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8:16 PM on Tue October 28 2008
By Ken Layne
3819 Views

  1. Rev. Peter Lemonjello says at 8:25 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Please tell me you were invited to CNN again. $100 to the first ed who toe-taps in the bathroom next to AC.

  2. Dr. Zoidberg says at 8:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Yeah, but you won’t come all the way to Wyoming….why all the hate for Wyoming?

  3. problemwithcaring says at 8:28 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Oooh I was gonna have one in Culver City, but I guess I will wait to see if there are some sexy fancy goings-on in my neck of the woods. Free booze works better for me…

  4. Special Agent Jack Mehoff says at 8:28 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Omg omg omg. I need to find some whores.

  5. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:30 pm, October 28th, 2008

    …anyone need a token snarky black guy for an election party? I work for cheap; only 1 bottle of vodka(rates vary upon quality of vodka).

  6. Is it true that Barry has booked the Grand Canyon to hold his election night address & party, while McCain will be doing his thing in a trailer park outside of Chloride, Arizona (strict BYOB rule)?

  7. StripesAndPlaids says at 8:31 pm, October 28th, 2008

    No parties for me. I’ll be sitting at home with the blinds drawn, my nebulizer, shotgun and half-gallon of cheap brown liquor at my side.

  8. Prav duh says at 8:31 pm, October 28th, 2008

    What happened to Ann Marie? I used to like her and thought she was very astute.

    Lately, she sounds just like an idiot FAUX Bot. Has the tireswinging become so overwhelming that it ate her brain?

    She has always seemed like a realistic and her comments were grounded in facts; now she’s just another air head.

    Please, give us the old Ann Marie back.

    Thanks.

  9. burton judson says at 8:34 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I thought we were going to convene in the District for Jim’s Race-Riot thingy. What gives?

  10. AngryBlakGuy says at 8:35 pm, October 28th, 2008

    wheelie: …well I heard he was renting out the entire country of Brazil, for a “Carnival” styled post election party?!

  11. bitchincamaro says at 8:36 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I’m driving 600 miles to my ancient mother’s house in Detroit so as to protect her from the white-tux, top hat wearing marauders, when they ULTIMATE FAIL. Who’s with me?

  12. burton judson says at 8:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Prav duh: Oh be more Generous. Don’t you know that Radar just folded? And isn’t her name Ana not Ann? And didn’t she stop working here like twelve years ago?

  13. Dr. Zoidberg says at 8:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    wheelie: No, no - he’s booked the Milky Way for his speech. Get there early; parking’s a bitch.

  14. Dr. Zoidberg says at 8:38 pm, October 28th, 2008

    bitchincamaro: I’ll go with you. I’ll bring my cats - we can always throw them at the marauders.

  15. G. Friday says at 8:38 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Deerhunter, Times New Viking at the Black Cat (Black Cat). No televisions that I’m aware of.

  16. No fuckin’ way I want you negro lovin’ socialist, pant-suit wearin’, Noonan blingee, reverse Pittsburgh “B”, plumber hatin, “gotcha” internets in my house.

    “Igor, release the hounds”

  17. Deepthroat says at 8:40 pm, October 28th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: can you dress as a cop and bring your own music?

  18. regisgoat says at 8:41 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Bitter middle-aged tattooed drunks, one mated pair, available to tell rambling stories of how much better the music was 20 years ago. In Richmond, California, but can travel.

  19. Prav duh says at 8:43 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Mr. Judson,

    Sorry about the name error. It’s the internet NOIDS.

    Did Radar fold because of the red headed air head?

    I thought she was with Time, was her head finally extracted from McCain’s butt?

    Twelve years? Okay, if you say so.

    Is that you, ANA Marie?

    Hugs.

  20. LittlePinky82 says at 8:44 pm, October 28th, 2008

    wheelie: That really would be neat. The Grand Canyon is so pretty!

  21. regisgoat:

    Hot for Teacher???

  22. OkieHookerinEngland says at 8:45 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Special Agent Jack Mehoff: May I be of service?

