Wonkette
Why is Sarah Palin such an epic failure? Because she’s a moron? A racist? A dingbat? A national clown? Well, yes, but experts say the real problem is that she’s the last Republican culture warrior. The old GOP anger-bear army consisted of abortion-obsessed white losers furious over the existence of minorities. And they’re still out there, still angry and still illiterate. But there’s not enough of them to win elections anymore, and the new Great Depression has even knocked some common sense into a few of these people — this year, a lot of bitters sort of cleared the Rove Goo from their eyes and realized being permanently enraged about guns or Mexicans is not really the path to wealth and happiness.
Younger voters just don’t care much about race, they aren’t paranoid about homosexuals trying to do whatever it is they fear homosexuals want to do to poor dumb white people, and they’re very much in favor of the kinds of things Dingbat Palin mocks with such enthusiasm: environmental protection, alternative energy and government-backed health care.
And surprise, surprise, younger voters are going heavily to Obama and Democrats across the board. Older voters are surprisingly in the tank — that Medicare and Social Security is pretty good stuff, HENGHH? — and “that one” has the wealthy and the educated on his side.
In the Washington Post today, Peter Beinart says Culture War just isn’t selling anymore, and that only 6% of voters now name “issues like abortion, guns and same-sex marriage” as a big deal.
The economic challenges of the coming era are complicated, fascinating and terrifying, while the cultural battles of the 1960s feel increasingly stale …. Although she seems like a fresh face, Sarah Palin actually represents the end of an era. She may be the last culture warrior on a national ticket for a very long time.
Last of the Cultural Warriors [Washington Post]
>>being permanently enraged about guns or Mexicans is not really the path to wealth and happiness.
Oh shit, does this mean Lou Dobbs may be out of a job soon?
You gonna have to pry my white plastic Jeebus from my cold dead hands!
Palin will grow a large moustache, put on a Prussian uniform with PICKELHAUBE, and campaign as Graf Otto von Dingbatt. Catholics and Jews will not like.
I think fellow culture warrior, O’Reilly, should prank call her about loofahs and falafel.
uh, yeah, right. Hooray, tolerance 4 evah, starting tomorrow.
Absolutely, definitely the last culture warrior … at least until 2010, 2012, 2014, 2016, etc. etc.
Uh, she’s a white supremacist. I should think that would be obvious to everybody and anybody. She got the job because she’s literally the only one who would agree to run with McCain. I don’t buy the hype about how much Pawlenty and Romney wanted the nod.
Rove goo? Ewwww!!!
BUT WUT ABOUT TEH BABIES???//???/???
“When does life begin? If you’re not in my Rolodex, you don’t exist.” - Bill Hicks
It’s a goddamn shame that Bill isn’t alive to comment on this campaign. Perhaps that’s why I have this transference to Ken, Jim, and Sara.
She is the child left behind that Bush warned us about.
The Demographics say that being angry and bitter is less likely to get you laid (i.e. less children) while being optimistic, “hopey”, and a libtard slut gets you lots of tail (i.e. more children), therefore the caustic bigoted bastards are a dying breed.
I miss the days when “culture war” referred to Wm. F. Buckley Jr. and Gore Vidal trying to come up with the most obscure rearely-used-in-post-Elizebethan-English adjective to describe their opponent’s position on an issue.
Delicious: Rove Goo is The New Santorum.
I don’t think that lady governor is equipped for any war that doesn’t involve shoot four-legged creatures from a whirly-bird.
The last of the neocons…. like a bunch of dying dinosaurs.
One can’t evolve overnight I guess.
Maybe she will become fossil fuel someday.
We can drill baby drill her… nasty eh?
The necons will all be in the gas tank.
She has also lost the “coutoure war”. The “cooter war”, however, she is winning.
Once it became OK to like the gays, the culture warriors lost their edge.
seriously, WTF? the 50 million bitters who liked what they saw and pull their levers (wokka) for Palin tomorrow will vanish in a fine rainbow mist of hope and unity the very next day because suddenly fear and hatred of SEX and FOREIGNERS and DEATH evaporate and false consciousness suddenly ceases to operate?
I’m supposed to care about whatever issues she’s blathering on about? I just like her pretty, pretty clothes! Palin shiny.
This piece was so well written I can barely cast my eyes upon it. Kudos to Ken Layne.
One word: fail. Sarah Palin, don’t think for a second you have a chance in hell of a win in 2012.
http://plightofthepumpernickel.blogspot.com
I don’t care if it rains or freezes, long as I have my plastic Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car….
Yes, we have moved on from being scared of gays, black people, and immigrants.
Now we’re scared of brown people and immigrants.
