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FRIDAYS WITH PEGGY

PEGGY NOONAN WRITES HUMDRUM COLUMN THIS SEVEN-DAY!: Can you even believe it? She just has a bunch of modestly valid points jumping all over the place, but nothing about seeing a Mexican or viewing a “rabbity forest creature darting among the hedgerows” on her television machine. Has our Miss Noonington been reading Wonkette’s weekly scholarly criticism of “Declarations” and decided to tone down the neo-Victorianisms? ‘Twoud be a shame! FREE PEGGY NOONAN! [WSJ]


6:10 PM on Fri November 14 2008
By Jim Newell
2917 Views

  1. JimNewell says at 6:16 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Well that was 17 posts. Enough. BYE FRIENDS.

  2. OffTheRecord says at 6:19 pm, November 14th, 2008

    You made us wait all day for Peggy Noonington. You tease.

    But besides that good job, dare I say you’ve earned that new puppy.

  3. Jim Newell: No!! My OCD requires multiples of 10!

    Nate Silver would never leave us in the lurch like this.

  4. Neon Trotsky says at 6:20 pm, November 14th, 2008

    She tries way too hard to be “hip” and “with it” in that column. For example:

    [Obama]’s one cool cat, perhaps even one chilly customer.

    His small joke at Nancy Reagan’s expense the other day was the sort of joke they make in the leftosphere. The rightosphere has its jokes too. But America doesn’t live in the leftosphere or the rightosphere.

    My advice to you Noony: stick with the obsolete Victorian era terminology, and just because “blogosphere” became a legit term doesn’t mean you can attach the suffix “-sphere” to anything and everything. Kthxbai!

  5. These weekly Noonanstallments make for a perfectly piss-poor drinking game, alas.

  6. DoctorCulturae says at 6:21 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Yes Jim, but what about this gem? She can’t help but let it eek out!

    “Everyone asks whither the Republicans, what should they do first? They should recognize reality, absorb it and think about its meaning.”

    Forthwith, whatsoever doest thou praytell thinkest beforest thine being ist to appear upon thy own visage? Spongest thyself O fellow diviners of lonely rectitude! Spongest thyself!

  7. charlesdegoal says at 6:21 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Don’t be delusional. She’s just added a football metaphor. George Allen 2012.

  8. Lazy Media says at 6:28 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Newell, you shiftless layabout. Don’t you know that 72-hour weeks will become the new standard in the post-oil, post-prosperity New Victorian Age?

    Executive summary of Peggington’s columnary: Barack Obama is Calvin Johnson (fingers crossed!).

  9. SayItWithWookies says at 6:29 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Clinton was always “trying to rein in his emotions and tamp down purple rage.?” The House of Windsor (sic — it’s actually Windsor-Mountbatten, which you’d think an elitist like Peggy would know) is myseterious?! I was reeling from those two — and then the last sentence gave her the decisive head-thump trifecta. As grounded in reality as she is, I’m surprised she hasn’t divorced her Second-Life husband by now.

  10. Let Peggy be Peggy! Go Peggy, go!

  11. Lazy Media says at 6:32 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Jeezus fuckin’ Christ. I just read the whole thing. And this:

    there will be epiphanies on the Amtrak Acela while delayed at Wilmington

    No. No, Peggy, there won’t.

  12. SayItWithWookies says at 6:32 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Jim Newell: Well that was fun, have a (door slams) — uh, seeya Monday.

    rambone: How star-crossed for you. Jim only posts in prime numbers.

  13. Kev-O-Tron says at 6:33 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Jim Newell: Fare thee well Sir Newellington. Fare the well. And tanks fur all da funnies.

  14. Lazy Media says at 6:34 pm, November 14th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: So Peggington watched The Queen and concluded that Tony Blair was wrong, and that Elizabeth II was right in acting like an emotion-free biyotch?

