About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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51 comments

  1. Texan Bulldoggette

    Well then now’s the time for Bush & his cronies to get him to sign off on something to put another crack in the Constitution like they did when Ashcroft was hospitalized.

  2. rambone

    [re=182857]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Well, it probably helps that you don’t actually have to enforce the Bill of Rights anymore.

  3. Fly-over Correspondent

    Fit of conscience, possibly? Don’t worry, there’s drugs for that. Ask Rush, his housekeeper might know where you can get some.

  4. glamourdammerung

    I am guessing his last words were something along the lines of “I will cooperate with the authorities after Bush’s term is up”.

  5. glamourdammerung

    [re=182867]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: They are both about as unfit to hold that position, even if Mukasey tends to say stupid things a bit less often.

    Remember kids, not all the times you break the law count as crimes!

  6. Panderfinder

    With Jagorev on this one. Wishing harm on anyone is vile.

    But the image of those lawyers at the Federalist Society
    praying is quite something. (next graf in the Politico story)

  7. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=182875]glamourdammerung[/re]: I remember that statement, hold it dear to my heart, and wonder why it didn’t mean shit to anyone CONSTANTLY. But nay, such es life, sayz the fabled Peggy Noonington.

  8. Guppy06

    When will it be revealed that he secretly defended the Bill of Rights in his hospital bed from his own staffers?

  9. jagorev

    [re=182876]Panderfinder[/re]: Well, I wouldn’t go that far. Wishing harm on Jesse Helms, for instance, or Osama bin Laden, is fine by me. Mukasey, however, doesn’t rise to that level. I want to see him indicted, not die of a stroke.

  10. glamourdammerung

    [re=182876]Panderfinder[/re]: I do not wish harm on Mukasey. However, I really do not tend to care when bad things happen to bad people.

  11. rambone

    [re=182876]Panderfinder[/re]: “Wishing harm on anyone is vile.”

    I bet some of those American citizens this administration has decided to lock up without benefit of trial would prefer nasty wishes to the treatment they’ve been subjected to. Good thing they’re just terrorists, though.

    Looks like God might have opened another door for another right-wing nutjob to enhance his resume with a couple months of AG experience.

  12. Canuck13652

    [re=182872]glamourdammerung[/re]: He was secretly thinking that he was going to cooperate, and Cheney picked it up with his mind-reading powers and caused Mukasey to have a stroke. Expect more of these in the days to come.

  13. Advocatus_Diaboli

    So does cognitive dissonance possibly cause physical ailments? Jesus Christ, the apologist for the shredding of the constitution is speaking at the fucking Federalist Society when he collapses? Without wishing ill on anyway (besides Cheney), yeah, dude, I’d say there are consequences; or at least just desserts.

  14. ph7

    Audience members said they began praying, fearing a stroke

    I preferred the reaction of Tim Johnson’s audience: call a doctor.

  15. InKnockYouUs

    He was talking about the Bush administration’s success in combating terrorism. Maybe the irony got to him. (Hope he is okay too.)

  16. mordecaibrown1908

    [re=182885]glamourdammerung[/re]: Compared to the previous two occupants of the job, Mukasey is a freakin’ prince. But I fear this won’t end well for him.

  17. Fear of a Black Reagan

    [re=182907]mordecaibrown1908[/re]: Compared to the previous two occupants of the job, Mukasey is a freakin’ prince.

    That’s true…considering that Alberto Gonzalez was the worst attorney general since John Ashcroft, and John Ashcroft was the worst attorney general since Janet Reno.

    But I fear this won’t end well for him.

    C’mon, let’s be optimists here! I can think of a few ways it could work out well – like for example he gets remembered as only equally terrible as Janet Reno.

  18. rambone

    [re=182905]sanantonerose[/re]: Well, pretty much anything that happens next has to be an improvement, right?

  19. Fear of a Black Reagan

    Meanwhile, Ron Paul is still alive, healthy, not surrounded by Federalist Society homo-creeps, and most likely grinning like a retard (n.b. not because of this news, just cuz that’s how he rolls). PROOF! There is a just God.

  20. druranium

    [re=182887]obfuscator[/re]: TRUCK NUTZ HAT TIP!!!
    also, get well soon Michael; your country needs you to testify.

  21. dontquitnow

    I see the first indications of Polonium 210 poisoning. Just sayin.

    (Get well soon, the prosecution can’t answer it’s own questions)

  22. sanantonerose

    [re=182911]rambone[/re]: I dunno. Getting assfucked by Dick Cheney while you’re collapsed at a Federalist Society meeting is probably not an improvement.

  23. Fly-over Correspondent

    [re=182905]sanantonerose[/re]: Reminds me of something my momma used to say: “Is that what you want to be doing when Jesus comes back?”

  24. Purple Tide

    Mukasey is a living (albeit ailing) embodiment of the Bush Administration’s current condition. Can they all collectively throw in the towel a little early? It’s gonna take the first four years just scrubbing the stink out of the Oval Office, right Presidente Chavez?

    I don’t wish PHYSICAL ill on any one. Get well, little Mikey, well enough to receive a subpoena.

  25. CuntryFirst

    I can’t believe you people are making fun of this serious condition.

    BTW, so if he dies, will he be put in a Mukasket?

  26. Simony

    Catecholamine blockade stimulants are frequently prescribed (if not at JFK levels.)..even at 67.

    If he has a rapid recovery, consider a no-go-pill seizure before a CVA. (Hope so.)

  27. Upthruster

    “CBS News reported that the attorney general began slurring his words about 15 or 20 minutes into a speech touching on Bush administration successes in the war on terrorism.”

    Don’t sound good, but even Bush would slurr a few on that topic…just to save face.

  28. Neilist

    This just in: Emergency medical personnel report that Mukasey’s last remaining shred of integrity lept out of his chest and started to strangle him.

    The traumatic event occurred immediately after a member of the Federalist audience asked the stricken Attorney General about the constitutionality of “blanket preemptive Presidential pardons” . . . .

  29. Anita Cocktail

    I don’t blame him. I’d fake a fainting spell to avoid mingling with the Federalist Society any day.

  30. null

    As when a law is broken, but no crime is committed, so did the swift-footed Achaeans… Oh, wait. Are we sure this isn’t some kind of “Dave” maneuver?

Comments are closed.