamic movement. Just like passively supporting an exciting political candidate–you don’t even need to vote, just slap on a bumper sticker and you’re good!
I am not including our newly famous Blago. Rarely has there been such a case in which the sin is perfectly represented by the physical presence of the sinner…The minute I saw him I thought, That’s exactly what a guy like that would look like! And then I thought: Oh, God bless him, because it’s kind of a gift when things look as they are. Not all is shade and shadow, some things are hearteningly obvious.
…Unlike secret muslin terrorist socialist son of Malcom X born in Kenyanesia B. Hussein Obama!!!
mattbolt: When reading a Noonie column, keep in mind that
(a) She authored the phases “a kinder, gentler nation” and “a thousand points of light” for George Bush Sr. She’s been recycling those phrases (in one form or another) ever since.
(b) The Pegster inhales a tube of model glue and chugs a tumbler of Stolly before even considering writing anything.
When will Wonkette admit their secret crush on Dame Peggy and ask her to the dance already. Or are you waiting for her to ask you on Sadie Hawkins?
I prefer “fishmonger” to “harridan”. The connotation of foul odor has more impact than mere “shrill and loud”.
Scottie: But to republicans a ‘fishmonger’ might be a compliment because at least something is being mongered, indicating a functioning free fish market.
The Blago witch is just a metaphorical stand-in for that real harridan of Peggy’s world, Nancy Reagan. All that stood between Peggy’s head and Ronnie’s ass was the brittle gaze of Dame Nancy.
H! A! Double R I! D-A-N spells Harridan!!
(sorry… couldn’t help myself.)
mattbolt: Why, you must be alluding to this gem of a passage:
In America, you don’t have to worry that kids won’t go online, you have to worry the minute they do. The Internet is not a gifted teacher, but only another limited resource. There is no sign, none, that the Internet has made our nation more literate, or deep, and many signs it has made us less so, u no?
Proof positive, if any is called for, that Miss Peggington Noonington reads Wonkette with religious zeal; an enthusiasm for snark and buttsecks references that would make Ken Layne blush.
SayItWithWookies: That was my favorite bit too … “Something is in the air, but I’m damned if I know what it is. It could be one thing, or it could be another. Or maybe it’s just me, who knows”.
She gets paid $$$$$$ to write this stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BczlCfajnJg
How did the Mercury and Apollo programs bring everybody together?
“Keep the kidz off the internets. They’ll only find all the pr0n.”