Wonkette
For a few weeks after Obama won the nomination, the biggest story in politics was about the Hilltards — strangely fanatical middle-aged white women who would support the Republican candidate rather than the Democratic nominee, because, uh, the Democratic nominee had disrespected Hillary Clinton by, uhm, winning a political race against her. Also, he’s black. What happened to those people?
Were they just another speck on the radar of time that was inexplicably chosen by the national media as the cause du jour, much as the national media has inexplicably decided some creepy sunken-eyed bald wingnut serial liar unlicensed tradesman is the perfect embodiment of working-class Americans fooled into voting against their own economic interests?
They, these women, aligned under the banner of “PUMA,” which charmlessly stood for “Party Unity My Ass.” There were several dozen of them leaving idiot ALL CAPS comments on every political blog, so obviously there were 18 million of them, which is the number of votes Hillary accumulated in the primaries.
And with the selection of a right-wing whack job who was so anti-women that she gleefully charged Alaskan rape victims for the forensic tests required to prosecute the rapists, McCain was going to secure the votes of these 18 million Democratic primary voters — these special people who don’t vote based on their party or politics or personal beliefs or anything beyond the presence of a vagina somewhere on the ticket.
NOBAMA, EVAH!
Well, we found them, the NOBAMA gals. Here is their progress report:
We need to ask for your help. We’re putting together a canvassing trip into Ohio this coming weekend to bring what we hope will be about 70 DeMcCrats for McCain and Young Republican supporters into Ohio to canvass for McCain/Palin in the Buckeye state. We’re still short of what we need to rent buses for this trip, and cover the accommodations and costs for our volunteers while there. We’re also buying as many DeMcCrats for McCain and other McCain/Palin buttons and stickers to hand out in Ohio as we can. This is a bipartisan effort here in Chicago — and the biggest push we’ve ever made for canvassing. It’s a long ride from Illinois to Ohio, and the bus is expensive. We’ve all scraped together what we can, but need help covering the rest.
We’re putting everything we’ve got into this effort — there literally will be no Chirstmas presents for anyone we know this year because it’s all going to winning this election. We believe in McCain/Palin and think they are what’s best for America, so we’re doing all we can to win on November 4th. But, we do truly need your help.
As John McCain famously said, “Bitches ain’t shit.”
I think the NOBAMA group was merging with this other group, I forgot their name, to form a new group they were calling NOBLAMBLA.
Holy shit. Nobamites are the new Paultards. Not even enough money to rent a bus, huh?
Go Greyhound, PUMA CUNTs.
OH NO!!!
Wow, 70 canvassers just for Ohio.
BwaAHAHAAHahahaHAahahaahaAHahahaaa
Kool-aid lady better get started on those quarter BJs now. They aren’t obama…..their bus won’t run on hope.
Where da white women at?!
^ Above photo taken just moments before the Obama-Aid Man crashed through this woman’s living room wall, maiming her severely, while screaming “OH-BAMA..OH YEAH!!!!
DeMcCrats? That’s only 1 cc away from Demrats!! HEHNGHH?
He still be givin’ the bitters the jitters. No Xmas for u!
Looks like they need a name change.
Bitter Hopeless Racist Old Cunts (sorry ladies) against Barack.
Aka
BHROC against Barack.
Can’t wait for their mass suicide on Nov 5.
Are the polls undersampling fat old trannies who hate Kool-Aid? Cause maybe team McCain is right and the polls are wrong.
Blow me, PUMA’s.
If I’m not mistaken this woman is the owner, operator, and only member of HillaryIs44.
No but seriously, what a hambeast.
is that the kid from Jerry Maguire in that picture, Ken?
He looks like shit.
It looks like the old battle axe is in the same kitchen with Chucky Cheeze doin blow.
That would be some party.
What does George Costanza have against Kool-Aid?
I can’t believe they’re taking the bus. There could be scary Muslin Negroes on there!
…there literally will be no Chirstmas [sic] presents for anyone we know this year because it’s all going to winning this election
So you’re going to lose the election and ruin Christmas for your friends and family. How early in the morning do you get up to epic fail so hard, ladies? Kudos. Just save enough money for a bus trip to Mexico after NOBAMA is sworn in as 44.
Haaaaahaha.
Oh poor PUMAs, the best you’ll get from the McCain camp is the choice of wearing either a “CUNT” or “TROLLOP” name-tag. That’s it.
If they were hotter they’d at least be “cougars” for mccain…and then maybe
even cindy would welcome them as her sisters.
Why, what a bunch of dumb cunts…
They could probably have afforded this tripe better if they didn’t waste money printing up custom Obama Kool-Aid packets.
