Wonkette
- GATES TO STAY AT DEFENSE: Politico hears from officials from both parties that Barack Obama asked Bob “Who?” Gates to stay on as Defense Secretary, and Gates has accepted. So there’s your Token Republican cabinet member! Now Barry’s free to name Susan Sarandon to head Veterans Affairs, or whatever he wants. As for Gates: he could be a horrible warlord for all we know, but the most important thing is that he’s not fussy, and that’s a rare trait in this egocentric town of whiny bitches. And Gates even broke Bush administration decorum by exhibiting flairs of nuanced thinking every now and then. He and Obama will be best friends. [Politico]
Gates is going to stay at the pentagon? well, who is going to fix Vista?
qwerty42: Steve Ballmer (just kidding) Windows 7 will ignore all of the old bugs in Vista, and create a whole slew of new ones.
Can’t they give WALNUTS! something to do?
Haterz.
Chiquita Banana for head of the INS. Or maybe it should be Fez.
magic titty: Viceroy of Alaska.
tonashideska: maybe they should just go pre-NT and switch to OS/2. Or is Linux the way of the future?
Oh, Bob, so sorry to hear that you’ve decided to become a traitorous Marxist terror-terror black power Islamofascist mole. That’s a rough gig.
No one knows/cares who he is because he’s an apolitical braniac. He probably won’t even notice he’s taking orders from a different set of folks.
So the sequel to “Gears of War” could still be “Years of War.”
WHAT? I thought Barry was going to get rid of the standing army and create that cabinet post for Bin laden, once and for all?
What a flip-flopper.
I’m hope I can be Obama’s token furry. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…
Gates told the Air Force, his one-time branch, to suck it up and quit buying new fighters that no one needs. Ya gotta love this guy. “Tiny but perfectly-formed,” as Princess Sparklepony likes to note, also.
SkimLatteModerate: Au contraire: that’s what he wants you to think! Srsly, he has a knack for deflecting controversy, it seems to me. There’s an aura of yawny tediousness that he gives off that makes it difficult for anyone but the most zealous attacker to get excited or exercised about him. Now, that takes hard work and dedication to carry off. Any old dick can be an opinionated controversialist.
I’m still worried I knew who Admiral Ackbar was.
Is.
qwerty42: Why did I think this was funny?
Darn. I hoped Squawling Warbird Don Rumsfeld would be brought home from exile on Arakis to run the Pentagon again. He does it so well.
Yes, he’s one of the “good” republicans.
Always obeys legal authority.
Sans the Diaper: “Was” is correct, I’m afraid. He passed on of natural causes shortly before the end of the Yuuzhan Vong War.
TeddyS: Ha ha. We can all laugh about it now . . .
Those murderous vile cunts who strove to fuck up the world out of cheap vanity and ignorance: Rove, Rumsfeld, Cheney, two Bushes, etc. It will take decades to undo the harm they wrought on the world. Sometimes I wonder if, now that Hopey will with bitter herbs make us whole and so forth, people forgive a little too much the horror that cabinet visited upon everyone. Never Forget & Co.
So Brent Scowcroft really is running everything now.
wheelie: Calling them “cunts” is an insult to cunts, which have their indisputable virtues.
tonashideska: As a virginal computer nerd, I vow to hunt down and brutalize whoever thought it was a good idea to call version 6.1 of Windows “Windows 7.”
Susan Rice, Obama’s senior foreign policy adviser on the campaign, to be named U.S. ambassador to the United Nations
For your viewing pleasure, here is Ambassador-to-be Susan Rice putting a bit of the beatdown on Scarborough and David Gregory:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6dM-9-DXx4
V572625694: I apologize, you are right. Cunts get a bad rep from bad-mouthers from me. They are not nice cunts - the ones that are juicy, velvety, warm, inviting. They are the dry, diseased, unwashed, stinky types.
Also, I should remember not to bandy about the word too much or the webmarshal thing at work will block my access. This has happened before.
wheelie: duh. Bad-mouthers LIKE me.
Fail.
tonashideska: can they maybe revive some old bugs that had been fixed in the patchsets, huh? can they? please?
@V572625694: Indeed. In fact, I’m trying to get one installed on one of my subs.
Good. Bob Gates is a fine fellow and him sticking around for a year is probably a good thing. Obama didn’t make a bunch of promises about the military he can’t keep, ala No Bans on Teh Gayz from Clinton I. He might stay a year or 18 months, then retire to Seattle or where ever it is he wants to live and then Hillary will take that job.
…I like scapegoats!
-Shit hits the fan = Gates fault/You’re FIRED!
