Wonkette
For veritable days we have been racking our brains, trying to figure out why Hillary Clinton would be interested in a Secretary of State position. It ain’t exactly a stepping stone to the presidency, and in her beloved Senate she can be her own boss and work on all those domestic things she loves so much, like imposing a Canadian-Marxist healthcare regime on America. Well, now we have the answer! What might motivate Hillary Clinton now is the thing that has always motivated the Clintons: money. (And the desire to serve, of course! And cracklins.)
Hillary Clinton still owes approx. eleventy billion dollars to her campaign vendors, including over $5 million to the obese incompetent swamp sow Mark Penn. As a normal politician she would be obligated to repay those campaign debts, someday, through fundraising and other efforts.
However, as a Fancy Diplomat, she would be obliged to avoid filthy partisan entanglements and would not even be allowed to do any fundraising. Problem solved! She could plausibly tell the Federal Election Commission, “Sorry, now that I am a diplomatic servant of America, I am like as unto a pauper,” and Mark Penn would just have to suck it up.
Hillary Clinton is a terrible cheapskate.
State: HRC’s ticket to debt forgiveness? [Politico]
Why doesn’t she just reach into her husband’s pocket and pay the debt off? Seriously, those people are in their sixties, how else should they spend that $100 million? They’ve already got two mansions, and they travel on taxpayers’ dimes. This is just cheap!
Bill is encouraging her take the job just so he can tap another secretary’s ass.
This is just such a bunch of bullshit. I don’t get my Fareed Zakaria dream pick because Hillz! dragged the primaries out for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN! and wiped her ass with Benjamins until Super Tuesday? Sure Barry was probably gonna pick John Kerry otherwise but god DAMMIT I did not want this.
Oh well, at least now that she’ll be gallivanting around the globe, those Bosnian snipers will get another crack at it.
I think the title should should read “…Obama’s Cabinet AND Debtor’s Prison”
Don’t forget Billz will have to give up his lucrative side businesses for at least a few months until she gets fired from being a Secretary. With no visible income other than a diplomat’s salary, times will be tight at the Clinton household.
Thank god Chelsea has that hedge fund job - those are doing really well these days, especially if you shorted Volkswagon.
Then again, they’ll have free access to a diplomatic ‘pouch’. I think there’s some problems in Columbia that need weekly investigation. Let’s come up with some reason to go there like a Columbian ‘Free Trade’ Deal.
rambone: I’m quite certain that marriage saw the end of its sex life sometime in the early nineties. The closest Hillz gets to an orgasm is when she has dreams about Barry.
Two related images I didn’t need:
“Since I didn’t want any pig hair with my cracklins, I began by singeing stray hair over a stove burner.”
“…obese incompetent swamp sow Mark Penn.”
I am now going to fill my sink with bleach and immerse my entire head in it for the rest of the day.
I’m so sick of the Clintons and the CONSTANT FUCKING DRAMA (in Bill’s case, literally) that accompanies literally everything goddam thing they do. If she takes this position, every damn day the papers will have some “Hillary is upset with Obama about A, B, C,” and “Hillary might go back to the Senate” and “Hillary is said to be contemplating a run for NY Gov” and etc. etc. etc. So tiring.
Actually, Secretary of State is a stepping stone to the Presidency and Clinton’s advisors have been quited as saying such.
Ok, I’m a little confused. The Clintons made 110 million dollars last year, right? $110 mil in one year. So, why not like just make another 110 mil again this year? Problem solved.
Also, for the official record, I would like to state that this is neither change nor something I can believe in.
She’s probably waiting until Obama’s vetting team has finished finding out who Bill has been donating his boner to for the last eight years.
Barney Frank has just announced a $700 billion federal bailout for the Clinton Campaign!
Hmm — if she accepts, on the downside we get to hear months (years?) of right-wing windbaggery about how she didn’t pay her debts. On the upside, Mark Penn is out five million dollars. Aaaargh. Can’t decide if it’s worth it.
is barry hiring any other womyn? i hear he’s sexyst, and it looks kinda like that….
Secretary of Pantsuits.
Kev-O-Tron: ah, I think the only thing that gets her off is dreams of power.
Just remember. We are Obama supporters. We never forget. We never forgive.*
* Exceptions for Senators enabling a super majority will be allowed, but we will still call them names behind their backs.
Dave J.: one of the reaosns Hopey is so nice–he is like that first mature guy you date after your angst-filled 20s when every day was a new melodrama. Peace and rationality and no hidden agendas, ahhh.
Anonymous Office Zombie: People don’t buy politicians’ books as much in non-election years.
Whatever gets her out of the Senate. Screwing (figuratively) Mark Penn is a fine bonus.
