2:02 pm December 11, 2008

by Jim Newell

GLENGARRY ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Ha ha, go read famous blog reporter Choire Sicha’s one-act about America’s governor over at, uh, Salon. It is comical. (“BLAGO: Sensitive? My asshole is sensitive. I want these fuckers fucked.”) Also, this is a delightful painting from Chicago’s Lauri Apple. [Salon, Chicagoist]

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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 35 comments }

Borat December 11, 2008 at 2:06 pm

Is that artwork from Why My Daddy is a Republican?

Mr Blifil December 11, 2008 at 2:07 pm

I will be witchyu in a why-el. Right now dere’s a ting I godda doo.

Lascauxcaveman December 11, 2008 at 2:08 pm

“I think we’re gonna need a bigger parachute.”

ManchuCandidate December 11, 2008 at 2:09 pm

Blaggy: That watch costs more than you car, Barry. I got $970,000 in kickbacks last year. How much you make? You see pal, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing. Nice guy? I don’t give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna put your friend in your seat – kickbacks! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you motherfucker? You can’t take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don’t like it, leave.

whatever_dc December 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm

ok wonkette evil commie powers that be: last night my computer went NUTS when i clicked on the ass backwards story and now you’re preventing me from commenting on my hero and idol ann coulter’s (the greatest drag queen ever!!!) article!!!

why do you people HATE AMERICA???

gurukalehuru December 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm

I just never get tired of saying blagodicks.

OffTheRecord December 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Oh my god. Someone must get together a little wonkette acting troupe and perform Chorie’s script. I would do it myself, but I have no friends.

gurukalehuru December 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

In that picture, doesn’t he look like Janet Reno?

Canuckledragger December 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Ah yes, Glengarry Glen Ross. Or, as the cast called it, “Death Of A Fuckin’ Salesman.”

Death is too good for this “salesman.” Sharing a cell for ten-the-hard-way with three black linebackers named Bubba, however, is OK by me.

Salesman? Pfttt! Why can’t Blaggy close a deal?

Theodorick Of York December 11, 2008 at 2:18 pm

I can’t wait for Hefty Blag’s new book about his life in Chicago politics…

“Fucking Mother Fuckers And The Mother Fucking Fuckers Who Fucked Them”
Joliet Graybar Press – Hardcover $149,995.00

shortsshortsshorts December 11, 2008 at 2:20 pm

I fucking love fucking swearing as much as the fucking next guy, but I don’t think I have ever seen so many “fucks” come from a person’s mouth, like fucking ever.

bago December 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

You ever hear of a toupee oath?

Yeah.

Good. Because you just made one.

whatever_dc December 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

oops — never mind…it’s working again and now i can’t think of anything clever to say about my idol because i’m so in love with him!!!

ManchuCandidate December 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=196737]Canuckledragger[/re]:
Because the fuckers won’t give Blaggy any coffee. Coffee’s for closers, Canucklehead.

bago December 11, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Alright, I see the fucks per verb ratio as reaching
almost .8 in NY,
.6 in the rainy ass NW,
and probably .6 in SF, but only because they’re pervs.

Decent enough weather and all.

shortsshortsshorts December 11, 2008 at 2:27 pm

[re=196751]bago[/re]: In my wonderful city of SF, we refer to it as “assfucking,” so “fucking” does not exactly exist as a word.

LittlePig December 11, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Good grief. I thought you were kidding.

I had no idea the Salon folks were so Wonkettish.

freakishlystrong December 11, 2008 at 2:31 pm

Blagodicks has the greatest fucking pile of yiff on his head in history.

FMA December 11, 2008 at 2:31 pm

It’s like a fucking episode of fucking Deadwood with even more “fucks.”

2druk2phluq December 11, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Daddy, what does our governor mean by fuck them, fuck them up their stupid fucking asses, you fucking ass clown motherfucking cock sucking assholes? Is it bad?

freakishlystrong December 11, 2008 at 2:42 pm

Oh Jesus..yesterday asses and poop, today fucking..bettah!

Capitol Hillbilly December 11, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Always be closing: words to live by.

Fly-over Correspondent December 11, 2008 at 2:59 pm

The Smoking Man works for Blago? Why didn’t Fox Moulder try to warn us?

problemwithcaring December 11, 2008 at 3:03 pm

[re=196746]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I know. It’s like, fuck!

metropolitan December 11, 2008 at 3:06 pm

WTF? since when did maureen dowd start writing for Salon?

villageatrois December 11, 2008 at 3:09 pm

Blagodicks might wanna do a little more crystal meth before making deals on the phone. His subtlety is kinda under the top.

God Hates Frogs December 11, 2008 at 3:55 pm

If Hopey would appoint Blago as ambassador to Zimbawe that would be win/win.

bitchincamaro December 11, 2008 at 4:04 pm

Netflix downloads of Glengarry Glen Ross are up. Way fucking up.

[must find substitute for F word; all meaning lost.]

Dildo Baggins December 11, 2008 at 4:06 pm

I do hate to toot my own fucking horn, but I made the fucking Glengarry Glenross comparison days ago, on this very fucking page. Still, Choire has the idea nailed pretty good, just like Blago’s gonna be under some of the scenarios we’re contemplatin’.

obfuscator December 11, 2008 at 4:14 pm

I don’t know art, but I know what I like.

Fuck, also.

wickedlittledoll December 11, 2008 at 4:43 pm

Fuckin’ golden post
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/

LBOtomist December 11, 2008 at 4:53 pm

[re=196746]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Obviously not reading my unfunny but heavily anglo-saxon catharsis type posting on weekends. OH, well, what the fuck do you fucking expect from some fucking fucker in fucking short fucking shorts. Fuckin’ a.

stopmebeforeitypeagain December 11, 2008 at 9:10 pm

[re=196761]freakishlystrong[/re]: Yeah. His hair fucking grew hair. Maybe the motherfucker grew hair, y’know, right INTO his fucking skull, and now his brain has dandruff.

DemmeFatale December 11, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Hey!
What’s with the “art?”
Am I the only one that thought of Janet Reno?

TGY December 12, 2008 at 6:37 am

[re=196746]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Yeah. Fuck the fucking fuckers. And if they have any friends, fuck those fuckers, too.

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