Wonkette
- SURE HE’LL TAKE THAT: Barack Obama is being a dick by making McCain lose even more electoral votes. Obama probably earned one (1) electoral vote from Nebraska, which divvies up its total prize by district. [Omaha World Herald]
GREED
Nebraska, the home of people named Jeb who wear John Deere baseball caps, a Miller Lite in each hand and a Larry the Cable Guy Git-R-Done t-shirt with gut hanging out, that Nebraska, right? Those corn-humping mutants voted for Obama? Haha, joke’s on them, you see Obama’s actually black!
…Barry is really pouring salt in the wound and scrubbing it with a brill pad isn’t he. Good Job!
Yaaay! DICK!DICK!DICK!DICK!DICK!DICK!DICK!DICK!
I’m bettin’ that electoral vote tastes a little “gamey” but… heck, why not give it a try. Mmmmm, not bad. Not bad at all. Might have to score a few more next time ’round.
Ha HA! Way to be a dick Hopey. Like when a rapist uses your bathroom afterwards.
Suck it Walnuts.
I think Hopey should just keep running negative ads in Arizona and Alaska for the next 4 years. You know–because he’s got it like that.
Omaha for Obamha
This election is the gift that keeps on giving…
Strange, my Omaha Steaks order just came in with a side of chitlins.
What’s wrong with Neraska?
Hopey getting an EV in fucking Nebraska.
McCain should just retire to Arizona and die from shame.
sk1win: He’ll have to preserve some of the ad budget to fight Hillary - http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/hillary_clinton_resumes
1 point for Obamaha and the rest for Johnny 99.
Styrofoam Boots: Thats cold, lulz. Hopefully more of this is to come for payback.
sk1win:
Hopey’s got so much bank he probably could (and should) keep running negative ads against all potential 2012 GOP challengers from now until the next election.
Mattbolt, while I agree that sometimes ’stereotypes are a great timesaver’, they do not apply to the Omaha/Lincoln areas of E. Nebraska. Go fifty miles west into the cornfields and you’re mostly right. And, let’s not forget (someone correct me if I am wrong) but, the original founder of Wonkette spent her formative years in Lincoln, NE…as did I before escaping for life in a more elitist part of the country.
As a Nebraskan orginally from the eastern part of the state I am proud that some of my fellow Nebraskans fought so hard for Hopey to get him that one electoral vote. Woo hoo!
I miss Walnuts already. OMG what is the new Palin dirt?!?!
Does this have anything to do with how the local asses just re-did the school boards to create one big black district and three white ones? Wonder if there’s some kind of cause-and-effect there?
Warren Buffett is clearly to blame.
IntrepidVoyager: Sersleh, Omaha/Lincoln is full of nice old Lutherans who vote for non-dicks like Hagel. Should be no surprise that Obama can gain some traction there. Demographically, it’s like Minnesota and Wisconsin, and could go blue in the next couple of cycles.
I’m diggin’ this Asshole Obama even more than I do our typical Hopey Obama.
Think of the 1 electoral vote as a giant middle finger to the rest of the state.
Hey, Obama is a bad ass.
http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com
They’ve got a lotta corn in Nebraska. Hopey sold his soul to the ethanol devil.
nurple: A black district in Nebraska? About as likely as a white district in DC.
The bitters are still bitter and whining. Look what i found, their tears are so tasty.
A person who goes onto foreign soil to speak against my country belongs in a prison - and not the White House.
I will support any effort to impeach this fraud.
hedgehog: Like Indiana, towns with universities were overwhelmingly for Preznit-elect. The rest were in the Hateland red.
Hi guys. I’ve been laughing all day about how much of an asshole Rahm Emanuel is and how he is going to kill everyone who tries to fuck with President Hopey.
Now this! Can it be that the Democrats can out-asshole the Republicans?
Hill taek r elecurols b4 hee taek r freedumbs.
jagorev: Close - the Wisconsin Lutherans are dicks.
