Wonkette
Having lost pretty much everything else, forever, the wingnuts have focused all of their intellectual firepower on a single foolproof argument: Barack Obama cannot be president, because they say he’s a scary African. Somehow this important issue has come before the United States Supreme Court, twice! And so far, our communist Highest Court has refused to even consider the crucial situation! Today, the justices again spit on the legal efforts of Real Americans.
We have regrettably failed to follow this story closely, but the basic complaint is OH MY GAWD A NIGRA BECOME A PREZIDENTZ.
In a brief order, the Court, as expected, turned aside a New Jersey voter’s plea for the Court to determine if President-elect Barack Obama was qualified to run for the White House — that is whether he was a “natural born citizen.” The stay application came in the case of Donofrio v. Wells, Secretary of State of New Jersey (08A407). This marked the second time in recent weeks for the Court to turn aside such a challenge; the first came on Nov. 3, in Berg v. Obama (08A391). The Court, in neither instance, gave reasons for turning down the applications. In neither case did the Court seek a response, thus indicating it had little interest in either or had found them to be completely without merit.
Thanks, George W. Bush Junior, for stacking the Supreme Court with a bunch of socialist Africans.
Good decision by SCROTUM or whatever. Most people are natural born anyway, except test-tube babies and clones but they’re not yet old enough to run for president.
This is just so they can do the same thing for Piyush Jindal in 4 years.
LOLZ!!!!1!
And to think they did such a heroic job in 2000 of stopping Al Gore from stealing the election just ’cause he got more votes and then not allowing the glorious terrible 9/11 happen which made George Bush Jr. such a Hero.
Damn! Next thing you know, Ahhhhhh-nold will get to run for Prez-dent!
Why is it that every time I see that Barry picture all I can think of is “Ubuntu”, as in the flavor of Linux? Damn my nerdiness!
Predictably, freepers and wingnuts are already screaming foul on this development, in every newspaper silly enough to legitimize this insane waste of SCOTUS time…let’s first visit the Baltimore Sun, where one intellectual giant calling him/her/itself “Oh Really Fool” has this to say:
So the POTUS is there to “execute” the constitution… That is what this President Elect will do. First, he is ineligible to be president due to citizenship issues (violates the Constitution prior to taking office). Second, the Secretary of State is ineligible due to being Senator and voting for a raise (violating the Constitution). That is TWO violations of the Constitution before Uh, Uh, Uh, Obama even is sworn into office and the SCOTUS allows it. “Execute” the Constitution he will do. Way to go idiots!
I’d swear that was a fake post, but it says idiots, not morans, so I’m guessing it’s a legit tinfoilhatter.
I can’t wait until they appeal this all they way to the International Court of Justice, in Europe, at the Hague.
i agree with the right wingers. why should a guy who is not allowed to join the best country clubs in the USA be allowed to be president? boggles the mind.
I still can’t figure out why Thomas even bothered with this, aside from his being a gas-huffing moron, but we knew that about him already.
I blame Clarence Thomas.
Well done, SCOTUS. As we say down south, even a blind hog finds an acorn every once in a while.
Why is the Supreme Court in the tank for a half-breed Muzlin terrorizer? McCain/Palin!1!!1!!
To all the wingnuts who stood on the steps of the SCOTUS praying for the Court to intervene, please suck a bag of Christmas dicks.
Happy Holidays!
All hail the victorious cheetah-ass-hatted One.
ignatius_riley: Freepers ARE Wingnuts..
Me thinks Clarence Thomas is a wee bit jealous; he’s supposed to be the most successful African in the USA, damnit! I mean since no one came forward to say Barry sexually harassed them by putting a pubic hair in their Coke or by telling [lame] Long Dong Silver jokes, Barry has ruined it for Clarence by winning cleanly & scandal-free.
freakishlystrong: yes, but not all wingnuts are freepers. they are in fact all insane, however.
PrairiePossum: Antisemite.
I’d love it if I get to beat the asses of a few protesting wingnuts over by the WWII Memorial on Inauguration Day.
