Wonkette
The White House Christmas tree needs many ornaments, so Laura Bush asked some members of Congress to find local artists to make ornaments for the tree. One lady from Seattle, selected by Washington state Representative Jim McDermott, made an ornament that has teeny tiny letters on it chronicling McDermott’s efforts to impeach George W. Bush, a sad dunderhead who somehow survived eight whole years of the presidency.
This is sort of tacky, maybe; the equivalent of somebody saying, “Come to my housewarming party” and getting a flaming bag of poo on their doorstep as a house “warming” gift. Except in this situation, it’s a house leaving party, and the house was just a rental anyhow, and the once prosperous landlord is now an infuriated hobo, and so the landlord leaves a flaming bag of poo on the steps of the house that the loser renter totally wrecked. The bag of poo is covered in very small letters that say something about impeachment. Metaphor!
Christmas Colors for the White House: Red, White and Impeach [Reliable Source]
Are you sure that’s not for the traditional White House Hanukkah Tree?
This is why we Washingtonians love our Jim McDermott. He’s sorta like a Dennis Kuchinich, only with a snarky mean streak a mile wide.
Pirated cell-phone recordings, anyone?
What’s odd to me is how they also accepted an ornament made of a plaster cast of Jeff Gannon’s rentboy cock. Seems like it was submitted by Larry Craig’s office…
I think we should throw Bush a house PACKING party. We all show up on Jan 18th and spend 1-1/2 days helping him pack up all of his shit and drinking up all of his booze, just like we did when helping friends move in college. We just make sure he doesn’t sneak off with the china!
Ugh, a broken link! And after we went and made you eco-driving champions, we get this.
But is it fitted with a microscoping servaillance device so W can find out who the real Santa is?
Or the designer can collect evidence about war crimes and pass them on the good ol’ courts in Den Haag.
Where can I buy one of these?
azw88: No way could you empty that liquor cabinet in 36 hours. You wouldn’t even get through Laura’s stash in that amount of time.
Lascauxcaveman: Should have read: “This is why we librul Washingtonians love our Jim McDermott.”
The conservatives get their undies in a twist just thinking about this guy.
Another reason we love him.
mattbolt: Here is the correct link:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/reliable-source/2008/12/rs-ornament2.html
Seems that a ‘g’ was added to the URL to test our ability to solve problems. It was an EPIC FAIL for most!
“There is a time and place for everything, and I don’t think this is either.”
That’s right up there with Casey Stengel’s, “There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.”
Actually, a flaming bag of poo covered dicks would work for me.
Clearly, this woman designed the Dr. Bronner Peppermint Soap bottles too.
I was gonna say that Wonkette should make a christmas tree ornament, but then it hit me. Wonkette already HAS the perfect christmas tree ornament. They’re shiny, round and have a hole at the top for hitchin’ onto your bigass tree. You know exactly what I’m talking about.
Vanity Smurf: Depends on how many of us show up.. just us Wonkette readers alone could clean out a bevMo in a few hours and show no ill-effects (well, not until a liver tox screen is done). We are a hearty, liver damaged bunch here @ Wonkette!
God spoke to Moses through a burning bush. Maybe God will speak to the Black Moses through a burning Bush bag of poo.
I love it how Sara spells it “poo.” It makes shit seem cute — like it’s shit from a Disney character. Tinkerbell doesn’t shit; she sprinkles “poo” on bad little children.
They need to do ornaments from the states like the Easter Eggs, because those things are an endless source of entertainment.
i want to buy Jim McDermott a medal of freedom or something.
I like the top comment on the article. How dare the lady be rude to the president? It’s not like he killed anybody or anything!
Hee hee. Ballsy.
Should have thrown in some Truck Nutz to hang on the tree as well.
Y’know what? I don’t like this ornament statement. It’s not even like it’s a really interesting ornament. I think it’s very tacky and a spineless gesture. Ooh, I’ll make it 9 inches big. That’ll show ‘em.
That lady can write on my balls any day.
actor212: Maybe she can construct 25,000 acres of rainforest in the desert as well. All-One-God-Faith!
If Bush climbs a step ladder tall enough to reach the ornament, puts on his reading glasses, gets a magnifying glass, and leans in close enough to read it, this mildly presented indictment of his policies from an ornament artist is really going to chap his ass.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Wow, this is like an ornament from “The Third Policeman” or as imagined by Borges. When the miles of tiny script on the ball are unscrolled the reader encounters a grand unified conspiracy theory whose final line shows that the whole eight years = pigs at the trough.
That’s my district! Huzzah! Let’s hear it for the stubborn, passive aggressive city of Seattle.
Lascauxcaveman: Jay Inslee is kick ass too. Is that your district? You’re where again?
I had no idea that Bush was also responsible for the 1919 Washington State labor strike. I thought Walnuts’ hands were all over that one.