  15. Neon Trotsky says at 6:37 pm, November 14th, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: Before being renamed the “House of Windsor” in 1917 it was the “House of Saxe-Coberg-Gotha.” But having a nice English-sounding name for their monarchs’ house became a bit more important after the UK entered WWI against those darn Krauts…

  16. Good Lord, Her Pegginess was practically 1930s in some of her paragraphs there. What’s gotten into her? Has she been smoking a jazz cigarette, with her references to footballing and suchlike sundries? Where did this loose construction come from? “It is a question what exact impact the conservative infrastructure, and the great number of conservative thinkers and intellectuals, will have on a GOP comeback.”

    Jim Newell: Good job today. It’s almost like you worked, or something. (Seriously, nice one.)

  17. OffTheRecord: I don’t want puppies, just Princess Amygdala and Rashida Jones frolicking in bed.

  18. The Frogurt Is Also Cursed says at 6:45 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Let Peggy be Peggy!

  19. Fivetree says at 6:45 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Ah, what bliss it is to wander in the the prose field of Nooningham on a Friday’s dusk, whilst the rest of the teeming world clatters in all its modernity - the “leftosphere” and the “rightosphere” forever at sixes and sevens. But hark, what is this higglety-pigglety compendium of sports metaphoria that segue into allusions to the House of Windsor (Mountbatten by way of Saxe-Coburg-Gotha if one must really know the truth)and then alights onto a discourse of the emotional propensities of our recent liege lords - Bush II and Clinton? It can make one quite cross to have the tea steeped and biscuits all prepared and the cucumber sandwiches ready to go - all in preparation for our weekly Pearls from Peggy - only to be jolted into such…..colonial concerns. Whither the Republicans? One might ask, with more alacrity - Whither Peggy?

  20. SayItWithWookies says at 6:49 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Lazy Media: Personally I don’t think Elizabeth Regina had any choice but to act like a one-dimensional, overly formal figurehead. But when I think “mysterious” I come up with possibly devious, subtle, thoughtful, unknowable — there’s nothing mysterious about looking in someone’s eyes and seeing straight through to the back of their head.

    Neon Trotsky: Yeah it wouldn’t have helped to make too big a deal of King Edward and Kaiser Wilhelm being cousins, would it? At least they all spoke the language by the time the war started.

  21. Lascauxcaveman says at 6:57 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Jim Newell: Yeah, good job today, Jimmy. Ken’s boss should give you a raise. That is, more money for the continuing good work and all.

  22. I *heart* that Wonkette has a wide-on for the Pegster.

  23. Peggy, how is the new ultra conservative editorial leadership of WSJ treatin’ you? Are they makin’ you do things you think are dirty?

  24. A week without the Pegeen is like a day without sunshine, or burning needles plunged into my eye globes.

  25. Scandalabra says at 7:15 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Does this mean we’ll get at least 50 posts a day when the others return? Huh?

  26. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:29 pm, November 14th, 2008

    …I didn’t bother to read this article, because I intend on being able to achieve an erection later on tonight! But let me give a blanket statement of: “Peggy Noonan makes my prostate hurt!”

  27. imissopus says at 7:34 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Must I wait another seven days to bathe in tbe warm prose of my eternal Noon-beam? Ah, time, thou art a foul and loathsome beast! Noon-beam, I shall clutch thee to mine breast anon!

  28. Jim Newell: Gosh darm proud of yourself, mister smartypants, hipster college boy? dontcha know. Westbrook Pegler, the Tings-Tings or Cardinal Sheen would have had 40 posts by now. Yeah.

  29. AngryBlakGuy says at 7:57 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Jim Newell: …if you lived in Miami, I would treat you to a date with the 12 dollar transsexual prostitute of your choice my friend!

  30. rocktonsammy says at 7:57 pm, November 14th, 2008

    She uses her tongue prettier than a 20 dollar whore.

  31. rocktonsammy says at 8:01 pm, November 14th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy:

    I coming to MIAMI, what kind of transsexual prostitute can I get for 12 bucks.

    Are the republican gov’s still in town?