PrairiePossum: Wait, you also said the Christ-killing “Happy Holidays!” WAR ON christMAS RIGHT HERE ON WONKETTE
Is nowhere safe?
ignatius_riley: That is awesome - and I hope you had fun at The Flying Pig on Saturday!
Let’s be fair here: Donofrio wasn’t accusing Obama of being a scary African; he was accusing him of being a scary Englishman.
Don’t you people see? Hopey’s going to ruin the economy by making all take a 4 o’clock break for tea and crumpets! And we’ll all have bad teeth! And he’ll make the radios play nothing but the Spice Girls.
Laugh all you want, but when some redcoat in a big furry hat is poking you in the ass with a bayonet to force you to sing “God Save the Queen” at a Yankees/Cubs cricket match, don’t come whining to me!
We’ll be eating bangers and mash, people! BANGERS AND MASH!!!!!1!!!!!
Modern courts are Satanic libral innovations. All true Christians Conservatives know that trial-by-ordeal and trial-by-combat are the only two God approved methods of judgment.
PrairiePossum: All 8 of them!
ignatius_riley: Oh that’s right..we see them all the time at teh AOL as well!
Hostile Michigander: I PREFER MY TOAD IN THE HOLE!!!111!
It is hard to tell whether this will be some ongoing childish replay we’ll hear throughout the administration, or an endless source of mirth and merriment. Probably both.
OT, but we have crushed Powerline and the others at EcoDriving:
Rank Team Name Total Score Total Players
1 Wonkette Readers 46,654,484 1617
2 Power Line Readers 6,458,425 200
Hostile Michigander:
Nope. Spotted Dick for this crowd.
Of course it could be worse and it could be Scotsmen forcing you to eat Haggis.
TGY: Cheetahs are now endangered: UN: Cheetah and dolphin among new species in danger of extinction
I haz a sad.
Hostile Michigander:
And spotted dick!
Hostile Michigander: steak and kidney pie a la mode. the horror.
Didn’t we already go over this when Morgan Freeman was President?
ManchuCandidate:
Agghhhh! Jinx!
Barack Obama cannot be president, because they he is a scary
Africanblack man.Fixed your post. I hope.
ManchuCandidate: Theodorick Of York: Spotted dick? Won’t you guys leave Fred Thompson alone?
ignatius_riley: The right wing believes that the Hague, both the institution and the city, is a creation of Illuminati such as Mother Teresa and Ignatz Mouse.
Therefore, the appeal will be lodged with the editorial board of the Washington Times.
I live next door to the rarest of people: a Yanqui who knows his geography. He says the Kenyan/Hawaiian kerfuffle is easily explained because Hawaii is nestled right next to Kenya on the world map he checked at CIA.gov.
Of course, he ALSO says that the SCOTUS won’t hear these cases because all those liberal activist judges there are in the tank for Hopey. “Fuck,” says he, “if Renquist were still in charge, he wouldn’t even allow a darkie to VOTE for President, let alone BE one.”
There is a For Sale sign on my lawn, but it’s covered in snow.
Sussemilch: Except Morgan got a pass because he’s also Gawd. I mean, what else trumps that?
superfecta: It was truly a dream come true, much like today’s SCOTUS blog posts.
ManchuCandidate: Damn, you beat me to it. SPOTTED DICK!!!!
My grandfather came to America as an illegal immigrant Pole from Austria-Hungary in 1913. He’s dead now, but there are those who probably want to dig him up and ship his remains back to Austria-Hungary, even though that country no longer exists.
This probably disqualifies me from becoming president, since my grandfather was still alive when I was born. Hell, I’m probably disqualified from citizenship, for that matter. Maybe if I point out that I had an ancestor on my mother’s side who served in the Revolution the court will grant me clemency. Otherwise, it’s back to the Austro-Hungarian Empire with me!
Who’s emperor now, anyway? Franz Joseph V or something? I should probably find out.
http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/32114_Supreme_Court_to_Nirth_Certifikit_Troofers-_Go_Away
Even the LGF guys aren’t buying it and rightly make the connection to Paultardia.
WHAT THE HELL IS “because they he is a scary African?”
I am ENRAGED by my confusion.
