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Ha ha, Robert Gibbs. The first time we saw him on the teevee, we immediately assumed that this smug chubby-faced white guy was a Republican. But whoops, no, he is a hilarious Democrat who grins his way through arguments with Sean Hannity and acted as Barack Obama’s communications director during the campaign. Now he will be the new Dana Perino. [Politico]
10:42 AM
on Thu November 6 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
4405 Views
Wonkette
When did Tom Arnold get into politics?
A smug chubby faced white man who is a Democrat? Will wonders never cease? Then again, he probably doesn’t have any secret kinks that involve men’s rooms, text messaging, or meth, so he’s obviously a Dem.
But will he be able to distract reporters by jiggling his man boobs? ‘Cause I’m worried he won’t be as effective as Perino.
…who would have figured Scott Mcclellan would get his old job back?
This will be the whitest administration in history.
Yes but is he a real American?
AngryBlakGuy:
Actually, I was almost hoping… that would have been a nice “fuck you” to the Bushies, wouldn’t it?
Actually, he looks disturbingly like an older James Widdoes, aka Hoover from Animal House. Come to think of it, here’s a gigantic picture of present-day James Widdoes, hosted on jameswiddoes.org, the preeminent location for all James Widdoes-related information.
Terry: That mkes him a minority, doesn’t it? Who has the big tent, now, rethugs?!!
Who Gibbs?
Hopefully Gibbs will do what’s right for America and get a neck-tuck/waddle-suction. I can’t look at that neck roll for FOUR YEARS.
I call on the American media to do the right thing: always show Dana Perino in a gauzy focus, like a teddy bear being given to a sick child or a rose at a funeral.
FUCK!
I had my money on the intrepid journalist Matt Drudge.
jagorev: Don’t worry, I have it on good information that Professor Griff will become head of the newly-created Department of Security for the First World. Thousands of S1Ws are massing on the White House lawn as we speak.
Gibbs is right for America…but not the Redskins.
And I was hoping that it was going to be Terrel Owens. I haz a sad.
I’m not gonna snark on anyone who slapped that bitch Hannity around. Nuh-uh.
Serolf Divad: …hehehe, true! But the fact that I have been hearing Colin Powell’s name being thrown around as Sec. of Education is already a big “Suck it” to the Bushies. Frankly I would like to see Keith Olberman or Al Franken(if he loses) become the press secretary because it would make Bill Oreilly’s head implode like neutron star!
he looks likes that Mike repg Bozo the Clown guy they have on Meet the Press.
Can they project a hologram of Dana Perino, but with Gibbs’ voice? I might find that attractive, yet disturbing.
Oh this is awesome. He will answer to the a-hole right wing radio concerns. I can’t wait for him to say “Rush, just eat a cock with that cigar for once.”
Gibbs — a 37-year-old native of Auburn, Ala. — became familiar to viewers during the campaign for his sunny steeliness
Sunny Steel–could be a male stripper name.
Well, shit. I’m gonna have to start listening to White House press conferences on the radio, rather than watching them on mute.
But…but…what about that all hottie administration Barack promised us? He picked Rahm just to tease us, and then follows up with a chubby white guy? He’d better pick Brangelina as joint secretaries of state or something, or I’m going to be pissed.
norbizness: My world is now complete: an Ivy League grad who can speak in complete sentences is assembling his White House team, and I have “Hoover” as my desktop image. It’s morning in America.
Sussemilch: The endless poetry babbling that would ensue…..
Scary as hell.
Did anyone find out if Joe the Plumber found the correct voting precinct and did he finish reading the ballot question yet?
Meh. He looks like a boyscout. I bet he can’t lie nearly as well as Tony Snow. OTOH, hopefully he won’t have to.
Maybe we could just open up the little service bay door on Perino’s back turn the little dial from “EVIL” a couple of notches over to “GOOD.”
Oh, thank god. I think that any guy who calmly hands Hannity his own ass on a down-home southern platter deserves to speak all the time about everything.
…if anyone actually listened to the right-wing racist, you would have thought “Lil Wayne” would be press secretary! Not that, that would be a bad idea.
Sussemilch:
I read that as “Sonny Rollins” and thought that was a pretty good choice too, if they could get Billy Cobham in on press conferences.
Sussemilch: HOLY shit. That would be the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen! I would go to journalism school and become a White House correspondent just to sit in on those press conferences.
Zenmaster Robert Gibbs at work with Sean “Guilt by Association” Hannity.
