Wonkette
SCUMDUGGERY: Oh so now there’s another investigation into Sarah Palin’s Troopergate, and this one argues that the other one (by the Alaska state legislature) was wrong and that Palin didn’t abuse her office by obsessively trying to get her ex-brother-in-law fired, and then trying to fire some other cop. Oh but new crime alert: She probably did a bunch of illegal shit with official e-mail. Mavericky! [New York Times/ADN]
Oh hey, this brings up important . . . I don’t care. Go away
She makes Ted Stevens look like a damn choir boy. What is up with Alaskan pols? Do they think our lower 48 laws don’t apply to them?
Ssshhhhh. SNL’s on.
Anyone else’s blowdar sensing that somehow, someone, somewhere, took in a big mouthful for this new investigation?
Meh, I’ve never understood what everyone was so worked up over. Then again, I didn’t know why Whitewater and Travelgate were so fucking awful, either, so what do I know.
I looked up in the sky tonight in Arizona and I saw a cresent moon with one bright star beside it — just like the flag of Turkey. I think it’s a sign that our favorite foreign-born Muslim is going to win the election. Take that Palin!
So wait, 4chan guessed her retarded e-mail question and spread the contents of her e-mail, which led to the revelation that she was using it for questionable shit, which means… 4chan, the place where retarded teenagers discuss anime and rape, was responsible for the downing of a major political figure?
so can we go back to the way we were tomorrow and forget she exists?
Scandal pro-tip: If it can’t be summarized in one sentence, people won’t give a shit. “Nixon illegally wiretapped his opponents” is golden, because any old AOL commenter with a few years of high school under their belt can understand that sentence. “Clinton got a blowjob and lied about it” is even better, since morons not only understand what it means, it’s something so simple they can even form opinions on it. Now, start bringing in all these complicated “Well, see this person’s brother, may have had [...] violation of trust wherefore [...] due process of investigation into [...]“OH GOD I’M ALREADY ASLEEP
If Re-pubes wanted to steal the headlines from Barry’s poor Granny, they shoulda just brought out Nancy Reagan’s maggot-infested corpse.
You know, without the air of a potential felony, she just becomes kind of boring. Tina Fey has her scar, now Palin just has a clutch of whining kids.
Tomorrow evening, Sarah Palin will click together her $10,000 Neiman Marcus red ruby slippers and say “There’s no place like home, dontcha know” three times, and it will all be over - the evil old wizard will be forgotten, no more yellow brick road to the big White House, just back home in good old black-and-white Alaska with Todd. And the horrible dream will be over.
…just 12 more hours until she goes back to the obscurity for which she deserves.
er. on the AP report i saw there was this wonderful statement:
“The board, a three-member panel under Palin’s authority, was responsible for determining if she had broken any laws.”
..but i’m sure they were totally objective…
mattbolt: Or how about, “Palin lied about Trig who was her daughter’s baby.”
I’m still waiting for anchorage annie’s medical records.
minimally on topic: did y’all just see scareh palin on snl’s “bash” just now? she was “joking” about how she wants to get rid of nbc. it was the least funny thing i have ever seen, and where snl is concerned, that is saying a lot. she scary!
Here’s a good subject for an investigation: How did the staff of a vice presidential candidate do 4 days of pre-call prep and not realize the frogs with the unbelievable accents on the other end of the line were not actually connected with the French president but instead Canuckleheads with a radio show?
Texan Bulldoggette: Alaskans live by Frontier Justice. Fun Fact: 1 out of 4 Alaskan high court judges are elephant seals!
So the Branchflower report was in two parts — a 100 page exegesis of the facts and a 163-page set of eyewitness accounts. And then this Personnel Board yokel releases a 267 word executive summary with nothing backing it up. Hmmm — hard to tell who did the more thorough job. But I guess after that we can consider the case closed, right?
ignatius_riley: I heard it from the next room — I kept wondering if it was a commercial, and then, when I heard her say she was going to revoke NBC’s license, wondered when there was going to be a punchline and laughter. Nothing.