I can see how Obama might think she’d make a great diplomat. Dear China, please lend us some money — I promise I’ll pay you back. Really, I mean it.
Kev-O-Tron: Hey, don’t judge. For all you know she gets off on watching Bill bang fat chicks.
Seriously, its obvious he loves her (what with the shitting all over his legacy for her and all) and equally obvious she doesn’t care too terribly much about monogamy. Get over it.
The Hilzbot SecStat Version can tell Mark Penn to go fuck himself. She’s got diplomatic immunity.
Sorry Family Guy
Uh-uh-urh! You can’t touch me
…can’t touch me
J-j-j-j-just like the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 2
I’ve got diplomatic immunity, so Mark Penn you can’t sue
I can write graphetti, even J-walk in the street
I can riot loot, and not give a hoot
and touch your brother’s peen
Can’t touch me
…you can’t touch me
Stop! Hilzbot time.
I’m a big shot, there’s no doubt
Light a fire and pee it out
Don’t like it? Kiss my rump.
Just for a minute let’s all do the funk.
Can’t touch me
Yeah, do the Hilzbot Clinton bump,
…can’t touch me
bhosp:
Books? I thought they earned it by speaking engagements and shady deals.
But, still… Bill could put that libido to good use as a ridiculously expensive male prostitute, and Hillz is the pity-me symbol for the old, bitter feministas of America. You tellin’ me that she couldn’t be raking it by exploiting PUMAS around the country for everything that they’re worth? At the very least there’s gotta be a book deal for her at in that market.
bhosp: It’s obvious he loves her? Where do you see that? I see a partnership born of a joint desire for power.
Dave J.: Dude, for real. It’s been non-stop drama and fucking leaks ever since she boarded a plan to Chicago.
Really? You folks were wondering why she would leave the Senate? I thought that was obvious, but I also enjoy huffing glue from hooker’s buttcheeks.
Doglessliberal: Uh, yeah. Feels like Bill sees her failure to win as a stain (HA!) on his legacy as opposed to actually loving her and regretting being such a shitty husband.
shortsshortsshorts: I think this is the first time Hillary Clinton and buttcheek huffing have been mentioned in the same thought. Impressive!
Dave J.: I wouldnt mind the idea of her running for Governor of New York. SHe’d crush Rudy and the mistress/whore/wife/thing on his arm.
If she refuses to be SoS everybody wins:
1. We don’t have to read a million articles about how this makes Obama Lincoln for bringing in the frenemies
2. We don’t have to read a million articles about how Obama sold out for bringing in Hillz
3. Maureen Dowd will never write about Hillary again.
4. The Hillz supporters can’t cry that Obama didn’t choose Hillary; she rejected the offer
5. John Kerry still doesn’t get to be SoS
6. Maybe it’ll go to sad Gore-face-beard Billy Richardson
obfuscator: exactly. HE was personally offended. He saw this as an inevitable coronation of them. Too bad he and she and the campaign were are stuck in 1992-mode.
Doglessliberal: That’s what actual rich people call love. You are confusing it with emotional attachment as practiced by the formerly middle class and poor.
Doglessliberal: It’s good when married couples can share a hobby like that.
I don’t think Bill’s fooling around anymore. Medical problems, plus, he’s an old. I’m sure the spirit is willing, but the flesh, as they say…
Vanity Smurf: you are, of course, correct. Marriage as property transfer and power consolidation has a long history.
bhosp: yeah, silly me. My husband and I have running, and baseball, and a few other things we do merely for enjoyment, not gain, so we are wasting our time. We should have picked world domination, dammit.
If the appointment will drive Tweety (i.e. Chris Matthews) further over the cliff, I’m all for it. The other day he brought on Dan “I’ll test my assasination theory by shooting a watermelon” Burton. Good times!
Bostoprov: Hillz is too big to fail!
Doglessliberal: He was so intent on protecting his legacy that he… irrevocably damaged his legacy. Oh bitter ironies.
Dave J.: Amen. Even the APPOINTMENT process is a big drama. Will she or won’t she? Tune in tomorrow for another episode…. I wish the Clintons would just go away. But noes.
I wish he’d put her on the Supreme Court, if only because the wingnuts are shitting their pants at the mere thought of it.
NoWireHangers: Yes, why not Billy Richardson? He could be the house Latino. Ooops, did I say a bads?
Doglessliberal: Senators are many, yet there is but one SoS and it might be she or whatever. POWER! That’s what drives Clintons. Power in the morning, power all through the night, if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
Powerpowerpowerpower. Penis.
Money can go hang. Although, any arrangement that screws Mark Penn has my personal approval.
ella: well, she really is not qualified. If Harriet Meiers wasn’t, Hillz is not even close. The lawyer part of me would really not like that appointment–the S Ct’s integrity is already eroding thanks to partisan BS on the part of Scalia, et al.
