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PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT

Free glasses! They're on him!TOM DASCHLE TO BE OBAMA’S EMPEROR OF MEDICAL THINGS: Fancy Washington Insiders (e.g. CNN) say that Tom Daschle, the former Senate Majority Leader and Obama campaign co-chair who recently made headlines with his sexy Sally Jesse Raphael glasses, will be Barack Obama’s Secretary of Health and Human Services. Free enemas for all! [CNN]


12:41 PM on Wed November 19 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1552 Views

  1. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:44 pm, November 19th, 2008

    The Hipster revolution is making me sick. SICK.
    Tom Daschle: Emperor of Hipsters.

  2. Is this change we can believe in?

    Someone tell me pleez.

  3. Deepthroat says at 12:48 pm, November 19th, 2008

    Most significantly, Daschle negotiated that he will also serve as the White House health “czar” — or point person — so that he will report directly to the incoming President. The significance is this guarantees that by wearing two hats Daschle, and not White House staffers, will be writing the health care plan that Obama submits to Congress next year.

    I heard he is actually commissioning an official reversable Czar hat, festooned with various obscene hand gestures, from the finest DC haberdashery. One side says, “I totally rule” and the other says, “I still totally rule.”

  4. shortsshortsshorts says at 12:51 pm, November 19th, 2008

    cal: Seriously he has no human services background, at all. Ron Paul would have obviously been the better alternative.

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 12:52 pm, November 19th, 2008

    More headaches for the wingnuts!

    A black AG!
    Hilzbot (maybe) for SecState
    The return of Tom Daschle!

    All Barry needs now is to hire Michael Moore as head of the NEA, Al Gore as Global Warming Czar, Tommy Chong as Drug Czar and Mummia (just because) then there will be a collective wingnut aneurysm complete with blood pouring out of the ears.

  6. norbizness says at 12:52 pm, November 19th, 2008

    On Daschle! On Dancer! On Prancer! On Vixen!
    Something something Donna Dixon!

  7. norbizness says at 12:53 pm, November 19th, 2008

    You know, “change” isn’t synonymous with “someone nobody has heard of before,” it’s synonymous with “not run by reactionary dickwads.”

  8. IntergalacticSlut says at 12:54 pm, November 19th, 2008

    Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enema.

  9. Well, OK then.

  10. norbizness: I remember hearing that last bit back when I was like 7 years old. Who the crap is Donna Dixon anyway, some old porn star or something?

  11. BarthexDeRosa says at 12:58 pm, November 19th, 2008

    I would totally go on Tom Daschle’s daytime talk show.

  12. You hear that Howard Dean? That’s Obama putting his hand up to you and yelling “FACE!”. I guess this means health care will be a big priority, but with Kennedy, Clinton, and the other old guy hashing it out over health care, is there really going to be room for Tom Daschle to big ass his way in from HHS?

    http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/

  13. Doglessliberal says at 12:58 pm, November 19th, 2008

    norbizness: right, and like it or not, there is a limited pool of people qualified for these jobs that could be confirmed. We really cannot do “Joe the Secretary of HHS” just for change’s sake.

  14. norbizness says at 1:01 pm, November 19th, 2008

    Godot: That line was from the very first Simpsons episode, where Homer is trying to remember the reindeers’ names to get a job as a department store Santa. I think he also says “Nixon” instead of “Vixen,” and Donna Dixon is Dan Ackroyd’s wife of 25 years. See Spies Like Us!

  15. MathewBrooks says at 1:01 pm, November 19th, 2008

    IntergalacticSlut: you mean i dont have to use the garden hose anymore?

  16. IntergalacticSlut says at 1:05 pm, November 19th, 2008

    MathewBrooks: The 8-year hosing is coming to an er…end

  17. SayItWithWookies says at 1:05 pm, November 19th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: Don’t forget Bill Ayers as secretary of education. And maybe Sam Harris could head up the Office of Faith-Based Initiatives.

  18. gambypants says at 1:07 pm, November 19th, 2008

    WTF. Is Obama’s cabinet only going to be packed with forgotten Democratic Presidential hopeful/losers of the past. WHERE IS PAUL TSONGAS!

    http://www.charlietueats.com

  19. metropolitan says at 1:11 pm, November 19th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts:
    uhm, tom daschle is quite qualified. i mean he did write a whole (excellent) book on health care policy.

    http://www.amazon.com/Critical-What-About-Health-Care-Crisis/dp/0312383010

    ron paul on the other hand is supposed to have been a gynecologist, but seems more a proctologist to me, you know, the whole head in ass thing.

  20. metropolitan says at 1:17 pm, November 19th, 2008

    gambypants:
    paul tsongas is six feet under for the past 10 years or so, but he could be risen from the dead by obama if need be.

  21. Doglessliberal says at 1:19 pm, November 19th, 2008

    metropolitan: pretty shitty proctologist (no pun intended) if he cannot even remove his own head from his own ass, no?

  22. Doglessliberal says at 1:19 pm, November 19th, 2008

    gambypants: McGovern is still around!

  23. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:21 pm, November 19th, 2008

    metropolitan: I was unaware that Tom could write books. There is in fact hope for humanity.

  24. Hooray For Anything says at 1:33 pm, November 19th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: And don’t forget about Dukakis. I’m sure he’d make an excellent Secretary of Defense

  25. Doglessliberal says at 1:36 pm, November 19th, 2008

    Hooray For Anything: Hah!. The fact that he went to my alma mater, a Quaker school, would only add to the appropriateness of that suggestion.

  26. SayItWithWookies: No, Ayers needs to be Secretary of Defense.

  27. gurukalehuru says at 1:54 pm, November 19th, 2008

    So far, not a lot of zingers. The black AG doesn’t impress me. If he brings about a modern day Spanish Inquisition, he’ll start to impress me.

  28. norbizness says at 1:54 pm, November 19th, 2008

    gambypants:

    Movie Executive: I don’t see why Rainier Wolfcastle should be the star. I think we should bring back Dirk Richter. Kids will want to see the original Radioactive Man.

    Producer: I keep telling you, he’s 73 years old and he’s dead.

  29. gjdodger says at 2:23 pm, November 19th, 2008

    If Daschle does for health care what he did for Senate Democrats, before long we’ll all be selling our internal organs.

  30. cal: Daschle is a close friend of Obama’s, and a longtime major supporter (he was one of the earliest members of the “establishment” to endorse Barry). Obama is going to appoint people he trusts to implement his policies. Deal with it.

  31. viviangrrrl says at 3:05 pm, November 19th, 2008

    Can somebody explain to me why I remember my five-year old self hearing “Tom Daschle…” in that creepy pro-Repub guy’s voice? You know, the one that echos in my dreams “Obama…Ayers…Obama…Ayers…” I think I remember it being followed with “eats babies” but I can’t be sure. Stupid fallible memory.

  32. problemwithcaring says at 3:25 pm, November 19th, 2008

    jagorev: Having someone who has some sort of passion in the field of healthcare, entitlement programs and/or social service delivery is the first step in successfully implementing this particular policy, Imjussaying. Hey though, if Barack likes it I love it, right?

    So, does this mean healthcare is on the back burner ’til next term?

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