BREAKING  10:38 pm November 20, 2008

by Jim Newell

  • RUH ROH: “Attorney General Michael Mukasey collapsed Thursday night while giving a speech to the Federalist Society in Washington, according to three senior administration officials… At 10:30 p.m. Eastern, medical officials were still working on him on the stage, administration witnesses said.” [Politico]
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jagorev November 20, 2008 at 10:42 pm

Hope it’s nothing serious. No snark here, just well wishes for him and his family.

Texan Bulldoggette November 20, 2008 at 10:43 pm

Well then now’s the time for Bush & his cronies to get him to sign off on something to put another crack in the Constitution like they did when Ashcroft was hospitalized.

DoctorCulturae November 20, 2008 at 10:46 pm

[re=182851]jagorev[/re]: Agreed. It certainly couldn’t be easy being AG these days.

onosideboard November 20, 2008 at 10:48 pm has this as “breaking news” but they aren’t actually talking about it on CNN. ??

rambone November 20, 2008 at 10:50 pm

[re=182857]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Well, it probably helps that you don’t actually have to enforce the Bill of Rights anymore.

TommySez November 20, 2008 at 10:50 pm

Hard to feel too bad for someone who thinks torture is okay as long as it’s not done to him.

shortsshortsshorts November 20, 2008 at 10:51 pm

It should have been Gonzales. TOO BAAD.
Mukasey is the lamb, sacrificed for us all.

timeoutofmind November 20, 2008 at 10:51 pm

waterboard him. seems to snap the others out of their lethargy.

Fly-over Correspondent November 20, 2008 at 10:52 pm

Fit of conscience, possibly? Don’t worry, there’s drugs for that. Ask Rush, his housekeeper might know where you can get some.

glamourdammerung November 20, 2008 at 10:54 pm

I am guessing his last words were something along the lines of “I will cooperate with the authorities after Bush’s term is up”.

AxmxZ November 20, 2008 at 10:55 pm

I hope the secret son of the Russian spy is okay.

(That’s right. I know.)

glamourdammerung November 20, 2008 at 10:56 pm

[re=182867]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: They are both about as unfit to hold that position, even if Mukasey tends to say stupid things a bit less often.

Remember kids, not all the times you break the law count as crimes!

Panderfinder November 20, 2008 at 10:57 pm

With Jagorev on this one. Wishing harm on anyone is vile.

But the image of those lawyers at the Federalist Society
praying is quite something. (next graf in the Politico story)

shortsshortsshorts November 20, 2008 at 11:01 pm

[re=182875]glamourdammerung[/re]: I remember that statement, hold it dear to my heart, and wonder why it didn’t mean shit to anyone CONSTANTLY. But nay, such es life, sayz the fabled Peggy Noonington.

Guppy06 November 20, 2008 at 11:03 pm

When will it be revealed that he secretly defended the Bill of Rights in his hospital bed from his own staffers?

hockeymom November 20, 2008 at 11:05 pm

I hope he recovers.

jagorev November 20, 2008 at 11:05 pm

[re=182876]Panderfinder[/re]: Well, I wouldn’t go that far. Wishing harm on Jesse Helms, for instance, or Osama bin Laden, is fine by me. Mukasey, however, doesn’t rise to that level. I want to see him indicted, not die of a stroke.

glamourdammerung November 20, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=182876]Panderfinder[/re]: I do not wish harm on Mukasey. However, I really do not tend to care when bad things happen to bad people.

rambone November 20, 2008 at 11:06 pm

[re=182876]Panderfinder[/re]: “Wishing harm on anyone is vile.”

I bet some of those American citizens this administration has decided to lock up without benefit of trial would prefer nasty wishes to the treatment they’ve been subjected to. Good thing they’re just terrorists, though.

Looks like God might have opened another door for another right-wing nutjob to enhance his resume with a couple months of AG experience.

obfuscator November 20, 2008 at 11:07 pm


Jon Stewart just mentioned TRUCK NUTZ on The Daily Show.

Canuck13652 November 20, 2008 at 11:12 pm

[re=182872]glamourdammerung[/re]: He was secretly thinking that he was going to cooperate, and Cheney picked it up with his mind-reading powers and caused Mukasey to have a stroke. Expect more of these in the days to come.

Advocatus_Diaboli November 20, 2008 at 11:14 pm

So does cognitive dissonance possibly cause physical ailments? Jesus Christ, the apologist for the shredding of the constitution is speaking at the fucking Federalist Society when he collapses? Without wishing ill on anyway (besides Cheney), yeah, dude, I’d say there are consequences; or at least just desserts.

OzoneTom November 20, 2008 at 11:16 pm

Was he going to raise questions about Bush pardoning himself?

AnglRdr November 20, 2008 at 11:19 pm

I want him to recover, too.

But that is so he can stand trial for whatever crimes he’s committed.

ph7 November 20, 2008 at 11:20 pm

Audience members said they began praying, fearing a stroke

I preferred the reaction of Tim Johnson’s audience: call a doctor.

