Wonkette
A transition of power, combined with the crumbling economy, leaves America very vulnerable to the Terrorists. It is very clear to them, the Terrorists, that we do not have our shit together, at all. We have three presidents and 42 cents of real wealth; we grow a lot of corn. If you were a Terrorist looking at this, you’d just want to fucking bomb it, right? This is why we should have elected Republicans, America, because they know two things: (1) camels are from the Middle East and (2) filthy Mexicans are always sneaking into our country and then giving AIDS to our children. And yesterday two camels were seen wandering around a Mexican border city, trying to blend in, acting all cool, keeping it real discreet-like. It’s pretty clear, then, that the Arab Terrorists are coming from Mexico to, uh, eat yr brains.
CIUDAD JUAREZ, Mexico (AP) — It may have seemed like a mirage: Two camels nibbling on a pine tree along a street in this desert metropolis on the Texas border. Police tried lassoing the animals, which lunged at the officers with snapping teeth as onlookers chuckled.
Mean fuckers, alright. And these are just the advance scouts.
What we need now is that guy who hated the Illegals so much, the one who was so crazy about border security. Like, worse than all the other Republican presidential candidates combined. Goddamnit, what was his stupid idiot name!!! He was a frumpy hobbit… he told us to “get our act together” after an interview in New Hampshire, hilarious…
Oh yes!
DO YOU WANT A CAMEL TO RAPE YOUR KIDS AMERICA?
Camel found wandering in Mexican border city [AP]
Sorry, but the phrase “Raping Kids” is funny for some reason.
But there’s no better sound than that of a belching camel.
Please. People in Wisconsin raise llamas these days and eat their sweet meat on cheese burgers. It’s the global ecology baby! Smuggle some frogs into Australia just for the hell of it.
Git out ‘o my cuntry, Kenny G.
obfuscator: See Michael Jackson post
obfuscator: So is “Team Tancredo”… sounds like an in-joke name of a trivia night at the bar team.
shortsshortsshorts: Return to the chatroom! It’s Flavor Cuntry!
Free dinner at Applebee’s!
Jeez, Jim, didn’t ya listen to Nancy Pelosi Radio (NPR) this morning, to hear about all the murders in Juarez? And they have three-hour gun-battles in the middle of the day in Tijuana every few days; beheaded bodies turn up everywhere. Camels are the least of their freakin’ worries.
These are probably hobo camels that were set free from the secret menagerie of a foreclosed drug lord. He probably had chimpanzees too, but they can always get jobs smoking and washing cats on the Teevee.
i think you guys are missing the point. those illegal alien camels are in mexico. what that means is that they are stealing the jobs of natural born mexican burros which will just send those burros across the border and will eventually take the jobs of american born cars and trucks.
So were tha camels Dromedary or Bactrian. I have a real problem with when a Dromedary Camel spits on my dishdasha. You have to wash it straight away. And if it gets on you skin, it stings. You have to pee on yourself to stop the stinging.
I usually slap the shit out of the camels if it does that to me, its most effective with my gutrah.
nurple: Drug lords foreclosed? Monkeys washing cats?
God help us. (and don’t give me the “chimps aren’t monkeys crap”)
V572625694: yeah but tijuana-ian whores are teh best they only cost like 15 or 20 dollars and some of them know how to cook. thats where im going to live whenthe depression hits , cash out my 401k find a border slum town and live like a king. ahhh the power of hopes and dreams
I thought you meant Lou Dobbs for a second.
Borat: You know how to castrate a camel, right?
You know what, drugs can’t push back, so like this is unfair, you know?
Next thing you know, we’ll find out that Canadians are riding around on Taun-tauns. Isn’t that right Manchu?
metropolitan:
I don’t believe these are American born cars and trucks…
why won’t they release their titles?
Those camels weren’t botherin’ anybody…
they were just humpin’!
Why were the officers snapping their teeth? Bad way to deal with camels. Best to smoke them out, of course.
Meanwhile, it may be a good idea to nationalize all illegal aliens, along with the mortgages, the banks and the auto industry.
That’s nothing, I saw camels grazing in Nebraska last week. Nebraska––this is the HEARTLAND!