Bah- so they let her off the hook. Now that her health records are released, we’ll find she’s a failed Benne-Jezzerit witch who used her mind powers on McCain, but is not powerful enough for bigger-brained creatures.
The governor couldn’t even control her own personal email password… 14 mins and counting…
AHHHHHH!!!!!!! Comments are too long. Brain. BRAIN!!! (I have the flu.) Have some fucking sympathy here. Troopergate isn’t real. It doesn’t exist. *Pooff*
I hear her hummas sucks too!
Johnny Zhivago: They’re to die for… or at least to lose your business partner over!
I love the story about her medical records. Before, the whole baby rumor was kinda stupid- now, bring it on. I’ve also been reading speculation about anything from STDs (from Todd’s best friend who she was supposedly banging) to a previous abortion to even a meth addiction picked up while Mayor. See how much fun that whole story is?
HuskyMescan: I thought her medical records were supposed to be released “in a few days” two weeks ago?
Don’t they have copying machines in Alaska, or do the elves do this with their quill pens?
Johnny Zhivago: Yeah, remember this is Alaska we’re talking about. The elf illiteracy rate is like 220%. (That’s elf maths too)
Johnny Zhivago: CNN just referred to them and they’re passing them onto Deepak or John King, or someone for analysis
Rev. Juan MessyCan: Hmmm… I wonder what they could do with the Magic Wall for that purpose. Maybe they can use her lookalike from Nailin’ Paylin. I’d prefer that.
And I’m a total faggot(TM).
When this is all over, if any McCain staffers want to discuss their frustrations dealing with Sarah Palin in a caring, nurturing and supportive environment, I hope they will feel free to share their feeling with Wonkette, which will surely treat their information with due professionalism.
Anyone seen any recent pictures of the daughter where she forgets to put on the pregnancy prosthesis to simulate her 15th month of pregnancy?
Anyone think the daughter is secretly the most relieved person in the world now that media scrutiny will be limited to the North Pole Tattler? (Well, her and that kid Levi who can now go back to banging the hockey groupies like any Wasilla stud high schooler should be doing…)
Jukesgrrl: A lovely night sky tonight out here, with the crescent to the south and that nice little buddy star. “The Moon and His Dog,” it’s called.
Ken Layne: That nice little buddy star is planet Jupiter, doncha know. That’s right, King of the Gods and Queen of the Night, together and shining down on all to see. They’ll be calling that the “Obama Conjunction” in years to come. (That star on the flag of Turkey is just a generic star, it’s not the King of the Gods.)
slappypaddy: I will do everything in my power to spread that label. I’ve been advocating to replace most outdated religious dogma (say, the three religions of the book) with a democratic mythos. I saw it as a way of countering the cancer of fundamentalism (even in its milder manifestations).
Nothing like being exonerated by people appointed by your corrupt predecessor.
Can the legislature in Alaska impeach the governor like they HAVE DONE here in AZ??
She is Ev Mecham reincarnated.
Ken Layne: The Eastern Sierra will tomorrow have our snow and rains, but your valley will remain parched and dry, like a Walnuts in the afternoon sun.
I also grew up in a small town. There are plenty of venal, corrupt, ignorant housewives vying for state jobs so they can avenge their sisters nasty husbands. I tell you, it happens every day!
Isn’t this the board SHE appointed, that answers to HER? No bias possible there.
Oh, and Now the California GOP has filed a complaint with the FEC claiming Obama should not have flown Airforce O to Hawaii to visit Grandma because it wasn’t a campaign stop. They did this TODAY (still Monday on the West Coast), the same day that Grandma died because these people are so smart and sensitive. And they certainly don’t think this will make people reflect on Republican campaign funds spent on Palin’s $150 thou wardrobe or on tax dollars spent flying her pregnant children around the country or on how fucking stupid the entire republican party is.
Ken Layne: Get a good look at it Ken. After McCain unleashes the full power of our arsenal on Iran, you will only be able to see grey soot.
you try and hold it back, but eventually it just gets out. fuck fuck fuck this woman and i can’t fucking wait to see her on TV later, crying her fucking eyes out when she and walnuts get crushed.