Wonkette
YOUR EDITOR HAS TO GO TAPE A RADIO THING NOW: Wonkette’s own Sara K. Smith will be on the “Good News, Bad News, No News” segment of Weekend America tomorrow, offering her valuable opinions on the news — that is, unless she chokes on her tongue during the taping, or is unable to come up with family-friendly descriptors for Joe Lieberman. The point is, Ken will be posting “soon.” [Weekend America]
kthnxbye
What songs will you sing?
Don’t pull a Mukasey and go all fainty-like.
The Wonkette equivalent of Elvis is in/has left the building. Actually, the technological capability now exists to implant GPS devices on all Wonkette editors and have their whereabouts displayed on the site in real time: an interesting guide to the fleshpots of DC.
remember- the louder you talk the more listeners you will have
“Each week, a revolving panel of non-experts review the week’s events in a parlor game to gauge what kind of week America had.”
So I take it that this going to be some kind of radio Twister?
Pleaz mention Butt-Secks
Radio? Sara K. Smith belongs on Television says I. I demand that she be booked on “The Daily Show” forthwith!
be mindful of the fairness doctrine, everytime you say joe leiberman is a fucktard you have to say sarah palin is hawt. Everytime you say john “boner” is a tool you have to say BHO has a big tool.
“…there’s a feller in there that’ll pay you ten dollars if you sing into his can…”
Brag, brag, brag.
Everyone should call in and say “babba booey”.
can wonkette commenters call in to try to prove they can be funny too by endlessly repeating commenter inside jokes whether funny or not?
assfucking!
Remember, it’s all about the grammar.
We’ll be parsing your every word and posting corrections/admonitions here. shortsshortsshorts will probably post his corrections on pornhub.com.
As for family friendly ways of describing Lieberman, you could always fall back on Shakespeare:
That infectious rump-fed scullian, Joe Lieberman.
That roguish motley-minded skainsmate, Joe Lieberman.
That wayward motley-minded lewdster, Joe Lieberman.
That unmuzzled fen-sucked nut-hook, Joe Lieberman.
That artless clapper-clawed bugbear, Joe Lieberman.
That tottering fly-bitten barnacle, Joe Lieberman.
Hey! Welcome to the club, Sara. I once was interviewed for NPR’s weekend edition.
I’ve been ignored ever since.
“family friendly descriptors for Joe Lieberman”- Okay people. Start nominations now.
Walrus-like.
metropolitan: Yiffpile!
judging from the lurid reaction everytime a picture of SKS appears on Wonkette, if her voice is hot too, there should be millions of tiny starbursts ricocheting around blog-readers’ basements tomorrow. but don’t let that mental image put you off your game, SKS! this could be the big break you’ve been waiting for…
Great job SKS. I recently received an invitation to interview with some guy named “Al Sadr” on the radio show “Jihad Allah Sherpa.” Don’t know what it is but I bet it’ll be FUN!
Damnit, my radio’s on the blink again. Can they make a recording so we can all hear it on the Victrola machine?
trucknutz!
ManchuCandidate: and Truck Nutz
guangho: Well in my family it is friendly to call him a CUNT.
Anna Paquin did great things for her career by going topless on “True Blood.” I’m just saying.
…+1 if you find a way to slide “Bathroom Goblin” in, +2 if can get “Buttsecs” in and +3 if you say “Truck Nutz”!
Doglessliberal:
Yesterday’s Daily Show actually had a TruckNutz shoutout.
As a fem, you will asked to compare SP’s wardrobe with Michelle O.’s. (Unless David Rakoff is there too. Then he might chime in with one of his catty gayista comments.) So be honest. Sarah Palin dresses like the Anchorage version of a mid-priced call girl. There. I said it. Shoot me.
As the representative for the Wonkette name and reputation, you are obligated not to be outdone in the Palin Turkey Incident zinger competition.
guangho: Douchebag? Nah, too sexist. Twatwaffle? Too nouveau. Mormon? Too Romney-esque. DAMN, this iz hard!
Remember, you can flash the bird every time you say ‘Joe Lieberman’ and nobody will know. The magic of radio.
Radio: A device that is a series of TUBES!! The interwebs, another series of tubes, can’t be far behind!
Meanwhile, next week, Sara will appear in her very own Kinetescope! Will she be as brave as Alaska’s GILF and make a live apperance in front of slaughtered fowl?
when i was growing up there used to be a show called “nightflight” on late night weekends on the USA network that had an incredibly sexy announcer voice telling us all bout jesus and mary chain videos and minor threat documentaries and for years i fantasized about that hot babe.
many years later i met her son and was totally broken down to realize my fantasy sultry voiced babe was far from the hottie i had imagined or even milf status.
soooo.. with that anecdote said, i’m here sort of hoping you voice sounds like fred thompson’s.
blader: “I once was interviewed for NPR’s weekend edition.”