Gopherit November 20, 2008 at 11:23 pm

Karma is a bitch.

InKnockYouUs November 20, 2008 at 11:29 pm

He was talking about the Bush administration’s success in combating terrorism. Maybe the irony got to him. (Hope he is okay too.)

sanantonerose November 20, 2008 at 11:30 pm

How horrible to collapse at a Federalist Society meeting. That’s no way to go.

mordecaibrown1908 November 20, 2008 at 11:32 pm

[re=182885]glamourdammerung[/re]: Compared to the previous two occupants of the job, Mukasey is a freakin’ prince. But I fear this won’t end well for him.

spencer November 20, 2008 at 11:39 pm

They are “working on him”? SEXYTIME!

Gopherit November 20, 2008 at 11:40 pm

If only the rest of the admin can go less peacefully, the universe will have righted itself.

Fear of a Black Reagan November 20, 2008 at 11:40 pm

[re=182907]mordecaibrown1908[/re]: Compared to the previous two occupants of the job, Mukasey is a freakin’ prince.

That’s true…considering that Alberto Gonzalez was the worst attorney general since John Ashcroft, and John Ashcroft was the worst attorney general since Janet Reno.

But I fear this won’t end well for him.

C’mon, let’s be optimists here! I can think of a few ways it could work out well – like for example he gets remembered as only equally terrible as Janet Reno.

rambone November 20, 2008 at 11:41 pm

[re=182905]sanantonerose[/re]: Well, pretty much anything that happens next has to be an improvement, right?

Fear of a Black Reagan November 20, 2008 at 11:43 pm

Meanwhile, Ron Paul is still alive, healthy, not surrounded by Federalist Society homo-creeps, and most likely grinning like a retard (n.b. not because of this news, just cuz that’s how he rolls). PROOF! There is a just God.

druranium November 20, 2008 at 11:48 pm

[re=182887]obfuscator[/re]: TRUCK NUTZ HAT TIP!!!
also, get well soon Michael; your country needs you to testify.

NYNYNY November 20, 2008 at 11:54 pm

Jesus, I said burn down the Federalist Society, can’t you get anything right!?

dontquitnow November 21, 2008 at 12:05 am

I see the first indications of Polonium 210 poisoning. Just sayin.

(Get well soon, the prosecution can’t answer it’s own questions)

sanantonerose November 21, 2008 at 12:08 am

[re=182911]rambone[/re]: I dunno. Getting assfucked by Dick Cheney while you’re collapsed at a Federalist Society meeting is probably not an improvement.

Fly-over Correspondent November 21, 2008 at 12:17 am

[re=182905]sanantonerose[/re]: Reminds me of something my momma used to say: “Is that what you want to be doing when Jesus comes back?”

rambone November 21, 2008 at 12:20 am

[re=182928]sanantonerose[/re]: I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Purple Tide November 21, 2008 at 12:28 am

Mukasey is a living (albeit ailing) embodiment of the Bush Administration’s current condition. Can they all collectively throw in the towel a little early? It’s gonna take the first four years just scrubbing the stink out of the Oval Office, right Presidente Chavez?

I don’t wish PHYSICAL ill on any one. Get well, little Mikey, well enough to receive a subpoena.

Gopherit November 21, 2008 at 12:30 am

[re=182928]sanantonerose[/re]: like he can feel it, rose. It’s all good.

CuntryFirst November 21, 2008 at 12:30 am

I can’t believe you people are making fun of this serious condition.

BTW, so if he dies, will he be put in a Mukasket?

Simony November 21, 2008 at 12:31 am

Catecholamine blockade stimulants are frequently prescribed (if not at JFK levels.)..even at 67.

If he has a rapid recovery, consider a no-go-pill seizure before a CVA. (Hope so.)

rambone November 21, 2008 at 12:40 am

[re=182939]Simony[/re]: A witch! A witch!

Upthruster November 21, 2008 at 12:47 am

“CBS News reported that the attorney general began slurring his words about 15 or 20 minutes into a speech touching on Bush administration successes in the war on terrorism.”

Don’t sound good, but even Bush would slurr a few on that topic…just to save face.

sanantonerose November 21, 2008 at 12:49 am

[re=182932]rambone[/re]: Heh. I like you.

FatCog November 21, 2008 at 12:58 am

and we were staring at the thought of a 73 yr old man becoming president??

Neilist November 21, 2008 at 1:14 am

This just in: Emergency medical personnel report that Mukasey’s last remaining shred of integrity lept out of his chest and started to strangle him.

The traumatic event occurred immediately after a member of the Federalist audience asked the stricken Attorney General about the constitutionality of “blanket preemptive Presidential pardons” . . . .

Anita Cocktail November 21, 2008 at 8:46 am

I don’t blame him. I’d fake a fainting spell to avoid mingling with the Federalist Society any day.

null November 21, 2008 at 11:23 am

As when a law is broken, but no crime is committed, so did the swift-footed Achaeans… Oh, wait. Are we sure this isn’t some kind of “Dave” maneuver?

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