I think Obama should make like Bart from “Blazing Saddles” at the inaugural and pull his speech out of his pants. “‘Scuse me while I whip this out!”
Did I miss the post about North Carolina? Obama won that too. Gimme yer bitterz, all of them. . .
“It’s twue! It’s twue!”
Just to keep up the piling on, Virgil Goode might lose VA’s fifth district.
http://www.newsadvance.com/lna/news/local/article/update_perriello_leads_by_53_could_add_hundreds_more/10261/
How quickly that went from a gimme to a desperate battle — Virgil, if your citizens kick you out, I hope it was for being a sanctimonious prick, and not just ’cause they voted straight party line. You deserve that kind of thoughtfulness.
Violenza: My guess is this from the LA Times.
Rodney Badger: They certainly have in the past…so why the fuck do you think they wouldn’t in the future?
IntrepidVoyager: “Is it twue how zey say that you people are gifted?”
We are all Lili von Schtupp now.
Ugh, Tennessee’s General Assembly just went majority GOP… the first time since fucking RECONSTRUCTION. Can I please secede now and join Mississippi, which actually re-elected Travis Childers?
Q2: It was more of a rhetorical question. . .
Has this been posted? The great Michael Swaim takes it upon himself to make McCain’s concession speech as vitriolic and hate-filled as the months leading up to it were:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/if-mccains-concession-speech-had-been-as-bitter-as-the-campaign/
OT, but this is a fascinating map to keep in mind when you’re looking at the fancy NYT charts of voting by county:
http://www.visualizingeconomics.com/wp-content/uploads/usancestry-2000.jpg
Basically, everyone but “American” Americans went for the Muslin this time.
FreshCliches: Gracias! ‘Palin aides tell a different story. “The very first day of shopping, there was a $14,000 price tag and . . . she was absolutely shocked,” one of the Palin aides said.’
So shocked, she went back to Saks herself for some retail therapy.
Winning one EV in Nebraska is the political equivalent of dry humping. It feels good, there can be a sense of pleasurable release, but you don’t get to say you fucked anybody.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Let’s just hide in our little pockets of blue in our incredibly shitty, reactionary, redneck-infested state.
problemwithcaring: More than that, what I got out of that article is that the GOP is heading up to America’s Favorite Meth Capital to retrieve some of the items.
FreshCliches: exactly. none other than Michele Bachnut is a Wisconsin Synod Lutheran!
I told a hundred people that he’d get 365 electoral votes, then (with NC) he had 364 and I was cursing myself for not figuring out if 365 could actually happen. With Omaha, it’s 365 and now I’m cursing myself that I didn’t put money on it with someone.
Sweet Jeebus On A Stick, the schadenfreude never ends.
From Crooks & Liars:
Joe The Plumber was once a welfare queen.
I soooo want to SQL inject his websites now.
All of you are serious underestimating the Saddle Creek/Bright Eyes vote.
FreshCliches: Also, the article said the staffer who fell on his sword for OKing the faux-Sarkozy call was This Guy, a former aide to Condi.
This seems unreal. He could not have been that stupid, right? I am tempted to believe that he did it purposely to torpedo her. But then, he had to think about the mavericky blowback, right?…Damn, this is the best.reality.show.ever.
FreshCliches: If there is ever anything I can do for this Steve Biegun fellow, I am all over that.
wellspring: Heh, I was raised a Missouri Synod Lutheran in Milwaukee (I got over it).
We peed our pants, out of fear and laughter, over the WI Synod nutjobs.
FreshCliches: Oh Snap! That is so awesome. I bet Hopey already has a Reagan style ad crafted for the 2012 campaign featuring Joe the Welfare Bitch!
Mechanical Jacobin: I bet Conor Oberst knocked on thousands of doors. Nice old lutherans can’t say no to a clean cut earnest indie emo boy
FreshCliches: He kinda skipped over the part when he was on welfare pretty fast, didn’t he?
Where’s this Palin post? Want.It.NOW!
