Wonkette
FIFTEEN GAZILLION angry citizens swamped the steps of the Supreme Court this morning to protest the takeover of the government by the radical Islamic Indonesian bastard orphan and known Kenyan Hussein “Barack” Obama. Some nut recently filed a suit alleging that Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii or somesuch, and so the Supreme Court agreed to review it, along with thousands of other cases they will also decide not to hear this session. A veritable handful of like-minded nuts decided to go to the Supreme Court in a dazzling show of support for this completely insane lawsuit.
Brave blogger “Nebaru” showed up, took photographs, and contacted your Wonkette with this stirring message: “I don’t care if you rip the pictures off the blog and use them however you want.” Hats off to you, kind citizen!
Behold the seething crowds, the media circus! The networks were all over this.
America will forever remember this day when a few valiant souls in furry hats stood around freezing their balls off, praying for Freedom.
Dipshits on Parade [American Dream, In Search of]
FAIL
I think we’ve located the Lizard People.
OMG THE SUPREME COURT IS UNDER SEIGE
If they joined up with PUMA they’d be unstoppable!
Well, there may have only been a handful of protesters, but I’m sure they were quite a handful. Just look at ‘em, they’re praying like hell!
I say hose them all 1960’s style & shred their freedom papers for being assholes!
Meanwhile Scalito hovers in the air above their heads keening: “Yesssss, pray to meeeee! PRAAAAAY!”
I’m coining the word for a certain quantity: ‘a paultardload’. It’s similar to a ‘metric buttload’ in theory only much, much smaller.
OMG! Is that one on the left (2nd picture) a token black person? That would be so inclusive of them.
I see a smattering of dumb, assholes too.
Saying Obama’s not US American boo hoo hoo.
And I think to myself, what a Bo-tarded world…
Under Siege? Call Steven Seagal!
P.S. Steven Seagal wishes you and yours Happy Holidays. The other guy handed him some bullshit line about a War on Xmas.
The guy in the army coat and fur hat I recognize to be a panhandler who works the corner round from my office! Oh, he’s just thinkin’ there’ll be boxed lunches delivered, I bet.
These knuckleheads are about as soft as church music.
Meet Clarence Thomas’ 2009 clerks.
I’m sure these American Patriots who are so concerned about uncovering The Truth also displayed this level of psychotic obsession when it came to verifying the case for invading Iraq, too. Fuckerz.
Thank you kind Nebaru for uncovering the truth. Do you have any that are Blingee-able?
Holy Shit!!!!!1!! How did I miss out on this, oh yeah I live in NM
Lascauxcaveman: Well, not exactly a token black person - an official Al Quaeda House Negro. Can’t have a Real American (TM) gathering without one.
Cape Clod: They are also weak like clock radio speakers, also.
So this is what happened to the loser kids who participated in See You At the Pole in high school.
This is just like the march I attended a few years ago, but without anyone actually in attendance.
I was really expecting to see more reporters than supporters there, kind of like a Hillz rally. But, it seem like only Nebaru showed up. (the tripod is for the wingnuts taping of the historical event. there’s probably a green screen hidden somewhere so they can splice in some footage of protesting muslins. )
Pretty soon we’ll all wish we had a furry hat.
They sort of look like a group of morning drunks huddling together smoking before the bar opens.
Let’s see. Fundies prayed for:
1. Rain at the DNC. God said “NO” and sent a hurricane to ruin the RNC.
2. Obama to lose the election. God said “NO” and WALNUTS! lost by a landslide
3. The election to be deemed invalid claiming that Obama is not a U.S. citizen…Wonder what God will say?
I’m just wondering when they’ll realize that God isn’t with them on this one?
I haz a worry! There is an enormous V for Victory in the blue sky above them sent from G-d! (I donut understand the hyphen)
I know it’s all elitist and the like…but I’ve seen better dressed hobos outside Mervyns.
I never thought I’d see people more pathetic than Paultards.
Is this actual PRAYING going on here? Didn’t they get the message when they prayed to stop this from happening for the past, oh, 20 months or so and Jesus DIDN’T INTERVENE?