  23. loquaciousmusic says at 8:45 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I shall be hosting a party in elitist CONNECTICUT, but all of you regulars will have to wait until THURSDAY to get the information that you so desperately need in order to attend it.

    Phtfbfpt.

  24. you cannot be serious says at 8:45 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Not to be all elitist and everything, but I’m going to be in Paris sitting in a hotel lobby bar asking the garcon to please turn les teevee to CNN. Anyone want to join me?

  25. OkieHookerinEngland says at 8:47 pm, October 28th, 2008

    you cannot be serious: Will any of that there fromage be involved?

  26. Prav duh says at 8:47 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Mr. Burton,

    I will try to be more generous. Thank you, you’re right.

    Did Radar fail because of “she who has the sign of Satan atop her pretty head”?

    The name thing, I was wrong.

    I thought she was at Time. Did she disappear up McCain’s butt?

  27. Speed Ball says at 8:47 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Prav duh: If by “realistic” you mean “more ass-fucking”, then yes, I miss that too. She used to be the head editor, and then became editor ereritus, which is Latin for “You’re a Butt Plug”.

    But generally please don’t diss on AMC. There she is, top left, on the banner… smiling scandalously and perpetually, SO YOU CAN COMMENT HERE.

  28. spontaneousabortion says at 8:48 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Please oh please Allah, let there be somewhere to smoke and drink in Portland, OR.

  29. loquaciousmusic:

    I’m a CT local. Please share…

  30. AngryBlakGuy: World’s greatest block party!

    (I know you are just thinking of lots of Brazilian girls, by the way. Still, a good plan.)

  31. you cannot be serious says at 8:51 pm, October 28th, 2008

    OkieHookerinEngland: oui, mon cher Hooker. And freedom fries. Avec mayonnaise.

  32. rocktonsammy says at 8:53 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I’ll packing, there will be tons of jobs in Alaska.

    After Levi fires me, I can puddle jump to Russia,

    I want to be on the winning side JUST ONCE!

  33. Prav duh says at 8:53 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Speed Ball: Didn’t know this was a “free speech free zone.” LOL

    Seriously, what really happened? Did some pod from a Republican planet take her soul?

    Used to love her, just asking.

    Thank for your kind reply.

  34. wade williams says at 8:55 pm, October 28th, 2008

    i need to keep a low profile…i live in a very red neighborhood which may erupt in violent hate when they find out a muslim terrorist is coming to eat their children!

  35. HuskyMescan says at 8:55 pm, October 28th, 2008

    My bathhouse is having a buttseks party, and I’m the only one invited.
    :(
    :)

  36. I miss Sister Truth.

    But then, I’m insane.

    And more heavily armed than Elridge and Huey.

    It’s a bad combination.

    problemwithcaring: Culver City? Gee, that’s close . . . .

  37. you cannot be serious: Getting an early start on the expat thing in case McPalois wins? I hope you brought your Hermes typewriter and a bottle of Maker’s Mark. Great conversation starters in Paris, both of ‘em.

  38. Lascauxcaveman says at 9:05 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Why, Ken. I thought you’d never ask!

    Here’s the invite my teacher wifey and I are sending out to her emailing list:

    Election Night Returns Party For Port Angeles Area Educators, at the Downtown Hotel, right in the heart of (you guessed it) downtown Port Angeles. Come and drop in anytime after 4:30pm, party goes ’til whenever.

    The hosts are providing a salad bar, couple cases of wine and beer and some pizzas. This is a semi-pot-luck event so bring anything else you’d like to have on hand to eat/drink, or bring nothing at all. Elitist Liberals should bring white wine and arugula, Hard Core Conservatives are encouraged to bring red meat. Guys named Joe should bring a six-pack (or be an unemployed plumber). Call or email us at the hotel if you need directions or more info.

    http://portangelesdowntownhotel.com/ .

    We’re having the party in the lobby and the largest guest room, since it’s the slow season for little tourist hotels in our town. Like the invite says, this is mostly for teachers, but Wonkettes in the Port Angeles area are certainly welcome too! I’ll be the one in the shirt with the hotel logo on it, ’cause I’m the boss.