Styrofoam Boots: And doesn’t flush…
NoWireHangers: We are victims of gotcha-cha-cha journalism, bloggeresque bait and switch.
For fun I Googled Ashley Todd in the news, and this is the only article I found from the last 24 hours:
http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2008/11/06/in_winning_what_have_democrats.aspx
Not what I was hoping for, but it’s still full of bitter fail.
Axelrod is in! YAY!
Rodney Badger: By the way, the central premise of that article is that by electing Negro Domestic Terrorist Barack Hussein Obama, the Democrats have shown themselves to be the party of intolerance. The Democrats are intolerant because they made fun of a retarded, race-baiting, face-carver and a white-nationalist welfare queen/non-plumber.
jagorev: Thanks for playing, all. Have some Turtle Wax on the way out.
EXPLANATION FOR NEBRASKA CHERRY ON HOPEY’S BLOODY SUNDAE?
Three words: Ernie Fucking Chambers. NE’s Lone Black Avenger. Famous for suing God.
‘Twas he who came out from the shadows to put the final bullet in the corpse of the McCain candidacy. Sic Semper Valnutis.
http://www.motherjones.com/news/outfront/2006/01/importance_being_ernie.html
this is also a pretty big victory for alternatives to the winner-take-all electoral college system. Nebraska and Maine are the only states that have the option of divvying up their votes proportionately, but this is the first time it hasn’t been a swept state in either instance.
As someone who lives in Nebraska, I can say we worked our asses off for Obama. And the Obama campaign dumped scads of money into Congressional District 2. They opened three offices across Obamaha. Obama fans showed up in droves for debate watch parties, rallies, and other events. They’ve really been like boy band groupies.
If Camp Obama had put half of the effort into Congressional District 1, they could have flipped it as well. CD 1 (includes Lincoln) was consistently polling closer than CD 2 (includes Omaha), but CD 1 has more square miles to cover. If Obama or Biden had visited Nebraska, CD 1 and 2 would have gone crazy for the Dem ticket.
And believe it or not, Larry the Cable Guy is actually a Dem and has a house just south of Lincoln. Sad, but true.
Fly Over Girl: very true, Lancaster County (which is home to both the state’s capital and main university) voted for Obama over McCain (63,464 to 57,925). If there had been some sort of increased presence, such as an Obama or Biden visit, I’m sure Obama would have gotten the Second electoral vote, especially with Lincoln’s big student population
p.s. it’s nice to know there are other nebraskan wonketters.
lapinot: that was creepily accurate.
Since this is such an undoubtedly historic event, maybe we should immortalise Obama by adding his face to Mt Rushmore? Looks like we could squeeze him in between Roosevelt and Lincoln
mattbolt:
‘Jeb’? Where are you getting this image of Nebraska from?
You mean, Nebraska, home of Omaha, home of Malcolm X?
With an enormous community of black people and, until recently, some of the poorest and most segregated black people in any metropolitan area in the nation?
Your cartoon image is bizarre. Two dialects are spoken in Nebraska: What is known as ‘neutral’ English (reporter-speak) and AAVE..
Kinbote, are you kidding me? Because of Ernie Chambers? Ernie Chambers is a symptom of what Omahans are like and what they care about. And so is anti-war Chuck Hagel.
Non-metropolitan Nebraska is relatively conservative because of the relatively egalitarian living conditions. As you must know, there is a direct correlation between reduced income disparity and conservatism –everyone is making about the same in their communities, so they do not see the need for more redistribution. Nebraska has a better public high school system, higher educational attainment than most states, and some of the lowest teen and overall pregnancy rates in the nation. Non-metro Nebraska reaches neither reach the extremes of excellence nor those of squalor that “blue” states do, but that does not mean that Nebraskans are akin to impoverished Southerners.
This is the problem with majoritarian democracy: it pushes into our habits of thinking the idea that %50.00001=%100. The 47% of Nebraskans that always vote Democratic are not thought to exist at all.
PS, I am neither a social conservative nor a classical libertarian, just a Nebraskan who is sick of the incredibly false ‘red/blue’ notion of political ideology. Is that sufficiently snarky?