NoWireHangers: GOD HATES GOD
God also told this Christian in Texas to do something…
http://jalopnik.com/5101888/man-rams-womans-car-at-100-mph-claims-god-told-him-to-do-it
Did the courthouse levitate?
I hate it when crazy people pray in an attempt to look legitimate and serious. It only makes legitimate and serious christians/ect. look crazy.
wtf, what are they praying for in the last photo? that the constitution magically becomes the bible and sarah palin becomes holy mother of our country.
http://www.charlietueats.com
NoWireHangers:
Describing the accident, Lt. Kyle Coleman of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Department said, “He just said God said she wasn’t driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road.” According to a release issued by the department, Schwab told police “the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus’ will for him to punish the car.” It was Schwab who told the police that he was traveling over 100 MPH at the time of the impact.
You do realize that in Texas that’s a perfectly valid defense, right?
NoWireHangers: You see this is a test of your faith from God. He is doing this as punishment because they were not able to successfully turn the gayz and have become more gay as a result.
I have to come to DC in April. Please let these idiots have got tired by that point. Where are the custard pie activists when you need them?
NoWireHangers: Damn you and your quicker realizations!
So. Much. Snarkworthy material. Wonkette will live 4evah. Thanks, ‘tards.
Pray the fuck out of that prayer, you guys!!1!
This is how you pimp your blog on Wonkette. Miller, please take note.
Wait, I thought McCain was born overseas or something. I hope they prayed for an end to cognitive dissonance.
If Obama gets kicked out, does that mean Grumpy and the Tundra Whore Qqueen get to be in charge? And a brand new shopping spree just in time for Xmas? This is exciting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NoWireHangers: The Dog made me do it.
anonymous needed to counterprotest.
Later The Pumpernickel stopped by with hot cocoa for all…and asked them to check out her blog
NoWireHangers: This time John McCain gets deported and Russia claims Alaska back, making Sarah Palin a rare Siberian Cougar!
And I can just hear God’s answer. “Hey, don’t try to get me involved. You’re all a bunch of loons.”
Wingnuts don’t keep well below freezing. Wait until the Roe v. Wade anniversary when they are in peak season.
NoWireHangers: Win.
“America will forever remember this day when a few valiant souls in furry hats stood around freezing their balls off, praying for Freedom.”
I believe that is spelled freedum.
Kev-O-Tron: yeah, all that’s needed is fire in a 55 gallon drum …
dano:
Fear not. A couple of weeks ago I was driving home from where I work in downtown Milwaukee, and there were a grand total of two guys awkwardly walking back and forth across a street carrying these these tiny, crappy-looking signs reading “Abolish the Fed.”
Nobody brings the fail like the Paultards.
Is this the best they could come up with at rebuildtheparty? If so, it’s going to be a lonely 8 years for the republicans. Lonely, but filled with mocking laughter and hopefully a few rotten tomatoes.
obfuscator: Make that prayer your bitch!
Ah, this is exactly why I come back to Wonkette everyday, and then continuously refresh all day long at work.
The man’s perfidy knows no bounds… now he’s managed to become a Musin terrorist with a little bit of pilgrim..
http://www.dutchnews.nl/news/archives/2008/12/obama_descends_from_leiden_pil.php
Can we please just amend the Constitution to allow immigrant citizens to become President? Are we really that afraid of President Schwarzenegger?
Uh, you can’t really see their hands all that clearly. Bunch of pervs.
BTW here’s a really great Slate article from a couple of months ago.
http://www.slate.com/id/2201320/pagenum/all/
>>Red Dawn embodies conservative nutterdom in a way few films not made by Mel Gibson have ever managed. If Ann Coulter made a movie, it would look like Red Dawn. This is thanks to director John Milius. Apocalypse Now screenwriter, Conan the Barbarian auteur, and former NRA board member, Milius is a military zealot, infatuated with the warrior code. Red Dawn is really a fetish movie, an ode to guns and blood. The 2007 Guinness Book of World Records judged Red Dawn the most violent movie in history. (Amazing it has not lost this title to a film of the Saw generation, isn’t it?)<<
A homeless vet pissing on their legs would be the perfect touch.