  39. bitchincamaro says at 9:08 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Dr. Zoidberg: Fair warning: will have to drive through PA and OH !

  40. InsidiousTuna says at 9:08 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Anyone in Waco? No? No takers?

    Fuck Central Texas.

  41. LittlePinky82 says at 9:08 pm, October 28th, 2008

    bitchincamaro: Are you going to have free all you can eat pizza?

  42. Viva la Cynthia says at 9:10 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Can we get a thread for fun election par-tay ideas? In 2004, I had Pin-the-Brain-on-the-Bush, but I’m not sure what kinds of games I can have this time…

  43. I’m going to Cincinnati, where I know nobody, to be a lawyer for Barry. So, when the polls close I will find a bar in a liberal part of town and drink myself silly with strangers. I cannot fucking wait.

  44. OkieHookerinEngland says at 9:14 pm, October 28th, 2008

    you cannot be serious: Oh, how I do those relentless Pepe LePew Frenchmen…

  45. O and I hereby invite all wonketteers to watch me drink myself silly at a bar somewhere in Cinci at some time after the polls close. See you there!

  46. Deepthroat says at 9:16 pm, October 28th, 2008

    feel free to come on down to good ‘ol Harrisburg, PA. The non-racist Burg.

  47. mc_frontalot says at 9:17 pm, October 28th, 2008

    We’re on tour for vote day, so we’re having an elections return party as part of our nerdcore hip-hop performance at Mexicali Live in Teaneck NJ. Audience members will hear race returns from the stage, win worthless candidate-related crap, play Obama Takes A State Bingo, and run for incredibly local offices such as Deputy Minister Of Buying The Band Another Round.

    It’ll be a flag-wavin’ good time for all. Ten bucks advance, twelve at the door, which opens (we think) around 8p. See http://frontalot.com for who we are if you have somehow been sheltered from the nerdcore thus far.

    I will make out a Certificate Of Awesomeness in the name of anyone who tells me they are a Wonkette reader (come see me at the merch table).

  48. Deepthroat:

    I spent a month in Highspire one night.

  49. shortsshortsshorts says at 9:21 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Ken Layne: you are required to come up to SF and attend my secksie party.

  50. InsidiousTuna says at 9:21 pm, October 28th, 2008

    mc_frontalot: Holy shit, MC Frontalot is a Wonketteer? Haha, holy shit. Kickass.

  51. I’ll be in Nashville, which might be ground-zero for the impending race war.

    Come, but you might wanna come armed.

  52. Johnny Zhivago says at 9:23 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Definitely spending THAT night in the bunker!

  53. InsidiousTuna says at 9:24 pm, October 28th, 2008

    InsidiousTuna: I said “holy shit” twice, because I like repetition, evidenced by the fact that I said “holy shit” twice.

    Also,I interned this past summer for the Department of Redundancy Department last summer.

  54. sweetits says at 9:25 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Neilist: Maybe Sister Truth will post her party and you both can make up. I am sure she misses you tons. Of course the comments you shared on Wonkette also cause me to fear the someone would get hurt.

  55. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 9:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I took November 5th off, since I plan to be 5 AND A HALF sheets to the wind regardless of the outcome. Speaking of which… anybody in for a suicide pact in the unlikely and somewhat
    soul-crushing event of a McCain/Palin upset?

  56. Deepthroat says at 9:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Rush: i’m sorry.

  57. rubybuckaroo says at 9:27 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I better not go anywhere near an ocean.
    I will cry so many tears of relief that finally, these 8 years of a nightmare are finally over, that I might raise the sea level.
    Any drought stricken areas offering parties?

  58. Viva la Cynthia: Church burning? It’s not really a game, more of an activity, but still fun. Or an abortion competition. Break out the calculators!

  59. Hopey dont play that game says at 9:29 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I’m having a party– In my pants!
    Too juvenile? Too Elitist? Too Jewish?

  60. AnglRdr: Ha! That’s where I’m leaving for Cinci from. An idea: find a douchebag republican Vandy bar (shouldn’t be hard) and point and laugh at the sad, sad fratboys. Don’t forget the black power salute whenever they call a state for Hopey.