Actually, little known fact from my days as an anthropology major: camels were once native to North America: http://www.tarpits.org/education/guide/flora/camel.html
metropolitan: Silly! Everbody knos trux n carz airn’t born in Amerca no more! Jez Christ! Send them el burrors on up’er so we can make more glue. Save the wild horsesssss!
Cape Clod: Us Canadians are too busy having our government fall apart in comic fashion, and playing a new drinking game where we watch the news and drink for every mention of the word “prorogue”, an obscure, dumb word that no one had ever used prior to 3 days ago but which is now used, by law, in every sentence uttered on news shows, as a verb, noun or just as a simple interjection. Prorogue! So far, we are all dead of alcohol poisoning.
What, no credit for sending in the tip, Newell???
Hey, I hear that the Chinese find Camel’s Hump is a delicacy! Maybe we should breed camels and sell the humps to them…. there a re a shitload of people in China and if they each eat just ONE HUMP, CHA-CHING!!!
V572625694: If I castrated the camel, they wouldn’t be useful for what I keep them for. I do circumcise them though.
azw88: Now is no time to hump the Chinese.
Oh no. It’s going to be the killer bee thing all over again, only with more spit.
Police tried lassoing the animals, which lunged at the officers with snapping teeth as onlookers chuckled.
Sound like something out of a Rob Schneider vehicle.
azw88:
1st rule about Fight Club:
Do not take credit for tipping about Fight Club.
mattbolt: That sounds so sad. Here, have an invasive humped species. They’re oddly comforting.
Has anyone figured out what that word means yet, btw?
Nothing but hipster burros. Pachucos.
Ciudad Juarez is already the murder capital of Mexico. What they don’t need is psychopathic Middle eastern terrorist camels.
Camels: today. Tomorrow: Llamas, vicunas and alpacas.
mattbolt: “Prorogue”: Supportin’ the bitchy, racist Palin candidate as opposed to the folksy, hockey mom Palin candidate.
sneeze: Now come on — everyone knows camels isn’t people.
Cape Clod:
Don’t ask me, I don’t have a Tauntaun anymore. I had to stick my half frozen brother-in-law in mine.
Cape Clod: Canadians and their strong dollar don’t use Tauntauns. They have enough money for Snow Speeders.
Hey, when it comes to Humping, I LIKE CHINESE
shortsshortsshorts: Hey, in this economy this is the only fucking credit I can get!!!!
Tra: Suspending Parliament, damn, now where are we all going to flee when teh whackjobs de-citizen-ize the Hopester?
Tra: Prorogue: To stop parliament, just to flat-out cancel it for a while, like a 2-month long lunchbreak for a government. Fatty Harper asked the foxy chocolate Governor General permission to PROROGUE the government, since every other party had promised the very first thing they were doing once they were back in parliament would be to kick the conservatives out and form a wacky Band Of Misfit Toys to govern the country. Harper got his wish after much grovelling and other unspeakable acts inside the GG’s office, and now Parliament’s on vacation until sometime in January, hooray for democracy
Kamel Nutz!
Jim Newell: Yes. They’re going to eat our brains and gain our knooowledge
The Zetas have merged with the Taliban; they’re still fighting about whether they’ll be the Talizets or the Zetabans. Two states close to Tijuana will now be known as Sonorabad and Chihuahuastan.
Don’t be proroguing no camel. http://tothecenter.com/news.php?readmore=1667
Hawmps!
That’s today. Just you wait, tomorrow the camel farmers will be going to Congress asking for a $600 billion bailout. WHEN WILL IT END, AMERICA?
4 out of 5 border-crossing Messicans prefer the taste of camel piss over their own.
Those were illegal immigrant camels! Most likely awol from the awesome Texas camel cavalry. Liberal hippies.
Dave Barry is not making this up.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GIVE THE AUTO INDUSTRY A BAILOUT NOW THERE ARE MESSICAN CAMELS TRYING TO COME INTO THE COUNTRY CAUSE THEY WANT A BAILOUT TOO AND THIS IS NOT RIGHT AND RON PAUL WOULD NOT STAND FOR THIS AND I SIMPLY CANNOT STOP SCREAMING MMMWWWWAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!11!!!!~!!@!!
freakishlystrong: It was more of a rhetorical question, like “Hey, where’d all the money from that $700 billion bailout package go, anyway?” But thanks for your consideration.