    Might be a line…

  32. hamletta says at 8:14 pm, November 14th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: That’s funny. I would think La Noonington’s aubergine prose and whimsical turns of phrase would function much like baseball statistics.

    Guess I really am a girl!

  33. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:20 pm, November 14th, 2008

    rocktonsammy: …the kind with a hairy chest and 12 o’clock shadow!

  34. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:24 pm, November 14th, 2008

    hamletta: …nah, its more like imagining your grand parents 69′ing! Enjoy the mental image, I hope you have a brilo pad to scrub your eyes nearby!

  35. Weeping Jesus says at 8:27 pm, November 14th, 2008

    I’d be happier for Jim if I didn’t know that all the ‘editors’ surreptitiously lurk in the background and take turns posting as ‘trolls’ while drunk to keep the weekend traffic up on the site.

  36. FindFuckandFlee says at 8:33 pm, November 14th, 2008

    “He’s one cool cat, perhaps even one chilly customer.”

    I just re-read that line a few dozen times.. anyone know what the rest of the column was about?

  37. Lazy Media: Your writing is too structured, rigid, too terse. Compared to Our Lady of the Many Tears, you sound like friggin’ Ernest Hemmingway. Give it up. You’ll never be another Pegster. Bella donna’s job is secure, particularly since her major readership lies in the Axis of Fun.

    AngryBlakGuy: “Peggy Noonan makes my prostate cry.”

  38. Ah, Lady Noonington, such a wry observatrix of human pecacdilloisms…

  39. facehead says at 8:41 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Jim Newell: I’m sure you’ve taken off in your Delorean to play night golf in the desert, as is your wont, drinking crystal pepsi champagne and snorting mormon anthrax off the rumps of the finest whores available, and you deserve it.

  40. FindFuckandFlee: 77 Sunset Strip - Kookie

  41. G. Friday says at 8:52 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Lazy Media: Black Candy, yeah, yeah, yeah.

  42. Constitutional Riots says at 8:56 pm, November 14th, 2008

    wheelie: Those nooney sentences harkeneth back to the musings of Our Whack Job of the Tundra, Queen-in-waiting-Sarah. I will be happier about the avalanche/landslide of victory that crowned our Barack, President Elect, when there is NO news from, about, related to Sarah Apalling. At least Hilary bumped her off the MSM today, as far as I know, also.

  43. Constitutional Riots:
    No more Bible Spice? But what shall we ever, ever do for fun? All that we would be left with is S.C. Senator Sexbee Shambles, Don Young, Tennessee Senator Bitch McConnell, Texas Senator John Cornhole, Michele Tres Belle “My Crazy Eyes Are Watching You” Bachmann, Rudy, Joe “Dagger In The Back” Lieberperson, Mittney, Bobby “Drive out all Satan’s demons” Jindal, ….
    Nev-ver mind. I get your point.

  44. Pop Socket says at 9:58 pm, November 14th, 2008

    Peggy The Cougar is about to take all her Hot Young Republicans to a secret underground bunker for four years. She’s going to be disappointed to learn they were all former pages of Mark Foley.

  45. Alex Trebeks Girl says at 10:10 pm, November 14th, 2008
  46. “FREE PEGGY NOONAN!”
    No. Sometimes the beter option is to pay.

  47. “FREE PEGGY NOONAN!”
    And in exchange?

  48. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:02 pm, November 14th, 2008

    I see what yer doin’ over der. You betcha.

    This is best time to say the most profane things you can think of. It’s 11 p.m. on the East Coast, and Overlord Jim has disappeared…
    Type your worst.

  49. shortsshortsshorts: After an extensive relationship, Jim Newell once proposed to a floor sander.

  50. Hillary wants a place on the supreme court and why not?haha. okay. Sorry.bye.I hate peggy Noonan no really bye,I’m eating icecream now.

  51. shortsshortsshorts: Shorr-orrrts, come out to play-yay…

  52. 102415: Not happening.
    “I grow old, I grow old.
    I shall wear the bottom of my pantsuits rolled.”
    Wrote a musical version of “The Wasteland”. Never got out of summer stock. The police arrived. Why does America hate art?

