Wonkette
Well phew now everybody can just go back to mocking this guy for being a torture-lovin’ Bush sellout, because that scary incident where Michael Mukasey conked out in the middle of a speech did not signify a stroke or a heart attack or anything serious. He just had what a spokeswoman for the Department of Justice called “a fainting spell,” which is Republican code for “collapse due to oldness.”
Michael Mukasey is the most invisible Attorney General in the world, having followed the two scintillating Bush appointees Alberto Gonzales, a feeble-minded toady who liked to fire people for being Democrats, and John Ashcroft, a Broadway songbird trapped in the body of a Christian conservative. Literally the only thing Michael Mukasey could do to emerge from the shadow of these two giants was suffer a spectacular fainting spell onstage, which he did, and by tomorrow everybody will wake up and be like, “Who is this Mukasey guy? Sounds like a skin rash.”
AG Mukasey collapsed in ‘fainting spell,’ official says [CNN]
He forgot to bring his smelling salts.
A toxic mix of nervousness and Wild Turkey.
What, was his corset too tight? Who the fuck faints anymore?
I can’t wait to see the TV movie about this.
I watched the clip hoping his grizzled old head would hit the mike with a lovely “Clunk”. No such luck.
It’s the corset, obviously. Release the stays!
I fall asleep at work all the time. So hang in there Mukasey it’s no uh uh ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZ…
the last days of the bush administration are starting to read like a bronte sisters novel.
Was reading this http://www.dni.gov/nic/NIC_2025_project.html
Now I have vapors too.
honestly, the incident wasn’t that “scary” to begin with, and hardly worthy of cnn’s “breaking newsphlash,” which i watched, repeatedly, until i realized it was about as exciting as watching my granddad fall asleep after thanksgiving dinner. which is all mukasey did here. guy’s just a total dud, is all. ‘night, pap-pap.
It was during a speech defending the Bush Admin policies and “successes”, so I was thinking the tiny, tiny part of him that is revolted by what he was defending surged up and overwhelmed him with self-loathing, disgust, and guilt, and so he fainted.
But probably not.
Spending too much time with the Federalist Society you can catch arteriosclerosis as well as peepee droop.
Fainting, but no projectile vomiting? Boo.
sleepy: Palin’s turkey episode got “breaking news” status. The bar is so low that it is buried underground.
Fuck that. This is like Britney Spears and Courtenay Love going to the hospital for “exhaustion” and “dehydration”. Dude is chasing the dragon.
He’ll be on the fainting couch.
Cutty Sark straight can give you a touch of the vapors.
I was so hoping he would say in a lovely Southern accent, “Oh dear, I do believe I’ve a touch of the vapors” while fanning himself in a genteel fashion.
I call diva schtick. Look, he can’t sing, can’t dance, all he has is his acting ability (see confirmation hearings). Dubya is gettng all the fail attention and he just wants some too. I expect to see him trying to play one-on-one with Hopey by Thanksgiving.
At least he didn’t puke on foreign leaders.
I was so hoping that someone had spiked his glass of Famous Grouse with a tab of acid.
The guy fainted from being under some hot lights.
I think he would now change his mind about the effects of water-boarding.
from washpost:
“A second man, 29, from the audience was also taken to a hospital for observation after reporting that he was upset by the fainting spell, officials said.”
Who’s this loser?
So it was basically a cry for attention. Oh, look at me, I count too! They don’t even know my name… boohoo… boohoo.
…being that he is a Republican, he probably just faked it to get a little mouth to mouth from the bald guy.
seriesoftubescleaner: Tucker Carlson. He lied about his age.
Cape Clod:
He would’ve pissed himself laughing.
Hey, maybe if we’re lucky tomorrow it’ll turn out that the economy just had a touch of the vapors, too, and the DOW will climb to 14,000.
The photo makes it look like Mukasey is on the receiving end of stand-up buttsecks while the bald guy is giving him a happy ending. Gay porn brought to you by Marriott — a Mormon-run company!
seriesoftubescleaner: I think the phrase “mindless sheep” is ready for retirement, but come on, Republicans. Sympathy fainting, for fuck’s sake? I suppose this “second man” probably can’t resist jacking off and flinging his own poo when he visits the monkey house at the DC zoo.