As for your question, I hear Russia is fairly close by, apparently connected to Alaska somewhere.
Muslin horsies massing on the border? Oh noes!
Those facial tatoos look pretty rad. How do those boys get jobs with that shit scrawled all over their faces? Does it wash off?
Humps. Dirty Ayrab humps.
Ugh, that video makes me so sick. When will people learn not to be paranoid idiots?
Don’t be paranoid people, here’s the truth: TOM TANCREDO IS NOT A REAL PERSON. HE IS A FIGMENT OF OF FICTION THAT LEAKED OUT OF A BAD EPISODE OF 24! No need to be paranoid about this guy, Tom Tancredo, because he’s not real, he never existed, the congressman from Colorado’s 4th district is named Sam Sampson and the hate issue he gets a boner to is FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY. Yes, nothing about illegal immigrants, it’s fiscal responsibility.
Cuidad Juarez? Camels?
Those were certainly burros with several kilos of cocaine sewn into their backs for the pilgrimage to see the, uh, savior, over in El Paso.
BTW, were they by any chance painted with black and white stripes?
Borat: With two bricks, right?
Probably the descendants of Hi Jolly’s Camel Corps…
mattbolt: What an obscure word. Congress just goes into ‘recess’, meaning all our politicians head to the nearest schoolyard playground looking to cop a little action.
Okay, this is a whole new level of stupid. Central American gangs are a U.S. export. When we round up illegal immigrants and throw them into our jails, they pick up the gang culture and take it back home with them when they are eventually deported. Tancredo’s policies would most likely increase the gang problem in Central America. What an idiot.
Ohhhhh gawwwwwd. The Texas Camel Corps and the Texas Camel Experiment. We do have wild camels roaming that part of Texas. I didn’t know about it myself until some student came in researching camel saddles and the history of camels in Texas.
Tra: That is so not where I placed that smiley face. Now all the delicate nuances are lost.
Those camels are just doing the jobs American pedophiles won’t do.
I knew it.
I just f-in knew it.
Now the animals are getting smarter, like we need that right now.
Alright, Mexicans. You need to find the boat the the camels built to get here from wherever the hell it was they came from, we need to trace it back to the individual camels who designed and built it, and those animals are going to have to serve as the backdrop for a Sara Palin press conference…
Why is my dog growling at me????
What’s the big deal? A camel is just another farm animal, appropriate for a desert. They carry things, they pull plows, you can milk them. According the Camel Institute at the University of the Negev, the milk makes superior ice cream. According to Beduin men, drinking camel milk enhances ones sexual abilities, which is why they can satisfy up to four wives!
The two-humped camel (common in China) also has great wool. Camel wool long-johns might make that cold weather the Wonetteers have been whining about more tolerable.
Zhu Bajie
monty: I always had a feeling the before long USians would be fleeing to Mexico, Argentina, etc.
Zhu Bajie
My only comment is FUCK ALLAH, MUHAMMED, THE VIRGIN MARY, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, ESPECIALLY THE FAGGOT POPE AND HIS DEVOTEES, THE BAPTISTS AND ANYONE ELSE WHO THINKS THEIR GOD IS THE ONLY GOD. Leave me a message and I will give you directions to my house in South West Georgia, My Goddamned neck is redder than yours by more than you can handle…once again, fuck allah, the rest of the aforementioned, and the camels they were fucking. And finally, I love Americans, especialy those that disagree with me. At least we have a forum.
azw88: Camel wool for winter clothing! There’s even a clothing chain store called “Eastern Camel.”
Zhu Bajie
Borat: Probably farmers castrate baby males, when they are too small and weak to struggle much. That’s how it’s done with pigs and cattle.
Zhu Bajie
Baconbits: The US Army did try to start a camel corps, 1850s. Mule drivers kept shooting, them, though, because they didn’t want competition.
Zhu Bajie
WoundedVeteran: Southwest Georgia, recently defeated by Russia? Or South Georgia, Antarctic island?
Zhu Bajie
shortsshortsshorts: Drugs don’t push, they pull.