Were you in a hurricane, like the poor old lady with her tongue sticking out? I am going to hell for saying that.
AngryBlakGuy: I will send SKS a twenty dollar bill if she says “buttsecks” at any point during the interview and posts it here. I will seriously do that. IZ SERIES BIZNIZZ ON DIS.
Sara is appearing on a show that is partially funded by the National Endowment for the Arts.
Sara, our editor–I feel so less moronic about the life I waste reading the shit on wonkette.
SKS, silently mouth the word “asshole” after every time you say “Joe Lieberman”. We will know by the brief pause what you’re doing. Fun stuff!
Her tongue is the last thing Sara should be concerned about choking on…it’s hard out there being a Wonkette Propoganda Operative.
DustBowlBlues:
Sara is appearing on a show that is partially funded by the National Endowment for the Arts.
Does this mean she’ll be naked? ‘Cause I might tune in in that case.
Sara, I will PayPal you $5 if you can manage to work in the phrase “Wait wait, don’t tell me” in a credible and hilarious sort of way.
Also, if your voice sounds like Sarah Palin’s, we will hunt you down and kill you.
I wonder if Sara will sound like Kathleen Turner.
I bet she will.
Lascauxcaveman:
I don’t know a whole lot about Sarah, but I’ve always imagined that she’s wither a Harvard girl or a Yalie who’s writing for Wonkette as a means of earning a little extra cash while she finishes her PhD on Emily Dickinson. I seriously doubt she sounds like Palin.
Lascauxcaveman: Are Robert Siegel? Peter Seigel? I get all the NPR Siegel’s mixed up.
There you have it. I spend my life reading wonkette and listening to NPR. Then I wonder why I can’t relate to the hillbillies around here.
But you bring up an interesting thing. In an internets time-wasting kind of interesting way. Have our editors ever been on Wait, Wait? If not, why not?
Let’s demand the wonkette editor(s) appear or we will start sending bomb threats and envelopes full of baby powder to, I don’t know, I’ve already forgotten what I was talking about.
Fuck. Suzy Ormond (sp?) is recommending that people don’t give their kids gifts for Xmas and just tell the little shits to be glad they have a roof over their heads. Does the roof have to be shingled, or will cardboard do?
It sucks to be us. All of us. If I have to start killing armadillos and possums and eating them, I am so going to call it Bushmeat.
I hope you mention how important it is to use apostrophes properly when pluralizing. Enquiring minds want to know!
shortsshortsshorts: i wouldd also be will to kick in 20 bux . IF IF, she says buttsecks in the appropiate context. By that i mean, “yes but, sex is still….” will not cut it. IT has to be
Larry McAwful: Don’t you mean “inquiring mind’s want to know”?
Serolf Divad: Nothing is hotter than radio nudity.
loquaciousmusic: I see extra apostrophe’s in my dream’s and wake up screaming at least twice a week. Now my doctors going to have to up my prescription. Again. I hope your proud of you’reself.
ManchuCandidate:
Yes, I saw that.
It is gratifying to know our work here at Wonkette means something.
Serolf Divad: oh, GOD! Just the thought of hearing a secksy Wonkette editor nekkid on the radio tubes makes me “sit up a little straighter” if’in ya catch my drift!
Wink at me, Sara, wink at me!!!
I love it when our editors do growed-up things.
where is Ken?
I ran out at lunch and saw a pair of seafoam trucknuts hanging on the back of an old jeep’s trailer hitch. And they were blinking! I thought it was an urban legend. WTF?
Monkey: Haha, whippersnappers.
azw88: Remember to report back to us regarding the starbursts emerging from the radio when Sara’s on.
Anyone notice Jon Stewarts’s use of “TruckNutz” on the Daily Show?
Serolf Divad: You may have heard this old Lenny Bruce bit about how if Albert Einstein had a deep Texas accent, he would have been written off by the scientific community before he had a chance to prove his brilliance:
[Einstein] “Wayall, folks, lemme tellya a li’l bit ’bout this h’yar new-clear-fissin’ eye-deer ah bin workin’ awhhn…”
[scientists] “Ah, just shuttup you idiot schmuck.”
Hmmm, “Good News, Bad News, No News” — specifically, which one are you addressing?
Or is the “After the Coma” story about your popcorn-induced condition on election night?
I only hope that I can find it streaming somewhere from my redneck’t cabin region. Inquiring minds want to know…
facehead: Yes - Trucknutz use was brilliant! So which wonkette user is Stewart’s alter ego?
BTW, do you have any more ideas for rebuildtheparty.com? They’ve flagged the Redtube idea as inappropriate (after like a week). I must be entertained this weekend.
You were awesome - I hope they put you on regular rotation. Or your own show? Yummmm….