  53. Noonan be Peggin!

  54. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 1:36 am, November 15th, 2008

    shortsshortsshorts:
    Or could it bet that he’s lulling us into a false sense of security only to launch the secret, stealth ban hammer when we least expect it? Only one way to find out…

    *ahem*

    Fuck tha Po-lice! Fuck tha Po-lice! Fuck tha Pol-ice! Jim Newell commands you to riot in the streets! Jim Newell’s hatred of your Freedoms is only rivaled by his undying love for NASCAR.

  55. glamourdammerung says at 1:56 am, November 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo: “Gimp” McConnell is Kentucky’s fault, not Tennessee’s. By the way Mitch, thank FDR you can walk.

  56. hobospacejungle says at 1:57 am, November 15th, 2008

    Please please please won’t someone just give poor ol’ peg what’s she’s obviously begging for. Just be sure to sweep away the cobwebs; and you’ll probably need one of those chest-crackers they use for heart surgery to ply her open. Then maybe, just maybe, she’ll stop writing like a constipated Victorian spinster.

    I do not volunteer.

  57. facehead says at 2:06 am, November 15th, 2008

    For those of us still fighting the power, I have come up with the most important (and most humiliating) cause for those over at rebuildtheparty.com (i.e. Ron Paul’s dish towel).

    Please add your VOTES, make this the NUMBER ONE party issue:

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/71306

    As you will see, there is little chance they will delete my topic.

    I am facehead and I approve this subterfuge.

  58. Lazy Media says at 2:45 am, November 15th, 2008

    hobospacejungle: I’d hit it.

    glamourdammerung: And Chambliss, aka the Silver Frat Boy, is from Georgia. Where we still have a chance to vote him out in a runoff. Oh, absentee ballot, fly to me on swift-beating wings!

  59. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 4:25 am, November 15th, 2008

    Anybody see this, yet?

    http://libertarian-left.blogspot.com/2008/11/on-power-of-trolls-response-to-kotecki.html

    It appears that the most popular idea on the site was actually member Hotlaska’s “Truck Nutz for all!” The idea, which has since been marked as “inappropriate” and therefore no longer appears on the main site, simply advocates that the Republican Party chairman should “Give all Red Blooded Americans a pair of Truck Nuts for their F150’s!”

    At least somebody noticed all our hard work.

  60. glamourdammerung: — “Gimp” McConnell is Kentucky’s fault, not Tennessee’s. — The diff?
    McConnell wouldn’t thank his mother for suckling him at her teat if she turned out to be a Democrat.

  61. She ran out of booze, obviously. Let us make a Wonkette Noonan Booze Kitteh for donations to her libations.

    Oh, hell with it. I need all the money I have for booze for me. Send her a case of Fosters or something.

  62. Anonymous Office Zombie: This backhand is the little thanks that you get for associating with intellectuals. Never allow them again to knock on our door. We give, we give, and we give. And what do we receive in return? Insult. It’s almost as if we were Mormons.

  63. MrsNateSilver says at 8:26 am, November 15th, 2008

    DoctorCulturae: can’t. breathe. laugh. too. much.

    Goddamn that was good.

  64. gradgrind says at 9:00 am, November 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo: Fyi and alas, teevee huckster and Bishop Fulton J. Sheen never made Cardinal. Sister Mary Pegitha will set you straight on that bit o’ history if she ever checks your homework here on the love/hate posts.

  65. gurukalehuru says at 10:12 am, November 15th, 2008

    Neon Trotsky: -osphere is the new -gate.

  66. Latest suggestion for Rebuilding the Party

    Promote solutions to make penises larger.

    As a nation we have lost our manhood. Truck Nutz are one possible solution but when getting to the full length and girth of the problem, it turns out that we need not only more but larger members. I propose extending a package providing the proper tools to government organs to distribute, at no cost, penis enlargment pills to the male members of our party. Plus Ann Coulter.