-Everything goes alright = Barry just turned water into wine!
Bob’s biggest slip as Secretary of Defense was on the ice in front of his house. Broke his right arm. Not to worry, says WaPo, since he is a lefty.
So’s Barry O, McCain, Papa Bush, Bill Clinton and Reagan.
Gates is tough. He survived having to live in College Station surrounded by Aggies. This is much tougher than some old washed up watergate burgler eating a rat. Take a looky here http://www.tamu.edu/
I was of course too scared by the picture of the “Student Body President” to click on the “Howdy! Portal”
SkimLatteModerate: “Mildred, have the photo on my wall swapped and I won’t be taking any calls this afternoon. Unless it’s Raytheon.”
P.T.T.: No kidding. Aggies who wept, yes wept, when he left.
Darehead: Lefties, eh? How sinister…
Ha! I made a latin joke!
smellyal8r:
There once was an Aggie who wept
When his eggie-head president leapt
To the District of C
When he went there to be
The pawn of the Pentagon’s sept.
Lame, lame — even tho Limerick is in Ireland and so are the septs.
*SayItWithWookies*
Pardon my thin-skinned response to your calling *bs* on me earlier in the month. My fuckin’ pneumoonia is still raging, so I’m blaming that bs on my actions. No, truly I have been ill. My eyes fell like solar panels in Acapulco. Anyhoo, thanks for noticing.
Constitutional Riots: I call bullshit. You do not have pneumonia, there are no solar panels in Acapulco, SayItWithWookies has never noticed you, nor called “bs” on you, I am the first person to notice you, and sometimes snark comes in the most MYSTERIOUS ways.
Therefore, if you are snarking, you win.
If you are serious, I hope you go away quickly and efficiently.
*SSS*
Win!!
Gates blows.
~
AngryBlakGuy: Is that you I see occasionally on the TGW puma blog?
~
Ha Bill Gates jokes as funny as Microsoft Seinfeld commercials. I laughed so hard I projectile vomited. If Obama keeps Bob Gates I will projectile vomit even more. You might even say I will have a surge of projectile vomiting. And then you will have to admit that the surge is working. Otherwise I will make you aware of just what projectile means. We’re talking unbridled world-famous Jammer’s ribs and curious gravy here. Gravy that’s out of a Tolkien novel. Dark and scary, but maybe with some friendly but aloof Elves lurking about to assist in the gastro-intestinal process. And a Hobbit to provide some comic and more practical relief. Hobbits are known to be high in fiber. You betcha!
I think it makes perfect sense to keep Secretary Gates in place; Obama is just being pragmatic. Gates has not been an ideologue the past two years. He has demonstrated competence, held subordinates accountable, and proven adept at operating in DC.
Most importantly of all, keeping a steady hand at DOD gives the new administration cover to focus on an ambitious domestic agenda.
If Obama is going to spend political capital, he will do so by expanding entitlement programs, especially Health Care, not by appeasing the idealists who see his election as the repudiation of every last second of the past 8 years.
Remember that episode of Family guy where they puke for several minutes straight? | null
bago: Oh c’mon, it’s not like Gates is like Powell who was like “I don’t care if you like, I’m taking my football back and going home and stuffs.” Gates is a malleable and easily manipulated man. He will be perfect for Barry, who will declare himself Military Dictator of Terrorism on January 21, 2009. Obviously.
We will celebrate for a day, and fear for the rest of our lives!!!!!!!1~!@!!!!@!
Bob W.: Gooood niigghht a ding ding ding ding.
bago: Yeah that was funny. Although if it doesn’t make you puke, it’s not that funny. When you puke, that’s buralagagaflor (did I really eat that?) gurablahg. Ha.
This sucks.
gurukalehuru: Yes. Yes, you do.
(DISCLAIMER: DUE TO RECENT INTERWEBS EVENTS THAT HAVE PEOPLE CONCOCTING SELF-INFLICTED PAIN ON THEMSELVES THAT RESULTS IN DEATH, PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THE COMMENT ABOVE TO MEAN NOTHING OTHER THEN YOU SUCK, AS LIKE A JOKE ER SOMETHING, SO PLEASE DO NOT TAKE SAID COMMENT AS A WAY OF PERSUADING YOU INTO HARMING YOURSELF OF OTHERS. SHORTSSHORTSSHORTS IS NOT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY HARM YOU PROPOUND ON YOURSELF OR OTHERS. BY READING THIS AGREEMENT YOU AGREE TO THESE TERMS OF SERVICE.)
