Wonkette
Has there ever been a more wonderful pre-election story than the McCain-Palin war? It’s like Christmas, Halloween and 9/11 combined, times a trillion, and sometimes it seems too fantastic to be real. Is the GOP ticket truly having a public war over which candidate doomed the Republicans? And do we really get daily updates from the Mainstream Media and Conservative Columnists? Yes, to everything! Today, Roger Simon of the Politico and George Will of the Washington Post hit McCain-Palin when they’re down.
Simon’s column is hilarious because it a) brings together a lot of nifty little trivialities from the McCain-Palin war that add up to an incredible clusterfuck, and b) because there is a funny joke about opinion columnists being psychopaths. Look!
It’s not like he was rushed. McCain wrapped up the Republican nomination in early March. He didn’t announce his choice for a running mate until late August.
Wasn’t that enough time for McCain to get to know Palin? Wasn’t that enough time for his crackerjack “vetters” to investigate Palin’s strengths and weaknesses, check through records and published accounts, talk to a few people, and learn that she was not only a diva but a whack job diva?
But McCain picked her anyway. He wanted to close the “enthusiasm gap” between himself and Barack Obama. He wanted to inject a little adrenaline into the Republican National Convention. He wanted to goose up the Republican base.
And so he chose Palin. Is she really a diva and a whack job? Could be. There are quite a few in politics. (And a few in journalism, too, though in journalism they are called “columnists.”)
Such a card, that Roger Simon.
Now, let’s go to the epitome (French for “clitoris”) of what the Palin-loving racist dingbat uneducated diabetic trash hate most about America: George Will, the smug elitist famous conservative columnist and author. Will is so full of hate for these people, nowadays, that he’s basically encouraging these klansters to drive off a cliff and take what’s left of the Republican party with them. “John the Careless” is the headline for this one:
From the invasion of Iraq to the selection of Sarah Palin, carelessness has characterized recent episodes of faux conservatism. Tuesday’s probable repudiation of the Republican Party will punish characteristics displayed in the campaign’s closing days.
Some polls show that Palin has become an even heavier weight in John McCain’s saddle than his association with George W. Bush. Did McCain, who seems to think that Palin’s never having attended a “Georgetown cocktail party” is sufficient qualification for the vice presidency, lift an eyebrow when she said that vice presidents “are in charge of the United States Senate”?
And then Will dumps on Dick Cheney for a while, because why not, and then he uses a bunch of his “facts” from “history” to illustrate the points, etc., and then he calls McCain even stupider than Palin:
Palin may be an inveterate simplifier; McCain has a history of reducing controversies to cartoons. A Republican financial expert recalls attending a dinner with McCain for the purpose of discussing with him domestic and international financial complexities that clearly did not fascinate the senator. As the dinner ended, McCain’s question for his briefer was: “So, who is the villain?”
Ugh.
John the Careless [Washington Post]
McCain Camp Trying To Scapegoat Palin [Politico]
Republicans are wishing George Will would fucking stick to baseball right now.
Halloween and Christmas hybrid, like this?
http://failblog.org/2008/10/30/seasonal-fail/
Sorry for posting this twice, but can’t we just please have a nice long discussion of the relative merits of autarchy?
Who Pooped in the Ballot Box?
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-128190
RICK DAVIS!
RICK DAVIS! Why doesn’t anyone talk about Rick mothafuckin’ Davis. It is so obviously his fault.
Gawd I hate the media.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Please sweet JESUS let WALNUTS! call Bible Spice the C-word before this is all over. Please. Oh please.
I really do look forward to every Repub feeling the fear and dread that I felt after Reagan won in a landslide.
And the briefer replied: “You’re the villain, retard.” And they lived happily ever after.
“crackerjack”? Is Roger Simon being racist towards Walnuts A-team?
Wow. The social conservatives and prissy pants in the 1950s were right. Comic books are destroying the “real” America.
If I had to make Walnuts a comic book character, it would be the Incredible Hulk. Short on thought, quick on rage plus all that “Hulk Smash Hulk Bash” ranting everything except the green skin.
Oh, darling… An “inveterate simplifier”? Do us all a favor and grow a pair so that you can at least call her an inveterate *over*-simplifier if you must, although thinking people everywhere would probably prefer just plain “lying Evita-wannabe.”
It’s like Ben Kenobi said: Who’s more foolish, the fool or the fool who chooses her as his running mate?
I read the Will column this morning and was stunned. I knew that Will hated the religious right, but dang he took a FLAMETHROWER to them today.