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72344

  67. MathewBrooks says at 12:21 pm, November 15th, 2008

    ICDogg: THIS is the kind of cutting edge thinking our country is starving for.

  68. Weeping Jesus says at 12:59 pm, November 15th, 2008

    ICDogg: Jill Biden has helped me erect my infrastructure.

  69. meowomon says at 1:06 pm, November 15th, 2008

    How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Peggy after all she has been through.!

    She lost her aunt, she went through a divorce. She had two fuckin kids.

    Her husband turned out to be a user, a cheater, and now she’s going through a custody battle. All you people care about is….. readers and making money off of her.

    SHE’S A HUMAN! What you don’t realize is that Peggy is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her.

    LEAVE HER ALONE! You are lucky she even writes for you BASTARDS!
    LEAVE PEGGY ALONE!…..Please.

    Perez Hilton talked about professionalism and said if Peggy was a professional she would’ve pulled it off no matter what.

    Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time?

    Leave Peggy Alone Please…. !
    Leave Peggy Noonan alone!…right now!….I mean it.!

    Anyone that has a problem with her you deal with me, because she is not well right now.

    LEAVE HER ALONE!

  70. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 2:27 pm, November 15th, 2008

    S.Luggo:
    They have spurned us as if we were common trollops. The fools! Do they not comprehend that TRUCKNUTZ are the ultimate symbol of the GOP? What could be more appealing to the Republican mind? What representation better applies to all their constituent factions?

    TRUCKNUTZ are crude humor mixed with “political incorrectness.” TRUCKNUTZ scream hyper-masculinity while being at the same time a tad homoerotic in a way that eludes their owner. A pair of TRUCKNUTZ hanging from your truck say toughness, virility, illiteracy, assholishness. TRUCKNUTZ say, “I don’t give a shit about science, and if you don’t get off my property I’m gonna shoot you dead for Jesus.”

    You see, TRUCKNUTZ are not only the unifying representation of the GOP, they are the GOP. Forget about free TRUCKNUTZ for all, we should have petitioned them to get rid of the elephant and make a pair of TRUCKNUTZ the new official symbol of the Republican party.

  71. FindFuckandFlee: Obama is pretty hep, all right.

  72. meowomon: Your defense of Peggington Noonington has touched my heart. I will stop peeing on her column, forthwith and anon.

  73. Weeping Jesus says at 3:39 pm, November 15th, 2008

    Anonymous Office Zombie: If you could mix in an inapposite and tortured football metaphor, an extrapolation of the significance of Princess Diana’s paparazzi death, and something from Watership Down, you could write for the WSJ.

    Alas, so close…in a Noonish way….

  74. HuskyMescan says at 3:44 pm, November 15th, 2008

    ICDogg: I’m countering your idea:

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72442

    “As we know, most Republican men are closet homosexuals. And good anal sex means a clear Republican mind. But let’s face it, all that buttseks causes anal leakage. We should embrace and support the butt plug industry through lobbying and tax cuts.”

    Lets see how long that one stays up.

  75. SayItWithWookies says at 4:25 pm, November 15th, 2008

    Hey, is Wonkette’s intrepid videographer moonlighting at HuffPo?
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/11/15/rahm-emanuel-roasts-steph_n_144081.html

    (oh, and there’s video of Rahm Emanuel roasting Stephen Colbert, too).

  76. slackdaemon says at 4:26 pm, November 15th, 2008

    meowomon: Your concern for the exalted one is touching…
    btw, my cat can kick your cats ass

  77. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 4:51 pm, November 15th, 2008

    facehead: I like where you’re going with this.

    But let’s look at one of their “actual” ideers:

    Reach out to Blacks, Latinos, Gays, and the Youth

    The party needs to become more inclusive and actively reach out to these communities.

    You know them there republicans don’t believe any of that nonsense.

    How about: Kick out the Blacks, Latinos, Gays, and the Youth?