I’m actually OK because it turns out he’ll be nominating Chris Rock to head the Joint Chiefs…and you know which joints I’m talkin’ ’bout.
Mr Blifil: The Chiefs are 1-10. Maybe they need more joints?
~
Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. But did anyone else here catch the Hugo Chavez program on NPR? “The Hugo Chavez Show”. Brilliant. I blogged the hell out of that.
http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/11/hugo-chavez-is-butthorn.html
I really hate that guy. As a pinko libtard it’s never easy for me to admit feelings of violence, but I’d take down that Ooogo bitch without a second thought.
Constitutional Riots: That’s so odd to see your reply because I was just thinking about our interaction earlier tonight and wishing I had made it more clear that my statements were only meant to amuse and not offend.
Anyway, I’m glad you’re back, I hope your pneumonia gets better real soon, and please don’t take anything I say too seriously, because unless you’re an AIG executive or the Secretary of Torture, I probably didn’t mean it that way.
Mojopo: Yes, Chavez sucks. Unfortunately, the Dubya administration made him more popular and more driven by approving of his overthrow. Democratic reform in South America is like jazz in the Soviet Union — by opposing it, the oppressors have made its most ridiculous and simplistic elements all the more popular. We end up with Michael Bolton being popular in Eastern Europe in the same way that Hugo is popular in South America. That’s what totalitarianism gets you eventually — crappy jazz and crappy democracy.
As the world’s only superpower (assuming we still hold that distinction) we’d be better off espousing our ideals rather than oppressing anyone who disagrees with us. Because that way, even if we lose, we don’t lose quite as badly.
SayItWithWookies: Well said, uh - Wookie. Indeed. better to lift up the masses than brow-beat them. Loved your analogy. Who knew Michael Bolton could figure in a discussion about Latin politics? Nicely done.
Hello Mr. Obama he who channels the spirit of Reagan of the “tread lightly and carry a big stick” mantra. Nice soup you got there…
—
I paid in some taxes. If it’s going to go to a bank, can I haz it back pleeze? Banks don’t like me so much, and I’m not fond of them.
OR
I haz this wheelbarrow of dollars paper; got any cheese?
Whatever. I still havn’t forgiven that fucker for Windows Vista.
Vista isn’t terribly bad except for when it gets a memory leaking process and then page-locks the UI thread. That is goddamned annoying. It’s almost as Outlook taking the threading book out back and covering it with 2 months worth of diarrhea. Threading, windows scheduling, not blocking you message pump, that’s what windows was designed to do. Outlook == massive fail.
bago: Bill Gates isn’t so bad. He’s not responsible for Lotus Notes.
HomoPolitico:
Truly, ANY version of Windows. However, Internet Explorer is what should be completely scrapped. EPIC FAIL, and no amount of patching will ever fix it.
I wanted Kucinich as head of DOD, but Gates will do for now. By spring he will be replaced by one of those new robot soldiers anyway.
Don’t blame me, I voted for Leopard.
I have worked under Gates and actually met him in the cafeteria and had a short, no pun intended as we are about the same height, conversation with him. He is a good, pragmatic leader on the subjects of defense and intelligence. He is a good choice for now and will ensure that we transition well.
SayItWithWookies: Kenny G is huge in China.
qwerty42: Pfft! Windows Vista is Mac 87…
Wait, what?
um, wheelie: Kenny G is huge in the U.S….we should all just kill ourselves now…
Maybe if this doesn’t work out, Bob Gates can get a job replacing the spokesman for the apple growers, ‘Bob for Apples’. “Hi, I’m Bob…for Apples.” That always cracks me up, but then I’m easily amused (hence Wonkette).
wheelie: And in elevators everywhere. “IZ IN UR ELEVATUR, SAPPIN UR WILL 2 LIVE”
TGY: I bet you laughed at the “dry-bob” joke in the Dedication to Byron’s Don Juan too.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Get vadges installed on your subs? Are you really Secretary of the Navy? Or just a prime contractor?
Every time I see the NYT headline “Obama to Keep Gates at Defence Department” I want to shout: “Of course he is! Otherwise anyone could just walk in off the street!”
Hello Sunshine: Heh. That’s almost as good as Bob for Apples.
I, too, am easily amused.
V572625694: Slightly OT — how come PrincessSparklePony never plays with Wonkette anymore? Started his own blog, I bet, the traitor.
I hz a sad when the big commenters leave. Except FlyingChainSaw, he was just scary.
It is a true testament to Rumsfeld that the bar is so low now that firing people for misplacing nuclear weapons (instead of promoting them) earns Gates such praise.