These guys! Don’t they know God is too busy ensuring Kanye wins his next Grammy, Miss Stupid Blond from a Southern State wins the Miss USA pageant & the most pious football/basketball team wins their next game. He doesn’t have time to fool with minor matters like this.
Somewhere in the south a Safeway is missing all it’s stockboys and sackers. heh. Sack.
Servo: It’s in the movie where William Hurt falls in love with an Iraqi War vet dyslexic: Children of a Lesser Dog.
NoWireHangers: I bet the guy had a bumper stiker that said: “Jesus is my driving instructor.”
Valerie: Neh, we don’t have Safeways. We have Wal-Marts, like they do on Long Island.
We should have this day commemmorated at the new $621m Christian alternative entrance to the Capitol.
Ted Perino:
So bad.
obfuscator: They’re 9/11 truthers as well, does that count?
If they really cared, they would be kneeling naked while beating themselves with sharp studded whips.
NoWireHangers: This was their prayer today:
“Lord, grant us weak servants victory that we may return our country into the hands of a republican, who will take us back to the straight and narrow path of Dubya. Under your holy guidance, the republicans have given us 8 years of … Oh, wait, Lord. Never mind. Just don’t let this 1/2 black man become president.”
Lascauxcaveman: And that person is Alan Keyes.
This is Nancy Pelosi’s doing. She’s been putting drops of antifreeze in Biden’s beer too.
Ted Perino: Is Safeway the same as Tom Thumb? We have Tom Thumb here in Ron Paul’s Republic of Tejas.
See? If Freepers practiced Ecodriving, maybe they coulda made it to the protest. If we ever stop surfing assfucking and drinking long enough to protest anything, our protest would rock trucknutz.
I hope these Great Americans dont riot when the court decides against this noble cause. They would likely cause fives or tens of damages, and disrupt the hotdog stand. It will be Florence and Normandie redux…but more like one of those Rescue 911 “dramatizations” of the actual event.
On an unrelated topic, I have seen much enthusiasm regarding “trucknuts” on this blog thingy. In the interest of equality, why no truck vaginas…or more specifically truck ovaries? Perhaps trucktits. Yes trucktits are the change I have been waiting for.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Yes
Yeah, yuck it up Libtardians. Tomorrows headline: 5 to 4 Obama declared an alien!
toastandlove: That’s been the start of many a political slogan: “We have Tom Thumb here in Ron Paul’s….”
Cheers me up. You’ve made my bindle lighter today, Wonkette!
Predictable. All plump, well-dressed. Spoiled white people afraid of a black man. Praying with a fucking flag in their hand. Douchenozzles. Who has time or money or energy for this bullshit? oh yeah. WINGNUTS!!
I assume this isn’t their inaugural circle jerk.
mpslim: Dude(tte)! Car Bras! There, sorted.
Wokette, because of you, i has a happy. Will you marry me?
trondant: Yes, it was Uncle Thomas who accepted this trash, after Breyer refused it.
The good news is, both Thomas and Scalia are over seventy and overweight.
Canmon (the Inadequate): How about this for a simple amendment: if you’ve been a citizen for 35 years, then you can run for president. If you were born here, the clock starts at birth. If you immigrated to the US at eighteen and were naturalized at 25, you can run when you’re 60.
Sorry, I’m making this sound like change.gov. Truck nutz butt secks.
NoWireHangers: With luck, this round of praying will end up getting McCain deported for being an illegal Panamanian.
Man, I wish I lived closer to DC. I totally would have shown up with a “Deport McCain!” sign.
Canmon (the Inadequate): It’s President Kissinger we’re afraid of. Funny how smart those founding fathers were.
Texan Bulldoggette: God also has to make sure Notre Dame wins every football game. Did He get laid off or something? Downsizing’s a bitch, isn’t it?
p-Sludge ofTheElves: America is a whorehouse where the revolutionary ideals of your forefathers are corrupted and sold in alleys by vendors of capitalism.