But what about Bachmann, Dole, and Jindal.
Aren’t they also the last bastions of ig’nant dogma?
Hahahaha, suck it, Wonkette-tards…who better to have a war against culture than Mooselini with the gauge pried out of Charlton Heston’s dead hands?
yeah, “last” cultural warrior? I don’t think so. - the cavedwellers may be momentarily tongue-tied - the idea of having a black president may make them apoplectic, but they’ll snap out of it and start ranting soon enough. and then they’ll have new fears and resentments to add to their paranoid litany.
Hey now Ken, I think we could all use some extra Rove goo this winter to burn as heating oil…
Who’s gonna tell this to Texas?
REpubs bitching about “Culture wars” don’t piss me off as much as their invoking class warfare. Fuckers. It’s class warfare when you define “trickle down economics” as throwing buckets of shit on the poor, and the poor don’t like it?
Iggy Plop: Agreed. If the “culture war” was able to build itself up during the relative prosperity of the 90s and define itself against folsky rural president Bill Clinton, methinks it can revive itself during a global recession under an urban-oriented cosmopolitan black (half-muslin) president…
…please, if there is a god let this woman run in 2012!
Serolf Divad: I heart Serolf Divad
This young voter is no culture warrior, but is passionately against government-backed health care, government-mandated environmental regulations, and government-sponsored alternative energy work. Let’s face it, the financial incentive is there, whoever finds a cheap, viable alternative energy source will (in a free market system) be the next Rockefeller. But anyone who thinks this is anything close to a free market is sorely mistaken.
What’s a guy like me to do? I can’t vote for either one…yeah, I’m a Paultard in case you haven’t already guessed…
I was once talking to the head of marketing for a major manufacturer of handguns and he observed that the key to the business was that, for most of their customers, their gun is their most expensive possession. It may be possible that some day poor American men will discover self esteem through investing in education for their children rather than superior firepower, but that day is a long way off. Whatever change this election brings, remember that after Tuesday the lobbyists who profit from the culture war will pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get back to work.
Dammit libruls you aren’t doing enough to piss off the other side. I mean C’MON! Hit a baby er something.
Serolf Divad: If only I could also have a brain like yours, I would no longer be eating hobo beans out of hobo cans topped with hobo sauce.
Does this mean she will accept a call from me, as head of the Klingon Empire, urging her to fight on, or not?
JimBob: you could retreat to a compound and barter your gold doubloons for squirrel meat…
WABishop: You have to keep in mind that guns are essentially coupons for everything. If you have one you can use it to get whatever you like for free, whether it’s corn flakes, a case of pabst, or murder. Very useful!
Let’s see a graduate degree do that for ya!
To the end of the culture wars, this liberal christian says “AMEN”!
If I was a culture warrior, I would force everyone to the theater.
Hah! Just wait ’til the wingnuts are forced to report to the Wealth Redistribution Centers. Won’t they been in for a surprise.
Norbert:
Fear and hatred of foreigners and sex, and love of guns and extreme religous beliefs… all that shit has ALWAYS been with us. But it was never welded together into a political platform, an actual governing philosophy that is, fortunately, self-limiting. It’s collapsed under its own weight. So Sarah may indeed be the last pol to wave the culture warrior flag… at least for a little while.
Remember the old joke about not getting into a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed? To be engaged in a culture war doesn’t the other side have to have the semblance of culture?
JimBob: Y SO SERIUS PAULTARD?
AngryBlakGuy: Can you imagine her debating Barry (if he wins)??
Cogito Ergo Bibo: CAW!!1!!!
astroprofeddie: Drill. Baby. Drill. Palin family planning.
JimBob: WELCOME!!!!!!!!1!
A new day will bring new fears. I predict next time they’ll be beating the adrenaline drum against ovo-lacto vegetarians (if they say ‘vegan’ people will think they’re railing about space aliens—same problem I often have), science-fair moms, and people with “Imagine Whirled Peas” bumper stickers. Oh, and Canadians. Sarah will no doubt be leading the hate charge, decked out in Victorian splendor in her $40,000 ecru organdy dress with bustle stiffened by genuine baleen, her osprey-feather hat, and, well, same hair.
thetalltexan: The sissy slapfights are not a real war unless they’re fighting over Doogie Howser.
JimBob: Ya know, a true paultard would spend less time on wonkette and more time with their cachemy books trying to make a transmutation machine. The gold needed for a fully backed currency system won’t make itself.
Serolf Divad: rearley used? What a very Wonkette word.
Why is it that there are way more teen pregnancies in Red states?