Of course now you understand why THEY had to frame Tim McVeigh. He would have protected us from this Muslin threat. People read your Turner Diaries!
I’m waiting for Scalia to attach an opinion to one of these cert denials that says: “GET OVER IT”.
Hey, it could happen.
4tehlulz: Hey now, the War on Christmas is no laughing matter. There are so many innocent victims… http://s457.photobucket.com/albums/qq292/ravenspeakr/
Canuckledragger: S’cool. I once had a Freeper co-worker who thought Alaska and Hawaii were next to each other, because they were nestled so nicely in that little square ocean on the bottom left corner of the map of the USA.
That bar closed, thank Jeebus.
loudmouthredhead: ummmm….not being black? HEY-OH!
I can see a real problem sometime. Remember how the Weird Sisters proclaimed Macbeth had nothing to fear from Macduff because he was Scottish too? No, because Macbeth had nothing to fear from any “man born of woman.” And Macduff had the ready answer, for he was not, he said, born of woman, for he was “from mama’s belly untimely ripped.” !!
This means if you were delivered by c-section, you were not in fact born at all! This is an amazing precedent, one never seen elsewhere in all the world’s law or its literature, I think, but it’s binding, because, well, He de Bard!
loudmouthredhead: i hear yah
Larry McAwful: That’s right — now only NATIVE ‘MURCANS are qualified! Jesus H., come 2012 it’s going to be the White Tipi! Why does N.J. hate freedom?
I can still believe he’s a black nationalist Muslim. The Supreme Court can’t take that away from me!
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Charleton Heston is My President
Bowdoin: You mean like how Eowyn could kill the Black (African?) King of the Nazgul (town in Nigeria?) in LOTR cuz she was “No man”?
Woodwards Friend: Good ole’ Blacky Clarence is the bitterest most evil man on the planet. That other black clown–not Obama, Alan Keyes–is just crazy. Well, crazy and mean.
What’s the deal with Clarence? Does he have to use a sticky roller over the white folks’ robes to get the lint off? Polish shoes? What the fuck is wrong with this guy–he is one of the most unqualified justices ever to serve and is only there so Daddy Bush could say he’d appointed a negro. Even Scalia calls Uncle Thomas crazy. And does it when taking questions after a speech.
Time for Uncle Thomas’ anger to bring on a stroke, methinks. Or perhaps he can just choke on his own bile.
Bangers and mash. Toad in the Hole. Haggis.
Come on, gang, nothing beats Blood Pudding for creepy English fare.
4tehlulz:
Oh–has the War on Christmas staretd already?
4tehlulz:
I declare War on Wingnuts.
When Obama takes office, I’m in favor of making all wingnuts move to the back of the bus.
We should replace “In God We Trust” with “In Darwin We Trust.”
DustBowlBlues: Maybe Thomas’ anger is really all self-directed, cause he never woulda got to go to college at all if it hadn’t been for affirmative action, which he hates.
Just trying out my divine new Happy Holiday’s avatar or picture thingie. I wanted a Coke can but thought the pubic hair wouldn’t show so well.
Hostile Michigander: well, I say fuck this president-elect shit then and make Barry KING!!!
Hey, the King Hussein guy of Jordan, like Barry, was married to on hot chick and he did wonders for middle east peace.
Let’s get cracking folks, this ain’t no inauguration we are holding in January, it’s a CORONATION! we’ve got to ramp up the festivities and decor!We need Elton John (he is a queen after all) to write a song for the special occasion! Hell, we could use some of his
outrageous royal robes for the grand procession. (no fucking parades for our American Royalty!)darbyogill: Who’s talking about being qualified? I was just talking about who they allow to be president.
Premature ejaculations — Cheney is Spotted Dick until Biden takes over. And let’s not leave jellied eels off the list, lads!
Perverted “Please Excuse My Hands” Clarence Thomas is the uncle Tom that circulating this bullshit in the courts!m Hopey should apply the smack down to this dress wearin butt rangler!
Woodwards Friend: Clarence Thomas only supportz Barack Hussein Obama because he’s black!!!1
100% of black Supreme Court justices refused to hear the case about B. Hussein’s fake birth certificatz!!!!!!1
actor212: “Creepy English fare” is redundant.