  61. lazyb: wonketteers? is that official? or is wonketti? wonkettes? wonkerati?

  62. I’ll do some shopping for the party. Here is the list thus far:

    Socialist Buttery Spread
    Plumber’s Helper
    Noonan Elegant Cookies
    Blingee Beer
    Murtha’s Black Licorice
    Palin Disposable Dip
    Angry “the” Black’s Snark Spice

    Missing anything??

  63. Internally valid says at 9:38 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I’m going to this party in a park here in Chicago. I dunno, supposed to be cool or something. Some famous muslin celebrity is supposed to show up and give a speech or some-such.

    Anyone else going to that?

  64. OffTheRecord says at 9:39 pm, October 28th, 2008

    You elitist liberals with your fancy gay abortion orgy parties. I hate you all. Those of us in the red states will be hunkered down in our homes with our automatic weapons and cheap alcohol just trying to survive the troubles.

    Oh who the fuck am I kidding. If Mitch McConnell loses I am running through the streets screaming with joy and excitement…..with my automatic weapon and cheap alcohol.

  65. hockeymom says at 9:40 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I will be in Toronto the following day for business. Any good bars up north, for a November 5th celebration (hopefully)?

  66. PopeyesPipe says at 9:43 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Internally valid: I signed up for the wait list. Hopefully the wife and I will be able to get tickets.

  67. WonksRunAmuck says at 9:45 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Driving over to Chicago for the big night and the ridiculous million man outdoor frozen sexcapade that will be the obama rally in grant park.

  68. regisgoat:

    Do you two do magic tricks?

  69. lazyb: I was thinking maybe Brentwood.

  70. glamourdammerung says at 9:52 pm, October 28th, 2008

    OkieHookerinEngland: Uhm, it is actually spelled “frottage”.

  71. AngryBlakGuy says at 9:53 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Deepthroat: …just as long as there are no nipple tassels! Sorry but I had a really bad experience.

  72. I am SO hoping someone is hosting a shindig at Camelot.

    Classy.

  73. AngryBlakGuy says at 9:58 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Rush: …dont forget some Larry Craig toilet paper and GOP brand Wieners and Buns!

  74. AnglRdr: That’s a tossup for me. Brentwood is hideous, full of soulless SUV driving middle aged fuckwads. They would be utterly disgusted and scandalized by your presence among them and that would be lovely. But there’s something so vile about the young Republican rich boy of Vanderbilt. This could be the very first time Biff and Biffy don’t get EXACTLY what they want, and what could be more fun than watching that?

  75. bitchincamaro says at 10:00 pm, October 28th, 2008

    LittlePinky82: Yesh. We’ll heat it up on the engine block. You bring the “all bitchincamaro-can-drink-McCallan 15 yr. old”.

  76. Rush: Whipped Cream (of DC lobbyists)
    Swedish Meat Balls
    Half-baked Alaska
    Duck with an unlicensed plum sauce

  77. lazyb: I went to a party in Brentwood a couple of weeks ago, and my friend’s house was had the lone Hopey yard sign in the whole McMansioned subdivision. It was awesome!

    You’re probably right about Vandy, though. With my skin tone, I prolly shouldn’t be in Williamson County after dark on the 4th.

  78. Polly Sigh-Entist says at 10:06 pm, October 28th, 2008

    This will totally be us on Election Night:

    True, True.

    http://www.jackandjillpolitics.com/2008/10/wassup-2008/

  79. ladymacbeth says at 10:07 pm, October 28th, 2008

    chicago anyone? i KNOW you people are out there. i’ve seen simon’s / hopleaf / konak postings.

    anyone up for leaving andersonville?

  80. Worlds End says at 10:09 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Unrelated but i had to post this video.
    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/10/28/165744/62/787/645002

  81. InsidiousTuna: You need to get your ass down to Austin on Tuesday night before you get yourself shot in Waco.

  82. Polly Sigh-Entist: Didn’t see that one before. Funny and pointed. Nice!

  83. sweetits: Oh, come on, Sweets. You know she was just Warm for My Form.