    It’s right up their alley.
    ~

  78. facehead says at 4:53 pm, November 15th, 2008

    meowomon: You are a big meanie!

    You’re attempt to parody http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eOSDRNOLp4 has backfired, because I am now compelled to ask the question: why exactly is Wonkette so down on Pegginton Nooningtonhampshireville?

    I read that she once said something favorable about Rick “must stop gays from marrying hamsters” Santorum. Her work often lacks substance, she seems to merely dress up common cliches with fancy language (like putting a hot dog on a doily). She pretends to be hip by citing Wonkette (which she doesn’t read). But … well … Ok, I take it all back, she is worthy of mockery.

    CURSES!!! FOILED AGAIN!!!!

  79. facehead says at 5:46 pm, November 15th, 2008

    Anonymous Office Zombie: Nice!

    ICDogg: Nice suggestion.

    Kinbote: Nice reference.

    skippy: Nice avatar.

    facehead: Nice spelling.

  80. facehead says at 6:15 pm, November 15th, 2008

    If you want to rebuild the party in my pants,

    come in http://wonkette.chatango.com/ for some softcore political chat.

    Who knows, you might even get a chance talk to the elusive and smokey shortsshortsshorts, or get to know grendel and his famous “three backed beast” , or maybe even gopherit, the magically married man of mystery.

    We don’t discriminate against small orifices.

  81. Anonymous Office Zombie: Dammit, Z. I wept when I read that.

    You’ve duplicated . . . nay . . . you’ve topped the Prophesies of Nostradomus.

    But yours will likely be a Voice Crying In The TruckNutz Wilderness.

  82. hrhkingfriday says at 6:27 pm, November 15th, 2008

    facehead: or, http://wonktards.nfshost.com/

    if you want the split screen.

  83. Who,Moi? says at 6:35 pm, November 15th, 2008

    oh god. within the first few paragraphs there was a gratuitous, “too” and then an “also”.

    Sarah Caribouspeak is infecting public discourse…

    barf?

  84. facehead says at 6:48 pm, November 15th, 2008

    Anonymous Office Zombie: Due to an anonymous tipster, said blog has learned the truth of our righteous crusade and origins, and Wonkette has been duly noted in the annals of bloggerdom.

    Check it: http://libertarian-left.blogspot.com/2008/11/on-power-of-trolls-response-to-kotecki.html

  85. hrhkingfriday says at 7:00 pm, November 15th, 2008
  86. stirredNOTshaken says at 7:07 pm, November 15th, 2008

    meowomon: i’ll be damned if i didn’t just pee a little

  87. HuskyMescan says at 7:44 pm, November 15th, 2008

    Inspired by the McCain campaign and Palin KKK rallies:

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1xQeOPE9ePU/SR9iQADQ0SI/AAAAAAAAC6Y/XSu1rSxKs40/s1600-h/afaburning-cross.jpg

    Nothing says xmas like a burning cross in your yard!!!

  88. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 11:32 pm, November 15th, 2008

    Weeping Jesus: facehead: Neilist:
    Thank you, thank you.

    You’d better watch your back, Noonan. The buzzards are circling, and I don’t think I’d mind being paid ungodly amounts of cash in exchange for a weekly dose of hyperbole and hysterics.

  89. This column was obviously NOT written by Queen Peggy. Proof? No Reagan references!!

  90. Anonymous Office Zombie: UPDATE:

    Some funny woman with a funny name over at Indecision 2008 has documented our interwebbing exploits: http://blog.indecision2008.com/2008/11/12/the-gop-is-open-to-suggestions/

  91. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 2:52 am, November 16th, 2008

    facehead:
    Fear the power of the TRUCKNUTZ Terrorist Insurgency, O ye internets!

    Seems likeI’m not the only one who noticed the homoerotic undertones. Posted in the comments section:

    “While we are on the subject of Truck Nutz, because it doesn’t come up very often in my daily life… Can someone, for the love of God, please explain to me why Truck Nutz convey the message of ‘Manliness.’