I hope Will and Olbermann are making out and bonding over baseball in the tank!
Haha, may the two of them spend the next 5 AND A HALF YEARS together, locked in a Nieman Marcus tanning bed, in South Ossetia, forced to watch (Clockwork Orange-style) Todd and Cindy go at it like same-sex hogs.
Happy dance!!
Texan Bulldoggette: No, he is channeling his inner George Will. Talking about baseball snacks.
Why are the fucking polls so slow in flashing all over 538 and TPM today with good news about Hopey?
Have ‘tightening’ numbers brought about a Barry sad?
I don’t care. Just give me my polling data, mother fuckers!
I can take it! (I think)
ManchuCandidate: The makeup covers up the green skin.
NoWireHangers:
Make it on TV please.
George Will has been in the tank since Bible Spice first reared her head. After all, Obama may be a communist rabble-rouser, but at least he’s a Harvard man.
I’m not exactly sure when the Republican party turned into an Oedipal nightmare (although I suspect it has something to do with all the second-generation wingnuts like William “Song of Irving” Kristol and Jonah “Son of Lucianne” Golberg), but if McCain tries to sever their parasitic attachment to Mommy, they will destroy him.
TheRealJimbo:
Don’t hold your breath, jimmy. These fucktards don’t feel emotion.
They’ll just get up off the floor and dust themselves off, just as if they were some maudlin convict committing anal rape for the third time that morning, and act like nothing ever happened.
This is cool as far as it goes, Kenny Boy, but only involves one chick and a wizened old Viagara popper, and I ain’t talking Hef. I want to see the bitch fight between Tina Browna and Arianna Huffingtonmyass start with slapping, hair pulling, and then end in a late night Showtime movie.
blinky_twinkie: WIN
StripesAndPlaids: Yeah, that was about the most sarcastic and snide Will column ever. But of course he writes like a Henry James wannabe, so I was wondering if anyone was gonna notice.
Remember after the 2006 elections when Rush went on a rant about how he doesn’t have to carry water for “fake Republicans” anymore? There’s going to be a lot of that on November fifth. Of course it’ll cause people to wonder why they were doing it in the first place if they disliked it so much. I wonder if any of them will be honest and own up to being a big sissy because they were afraid of never being invited to a golf game with Roger Ailes ever again.
NoWireHangers:
Done! Fer SURE!
-SP
blinky_twinkie:
I read that as “invertebrate simpleton”, which works also, when you think of it.
Looking at those two clowns in the photo, it dawns on me: they appeal to people because they seem just like EVERY OTHER loveless couple in the country. But it’ll work out..right?
Did I mention my prediction that the Republican party will split into two? Prolly the ‘Republic’ and the ‘Cans’.
Welcome to the Thunderdome! Two hacks, hand-to-hand, no jury, no appear, no parol. Two hacks enter, one hack leaves…
The thing that disgusts me the most about WALNUTS! these days is that he dares to suggest that any of this is Palin’s fault. Stupid is as stupid does. He was in charge and he signed off on the decisions that doomed his campaign. It’s all on you WALNUTS! And your inability to accept that is why you would make a horrible president.
it is so difficult to win when your base consists of loons.
user-of-owls: i can’t at the moment afford enough weed to entertain a long discussion of autarchy.
Can we at least have a discussion of copy editor autarchy led by Nicolle Wallace?!!!111!!!
USA!!!
shortsshortsshorts: Im with that. Take down RICK THE DICK. You know that slimy mothafuckah is the wizard behind the curtain.
This revenge porn - so wonderful.
Who or what is gonna save you now, GOP? Your “Architect” and his “permanent Republican majority?” All that political capital W. earned and intended to spend as is his style? Ha! In the words of your soon to be late, great, worst-president-in-American-history, “Let’s roll.”
shortsshortsshorts: I used to think so too, but the more I read, I think Steve Schmidt might be the one most responsible.
hockeymom: I too thought it said “invertebrate”.
God it is so awesome to watch the Republicans destroy each other. I though that was strictly a Democrat activity.
can’t decide which is a better analysis: will and simon, or these two
http://www.sitemason.com/newspub/fQKJvW?id=60147
Christ! It’s a soap opera and Star Trek convention in one.
It seems like none of McCain/Palin desparate ploys are gaining any traction so why has McCain picked up nearly 2 points on http://www.intrade.com? Granted, Hopey still has a commanding lead (Intrade puts his chance of winning at over 80%) but the contract price movement over the last 48 hours is curious.