    And — hey! — can you blame the girl? “We must needs love the best when we see it,” Doo-dah, doo-dah.

    (Personally, I figure it was my Irish White Guy dancing moves that first caught her eye.

    Imagine Michael Flatley from Riverdance. But retarded; with one leg off above the knee; and in a wheelchair.)

  84. Polly Sigh-Entist says at 10:17 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: You’re in Port Angeles? You are almost in Alaska!

    Seriously, what a fantastic place! I did a bitchin’ drive around the Peninsula on Route 101 about five years ago (including up to the Indian Reservation on the way, way, way Northwest tip). I’ve been dyin’ to come back ever since - one of the most fantastic areas I’ve ever been to!

  85. Worlds End says at 10:18 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Polly Sigh-Entist: But way more drunk

  86. Marquis de Maude says at 10:18 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Columbus Ga … me and the local dj from the queer bar are throwing a shin-dig complete with an obese drag queen named Candy O’Hara providing the entertainment as she is a Libertarian voting for McCain(I’m fucking serious). BYOB

  87. rocktonsammy says at 10:23 pm, October 28th, 2008
  88. Worlds End: Good video.

    One of the hardest things about being a “Republican” nowadays is that it is impossible to imagine an equivalent GOP version.

    White guys that old blowing Congressional pages in the stall of an airport men’s room just seems to lack the emotional punch . . . .

  89. hrhkingfriday says at 10:25 pm, October 28th, 2008

    There’s a party going on right here:

    http://wonktards.nfshost.com/

    Also, in my pants.

  90. bitchincamaro says at 10:26 pm, October 28th, 2008

    O/T, but—You know the campaign is too fucking long when…

    From CNN.com/Politics:

    “…a new poll in Florida shows…the Arizona senator trails McCain by 4 points there…”

  91. Polly Sigh-Entist says at 10:32 pm, October 28th, 2008

    lazyb: hate to break it to you lazy but ‘taint no librul bars out here. If you are going to be in the city, your best bet might be around the University but note that it is a notorious area for riots so might be ground zero for some craziness:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001_Cincinnati_riots

    Mt. Adams is a really cool spot, probably more Hopey signs there than in most other neighborhoods plus great bars.

    I’ll be on the lookout for events and will pass along if you are interested. You can also check out http://www.cincinnati.com/freetime/bars/

  92. sweetits says at 10:35 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Any bets that at the end of Hopey’s (hopefully) historic speech next Tuesday Michelle will grab the mike and “Thank Whitey”? Millions of freepers heads would explode.

  93. In Tucson, AKA the commmie, not real part of Arizona (where we will actually vote for THAT ONE) the PARTY will have THE PARTY at a hotel near the UofA campus (where we will troll for hot young coeds) while Johnny-Mac will sit weeping in a hotel 110 miles to the north in Phoenix, surrounded by bickering drunk staffers. Look and listen for them to call out Johnny for picking teh C%NT.

  94. Monsieur Grumpe says at 10:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    After Hopey gets elected I’m taking my amp out on the back porch, turning it up to eleven and doing my best rendition of Jimi’s Star Spangled Banner.

  95. Anonymous Office Zombie says at 10:37 pm, October 28th, 2008

    My turn for the next off-topic vid post - John McCain Has Seven Days

    http://mccainsevendays.ytmnd.com/
    (refresh for better synching)

  96. sweetits:

    Perhaps, but then for the next four years we get to play “Biden Mouth Roulette” each Friday after the Peggy Noonan article comes out.

  97. bitchincamaro: What’s wrong with that headline… the New, grumpy Mccain is losing to the ol’ mavericky, happy McCain…

  98. Deepthroat says at 10:48 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Worlds End: AWWWWWWW! Token cute old black dude!

  99. bitchincamaro says at 10:50 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Monsieur Grumpe: Easy on the lighter fluid, MG.

  100. magic titty says at 10:51 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Whomever is in NYC, holler at a playa, or something.

