Wonkette
HA HA HA: Silly Wonkette editor Ken Layne thought he could take a nice vacation from politics, completely unaware that he would be killed in hellish firestorms: “Just as my son and dog and I got back to the house, the power went out. It would flash on and off for the next hours, as hot white ash rained from the sky… Santa Ana gusts blew open the doors and windows. You couldn’t go outside without a wet towel clutched over your nose and mouth.” Blah blah blah, drama queen. [LAist]
No one escapes Our Wonkette. No one.
Muahahahahahahahahahahaah…
Also, I knew Ken had offspring, but I’m once again reminded: he clothes/feeds children on a blogger’s salary? I figured Ken had an underground bunker in the dessert, Sarah had 5 roommates, and Jim rented a room upstairs in a nice old lady’s boarding house.
Elitist Montecito fire-hell vacationists.
Maybe the California fires will stimulate the housing market. You know, those estate will need to be rebuilt. In the same location.
What a narcissist. “Aww, poor me. I can’t breathe, I have no power.” Me, me me. What about us, Ken!
That just might be the fallout from Lou Dobbs’ head exploding, and the hot white ash was the burned polyfill fluff and panda shit that was once supercompressed into his forehead.
May I suggest Alsaka for Ken’s next vacation.
There, he can totally forget about politics and stupid people.
Brushfires is God’s barbeque. Crispy racoon feeds four, easily.
Yeah Ken! We’ve had to do with either sub-wonkette-par alt-text to no alt-text and all you can talk about is putting a wet towel on your face? Come On!
CNN headline: “See homes burned to the ground in Oprah’s enclave”
What’s that supposed to be, for the schadenfreude? Hey honey, looky-here, rich folks dun have their homes burned up, good thing Oprah’s okee-dokee, hyuk.
Did God not get the memo? They voted AGAINST gay marriage, they’re the ones NOT to smite in hellfire.
Douglas Family Preserve? Is that like our own private wonktard Bohemian Grove?
Here’s hoping Ken & Co escape the Day of Wrath as hot ashes fall from the sky. At least we know Oprah Winfrey and Rob Lowe are OK.
That was just Bush launching the nukes at the America that hates him.
If there were a God, you might start to think he really doesn’t want people to live in California.
Well at least there’s no cannibal army yet, so this is working out better than expected:
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/10/november_5_post-election_plans.html
NoWireHangers: Plus he goes on vacation on a bloggers salary. What kind of arugula eating elitist can afford to take a vacation?
Does he live in Pompeii?
I for one welcome have a towel wrapped around my head ’cause I expect to be observing sharia in a few months.
jagorev: I imagine cannibals might have some starvation issues in S. Cal, what with all the silicone, so all-natural people had better be well-armed.
Guten tag, herr Governor. President-elect Obama says he would like to help, but he’s too busy putting meat on those skinny arms of his. Anyway, we figured you rugged individualists were counting on going it alone anyway. Hasta la vista, motherfucker.
grendel: No, just attending the Republican Governor’s Conference.
Yiff pile.
grendel: Southern California. So… yes.
Ken - I’ve been listening to the radio out there on the Internet. What’s The Grapevine? A leather bar?
WadISay: …or watching Total Recall on endless loop.
Oh, and boo-fucking-hoo Ofrah..and who the hell is Rob Lowe, and why do we care? Why do the people that can most afford to have something burn to the ground always escape it?
This is what we get for electing the Antichrist.
I know blogging is tough, but, believe it or not, living through a natural disaster is tougher.
To whomever is firing up the base in California: you’re doing it wrong.
Only in California will someone try to build a fire in 50 knot winds during a drought.
Ken Layne has kids???
That’s some bad luck
First Bible Spice loses the election, and now this.
Dude can’t catch a break
Ken Layne has kids???
That’s what he tells them, anyway.
Writing while saving one’s son and his pet from a raging inferno–cojones to spare.
Note how there have been no wildfires recently in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, or New Hampshire. See what happens when you piss off the Gay Agenda, California?
OffTheRecord: NoWireHangers: I always just assumed Mrs Ken had a decent paying job. That worked for me pretty well back in my ’semi-employed’ days.
These fires are fucking annoying. I just rode my bike to get lunch and come back to work and I feel like a smoked about 3 packs of Reds.
Fires schmires. Something is always burning in California. Get back to me when there are zombies walking the streets of Santa Barbara.
AOL commenters warned him he would burn in hellfires. He should have listened to N00bama76 that time.
pattycake: lol Lou Dobbs.
Ken should have a few of his houseboys beat out the wildfires with the palms of their little meztizo hands. “Little beach house”, indeed. http://www.beachhouse.com/4811-1
One word, Ken: Getthefuckoutatherenow!
Min: Does halloween in isla vista count?
nurple: A stretch of ball-sucking death along I-5 that used to be known for heavy fog and massive car crashes. Supposedly it’s quite nice now.
nurple: I-5 as it comes out of the central valley goes up a big hill and is called the grapevine. I have no idea why as there are no grapes visible. Could be a remnant of some former central valley Utopia, but I have my doubts.
Min: Most of the women there already have most of the characteristics of “zombie” down; what is your criteria?
nurple: Santa Barbara has no gay bars, leather or otherwise. We used to have four, but none of them were able to aspire to match the SB aesthetic, so they had to go. They’ve been replaced by a spa, a microbrewhouse, an upscale wine store, and a dive bar–with character, because there are straight people in it, so it’s okay.
Not that I’m bitter or anything.
Paradise.
So what HAS happened to the Ron Paul blimp?
Zhu Bajie
It’s only a little fire. Suck it up and walk it off!
Ken doesn’t just write for Wonkette. He owns it, sillies.
http://wonkette.com/379275/yes-we-can-wonkette-goes-solo
Duh. Doesn’t anyone do obsessive research on the websites they read every day? Or am I the only (under-employed) librarian commenter?
Ken, now you know how Democrats felt living for the past eight years under the Bush Administration. Surrounded by raging fires … white ash raining from the sky … when you call for help you get Rove. And when you finally see yourself on the news, FOX will be telling you it’s not happening.
Gosh if only there was a part of the country that DIDN’T CATCH FIRE every other week. *cough*The Midwest*cough*. But I digress. Who’d want to live there with the Mediterrian climate, the beach, the FIRES, the mudslides, the gangs, the old robots that live on old peoples medication, the FIRES, the earthquakes, the floods, the busineses and industries, the movie stars, the FIRES, the girls in bikinis, the FIRES. I mean, it’s just a paradise out here!
zhubajie: It’s been taken over by Cory Doctrow.
http://xkcd.com/497/
Pheh. Amateur.
In CA, we don’t inaugurate Fire Season until at LEAST three people run by, on fire.
Whether you use a bottle of champagne or pinot noir smashed against the side of their heads to douse the flames is the tell whether you’re from Southern or Northern California.
That’ll teach Ken to sleep thru when his travel agent asks, “Smoking or Non-Smoking section of California?”