Mechanical Jacobin: Yeah, Omaha is chock full of self-important hipsters, rich old white people, and black folks. The black folks and the hipsters combine to outnumber the rich old white folks and bickety bam, Hopey wins. I’m very proud of my former city, but prouder still that I finally live in a state that as a whole voted for the right dude (NEVADA WHAT)
Brown Menace: Sorry dude, I grew up in the panhandle and it’s still racist and stupid as shit. Not entirely, mind you, but I grew up with tons of dudes who drove around with Confederate flags in the back of their pick ups despite, ya know, growing up in Nebraska their whol lives and it having been a free state. Fuck a stereotype, but only to a certain extent.
BrownMenace: Nope, you need 51%, or no dice. Virginia and N. Carolina = modern, metropolitan, and cultured. Nebraska = backwards. I hope that clears up your misunderstanding, and thanks for the corn!
BrownMenace: Does Nebraska really usually go 47% percent Dem? I don’t recall that being the case in 04 when I voted for Kerry (but Kerry sucked so maybe that was an aberration).
Hello fellow Nebraska Wonketteers! I’m still glad I GTFO of that place but I sort of miss Omaha some times, so keep the faith up there and whatnot. Also, Conor Oberst sucks, sorry.
Et tu, Nebraska?
I am so sad and ashamed. The Dust Bowl State is stupider than Nebraska. The dumber Sassy Sarah is, the more my idiot neighbors like her. they can relate, since they don’t know stuff, either.
They’ve got no problem paying higher taxes than rich people, but feel completely bitter toward smart people.
Belongs on another post, but how fucking happy are we that we won’t have to look at that look-I-didn’t-retard-this-retard show baby anymore?
I hope louie, or Leif or lucky or whatever baby daddy’s name is takes this opportunity to make a run for the border. Have they promised him money? No, they couldn’t have–or else he wouldn’t have been forced to drop out of high school and go to Caribou Flats, or whever it is the poor little bastard had to go work on the pipeline, or whatever.
For Walnuts to lose part of Nebraska makes him campaign even more of an epic failure than I had hoped for. Too bad about the numbnuts in OK, which is seriously not okay.
Since almost all Wonketters (including the birth mother) are obviously Cornhuskers, Wonkette is like a tiny province of Eastern Nebraska, i.e. the headquarters of notorious progressive-tax and muslin-lover Warren Buffett’s kingdom. Many of his wealthy white courtiers in Nebraska’s Second Congressional District voted Obama (even as they were keeping Lee Terry in Congress). It’s a magical land of contradictions, fertile for unicorns!
The school districts were not carved up along racial lines. That was merely a very public feint, designed to mask the true cut that would bleed out more suburban money for the urban schools: a Learning Community with a shared tax base. The racially divided school districts were created de facto decades ago when second-generation white immigrants fled to the suburbs to avoid having to bus their kids. They took all the tax base with them, but now all their base are belong to us.
Bypartizoa: Completely correct. Our state capitol is the enduring symbol of that sentiment: http://www.theusatravel.net/fckep/Image/Nebraska/Lincoln.jpg (yes, that man on top is sowing seeds into the fertile plain–he is called The Sower).
Five counties in Nebraska went for Obama (Sarpy, Douglas, LANCASTER, Saline, and Thurston)… and it’s extremely unusual for so many NE counties to go so heavily D. I hope to have a purple state sometime early next week.
More states should split their electoral vote!
lampadadog: Yep, Omaha loves the Unicorn but hates the two guys with blots on their driver’s licenses who ran for office.
I also thought you might mention that the Capitol is known as the “Penis of the Plains>”
Mary Todd Flatwater: The last time Lancaster County went blue was for LBJ in 1964. Saline usually goes blue. It’s the Czech influence, I suppose.
UPDATE:
Nebraska’s District 2 electoral vote officially called for Obama.
http://omaha.com/index.php?u_page=2835&u_sid=10481441