Woah, shit, that guy has balls. I don’t care what he looks like. He was smiling on inHannity to free his teeth for biting.
It will be a change from sock puppets.
norbizness: Actually, he’s merging S1W with ACORN, Nation of Islam, the Black Panthers, Americorps, and the Village People to form that newfangled Civilian Service Corps they’re talking about. The revolutionary resistance, led by Doctor Professor Glenn Reynolds, LLD, is forming up in Galt’s Gulch as we speak, and advance agents Michelle Malkin and Pam Geller are on their way to inspect
WhiteBlack House kitchen countertops.Whiskeybaby: Angelina Jolie as Ambassador to the United Nations. It is past time this selfless worker in the vineyard of refugee assistance has gotten some recognition.
http://www.un.org/works/goingon/refugees/angelina_story.html
http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2008/02/01-07/107mnunangelinajolieb400.jpg
AngryBlakGuy:
Al Franken press secretary? That would be awesome! (Not as awesome as Senator Franken, mind you, but awesome nonetheless).
Oops, my bad. I didn’t check out the link first. Sorry Sara!
Lascauxcaveman: …the ability to lie that well is caused by a brain tumor in a certain area of the brain.
What is that GOLD PIN on his coat there? Is it a soviet commemorative pin? I sure hope so.
press secretary: John Hodgeman
Another picture of Penguin Poindexter. Kinda cute.
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2008/03/09/us/09obama.1.ready.html
Since Hannity was referenced in the story, and not that I expect it, but did anyone happen to see Hannity’s first show since Hopey won?
I missed it, and was sooo looking forward to the schadenfreude.
Alex Trebeks Girl:
It’s a medal of the order of Lenin, I’m pretty sure.
Darehead: Obama obviously surrounds himself with comical looking white guys to enhance his own sexay. You might almost forget that he’s a geeky too-skinny college professor nerd.
Why not Charles Barkley? I don’t get it….
Whiskeybaby: Look, he’s trying to appeal to all fetishes. I’m sure one of his appointments will reflect your future proclivities, so be patient.
WadISay: Just like Dr. Girlfriend.
*future appointments….
jagorev: Gibbs will be better for the comic artists than Barry.
thecip: God that would be amazing. All the press releases would have SUDDEN CAPITALIZATION. And they would go on forever and involve hobo names.
donner_froh: She is already scheduled to sing Happy Birthday, Mr. President on Hopey’s next birthday.
jagorev: Until we meet Ambassador Billy Dee Williams.
Also, sages say ‘don’t judge a book by its cover for some pr0n magazines come in a plain brown wrapper.’
AngryBlakGuy: I was thinking the same thing on Olbermann; it would be a real treat to keep track of the aneurysm/press conference ratio.
AngryBlakGuy: Good idea. Or, here’s another one. Al Franken for Court Jester.
I thought Barry promised us Rip Taylor for Press Secretary?
Not Ludacris? You mean the forward my racist relatives sent me was…wrong?
Q. Mr. Gibbs, how many socialists will be in President Hussein’s cabinet
A. No comment.
I’m sure I’ll grow to hate him, but he gets 6 months free of criticism from me for that Hannity interview. Jesus, Obama’s whole campaign is about extricating liberalism from the clutches of the Boomer, New Left, smug idealogues in favor of governing by consensus yet Fox News ties him to the biggest, Boomer, Machiavellian turd of all, William Ayers? Yeesh!
JeffGoldblum:
“Mega Ditto’s” and a big, non-homosexual hug for the Rip Taylor reference.
Sigh. I still miss Ari. No one else could lie, condescend, and entertain all at the same time he could.
And really, what else makes for a good press secretary?
Sussemilch: Right? How much would that rock? It would only take an hour or two before he’d hit the “Sit down and shut up, you twisted right-wing hack” point.
thecip: No, Hodgeman should be the Supreme Court spokesman, Justin Long the Obama guy. This is no time to cast against type.
Balls in your court now Dana? You gonna sit there and take that shit? I’m betting she shows up to her next presser in nothing but a towel.
This confirms the rule; as the administrations lies get bigger, the press secretary must get better-looking,
Ari Fleischer > Scott McClellan > Tony Snow > Dana Perino.
I can’t think of anyone better than Robert Gibbs to give hemorrhages to FoxNews and Washington Times reporters. I predict the first right-wing journalist will have to be hauled off, kicking and screaming, no later than April 9, 2009. I also predict that this tantrum will be recorded and remixed as a hit dance single.
heronimule: No kidding. See: re: Ralph Nader.