When I faint the nation doesn’t suspend itself in a state of prayer.
Meh. Maybe now he knows how the detainees feel in Gitmo.
Well, that’s better than a fit of the vapors.
seriesoftubescleaner: It’s his mansexslave; he was worried that after Prop 8 he wasn’t going to be allowed to see his Honekasey in the hospital and Monkeysey’s children from 3 straight marriages were going to inherit the Hummel collection they’d so lovingly assembled.
seriesoftubescleaner: His partner- Mukasey didn’t know he would show up- so he fainted and boyfriend couldn’t deal with it- so he fake fainted.
Vewol Mevemont: Next thing we know, he’ll show up with a backward B on his face.
facehead wins.
This is simple - Mukey was engaging in a self-masturbatory circle jerk comprised of bush hooting Federalists.
Hypocrisy leads to Hyperventilating.
Old dudes should avoid both.
Wait, were we supposed to stop mocking him just because he was going to die before asking Baby Jeebers to forgive him for all the torture and who knows what other dispicable acts he’s been committing in the name of freedom? I’m going with “no” on that one.
freakishlystrong:
The report you don’t hear about is Sen. Larry Craig trying to revive him with a nosegay.
Filling Gonzales’ position requires a fatal dose of paint fumes.
freakishlystrong: Maybe he was locking his knees. In marching band we were warned against that. Ever see someone faint on their sousaphone? More painful to watch than this, I assure you.
imagine if Paulson had done this at the congressional hearings! that would seem more appropriate under the circumstances. c’mon Hank let’s see what you’ve got.
I figure new and improved ‘Mukasey’ will appear tomorrow, declare the elections illegal, and institute martial law. the original Mukasey was already put through the turkey grinder to hide the evidence.
and finally: maybe someone put like 10 viagras in his Crown Royal and he fainted due to uhhh, blood displacement
My cousin’s old VW Bug used to vapor lock all of the time. I didn’t realize that Mukasey was really a rear-engine, air-cooled, cheap to run and repair import.
Wow, the Bush Administration thinks of everything when it comes to ‘taking care of’ the legal system in America!
MoodProcessor: CorkPopper: Ahh..nosegays and sousaphones, I shall be toasting y’all with a sidecar this evening.
Someone must have told him that the next Attorney General was probably going to serve subpoenas from Congress and he got a little lightheaded. Unfortunately no fainting couches were near. I’m just glad they didn’t tell him about the Boumedine case, his head might have popped off.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
I was thinking it was a thunderbolt of divine retribution like the hard-core Christians warn us about. Next up: James Dobson has a seizure while defending Prop 8.
So, Ralph Nader’s humus recipe wasn’t invovled?
He looks like a puppet being laid down by his master, maybe it was really Cheney who fainted and Mukasky’s strings went slack
I guess he suddenly figured out his pals at the Federalist Society were going to be able to provide exactly zero assistance at keeping him out of prison once he’s out of office.
seriesoftubescleaner: His lover of course!
The photo is great. It makes it look like the security goon is helping pap pap pee…
“Ah say! These Supreme Court rulings on Gitmo prisoners have done given me the vapors.”
Mystery solved!! He ‘got the vapors’ my ass, he passed out because of oral sex: here’s what happened
Rumor has it that this guy actually has somewhat of a conscience. Let this be an example to all Bushites to keep your goddam mouths shut, lest they feel the power of the Dark Side.
Don’t be fooled. This is Cheney’s way of saying, “We can get you anytime and anywhere…You will die with our secrets…”
facehead: Really bad news. Your rebuildtheparty.com entry has been flagged as inappropriate (after 1 week). How the hell am I going to entertain myself over the weekend. I need your leadership!!
http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72887
I thought he was going to be run through the turkey grinder.
I think Mukasey just set the gold standard for how all Bush appointees will be handling public appearances between now and January 20th. “How do I defend the last 8 years of egregious, felonious incompetence? Well I’ll tell you, it’s very simple…” [eyes roll up in head..thud as they hit the ground]
It works for fainting goats.
He was hit by a small impeach Bush dart.
Now that he’s ok I can tell the old fucking bastard to take a dirt nap?
Liquid lunch?
So Mukasey just fell asleep at the wheel (podium), is that it? Well, what a lazy fuck!