    Understand that I’m pro-gay. I’m pro-gay rights. I’m pro-gay marriage. I’m pro-gay culture. I’m pro-gay everything. And in my mind, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything on a vehicle that more clearly seemed to scream, ‘I am gay and proud!’ than a pair of Truck Nutz.”

  92. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:05 am, November 16th, 2008

    As stateth in aforementioned and previous discussions, Peegy Noonath hath attempted rotating between what the commons refer to as “baseball batting positions.” However, what these lowly pion’s lack the intellectual ferocity in endeavoring uponeth understanding is foremost, that Peggy Noonan is a fucking liar.

    And a meechy media hoe.

    And a hypocrite, but especially a liarith.

  93. worrierqueen says at 5:26 am, November 16th, 2008

    “Young Republicans…You don’t have to defend stupid decisions anymore.”

    What a damning indictment of Peggy’s moral compass out of her own mouth.

  94. I can’t wait ’til Peggy Noonan wins the next Pulitzer for commentary and Ken and Jim (and all right-thinking people) explode.

    Noonan winning the Pulitzer is about as appropriate as George Bush winning Super Bowl MVP, but it’s going to happen.

  95. CivicHoliday says at 12:00 pm, November 16th, 2008

    facehead: if we get a shout out on Daily Show this week for that, my life will be complete.

  96. Anonymous Office Zombie: The pro-gay comment is one of the best ones there. And even better, it won’t mysteriously disappear by a heavy handed GOP editor afraid of TruckNutz, Gayz, Anti-religous right, etc.

    Well, they are probably afraid their sacred secret will be revealed if they are pro-Nutz. As we all know genitalia are evil, put on us by satan. We should all be ashamed of our bodies and impure thoughts

  97. facehead: I think they’re the anals of bloggerdom. BTW, is all this shit still going in the Library of Congress?

  98. DoctorCulturae says at 3:17 pm, November 16th, 2008

    Dear, dear Peggy: ‘Read my lips.’ You and your kind brought us ‘a hundred points of blight.’

    The rich got richer. The middle got lesser. The poor got squat. ‘Mourning in America’ indeed.

  99. DoctorCulturae says at 5:14 pm, November 16th, 2008

    DoctorCulturae: Pardon my mistake: “a thousand points of blight.” Perhaps it’s in the millions by now.

  100. lol, Rebuild The Party has scrubbed their site again…

  101. facehead says at 5:27 pm, November 16th, 2008

    ICDogg: Mine survived the purge. Please support it with your votes:

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/71306

  102. http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72840

    I figured I would steal every Jeff Foxworthy redneck joke ever and make a really long suggestion out of it.

  103. Weeping Jesus says at 5:47 pm, November 16th, 2008

    ICDogg: That’s got to be a lifetime achievement right there. I’m impressed, and yet I’m also saddened. I abandoned any thought of reading it when I scrolled down and scrolled down to see how many entries there were below yours, and found only yours …. and there seemed to be 100 screens of that shit…. you might be a Republican…

  104. facehead: excellent. I wish you would have mentioned this contribution to rebuild the party now earlier. I missed an entire weekend of screwing with them

  105. ICDogg:

    ok, my often banned anti-satanic music one is now back too. I really don’t get why they would be against banning satanic music - isn’t that a fundamental Republican value?

    At least Elizabeth Dole hatred of Rap music made me realize she was a wackjob back in the day and prompted my first $100 donation to the ACLU

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72880

  106. Question: why does AOL Political Machine (spinning 24/7 to sort the cranks!) still employ ‘Dave’?

    Can they not get a better Republican pundit than a dude who wants to put together a Palin/Jindal ticket? Also, someone who is not ashamed to let his full name be published?

  107. facehead says at 7:53 pm, November 16th, 2008

    ICDogg, CivicHoliday, shortsshortsshorts, Anonymous Office Zombie, Borat:

    I think you will all agree, the real trick here is to come up with a suggestion which involves mockery, but not open mockery (otherwise it will just get deleted). My previous idea here seemed to do this job ok, as it did not get banned, though perhaps was not so mocking.