  101. Lascauxcaveman says at 10:53 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Polly Sigh-Entist: Yes. Yes, it is. Sorta quiet, however. We’re not expecting any amusing and stimulation race riots up here. Rowdy schoolteachers and cavemen, though? It’s my hotel, dammit. We can get rowdy if we want to.

  102. bitchincamaro says at 10:53 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Worlds End: Yeah, I miss Richard Pryor, too.

  103. bitchincamaro says at 10:54 pm, October 28th, 2008

    magic titty: Astoria in the houuuuse.

  104. DustBowlBlues says at 10:54 pm, October 28th, 2008

    No whores (as far as I know), no wine, no wifi but everyone sure is welcome down to the Methodist church for some dinner and a big piece of homeade pie, just $6.00 and you get a homeade roll in the bargain.

    Fuck, shit, damn, I cannot believe I have to work at a church dinner for, what, about 24 hours on election day? Work? Work, my ass. Volunteer– after fucking cooking for days and days and then have to play nice with the country folk. I swear, if we lose, I am going to personally catch the Baptist preacher and beat him senseless with a tire tool. Watch me! See if I don’t do it! And I may just jump in the church van and rundown the creepy Pentecostal preacher guy. My own personal improve-the-IQ of the Dust Bowl program.

    If I can spend all day working at the church dinner for Jesus, then he can bring in this damn election for Hopey.

    I am so going to hell. If I were Catholic I’d go confess, but I’m not, so, well, I guess I am just fucked.

    Lord–You know I’m only joking, right? Right?

    All the same–I hope-hope-hope that Hopey wins this one for me. I deserve it.

  105. sweetits says at 10:54 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Rush: Drudge will then claim that Biden and Nooner are doing the nasty, just to got headlines. Flashing lights and whore diamonds all around…

  106. sweetits says at 10:57 pm, October 28th, 2008

    sweetits: get not got. i have down syndrome.

  107. Giant Robot says at 10:57 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Chaffey Community Republican Women, Federated
    P.O. Box 974 Upland, CA 91785
    Diane Fedele (President)
    diane1354@mindspring.com
    Phone: (909) 981-0493
    We can’t have a party in a fucking PO box, Diane!! What’s the street address?!

  108. chascates says at 11:11 pm, October 28th, 2008

    dmdlnt: Almost any bar in Austin is better than Waco, the Foot of the Cross. I suggest Opal Devine’s.

  109. helenaHandbasket500 says at 11:13 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I am going to some dull outdoor party in Chicago with 100,000 of my closest friends where there will be no liquor or guns allowed.

  110. slappypaddy says at 11:31 pm, October 28th, 2008

    StripesAndPlaids: I’m with you. Well, not physically. It’ll be me and the wife and the cats and the cell phone and the rifle and the pistol and the ammo and the water and the canned goods and the battery-powered radio just in case the i-way gets cut off, and we shall see. We shall see. And I live in a predominantly-DemoCommieAntichristyBabyeatin neighborhood (the only McCain sign for blocks around came down several weeks ago; no shots were fired, I just think the Goppers had second and better thoughts). I’m sure everything will be peachy, the Obama signs are sprouting like mushrooms after a thunderstorm around here, but I’m not setting foot outside this house before sunrise Wednesday.

  111. Why did I move from Centreville to rural North Carolina again?

    WHY?!

    I’ll be having a closet party (those are more popular around here than you know) as all my neighbors are sporting Confederate flags next to their hand written ‘We Heart Sara Palin” signs.

    I’m serving drinks if anyone wants to travel out of the 495.

  112. Elle Gee says at 11:40 pm, October 28th, 2008

    magic titty: Yeah, there’s gotta be a bunch of us NYC Wonkarati right? I’m uptown, elitist Manhattan…

  113. Madeline says at 11:50 pm, October 28th, 2008

    I’ll be at the corner of Michigan and Balbo chanting “The Whole World Is Watching”. If you’re in the area, be sure to say “hi” before I get cracked on the skull by one of Chicago’s finest.