My favorite scene from Red Dawn comes early in the invasion of Colorado. During the mopping up in the town, the Cuban Colonel steps up to a dead patriotic American and takes his gun from his cold dead hand. A deal is a deal after all.
Bowdoin: Uncle Thomas is just getting a bit of revenge on Hopey for saying…..of all the Supremes, Hopey would not have approved/appointed Uncle T. (what a thing to say about a ‘brother’ heeengh?)
Uncle Thomas is a very unhappy man.
Dawn Keipuntsh: Bogus article. “Jan-Jaap de Haan” is a character from Star Wars.
finallyhappy:
They save that for Saturday night. I think they call it “foreplay.”
Airborne Toxic Event: If thats the case, she and Reid better watch their back, Hillary is moving up the succession ladder.
“It was Justice Clarence Thomas who referred [the birth certificate suit] to the full court, which decided to distribute the case for the judges’ conference.” http://www.rightpundits.com/?p=2508
Why can’t you Negroes just learn to get along?
Move-on is offering shirts again- $12 for the short sleeved and $14 for the long sleeved. I think these are made by American child labor.
http://pol.moveon.org/o-shirts/?id=15212-4006939-_qdVeYx&t=4
I’ll bet the local Denny’s struggled with making 12 “Grand slams” all at once.
“Dear Lord, please bless this first meeting of the Future Palin Voters of America.”
I heard that they planned to march to the capitol; got tired, hungry and out of breath about a block down the street, gave up and went to P.F. Changs.
By the way, let’s not be too sure the SCOTUS isn’t content to undo another election.
finallyhappy: They are doing that after dinner at Scalia’s house.
These Darwin Award winners are standing around bemoaning the fact that they just got mugged by some DC urchins and the soles of their feet are freezing. Don’t people understand that Hopey and Hilz murdered Vince Foster while Monica was diddling Bill? Doesn’t America care?
I love that they are spending their energy on this BS. I really wish more of them would. Every time I talk to someone I know is republican, I push this issue just enough to get them interested. “Well, you know, I’m NOT SURE Hawaii was actually a STATE in 1960 or 61 or 72 or whenever HUSSEIN was SUPPOSEDLY born there.” Then I touch the side of my nose, which they don’t understand, but they get that it’s something they should investigate. And immediately.
That should keep them busy for a while.
nmmagayar: Is that a state? It’s in Mexico, right?
Kev-O-Tron: obfuscator: Sometimes my Catholic friends (and family) say, “I’ll say a prayer for you.” or “We’re praying for you.” I smile and say, “Well, that can’t possibly hurt.”
I don’t think they get what I’m really saying.
I see that furry hat and think of Emmitt Otter’s Jugband Christmas. Do I need a drink?
p-Sludge ofTheElves: WOLVERINES!!!
They failed the Scalia test: an obscene joke is only okay if it’s good.
nice article about the birth certificate kreeps:
http://www.slate.com/id/2206033/pagenum/all/#p2
>>>Thanks to the increased simplicity of online organizing and coverage in talk radio and fringe political Web sites, the citizenship crusaders have grown numerous enough to irritate people at every level of the presidential vote certification process.
…
But the story is good enough for Gary Kreep, the conservative head of the United States Justice Foundation, who filed suit against Obama on behalf of Alan Keyes, the unstoppable fringe candidate who was on the ballot in California on the American Independent Party ticket. “If he’s got nothing to hide,” says Kreep, “why not give us access?”<<<
I wonder what the deal is with that goofball waving from the steps.
liquiddaddy: While I agree we shouldn’t be “too sure the SCOTUS isn’t content to undo another election,” there’s no way this group is going to P.F. Chang’s. Not Amurrican enough. Sirhotspur was closer, suggesting Denny’s, a place known to be more welcoming to Authentic White customers than those whose birth certificates are in question.
randomsausage: Pumpernickel!! God I miss her. And when I say miss her, I mean I don’t miss her. It was a her, going by her avatar & blog. Kind of a cute her, too.
Bowdoin: Scalia is 72. However, Judge Pubic Hair Thomas is only 60. But they do both look mighty unhealthy.