Wab - I must say, guns are about the most beautifully-made things you can buy. That and Leicas and Spanish leather. Everything fits together perfectly and clicks so nicely and hefts. If guns were crappily made then there would be fewer gun ntuz.
They’ll show you. I hear Palin supporters across the country are planning a 36 hour prayerathon. They’re doing nothing but prayin’ for Palin. No phone banks, no GOTV, just the power of prayer. That’s the real power. You’ll see.
Does Rove consist of anything but goo?
Hit a baby er something.
In which sense of “hit”? Never mind, I’ll just do both.
IMHO if hopey does half of what he says he will, its not going to matter who the gop throws under barry’s bus. hopey will be re-elected, if its palin-tard the defeat will be much sweeter than if its somebody like mittens
nurple: Bandsaw boxes are pretty nice, too. You should see the way people cling to them when times get tough.
So long, Sarah, and thanks for all the fish.
But what if the god fearing gun owner to gay ration is the REASON for the economic crisis? I hear “God” works in incomprehensible ways.
So now what? The culture war is never going to turn into an actual war? I thought we were rpimed with a black President and everything. Culture war and race war, like peanut butter and chocolate. Super helter skelter. Now what am I supposed to do with this weapons cache and racial/class based flags?
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
Please please PLEASE somebody give this woman a reality show after the election. May the Palin Pile-On never end!
StephanieInCA: I hope they call the show Palintology.
Cogito Ergo Bibo: And she’s so pretty! Just ask Sarkozy!
Hahahaha4tehlulz: “Does this mean Lou Dobbs may be out of a job soon?” Oh, if only….
nurple: : If you were a culture warrior, you’d be a prissy grammar-snob about the subjunctive mood.
B-b-b-but if the culture war is over, what the hell am I gonna do with 50 Baby Fetus Jesus holding an Uzi Christmas ball ornaments I ordered from Jesus’ General?
Isn’t she raising the New Nazi Youth at her Alaskan compound?
There will always be ones like her. In 2012 it will be Joe the unemployed plumber,
WHO STILL HASN’T FIXED MY POOPED FILLED TOILET!!!!
JimBob: Allow me to present my idea for generating power from human feces. I shall term it ‘power poo’. It’s a craptacular concept.
Palin, the relentless and daring candidate, is at a rally tonight in Colorado Springs, home of Focus on the Family and other evangelical monstrosities. She couldn’t get better vibes back in Wasilla. Expect a hate speech that will rock the rightwing cathedrals.
Sarah Palin is an amazingly incompetent culture warrior and shouldn’t be taken as an indicator of anything. Except as an avatar of the Ice Clowns of Alaska.
sanantonerose: There’s always the Vatican.
Never before have I read an article before that I’ve wanted SO desperately to believe, but seen so much evidence to the contrary that I can’t help but chuckle mirthlessly. The “hippie socialist” argument will continue on forever, and Democrats will only be voted into office during a downturn in the economy.
Now that we’re finally winning the culture war, let’s make partial birth abortions mandatory. Just because.
Serolf Divad: I miss that too. Although my eternal bemusement at Gore Vidal’s pomposity was soured by his comment regarding Obama’s eloquence: “Slaves have a hard time making poetry,” he said, relishing the shock factor, “unless it’s got a beat.” Why, Gore, WHY did you have to go and be such an insensitive racist prick? You used to always make me titter!
here in Cali, my brother and I laugh at the stupid Gavin Newsom, pro-Proposition Homophobes ad, the one with him smirking and yelling “It’s gonna happen now, whether you like it or NOT!” The ad is classic wingnut, bitter-feed and will end up causing countless to vote in support of the constitutional ban. We now sarcastically use his words as shorthand joke to mean: Never underestimate the power of stupid. Just don’t do it.
The Pumpernickel: What if the Bradley effect is real, just slower acting than people think? Obama could be in real trouble by 2012.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Strange but true: the Vatican library has the biggest collection of porn on the planet.
Outstando: ‘Palin supporters across the country are planning a 36 hour prayerathon’
November 5, and it’s on to Phase 2: Yes, That’s Right, There Is No God. YES WE CAN’T!
Culture warriors never die. They just find new territory.
With so much being made of John McCain’s controversial selection of his VP, I have a theoretical for us all. What if McCain wins and then is not able to see out his full term, and Sarah Palin becomes US President - who would be her choice of Vice President? I humnbly offer the following probables, but all are welcome to contribute other suggestions -
a) Todd Palin
b) Bristol Palin
c) Hank Williams Jr
d) Tina Fey
e) George W Bush
f) selection would be the winner of a reality TV progam entitled “So You Think You Can Be In Charge Of The Senate”