Ok, seriously, I need to stop.
Moose tits! Biden in porn!
Quacker: That’d be crazy.
I will withhold judgement until he discusses what obvious piece of American history he didn’t know to the Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me panel.
FreshCliches: Hannity, who looked like he was on valium or something as he was pretty sedate, spent most of his time saying how Obama has to govern like a Republican and not the far-lefty Socialist radical that he is and that he’s afraid for America because Obama’s going to personally let Osama into the country to blow things up. He then interviewed a very sedate Karl Rove who also looked a little out of it, probably because he knows he’s three or four months away from prison, and– God help us– Joe the Plumber. Looks like Joe the Plumber is well on his way to being Joe the Fox News Douchebag.
The new Dana Perino? Does this mean he’ll be a startlingly incompetent nincompoop liar? You’re filling some pretty big shoes here
FreshCliches: I switched Hannity on for about two minutes last night. He was all like “the REAL Obama still has yet to reveal himself to America”. He “stands by” his rabid smears.
At that point I could not handle looking at his puffy, hate-filled face anymore so I changed the channel. Sad. Really fucking sad.
Quacker: Dudez, GNARLS Barkley. The Soul Sessions.
anyone who can make hannity squirm like the worm that he is ,has my blessings.
I just had, like, a blinding insight: there are actually going to be Presidential Press Conferences again. And I won’t have to turn off the tee vee to avoid Mr. Smug Monkey’s voice any more. So the Press Secretary will actually have something to do. Wow. The change part of this whole situation is beginning to sink in.
YES! That’s one, now find a job for David Axelrod and I am farting more rainbows!
A 1989 grad of Auburn High? Probably the one who kept throwing beer bottles over my fence.
So, am I supposed to use this to warn or motivate our AHS 10th grader: “Son, if you do/don’t study….”
That clip of Gibbs goading Hannity is great. That defines unflappable.
MarSF: Saw the same thing, but I was thinking, could he be Walnuts, Jr.? He has that puffy thing going on.
Yaybuls: What worse,Gibbs is pictured on Drudge right now wearing a Cowboys t-shirt…
heronimule: Yea. When I first saw the Gibb interview, I was all, “meh” - he didn’t yell out the right counterarguments and loudly enough. FAIL. It eventually dawned on me, though, that Gibb’s beguiling kindness was what could make someone like Sean Insanity go to bed with a really limp and angry dick. So I was pleased.
Quacker: That would be awesome, and would definitely beef up his “reaching across the aisle” creds. I would tune in to every single press conference, waiting for the loogies to fly…
Truculent: i thought “new Dana Perino” meant he had a penchant for double penetration.
jagorev:
I think it would be fun if he grew a Trotsky goatee, and started wearing Malcom X glasses. Then he wouldn’t even need a press secretary - the stories would write themselves.
Bob is actually a nice, normal guy, with a lovely wife (a lawyer in Alexandria), and an adorable toddler (who he has barely seen for 2 years now). I think he is going to be great, and assuming Hopey doesn’t make him tell bald-faced lies, won’t have to write nasty tell-alls after he quits.
Rush:
The correct answer is, “only you, sir!”
The fourth Bee Gee!
Sussemilch: Second. Move to the floor.
sezme: Probably could have said, “The Living Bee Gee”
Meth Lab for Cutie: That is disordered thinking. Not even for a hate fuck
InKnockYouUs: seriously - when the president gives a press conference, I won’t be flipping channels furiously, trying to erase the fact that I accidentally heard 2 syllables and my ears are bleeding.
Itsjustme: Harsh! Barry and Robin have also managed to stay alive (which you can tell by the way they use their walk, although they are women’s men and have no time to talk).
sezme: I suppose that was a bit harsh. I just remember seeing the autopsy of one of them, and it read Blah Blah Gibb, an uncircumcised Male. After that, I never looked at the living Brothers the same. They are dead to me.
Meh, I give Gibbs a B- for the Hannity video. The real obvious argument, which I guess it would not be politically expedient, is that unlike Hannity, Barack Obama actually seeks out and considers the opinions of people whom he doesn’t agree with on everything. That probably is too cerebral to play on Fox News, though.
Another fun one, but even more “whoosh” for the typical Fox viewer: Based on his rhetoric, which does Hannity think would be more destructive to America’s future - an abortion clinic bombing (or even another 9/11-level attack) or a country run on the principles of his close friend ALAN COLMES?
The American people need to know why Sean Hannity pals around with “journalists” who admire the political positions of Nancy Pelosi.