The real crime is how ugly she made that ornament.
good thing george cant read between the lines or care for reading, period.
http://www.charlietueats.com
freakishlystrong: Funny you mention it - I was thinking about poopy dick on my walk into the office this morning. Of course I knew I’d be snarking on wonkette so that figures I guess.
I love the pseudo-naivism of the work, but why did she include the picture of the alien scientist from Caltiki: the Immortal Monster?
no worries. next year = kwanzaa!
Wait, are there MORE PEOPLE adding their blog as a “sig?”
mattbolt: I really suck at that ecodriving thingie.
IZ ON UR TREE, POINTIN OUT UR STUPIDITEES
Kev-O-Tron: Isn’t poopy dick a British dessert? No wonder those folks have such bad teeth.
My friend’s Cool Mom is the same sort of Seattle artist - I bet they totally hang out and knit.
JadedDIssonance: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
http://www.KevoTronsTotallyRadBlog.com
JadedDIssonance: Yeah, what the fuck? Whoring out your blog in a comments section is like trying to hand someone your band’s flyer after a show. No thanks, brah.
That ornament is rather disturbing. It looks like a visualization of mental illness.
But then, that’s “outsider art” for you. Get her an agent, she could get rich in the art market!
Kev-O-Tron: DOODZ there iz nothing rong with posting a blogge:
http://www.allblogspostedonwonketteotherthenofficialwonketteendorsedblogsshouldrotinhellandlayinthelandofcryingandgnashingofteeth.com
DOODZ check it outt!
Like they really expected anyone to read it? Especially Stepford Laura; I can picture her at the reception, greeting the artist and smiling. “Oooh, you did that one? I looked at it only once but the swirls triggered a flashback and I’m still not sure is over. Anyways, thank you, Mrs. Warhol, it’s lovely.”
Kev-O-Tron: Naw. I’m out west, so my congresswalrus is Norm Dicks. He’s just a typical porkbarrelin’ lifer.
On the plus side, I get to tell my friends I’m voting for Norm’s Dick every two years. His perpetual Repub opponent is a guy named ‘Doug Cloud,’ which is oddly appropriate for our corner of the country, n’est-ce pas?
This ornament will finally bring down our oppressors. Rejoice, ye crestfallen hordes, for freedom from tyranny shall come with the gentle dangling of Jim McDermott’s ball.
Lascauxcaveman: I hear the surf is pumping out there right now. NPR was talking about fifty foot faces on the waves. You’re probably not a surfer though. You strike me as more of a “twilight” fan if you get my drift.
That’s nothing. Michelle Bachmann sent Laura an ENTIRE BABY!
http://www.LascuaxcavemanJustIgnoresMillerAndPumpernickle.com
It’s pretty obvious they are commenting solely to put in yet another link to their lame blogs. My eyes just flick right past them, unnoticed.
Like a Sylvan ad, or a comment that is a re-writing of some song lyrics.
I heart Wonkette. I hope at least Ken is getting some revenue from these lamers for allowing them to do this stuff in an otherwise very readable comments section.
gjdodger: Everyone knows that Laura must feed. Bachmann’s gift is obviously second to none.
I’m doing my entire tree in TruckNutz this year. The glowing red ones.
shortsshortsshorts: What about way back when, when you kinda had to have a blog to be able to post?
Lascauxcaveman: I’ll trade you my Rep. Brian “Pinhead” Baird for your Norm “Bag O’” Dicks.
Guppy06: Times have changed, not for the worse. That was before every ninny in ninnyville could attain blog status in an attempt to fill the eternal void that is their interwebs life. The rising tide has engulfed “good” blogs and thankfully replaced them with silly one-liner typing avatars. It is the evolution of internet anti-humanity. Thank gawd.
Kev-O-Tron: I think you just called me a queer. Naw, it’s my daughter who is into the Twilight thing, or any other fantasy/magical book series for that matter.
I haven’t surfed since I lived in Australia (1990-91). I’m a more hiking/biking/skiing/playing tennis with my kids kinda guy. That is when I have some time. I rarely have a whole day off for recreational purposes, so getting out in the waves is out of the picture. I wouldn’t know what to do with a 50-footer anyway; except run away, very fast.
If you’re heading out to Neah Bay, you can stay with us in Port Angeles http://www.portangelesdowntownhotel.com/ on the way. We offer $10/night discounts for Wonkette commenters. Always have.
(Heh, NOW who’s the blog whore?)
hedgehog: Nope, that’s “spotted dick.” Not sure it’s a dessert. But whatever it is, ewww!