You’ll see, some day they’ll be proven right but when Obama institutes sharia law, it’ll be too late
JuiceMe: cognitive dissonance = WAAAY too many syllables for this crowd
finallyhappy:
Gap:
For kids, by kids.
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/gap_unveils_new_for_kids_by_kids
p-Sludge ofTheElves:
“The 2007 Guinness Book of World Records judged Red Dawn the most violent movie in history.”
Red Dawn? The one about the high school kids hiding out in the mountains taking pot shots are Russians and Cubans? That movie as hardly the most violent in history.
Let’s make a list of more violent ones. Off the top of my head:
Saving Private Ryan. You don’t have to include the whole movie, just that first part about landing at Normandy.
Natural Born Killers. OMG. That film. No words.
No Country for Old Men. While we are talking about Tommy Lee Jones, let’s toss this film out there. That Mexican hit man was not chit chatting folks to death.
Apocalypse Now. Blood, guts, jungle, psychotics. Wee bit violent.
All the Saw movies, let’s throw most of the teenage slasher films in as a batch here.
29 Days Later. Accidental release of a “rage” virus. Zombies and very bad men.
The entire career of Vin Diesel except that kids movie.
Kill Bill, both parts.
ooh, many many more.
Mustang:
No, Joe Biden becomes President if Obama is found not to be a citizen. That’s why all these groups seem to have P.O. Boxes in Dover, Del.
p-Sludge ofTheElves: one of the best things I got from the Slate article you linked was the term “Paleoconservatives.” It’s probably been around, but I don’t get out much. Nice when one word can sum up so much.
This crowd looks almost as large as the cheering Iraqis who pulled down the statue of Saddam Hussein with a little assistance from a U.S. armored personnel carrier.
Maybe those lunatics don’t understand how things work under our new Hawaiian shark-god overlord:
RELEASE THE HOUNDS!
Lascauxcaveman: Nah, just Angryblakguy. Since Hopey won; he’s been a little lost. Pretty sure he was last seen in that area muttering to himself.
cal: They could fill a bus!
Ah Hahaahahahahah! Ah Hahahahahaha! I can’t stop laughing!
these wonderful pix give new meaning to the Wonkettian phrase
“the bitters.” so rich, so satisfying.
Terry:
Guiness just didn’t like seeing Jennifer Grey’s chest explode from Hind 24 rounds. Bloodied down feathers everywhere.
After this, it only seems fitting that Barry gets to appoint at least two, maybe three or four, new Supremes…. I think he should arm them, as well….
Terry: dude, let me introduce you to japanese cinema. start with anything directed by takashi miike and you’ll realize hollywood action films are really made by care bears.
The Wolf: He has and they don’t believe it because they are crazy. Factcheck.org and even the nuts at Free Republic viewed it and said it was real. So did the Repub Governor of Hawaii. These nuts are just crazy. Plus one of the lawsuits isn’t about his birth certificate. It claims that Barack isn’t eligible to be POTUS because his father was a British citizen or some bullshit like that. It’s all bullshit driven by racist wingnuts and racist PUMAs.
NoWireHangers: I always thought “See You At the Pole” was like “The circle meets at 4:20″, except with group sex instead of recreational drug use (”The Pole” indeed!).
Hey, what can be said, other than that:
http://mah-brain.doesntexist.com/
finally I found a useful (and humorous) use for web-hopping :p
dano: I thought they were paultards without the Guy Fawkes masks.
toastandlove: Tom Thumb’s are upscale compared to Safeways.
TexasCowGirl: Yup, Little Green Lizards(officially- not all the commenters) and Michelle Malkin said this is nonsense. I always feel dirty after I read those sites but it was necessary research.
The Real JR Revisted:
A short bus.
Canmon (the Inadequate): Yes. Yes, we are.
There’s almost enough of them for another Brooks Brothers riot. If I were Barry, I’d be worried about these guys bustin’ up my inauguration.
Palin/Keyes 2012
‘Nuff said!
TexasCowGirl: Weren’t our first seven presidents British citizens by birth?
