Wonkette
Good question, CNN. It looks like Republican Santa will let that little boy discover the answer firsthand. We do not care to watch the filthy video. [CNN, thank you tipster "Adam G."]
DICKCEMBER
Where were the Trucknutz?
Little Johnny, Santa can’t deliver you any presents this year because we have this thing called baby boomers. And these people think they are supposed to get everything on credit and someone else will pay for it. And this, this is their gift to you to be sold to a Chinese-Arab child labor kabal.
Sack up boys. Sack up your coal, I mean. With OPEC lowering production for the winter it’s the only way you’ll stay warm.
Santa is ruining my Xmas.
Is this the government’s pron-free site you mentioned yesterday?
No way am I clicking on that empty sack link… unless I wanted to become republican.
Hmmm..
Just more collateral damage due to the War on Christmas.
If Santa had magic underpants….
bago: Or move to Florida or California — plenty of available real estate and it gets cheaper every day!
A bowl full of jelly, inDEED.
This is going straight on the advent calendar.
I just hit ctrl-dash like 20 times, and suddenly this was a very interesting but tiny capsule of little dots representing letters. One would have to be desperately bored to leave a comment. Almost as much fun as I Heart the 80’s.
Betcha THAT won’t be on a t-shirt.
…well there isn’t much sun in the north pole! Duhhhhhhh!!!
Kick St. Nick in the ‘ol bean bag, this year!
No Timmy, you cannot do Santa a ’special favor’. He can go to the prostate clinic for his checkup, like anybody else.
They were probably just rereading this when working on the story - http://slate.com/id/2205359/pagenum/all
neuticles????
But Santa said the mustache rides were free.
Santa would be better off just stayin’ away from da hood
than comin’ thru with a light sack.
Light Sacks in Da Hood getcha shot.
Is it easier to perpetuate the lie..
“Timmy, Santa has a light sack this year because be blew his Kringle-y wad all at once with Mrs. Claus…Oh, wait. Wait! Timmy, come back! That’s not what I meant! I meant he ran out of…elven credits!”
…than admit to your own kids that you have bad credit?
Tyrone Biggums: So, people in this “hood” place you mentioned will randomly stop you and weigh your testicles as a test of merit? Do the largest get to mate with the women? Jolly good!
Tyrone Biggums:
Dude,
Negro be president now.
Put your guns away.
I’ve been looking into this “Santa Claus” guy, and you know what? His birth cert does not check out at all. There is no proof this guy is from the North Pole.
Okay kid, I heard you.
You said “Moy name is Moik and oy want a Boyk!”
Okay Mike. You’ll get your bike.
It might be a really nice old Peugeot from e Bay, but don’t fret, kid. They don’t make steel like that anymore in Taiwan or Korea. Lighter is better. Look at Rudolph!
He’s lost forty pounds!
Think of the bushels I save per mile on reindeer chow.
Now when does Santa get to hear what the big girls want for Christmas?
speaking of hideous old farts fondling little kids, the AP has declared SISSY SAXBY the winner in Georgia.
Santa has a light sack and a heavy heart …
Capitol Hillbilly:
Fuck AP and their bad news.
Ain’t over until Fox says so.
Fox just said so.
Georgia is less useful than Alaska.
Saxby Chambliss going to bring back the joy, the bling and the can-do spirit to an America so downtrodden by the socialist Obama’s disappointing transition. Thank god we are back on track.
I told my kids instead of Christmas presents, I was taking them to Nebraska to a fun amusement park… then those inconsiderate cornfushers changed the law. Now i gotta take them across the border to Mexico….
“Why Santa, what a light sack you have!”
“All the better to come down your chimney with, sonny.”
Do we really need to hear about Santa’s sac, er, sack?
Santa probably teabagged into Larry Craig’s mouth until the sack went numb and, hence, felt light.
“discover the answer firsthand”. Nyuk, nyuk.
azw88: Hey, my parents told me the same thing and I’m 40!
There’s a Lance Armstrong joke here, but ‘cuz he’s our nation’s hero, I can’t tell it.
Ha ha - they changed it now to “sleigh is light”
Smilin’ Bob has a heavy sack.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqffNjcxMDg
I understand that Santa’s sack is fur lined, but very old and wrinkly.
One thing’s for sure, Black Santa’s sack sure ain’t light.
I just hope that the parents of that girl got a screen capture, so when she gets to college, everyone will know that she is associated with Santa’s sack.
Perhaps his sack was attacked by reindeer antlers. Rudolph’s gettin’ uppity.
“C’mere, kid. If you put your hand in Santa’s sack and rummage around a bit, Santa has a secret present for you!”
Fivetree: You mean ‘SleighNutz’. A natural mistake.