Lascauxcaveman: That’s awesome. No, I’m not calling you queer. Only kidding after all the hoopla the illustrious town of Forks is witnessing. Sad that they don’t even have there own movie theater to show it in…
Thanks for the invitation. I may very well take you up on that offer. I always like to get out of town. I’m from Bainbridge Island and the Olympic Peninsula is the best kept secret in the country. Ooops! Did I write that on the internet?
Lascauxcaveman: Yay Stormin Norm! Down here in Tacoma, our streets our paved with bacon thanks to him.
And to think, I’ve often said nobody in congress has the balls to impeach George. Hah.
And I’ll bet that big ol’ red and white S stands for “socialist”.
Kev-O-Tron: Kev-O-Tron: Hey, don’t be dissin’ Forks. It’s a great town to drive through.
johnbpt: I hear it’s an awesome place to shoot smack and blow your brains out with a shotgun as well.
populucious: Norm’s really been very good to us, you know. I suppose we should appreciate him more. I certainly would I was more a military-industrial complex type.
Kev-O-Tron: Bainbridge, huh? I’ve been around so long I remember when the town was called Winslow. I was at my wife’s cousin’s place on Manitou Beach Rd for Thanksgiving. Lovely neighborhood, what what? And yes, the whole Twilight-tourism thing has been very good for a little town that could, frankly, use some help. So, big ups for Forks, WA. For their sake I hope the Twilight films are the next James Bond franchise.
It will look nostagically wonderful on next year’s Kwanza tree, too.
Lascauxcaveman: No doubt. I haz a sad when I drive through Forks because it feels mighty lonely. I’m glad you enjoyed your stay on BI. Yes, I remember when it was still Winslow as well.
Kev-O-Tron: Smack is too high-end for Forks. That’s a meth town, yo.
Gratuitous blog whoring:
Desdemona Despair: Blogging the End of the World
Kev-O-Tron: Lascauxcaveman: populucious:
I just want to make sure that all of us from the State of Washington know that this is a blog about the District of Columbia.
It is kind of strange that so many long time commentators come from the Frontier. Snark must come from the grey weather…, and apparently vampires. Who knew that North Bend, Rosalyn and Forks would be the most famous towns in this state.
Strangely enough, a flaming bag of poo covered dicks lit on the front porch of the Naval Observatory is exactly how Bush summons Cheney.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: What’s fun about living in Deepest Blue Seattle is that I actually feel represented by “Baghdad Jim” McDermott.
Lascauxcaveman: I’ve always meant to drive out to the coast. Now it’s a MUST since I know that I can save $10 on lodging…
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Ha ha. Statistically speaking, we’re ridiculously literate and well educated out here in this corner of the country.
Also: Roslyn is freaking awesome, it’s like 80 degrees and sunny, insanely beautiful, every damn time I pass through (OK, I only pass through there in late Aug, on my motorbike). Just like Alaska, I’m sure. Recommend it highly; in August.
Forks is just wet - that’s all.
North Bend? Twin Peaks reference? Must check archives …
There hasn’t been a successful TV show or movie based on my particular little Washington town yet, but that’s just because my daughter and I haven’t finished our outlines/workups/treatment of our mystical-historical-native-American-culture-meets-white-Anglo-American-Canadian idealist colonizers ca. 1900 murder mystery fantasy crime series yet.
We’ve got a lot of material to work with, however. My local library has 112 years worth of local newspapers on microfiche. I can still remember stuff from that I read there when I was 12. Some very weird stuff in there.
Gonna be bigger than Harry Potter and Twilight combined, if I can sober up long enough to write/edit it.
OzoneTom: Check our TripAdvisor.com reviews. I wrote of couple of them myself!
It’s so pretty though!
Lascauxcaveman: Twin Peaks reference. Great pie.
I would love to see Port Angeles join the list. I’ve spent some very nice time up there. It is always neat to see the lights of Victoria over the straight at night. Other than one annoying case where the arbitrator gave me a terrible case of the flu a few years back, I only have nice memories of everything I’ve done up there.
I suspect that if we throw in the Portland/Eugene area, that the North West is incredibly over-represented in the commenter section. Which probably just means we all need to go outside more.
The story was broken on Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2008, by The Reliable Source column in The Washington Post. The column is written by Amy Argetsinger and Roxanne Roberts. They broke the story, for the record.
Lascauxcaveman: Norm Dicks reminds of when I was a kid living in the middle of nowhere and one family member would volunteer to drive “into town” and we would give them our shopping lists and coupons and they would storm the Wall and K Marts and buy up everything and bring it back to us, only in this scenario, Norm shops the DC pork barrels.
My liberal conscience feels guilty, but I must admire the old school quality of his gub-menting.
Ok, sorry, no more WA politician reminicing. Port Angeles rules. I dream of retireing there one day.
My liberal conscience feels guilty, but I must admire the old school quality of his gub-menting.
http://christmasmaster.org/view-christmas-music-online.html