We’re going to need a bigger tank.
As long as Jews and furries can’t be president, I think we’re okay.
If they kicked Barry out of the White House, I would have grabbed a Pitchfork. (And not the kind that overhypes the Arctic Monkeys!)
Naked Bunny with a Whip: But what of a Jewish Furry?
THE HORROR!!11`!!@!!
actor212: I hadn’t thought of it quite that way, but I do remember Ulysses told Polyphemus his name was “No Man” so when the one-eyed one was blinded, his fellow cyclops came running and asked, “Who has blinded you?” and Polyphemus say, “No Man has blined me!” so they were disgusted, “Then go to bed and let us sleep.”
Barrett808: Well, shit.
V572625694: he says it’s because his natural brilliance does not shine through because AA raises all those Knee-grows to confuse him with. And Toomey reports Scalisi did in fact reply, when asked the difference between him and Uncle Thomas, “I’m a [rigid constructionst, euphemism for `nazi'], but I’m not crazy.” He’s smart, though, UT, in one respect, i.e., “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.”
But what of a Jewish Furry?
They’re only eligible if they choose a gay Scientologist as VP.
THE HORROR!
The true horror is when you circumcise that fuzzy penile sheathe.
I’m thinking of keeping W around as an advisor.
He is actually a good fella.
Canuckledragger: I will gladly invite you over to stay if you need to get away from there. Do you mind cats? I mean lots of cats?
Anyway, I think SCOTUS is trying to make up for how it fucked up big time in 2000. They knew they should have passed and told Florida to figure it out and leave them alone. I’ll be even Scalia is rueing it, dick head that he is. I mean come on, constructionist? Don’t those who construct build shit? and not leave the boards and nail lying around and pretending they mean something?
Naked Bunny with a Whip: There would be mass hysteria, world-wide revivals, and a fundamental change in the nature of the universe.
I’d vote for ‘em.
Hostile Michigander: And spotted dick. Eeewww.
Bowdoin: Oh see, I thought it was Tolkien’s clever hat-tip to Nomen Nescio.
OK, 50 years prescient, of course.
darbyogill: That would be Todd Palin?
Wait a minute - did I read this correctly? Barack Obama is black?
actor212: I still say that had nothing to do with it. It was because Merry, who was a Hobbit and not a Man, used the enchanted sword of Westernesse that he got in the Barrow-Downs. It broke the spell which made the Witch-King invulnerable. After that, anybody could have killed him.
People have a short memory–Clarence didn’t put the pubic hair in her can of Co-Cola, he put it on his own can. If he put it in the can she would have drunk it without noticing and he wouldn’t have had a pubic I mean public laugh about it.
In Prof. Hill’s own very very truthful words. “One of the oddest episodes I remember was an occasion in which Thomas was drinking a Coke in his office. He got up from the table at which we were working, went over to his desk to get the Coke, looked at the can and asked, “Who has pubic hair on my Coke?” On other occasions, he referred to the size of his own penis as being larger than normal, and he also spoke on some occasions of the pleasures he had given to women with oral sex.”
Well now that they know Roberts and Alito are completely useless I bet the wingnuts are sorry for how mean they were to that nice Harriet Myers.
I just realized: “Supreme Court” is an anagram for “Scrotum Puree”. Horror of horrors.
this is a serious issue, i read in the comments of some article on all this craziness that our new halfbreed muslin president is a criminal who committed citizenship fraud to get students loans; this is super bad because all the world leaders we hate that are as smart as wingnut internets commenters will use this info to blackmail the negro prince into doing their bidding, thus bringing about the destruction of america. how the SCOTUS doesn’t see this, is beyond me.
zhubajie: The one and only.
FreshCliches: I’m going to be in London for six months starting January, and all this talk about English food is depressing me.
Que Sera Sarah: It isn’t the 70s, there is enough foreign food you can survive. Brick lane is a must.
Zadig: And this is surprising how???
Presidents-elect who emerge via Immaculate Conception are citizens of ALL nations, silly petitioners…