I meant to say “afforded this trip” but I feel the typo more accurately expresses my feelings on the matter.
so, is that package with hopey’s pic on it her abortion or something? I don’t get it.
I bet that koolaid tastes good.
Aww. I was missing the Pumatards!
Hey look! Bloody Obama!
http://www.dailybreeze.com/ci_10851853
Mmmmm… Cherry.. I mean Obama-juice flavored Kool-Aid. My Favorite!
No Christmas presents. Because after Obama is elected we will all be Muslin, teh jew, or just rich eliteists lighting our cigars with GODLESS MONIES!
We’re putting everything we’ve got into this effort — there literally will be no Chirstmas presents for anyone we know this year because it’s all going to winning this election.
Can we start a fund so we can send them a bunch of giant black dildos?
At least there won’t be any Christmas presents for anyone they know this year.
Did that PUMA lady accidentally dye her face with the kool-aid?
John McCain fucking stole Christmas.
Yayay! You posted my tip!
That picture is too perfect for words!
LOLZ
“DeMcCrats”
McRats?
Da McRats?
Maybe Duh McRats?
I wonder if the women for Hopey will dedicate this song to the PUMAs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDcy8ibgOTs&feature=related
Ugh, that picture. PUMAT, you mean? As in Product of an Unlikely Menage a Trois between Poindexter, Gary Spivey, and Benny Hill.
What I’d like to know is whatever happened to that little Three Amigos bugger who played flamenco guitar in Hillary’s back-up band during her “Pander Shamelessly To Hispanic Immigrants Tour.”
Come here a minute: Man, I need 100 ccs of booze, stat.
HILLARY/PALIN 2008!
“There literally will be…” Joe Biden’s a secret PUMA!!
TGY: The Obama “Campaign for Change” knocked on 370,000+ doors on Saturday of this past weekend, winning a competition against the PA staff by approx. 5,000 doors. So, yeah, these 70 retards ought to be enough to seal this one up for McCain.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA
You give up the right to even remotely call yourself a Democrat if you cooperate with the Young Brownshirts.
Fuck you PUMAs; fuck you in the ass and the mouth.
They’re trying to scrape together 70 soulless retards for this epic journey, and failing? There’s a force to be reckoned with. Sorry, no Christmas gifts this year kids, mommy’s a bitter sexless old hag.
My favorite kool-aid is purple.
It may be a winter with no Christmas for these bitterroots, but hey, it’s Spring time for Obama und Wonkette.
I don’t mean to be snarky, but wouldn’t a transgendered person WANT a democrat to win?
Schadenfried: I had the same thought–DemMcRats.
Aww poor Puma-biddies - we socialists don’t give US dollars to poor, dumb whites; that’s who Obama Food Stamps were created for…
Yaybuls: Above photo taken just moments before the Obama-Aid Man crashed through this woman’s living room wall, maiming her severely, while screaming “OH-BAMA..OH YEAH!!!!
Just so everyone read that again…
SayItWithWookies:
I had a momentary thought that that was Newman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newman_(Seinfeld)
grendel: I think you mean, “No Christmas for you this year, kitties“.
These poor white women just haven’t gone black yet. In time. They’ll warm up to the warm sparkle of Obama’s smile and healthcare plan.
Doglessliberal: ok, that link didn’t work
here
http://www.geocities.com/seinfeld_soundbites/newman1.jpg
That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
You wanna know where the bitters are? Just ask Laura Ingalls Wildest. I’m sure she has a GPS flow chart and knows the current whereabouts of ALL the Hilltards.
Both of ‘em.
They can’t afford the bus because they spent all their allowance on those ugly holiday-theme sweatshirts the bitters favor and the Virginia Slims they need to get them through the day.
Schadenfried: Oh damn, I was totally going to go there. My take DamnMcRats. Oh well, the crown is yours.
magic titty: Oh, too funny.
These sad old bags just aren’t going to be happy ever, about anything. Part of me feels very sorry for them and their disappointment, over what they probably believe might have lent some validation to their otherwise drab and meaningless lives. The other part of me thinks, “What a sorry bunch of unforgiving, mean-spirited battle-axes. Look what happens to women who go 96 years without a single orgasm.” On balance: BAH!
Marge there swings a helluva lathe.
Do all 70 of them stick together in a gang and take turns stepping up to the door and knocking? That would be awesome.
TGY: pfft, my friend and her daughter are like 1000 cancassers for Obama. Top that ye old bitches!