Go away, Hill Billary! We have too much work to be distracted with satisfying your egos.
Doglessliberal: You haven’t read my livejournal entries from back in the day, then.
Doglessliberal: That’s true, but I can dream. After all the fearmongering and lies about Hopey perpetuated by the righties, I’d like nothing more than one big, simultaneous wingnut meltdown. Obviously, I don’t have the forgiveness part of politics down.
norbizness: oh my.
I guess Mark Penn is just going to have to make it up by charging some other dupe for his cripplingly bad advice.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
It’s the perfect setup: Penn gets stiffed, Hillary gets to be a Bigger Wheel (and would probably do a fine job), and Maureen Dowd has new material. For Bill it’s cake: when the Secretary’s away, the capybara will play, and CNN will be tracking her every move for him. Value added: we get to watch President Obama ordering Hill around, as in “I’ll show you 3 a.m. phone calls.” Sorta like the end of the last Harry Potter book, where everything turns out so… nice.
I’ve been betting with my friend that there’s no way Hillary would take the Secretary of State job — it’s a stepping stone to nowhere. She’s just milking this publicity to rehabilitate her image and add this to the narrative she wants to create, that just like she promised in her “2 a.m. world crisis” campaign spots, obama needs her wisdom and leadership. pffffft. no way she’s taking this.
hungry? http://www.charlietueats.com
I’ve been betting with my friend that there’s no way Hillary would take the Secretary of State job — it’s a stepping stone to nowhere. She’s just milking this publicity to rehabilitate her image and add this to the narrative she wants to create, that just like she promised in her “2 a.m. world crisis” campaign spots, obama needs her wisdom and leadership. pffffft. no way she’s taking this.
hungry? http://www.charlietueats.com
Anonymous Office Zombie: “You tellin’ me that she couldn’t be raking it by exploiting PUMAS around the country for everything that they’re worth?”
37 dollars is a pitiful reward for the sheer amount of time one would have to deal with the PUMAs.
I am not so sure about the State job, but I almost like
M.T. idea about governor of NY, tho’ I wouldn’t wish that
newly allegedly dem anti-choice bunch of windbags on
(almost) anyone. and I say so as a native NYer.
Dave J.: Or: Clinton Warned Obama: Ignoring Wife’s Advice on Afghanistan “Wrong-Headed” - You know, if they can’t have their way, he does some anonymously sourced Vanity Fair/Daily Beast/Huffington article to start positioning them for 2012. That would suck.
The real Maureen Dowd nailed it on Sunday:
It’s not a promotion, it’s an exit strategy.
Doglessliberal: …And who doesn’t love power?
Godot: YEAH! Another fan of Fareed Zakaria!
I can’t help but think this is all some complicated political play to get more power in the Senate than her seniority would typically allow. Maybe in a few days we will all be over this mess and can get down to the “real” picks.
DraftFareed.org - Join the movement, push for a qualified Sec of State!
Make Bill ambassador to one of the sex tourism countries like Dominican Rep., Phillipines, Thailand, etc.
Zhu Bajie
Obama will be a one-term president.
The Clintons played the race card
on his ass harder than any old southern
cracker — even southern crackers are
smarter than to just come out and say
“I have the hard working WHITE people”.
Too bad this dude’s MOM wasn’t black —
she would have schooled him to say
“FUCK YOU” to assholes like the Clintons,
and MEAN IT.
If Super Bitch were the president-elect,
you can bet HIS mocha ass wouldn’t be
coming ANY WHERE NEAR the White House.
This guy has NO instinct for the jugular —
which EVERY SUCCESSFUL PRESIDENT has
always had. He’ll be TOAST in 2012.
Pootin’, ImaNutJob, OSamaBeenJerkin’
are going to bitch slap this little
sloganeering creep back to Chigago.
By 2011, EVERYBODY will have played this
little fake ass poseur.
“No you can’t” — you little fake ass
bitch.
Great Move Hillary! If she can keep her political rating, in the public view this position will serve all! She will be able buy time to figure out how to pay off or reduce her debt, serve her own needs to run an office, Help her country, and her family. No one can say she did not stand by her man, care deeply about her county and raise her daughter. The economy will eventually find its feet again and with that said, I would give her the same message as I have given many individuals and companies dealing with local economic recessions that is “Think Global” One good selling product would have severally lessen the financial hole you dig.
I beg to differ - becoming Secretary of State was considered a stepping stone to the White House well into the 1830’s, that is, before the 30 year mortgage was paid off.
Of course, that stream of history petered out and died with the ascent of President Buchanan, who coincidentally lived happily in a perfectly respectable gay housekeeping arrangement (marriage) for years before his stint in the White House.