Godot: I hate George Will for making me read carefully. In the future, all of his columns should be limericks.
blinky_twinkie: And speaking of Evita Palin, this is pretty funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh9BmNuqeiQ
I’m thinking that McCain hates those “Georgetown cocktail parties” because he’s often the only guy there who has an underdeveloped sarcasm area in his brain. Can’t you just envision all the times he didn’t get the jokes, threw his glass against the wall and stormed out with everyone snickering at him? I can, and I’ve never even been to Georgetown.
Every time Tracy Flick gets involved with an older guy, the guy winds up regretting it.
Norbert: just for a moment, ignore the teats on the bottom one…
funkyj: Because of Peter Frampton being an Obama supporter–this almost made me get out of the Hopey Tank but the chicks is easier here than in Nicolle Wallace-land:
Rocker Peter Frampton is wishing someone would show him the way to keep his Barack Obama yard signs from getting swiped.
The Grammy winner is complaining that signs showing his preference for the Democratic presidential candidate have been stolen repeatedly at his home in the upscale and predominantly Republican Cincinnati suburb of Indian Hill.
Frampton, 58, is so angry, he called The Cincinnati Enquirer asking to be interviewed.
The British-born singer of “Show Me the Way” and other hits told the newspaper that one reason he became a U.S. citizen was so he could vote. Now, he says his American rights to free speech and Other Entertainment Photos
Beatles music to be in new video game
100
political speech are being violated and it “bugs” him.
Frampton said he has installed a video camera to catch the thieves.
——
I heard that “praline” was French for clitoris.
Who can mangle the English language better: Sarah Palin or Jack the Ripper. You decide:
“I’m not doing this for naught.” Sarah P–
“The Juwes are the men that will not be blamed for nothing.”–Jack the Ripper
condour75: The fools who choose the fool who chose the fool as his running mate.
I thought Will was going to compare Palin to Jodie Foster’s “Nell” and “Te Tay Ina Win”.
My great grandfather emigrated from Britain the year Jack The Ripper disappeared. Coincidence? Ask me. Just ask me!
George F. Won’t vote McCain. Is Bill Safire still alive, ‘cos if so, the old, fat, white didactic blowhard contingent is breakin’ Hopey!!
TGY: I, for one, would welcome any overlords from the ‘Cans’ party…
(that is, as long as they aren’t from Alaska)
So, does Palin, the “other” one, speak eskimonics, alonics, trigonomics, or (my personal favorite) ‘tardish?
An “inveterate simplifier?” Are we sure it isn’t “invertebrate simp lifer”?
French for clitoris? I laugh. Hard.
Photo looks like the double-fisting scene from the “Nailin’” sequel, “Paylin Doubleteamed”
So McCain goes back to the Senate after the election. Here’s a way to get him to vote for every piece of Democratic legislation that comes up. For every bill that the Democrats want passed, attach an amendment designed to screw Alaska.
McCain can’t even keep track of Joe the Plumber:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/10/30/joe-the-plumber-missing-at-mccain-event/
McCain trusted her to vet herself and she failed him. Now she gets sacrificed on an altar to save McCain’s maverickyness and judgment.
http://thesebastards.blogspot.com/
funkyj: If McCain’s numbers are up, I bet it’s short-covering.
Lordy, I *asked* for more Repugnican fail, I *got* more Repugnican fail. O, Fail-A-Palooza Overlord, thankyew thankyew thankyew.
Rats always desert a sinking ship but they usually don’t stop to ask *why* it’s sinking. They will chew each others nuts off to be the first to escape, though.
The rice is tightening people. Why aren’t you paying attention to walnuts? It’s tightening Heeeeehgnnnnnhhhhhhh waaa cunts
Why does George Will hate potato chips?
TheRealJimbo: MEEEEEEEEEEEE TOO!
The whole implosion of the McGramps/Bible Spice campaing reminds me of the movie “The Day of the Locust”. The only difference is Palin’s not as cross-eyed as Karen Black.
OffTheRecord: Last big one included an assassination. (President Garfield).