WendyK: I love how psychos back up their psycho behavior (read: hanging bloody effigies from their porches) with psycho justifications (read: “I don’t trust a man who wouldn’t be sworn in on the Bible”) that have been proven to be nothing be cyber lore. It renews one’s faith in Americans’ ability to be consistent.
Schadenfried: that’s a dynamic rhyme scheme there.
Daddy, why did gamma give us Jammakan stickers in our stockings for Christmas? Doesn’t she love us no more?
Sometimes, son, there comes a time when gammas need to go to a “special home”.
spencer: I would just love to send them something innocuous but annoying.
tiger: “I don’t mean to be snarky, but wouldn’t a transgendered person WANT a democrat to win?”
You do realize that they believe Obama is a MUSLIM and gays will be HANGED like in IRAN
McCain loves the gays and I think Palin was friends with one once before he went to re-education camp to burn the witch out of them.
Oh god, what is wrong with me. For a split second, I thought the term “DeMcCrats” was kind of funny. But on the plus side, that subsided, and was replaced by an urge to tYpE LyKe tHiS!!!!111
Condiments-Only Diet: There is some beautiful irony in hanging a bloody effigy from your porch because you wrongly perceive the subject of the effigy to have some aversion to the Bible. I’m just wondering how bad it will be once he gets elected. Mass suicide?
So these DumCuntRats got a bus? Is it one of those tard-cart busses?
Sometimes, son, there comes a time when gammas need to go to a “special home”.
Or an ice floe.
I HATE You Wonkette. This is the first time in my life that I’m speechless.
There is nothing I can snark that will top “no XMAS”, or the fact of handing out pins and stickers being the largest outreach done so far, etc. One of these moms MUST be “Mrs. Plumber” - gotta be.
As the PUMAs were boarding their bus, shots rained down from a hell e crapter. Yet another blunder by Palin.
Hell hath no fury, huh, you silly girls?
I consider myself a feminist but these bitter, screeching cows make me want to become a stipper and befriend Larry Flynt.
“Thats not your mother, that’s a MAN baby!” “WHY, WON’T, THIS, WIG, COME, OFF!”
How about that women who stated in the comments that she was going to bribe her Scrantonian priest relative to tell his congregation to vote Obama! That woman is totally going to Hell.
hahahahaha
I went to ohio from dc for the primary - that’s a much longer bus ride and we had 3 completely full buses, not to mention a number of people driving. there were i believe over 150 of us and the office we worked in knocked on over 25,000 doors that weekend. That was for a primary that didn’t even matter.
this is all they’ve got.
They’re even canceling christmas for this and they can’t match what we did in one weekend for a primary that didn’t matter. good job!
at what point do they give up? I can’t wait until they cancel next year’s christmas to continue campaigning against NOBAMA with 16 people.
When the Todd scandal first broke, HillBuzz went fucking crazy over the evil Negro attacking the Symbol of All That is Innocent and Pure. And when everyone with an iota of common sense was proven right, the post magically disappeared. But I’m sure those retards have forgotten about that.
Why does McCain hate Christmas?
PUMA = Please Usurp My Abortion rights
bitches all
Plus, that Kookaid is Red.
How many of these ‘short buses’ do they intend to rent? As long as they keep their bicycle helmets on and refrain from licking the windows, I see nothing that could possibly go wrong with this plan.
This insanity from that site is hilarious:
http://hillbuzz.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/americans-dont-vote-for-presidents-they-vote-for-cookies-and-the-first-ladies-who-bake-them-by-patricia-melton-and-the-mineral-city-coffee-club/
No Christmas?! How hard could it be to knit shapeless sweaters with too long sleeves and unappealing colors while you’re on the bus to failure?
I didn’t read the article, but I’m just gonna assume the old grey mare is threatening to make me drink Kool-Aid if I don’t go down on her.
Old redneck cunt!
Won’t someone throw momma from the train?
So, i’m thinkin the bus is going to have a sort of ammonia,old stale perfume and the pungent scent of a just opened can of chilli. In the quiet moments, soft wheezing and puffing as the bile rises.
Then the frantic search through a ratty overstuff handbag for a Tumms. A seat on that bus is sort of equivalent to 1000 years in the 3rd circle of Hell.
FunkyPalmettoBug: damn, that woman can type. There’s like 2k words all strung together nonsense style.
No worries. They are quick to anger, hold grudges for a very long time, but as far as I know, the Yeti does not have the right to vote in the United States. Also, I’m fairly sure they erratic drivers, so this coming weekend, anyone between Illinois and Ohio should just stay off the streets.
Well, there’s still this idiotic blog, which as you can see by the URL of the deleted post likes to screech about how Obama is the anti-Christ every time one of his supporters doesn’t say “Bless you” to someone sneezing next to them on the bus; then pull the post, whistle innocently and pretend they never wrote it after the sneezer turns out to be a McCain plant and they’ve gotten about 50 kajillion scathing comments.