    But now, I have come up with a suggestion so wonderful, I cannot hide my pride. The following, from “RepublicansForUnix” is from me. The puncline is the link (within the suggestion — which is NOT safe for work BTW) but be sure to read the whole thing.

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72887

    Please vote!!! With any luck it will take them weeks to figure out this is a gag.

  108. itgetter says at 7:54 pm, November 16th, 2008

    Who else is watching our Unicorn on 60 Minutes? Michelle is coming up!

  109. InsidiousTuna says at 8:04 pm, November 16th, 2008

    facehead: VERY well done.

  110. d’oh

    Link to redtube doesn’t work for me. I think it might have to do with my ridiculous XP64 OS.

  111. facehead: Wow. That video says it all. Vote now and vote often.

  112. Deepthroat says at 8:57 pm, November 16th, 2008

    OMG, YES is on Huckabee playing “Owner of a Lonely Heart”… the old people in the audience look confused and slightly offended…

  113. Deepthroat says at 9:02 pm, November 16th, 2008

    facehead: Ewww. That is sooo 90s Russian porn.

  114. facehead: You are disgraceful. Well done.

  115. druranium says at 10:09 pm, November 16th, 2008

    The rebuild the party site still doesn’t require confirmed registrations? Damn, they really love a good long drawn-out trouncing, don’t they? Here here, a daily show / colbert hat tip is in order!
    facehead: I think your ideas will go far. I voted for it. Is it just me or does it seem like some of the commenters on your suggestion don’t get the ruse? Maybe its just really really thick snark

  116. HuskyMescan says at 10:53 pm, November 16th, 2008

    Here’s a new one the RNC chairman can eat.

    http://ideas.rebuildtheparty.com/pages/general/suggestions/72947

    “Embrace Racism and Ignorance, F’it, It’s who we are”

  117. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:48 am, November 17th, 2008

    druranium: The first step to rebuilding the party is to reinstate Bozo on Sundays on Chicago’s WGN, create a positive post-consequential “global warming” economic alternative. THEN systematically destroy all things liberal through sexual Republican type force— and if that doesn’t work, release the hounds.

    Walnuts ‘08. It’s not over ’till all the ballets are counted.

  118. gurukalehuru says at 2:29 am, November 17th, 2008

    facehead: You did warn us that it was NSFW, but here in the Czech Repuublic, today is a holiday (anniversary of the Velvet Revolution)so I am sitting at home, in an atmosphere very much like a lazy Sunday morning, and opened that with my five year old son Sam looking over my shoulder.
    My bad. Oh, well, I guess he has to learn about these things some time.

    Anyway, I gave you 3 votes.

  119. Facehead - more than happy to vote. Fabulous work, you crazy person. Bravo!

    On a tangential note, I’ve been thinking of a revised G20 summit menu. It vexes me:
    http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/11/g20-world-economy-summit-menu-not.html

  120. Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul says at 5:04 am, November 17th, 2008

    My Fellow Royalists! Let’s remember the House of Windsor is nowadays patrilineally a part of the House of Oldenburg (Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg), thanks to the Duke of Edinburgh (Prince Philip). The Queen herself is of course a member of the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family.

  121. druranium: well, 9 of those posts are my different personalities coming to bear. i’ve been trying to act like different factions of the party. I haven’t done my little-bo-peep one yet.

  122. Weeping Jesus says at 8:24 am, November 17th, 2008

    I searched that redtube site like crazy and could not find a single damn video explaining the “trickle down” economic theory. I had to sit through I don’t know how many stupid videos showing congressional pages and who know what all. I’m looking for substance, you see. Maybe Hogrock Cafe has something…. worth a shot, so to speak…

  123. thefrontpage says at 12:03 pm, November 17th, 2008

    No one on earth cares anymore what this crazed woman Peggy Noonan says or does–no one. It’s just not worthy of attention anymore. No one cares about her.

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