Sarah is the poisonous, China-milk-chocolate center of the GOP follypop.
lick lick lick… ick
Sussemilch: Ah, you mean she’s the canker on the butt of the GOP. Possibly the dingleberry, but I suppose we shouldn’t split hairs or whatever.
condour75: Yup. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy…
…than in the Republican Party.
dippinkind: Guess you’ll have to settle for pooping in the cat box.
magic titty: Try pollyvote.com - http://www.forecastingprinciples.com/PollyVote/index.php/pollyelectoral.html
Actually, this is turning into a great election. We get not only real, genuine Freude, but also Schadenfreude, which will get really, really good after the election. Good times.
memzilla: The Iowa Electronic Market is also showing a similar 2 point drop this week, it’s down from a previous high trade of $88 earlier this week:
http://iemweb.biz.uiowa.edu/graphs/graph_Pres08_WTA.cfm
http://iemweb.biz.uiowa.edu/quotes/Pres08_quotes.html
Given that Intrade for a short period was trading almost ten bucks below the IEM about a month back, due to one McCain trader making a huge bet on Intrade, I take it as a good sign that both markets are trading in near tandem now.
I’m inclined to agree that it’s just short covering that we’re seeing in both market and I’d be a lot more concerned if it was in the $60/$40 range at this stage of the game with a little over 100 odd hours to go before people start puling levers on Tuesday.
Not_So_Much: Baseball fans are wishing he’d stick to politics.
funkyj: InTrade is an exact mirror of the national polls. People act like the folks placing bets at InTrade are privy to some hidden secrets of politics, but they aren’t. The national polls are getting a bit tighter, so InTrade is getting a bit closer. Regardless of what happens between now and then, nobody is really forecasting anything more than a 3-4 point spread. Bush’s 2004 victory, while seen in hindsight as a complete destruction of Kerry, was like 51-49. So it’s actually surprising that Obama’s margin in InTrade is so high.
The truth of the matter is that Walnuts needs to win PA and then a few others in which he is currently behind. If it is 6pm EST and Obama has won VA and PA, you can go to bed drunk and happy because the election is over, the end.
Sarah isn’t doing this for “naught”. She doing this for WAL-”naught”.
Why the use of “diabetic” in the phrase “Palin-loving racist dingbat uneducated diabetic trash”? I hope that was a typo and not an insinuation that a serious, life-threatening disease represents some sort of character flaw.
eekthecat: Replace “diabetic” with “fat ass couch potato”
funkyj: Words that make me nervous - “internal numbers”; “internal polling”; “tightening internal numbers”; “tightening internal polling”. These are scary code words the GOP uses to cover their crimes me thinks.
And now for something completely different. Copenhagen is ablaze with storm troopers at war with squatters. Tear gas, fire balls, breakage and throwing of all things in sight. A foreshadowing, trial run for us lazy ass Amurkins??
http://www.welt.de/english-news/article2646481/15-arrests-in-Copenhagen-after-squatters-evicted.html
And the Danes are the happiest people alive.
http://www.visitcopenhagen.com/content/press/latest_news/newsarchive/danes_are_the_happiest_people_in_the_world
eekthecat: Yeah, I read “diabetic” to mean “smokes while ingesting fried dough by the pound with a side of fries and mayo and a fried Snickers chaser”
So in a nutshell, S/Sarah Palin threw McCain’s bus under the bus. And he’s now waiting for the Alaskan asp to strike at his breast.
NoWireHangers: Leadership begins at the top. He learned all he now knows about it from G.W., and not a shred from his father or grandfather.
Type 1 diabetes, or juvenile diabetes, does not result from lazyness or overeating. In type I, which is often inherited, the body does not produce insulin. Complications, other than potential death can include: cardiovascular disease, blindness, neuropathy and kidney damage. Ignorance about the different forms of diabetes has led to discrimination against diabetics and a shortfall in funding to find a cure. We need to be careful about what words we sling around in a dergoatory manner while calling out others as bigoted, uneducated or hateful. Thanks.
It’s as simple as this, they fucked already! Cindy knows that why the campaign so fucked up….. must have been an orgy.
Must. try. to. reach bathro….barf!
slappypaddy: I mean of course G.W.B., aka Smirky Monkey.
StripesAndPlaids: Are those Whitman and Beethoven on the wall behind her? And who’s the third?
What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her pussy?
Not everything coming out of her pussy is retarded!
Constitutional Riots:
So wait…attacking our secessionistic libertarian enclave (Alaska) will make us deliriously happy and deeply satisfied with our lives? I’ll get my pitchfork, you bring the torches!
I’ve always found it paradoxical that zombies do not try to eat each other’s brains. Just a thought.
S.Luggo: Good point, though I might appreciate it more if a zombie had not already eaten my brains.
ReaganKnew: well, three out of four ain’t bad
S.Luggo: Repugs have no brains.
eekthecat: oh jesus christ, somebody wants to be banned.
TheRealJimbo: Yep, agreed…