Can’t fool me, they are really going to Ohio to try and hook up with Joe the Plumber. It’s a good thing they are leaving Chicago, they would be the first one the brothers will look for on November 5th.
We really have to thank Hillary for the gift that is Sarah Palin. If she hadn’t dangled these poor pathetic loser women out there, McCain might never have gotten the idea that 18 million Democratic votes were up for grabs if he picked some chick.
FunkyPalmettoBug: I am so confused…is she for real? There’s a post where she talks about her daughter’s Rick Astley phase…that can’t be real, can it? Is this some elaborate and wordy RickRoll?
4tehlulz: Don’t worry. She’s no Democrat. Never was. Just some sour biddie at the office who no one ever liked who found this as her “calling” until the election’s over then it’s on to some other crap.
Cougar, Puma; what other names of large predatory cats can we ascribe to middle aged women? Can “Liger” be next?
When they get to Ohio they’ll see that there are a lot of lawn signs for McCain, many for Obama, but the leading candidate according to the lawn signs appears to be “For Sale by Bank.”
Palin, has the Fat Bitch Hilliary Votes and that just might sink me.
Uh oh, here comes the bus! I smell vinegar, albacore tuna, other negative vaginal smell references… !
Roxie Beaver: i, uh, don’t think any of them are of an age where abortion would be an issue any more.
These are certainly not the first Americans the Republicans have convinced to vote utterly in opposition to their self interest, and they certainly, sadly enough, won’t be the last.
Aye! Cultism is bad. Bad, I tell you! I makes you irrational. If you find your self identity getting wrapped up in some public person’s (or team’s) fate, time to beat yourself over the head with a dead llama until you come to your senses. For your own good and the good of the rest of us. Please!
FunkyPalmettoBug: That’s a spoof, right?
Right?
….please?
In case anyone is interested, a motor coach from Chicago to Columbus will run about $2300. It seats 47. Figure 2 of them so $4600. Put it on a credit card, lady.
Neon Trotsky: TIGON!
From their blog, here are the words of a person who clearly understands all of the factors that have led Murrkans to support our HOPEY:
“Unlike his followers, we’ve been to church and knows what a good preacher sounds like — and kids, we’ve got to tell you, if you go weak in the knees listening to Obama, you would have spontaneously combusted hearing Billy Graham back in the day.”
Well, fuck it. Crazy Cat Lady ™ has convinced me. I am now ready to support Billy Graham for preznit. Because I go weak in the knees…strong in the loins…and loco in la cabeza!
Why don’t these retard bitches just rent a few short yellow school buses?
magic titty: **ROFFLES***
el_chupacabra: “Thug Misses” in in the tank for Obama.
So, OK, Ken, why do I have a “W” carved in my face? There was this pretty, older white gal, outside the ATM. I was surprised at how fast it all happened. She had me down and seemed ecstatic, while all my thought-processes were crowded out by exploding starbursts in the area of her mouth. And then, as she was shouting “JEE-slurp-US huff huff slurp”, her eyes must have landed on my Obama sticker.
She was pierced, uhh, down there. Good penmanship, for an older gal. Good, but painful, penmanship.
Don’t believe me? Ask any of the guys in line behind me. All the ones with “W”’s on their faces.
1
Half a block, Half a block,
Half a block onward,
All through the front yards of Ohio
Trudged the seventy
“Forward, the PUMA parade!
Careful with that first step”, she said:
Into the Valley of the Swing Vote
Lurched the Seventy
2
“Forward, the PUMA parade!”
Was any old biddy dismayed?
Not a one of them would ever admit
That their Depends had sundered
Theirs not to let things lie
Theirs not to even try
Theirs just to whine and cry
Across each new mowed-lawn
Stumbled less than a hundred
3
Obama to right of them
Obama to left of them
Obama in front of them
Smiling and grinning
Incens’d and mad as hell
They let out a ragged yell
On each front porch, waving canes
Jabbing at the doorbell
Determin’d to take the last inning.
4
When can their anger fade?
O the wild charges that they made
But nobody answered the door
Those biddies, true and tried
Pawned their dentures for that ride-
Quoth the PUMA, nevermore.
“We’re putting everything we’ve got into this effort — there literally will be no Chirstmas presents for anyone we know this year because it’s all going to winning this election.”
Nice. I can hear it now. Sorry kids, all we got you for Christmas was a failed attempt to throw the election. But don’t worry, gifts are just socialist redistribution anyway.