Wonkette
- Barack Obama revealed his National Security Team of Rivals today. The shadowy cabal is headed up by his notorious arch-enemy Janet Napolitano. [CBS News]
- The Media and The Retailers are complicit in perpetuating the myth of Black Friday, in which a Wal-Mart worker is trampled to death to commemorate the birth of our Lord and savior, Ronald McDonald. [New York Times]
- Very recently, your left-wing PBS “Frontline” producers were warning that Pakistan was hosed six ways from Sunday and would give the Western world night terrors for years to come, and voila, the attacks in India appear to come from a Pakistani militant group. [Christian Science Monitor]
- The mayor of Birmingham, Alabama has been arrested for some sort of boring financial crookery. [Bloomberg]
- If you live in Australia, you will have a chance to see the moon making a smiley face at you and HAUNTING YOUR DREAMS. [Fox News]
welcome back Sarah.
oops, Sara.
ahhh… all better….
It’s like that time I went to camp for a week and couldn’t find an opportunity to jerk off until I got home. I just snarked all over my laptop screen.
I always go with two alarms - one on the clock radio and one on my cellphone; even if the power goes out, I am guaranteed to have an alarm. I set them 5 minutes apart. Haven’t overslept once.
You might want to look into it.
That’s a long way to go to goose “Frontline” ratings.
So, when are you due back in court?
Maybe that smiley face is Barack Obama’s batsignal to the Team-o-Rivals.
There you are! You had us worried sick!
SK, what’s you’re cabinet position?
So nice of you to join us today, Sara. Hope you have a valid written excuse from a doctor (though we will accept jail release papers too).
So the smiley face killers finally made it down under…
“In the United States, the effect will be inverted and will appear as a frown.”
God is displeased with us. It’s your fault for not posting this morning, Wonkette.
Thank you!
What about holding the assholes trampling in the name of their Lard and SaveYourz responsible?
why is no one that excited about hillary as SOS?i even went to Salon as it’s the all-hillary-all-the-time channel on the web and the champagne still seems corked.
A smiley face? Hell, the universe can call me when it pulls off the Rolling Stones logo.
I though I would be stuck reading “Joe the Forum” all day.
Sounds like Obama’s shaping his cabinet so he alwasy knows where the white women at.
The moon can see you in your underwear.
Apparently Joe The Plumber’s video #2 on velocitystore.com is gonna have some blonde in it with him. Video #3 should be the porn that everyone predicted.
Sara, how could you? You better have a good excuse. Let me see, you were abducted by a tribe of lesbian muslin.
Sara! Daddy said you were gone forever, but I knew you’d come back from the grocery store one of these days!
Holy Wonkette Withdrawal Batman!
We’ve had one elbow in the back of Pakistan during the entire war on Iraq, and it’s a miracle the state has held together. Not sure if people know how diverse the country is; there’s a river that cuts right through it, with the Iranian-ish groups on the west, and the Indian-ish groups on the east, making it almost as segregated as Milwaukee.
In Obama’s America, every Friday is Black Friday.
Is it just me, or does the moon over Australia look stoned?
IslandGirlFL: Getting … darker … must … make … snarky … comments …
Thank Jeebus Sara’s here. We all thought we’d be without adult supervision all day long.
S’ok, sara luv. I didn’t roll out of bed until near aft.
Believe me, the road to victory in the war against Christmas runs through Thanksgiving.
Did you know that the phrase “Black Friday” was originally used by cops to describe the terrible traffic in Philadelphia on the day after Thanksgiving?
Pakistan and terror. Where have I heard that before? Something having to do with numbers like 11 and 9, New York City, a lisping failure in drag as US America’s hero/zero, hardline intelligence agency funding/training Islamic Fundamentalist terrorist groups, a dude with the initials OBL and something about…what was it?… never remember, always forget or some shit like that.
freakishlystrong: too easy.
Oh, quit your crabbin’ Isn’t anyone here old enough to remember when newspapers came out in the afternoon?
What?
Newspapers! They were these pieces of paper with writing on them? About things that were happening? They, oh hell, never mind.
Uh, that “celestial smiley face”?
Not so much. Big disapoointment.
Janet Nap, the Lebanese governor of Arizona, is about to head to D.C. leaving the red state in the hands of hard-core redneck republicans. The soon to be governor, Brewer (that is her name, because she drives us to drink) and the other repubs in the legislature are chomping at the bit to slash education (AZ is 48th in ed spending, they want us #50) and will likely all but ban abortions.
Janet has kept these idiots at bay for 6 years, maybe Obama is hoping she can do the same to Al Q!!
Australians are getting a big hello from the heavens as Venus, Jupiter…In the United States, the effect will be inverted and will appear as a frown.
Humph. Who knew the Cosmos hated our freedoms?
Sussemilch: Also, the Khyber Pass is now in the control of Mormons and the Pakistani terrorists in Mumbai were all found to be carrying E-Meters. And don’t get me talking about the fat, loud German tourists with villas in the Kush.
Bads times for a pluralistic Pakistan.
The mayor of Birmingham is a dick. I heard him tell a youth development conference that all kids need is a good butt whipping.
He’s a crook, as is Don Siegelman, the former governor. They are why Alabamians and other Southerners don’t trust the gubment.
Ted Perino: When he said “butt whipping” he meant overzealous discipline of children, being a Democrat. If a Repub said that at a youth conference it would be the signal for the S&M sex with underage boys to begin.
Hrrm. Did someone mention both butts and whipping? Because I am now 150% alert.
Finally, someone stuffed it in that monkey’s face.
Napolitano. And now I want Neapolitan ice cream.
God, talk about performance anxiety. Glad you guys/+ got your groove on before the mob held you down and force-fed you Wonkagra. I bet next time your party host tells you it’s 3 a.m., time to give the cuffs back and hit the road, you’ll pay better attention.
But this is really about Janet N, or her new title, She-Ra of der Motherland. In Arizona, the sky is crying. We just came off a bout of electioneering we knew was hopeless from the git-go, but we still had this pretty cool gov to ease our pain. And now we get a Repug replacement who will immediately cancel all our wind and solar projects, sell off our wildlands to the Chemical Zombies, and hire enforcers to beat Mexicans with sticks. So, safer now in der Motherland, not so cozy in the Angry Cowboy state. If all politics is truly local, we just got the whole durn flagpole.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmxT21uFRwM
If everyone in AZ is getting “whole durn flagpole,” I quake to think what she has planned for those of us in Tucson who not only voted for Hopey, but send Democrats to represent us in Congress.