WABishop: Or, how about this as common sense criteria: if enough americans think you qualify as natural born, and are willing to vote for you, and you win, you are Prez!
Seems Democratic, and doesn’t seem like any consitutional interpretation, or supreme court definition would be required for that.
White Folks never cease to amaze me at the great lengths to which they will go just to make a quasi-sport outta anything involving cold weather. With that thought aside, I look forward to “Prayin’ to Jesus” headlining the next Winter Olympics. At least this will be the one “sport” where Team USA can kick some godless, socialist Scandinavian, East Euro and Canadian Asses!
Let me be the only real dissenting voice here.
One of our greatest peeves over the last 8 years has been access to the courts to redress grievances. Well this is like the Nazi’s & KKK at Skokie & Joliet. Suck it up folks. Let the Court issue a finding and write an opinion. At worst Biden is President; at best it’s a 6-3 with Scalia, Stepin Fetchit & Alioto in dissent.
One of the cultural values we hold making us the envy of the rest of the world is a jurisprudential system that actually designed to work. Let’s have a public decision that is itself transparent and enforceable.
Salient point: Rights aren’t rights until it’s tough to swallow.
Two videos of the eighteen stupidest motherfuckers on the face of the earth (not counting Douglas Feith:
Hmm, 140 commenters. Does that mean there are 20x more people commenting on this than actually bothered to show up and pray?
Let us now kneel and tremble before our true god.
Fuck.
http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Demonstrators_pray_Supreme_Court_will_invalidate_1205.html
NoWireHangers: lolz.
“…Matthew 6:5-6: “…when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret….”
It would appear that Jesus promoted private prayer only, while condemning prayer in public. Christians who wish to follow the Bible and Jesus’ teachings might consider not attending a “See you at the pole” event.” …”
Why are these birth certificate jerks hatin’ on jesus by praying in public?!? The nerve of some people.
http://www.motherjones.com/mojoblog/archives/2008/12/11207_video_rally_obama_citizenship_supreme_court.html
Hear the dipshits speak the truth! Except in this case “truth” means “fucksicle crazy bullshit”.
I just discovered this site and reading these comments I haven’t laughed this hard since the Palin-Couric interview. I can only add that I think one of those errant public hairs may have found its way up into Clarence Thomas’ brain.
While protesting in our nation’s capitol this winter, remember, a warm red scarf with matching hat and mittens is an essential accessory for the well dressed Christian conservative/libertarian/former Klan member. Although frostbite in the cradle of modern democracy is rare, it is best to be prepared for having to lay down in front of abortion clinics/Supreme Court Justice’s cars/ to tear off Obama/Biden/08 bumper stickers off Ford Tauruses in the winter season. Thank you all and have a happy and safe protest/sit in/prayer meeting/call girl pickup.
Thanks a bunch.
Mitchbailey: First timer? I hope you have better luck than I did. After the Rep. convention I posited that poor slutty Bristol had to dress like she was Amish so she’d look like a virgin. Someone immediately responded that I was a c*** (sorry, I hate that word) and deserved to die.
Wow. My post might have been not funny, but I thought that was a little harsh. It scared me a little.
But fuck it, I came back.
this is probably so late no one will read it, but the deal is if his mom’s meracan citizen, then so’s he…no matter where the fuck he was born, i am pretty sure on this one and also i hope it gets reallly fucking cold in dc and these wackjobs go home before jan 19, jesus…also regarding truck nutz i saw jon stewart mention them on the daily show a while back, i’ve been away and don’t know if you all caught that or not, but it fucking rocked
ATTENTION REPUBLICANS!
TURN IN YOUR GUNS AND YOUR BIBLES NOW! WE WILL NOT HURT YOU. STAY IN YOUR HOMES FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
The saddest thing of all is that it seems the tiny hobo-barrel fire they are huddled around seems to have gone out.
I do hope they find some relief from the relentless horror of this president-elect regime that is making life a living hell for those who want to progress America.
NoWireHangers: 3. God will say no, in the form of finding some old documents saying that Alaska really belongs to Russia.
obfuscator: Is that a nod to David Cross?