  114. nutcracker says at 11:51 pm, October 28th, 2008

    If any of you are in Savannah GA election night, my druggie-hippie friends and I will be cheering Hopey on at the Moon River Brewpub on Bay St., between Bull and Whitaker Sts. We will celebrate the ass-pounding that McSame and Caribou Barbie will get, with free-flowing fresh ale, and whatever else we can get our hands on. The food there is great as well. Come on down y’all.

  115. I’m in San Diego. Are there any election parties around the area (hopefully close to the La Jolla/Pacific Beach? I was thinking of making 538 jello shots, but then that too much alcohol for one night. He, he.

  116. Valkyrie says at 11:59 pm, October 28th, 2008

    Who’s in Kirkland, WA? Let me know if you’re partyless. Tuesday’s no night to be alone. I’m holding a select gathering. Champagne on ice.

  117. AnnieGetYourFun says at 12:02 am, October 29th, 2008

    So, a bunch of Seattle Wonketteers (and special Wonkette guest from Virginia) are getting on election night. Kevotron planned the whole thing. We’ll be at the Lava Lounge, starting at 7PM.

    I’ll probably throw an after party at my place - we will either all have group sex or commit mass suicide, depending on the outcome of the race (we are also only a couple hours from the Canadian border, should anyone want to make a run for it).

  118. kilroy: My brother in law lives in Escondido, and is voting McCain, so you can make the party a drive-by jello shooting at his condo.

  119. Polly Sigh-Entist says at 12:14 am, October 29th, 2008

    Lascauxcaveman: Rowdy schoolteachers - how mavericky!! Enjoy!

  120. One Yield Regular says at 12:31 am, October 29th, 2008

    Monsieur Grumpe: That’s about the most perfect celebratory idea I’ve ever heard.

  121. Neilist: Why am I not suprised that you don’t know that that is Bobby Seale not Cleaver. Cleaver wasn’t there being still in prison for raping white women as a political statement. He was never photographed with a gun either since he was a convicted felon. He just jumped on the bandwagon after Mailer made him a celebrity by praising his writing. I do understand why you idolize him, however.

  122. We’ll be having a party here in Jamaica. The whole country is pretty much in the tank. Come on down!

  123. Lemming Caution says at 12:54 am, October 29th, 2008

    Elle Gee: I am also (way) uptown, elitist Manhattan!

    my existing plans are pretty limited, as my closest friend in NY voted for McCain. (We don’t talk about politics.) All my librul friends are down in my beloved District.

  124. magic titty says at 12:59 am, October 29th, 2008

    Elle Gee: I’m East Side, VERY Elitist Manhattan. People pick up their dog’s shit with plastic bags from D’Agostino.

  125. Lascauxcaveman says at 1:31 am, October 29th, 2008

    Polly Sigh-Entist: Yeah! And their kids too, prolly. Lookout, dawg. Gonna be some thang.

  126. helenaHandbasket500 says at 1:38 am, October 29th, 2008

    Winsome: Big difference between Seale and Cleaver. Bobby wrote that BBQ cookbook
    http://www.bobbyqueseale.com/

    Now that’s ribs i ken believe in!

  127. magic titty: Brooklyn (the non-hipster part) in the house! The Bell House in Gowanus was pretty great for Debate Watching parties, so I’m assuming it’ll be good on election nights. It’s also owned by the people who run Union Hall, so it’s always fun.

  128. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:01 am, October 29th, 2008

    Huge massive orgy. My place. November 4, probably around 11 p.m. Pacific, when we find out Barry is the next President. I’ve got plenty of booze and enough hookers to sustain Canada. See you there. Somebody needs to volunteer for the coke and I.E.D.’s though.

  129. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:05 am, October 29th, 2008

    OH and I swear to Allah that I will put a contract out on our fair Editor if he doesn’t show up in SF for election day.
    I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, editor. You are far away from my favorite spots, but I WILL FIND YOU.

  130. Petticoatjunction says at 3:25 am, October 29th, 2008

    In 2004 I made cupcakes with red white & blue sprinkles for the election night party that was one of the worst nights ever. No More Cupcakes.

    This time we have stockpiled an array of sparkling Chinese Olympic type incendiaries from Washington State (where they sell the good fireworks) on 4th of July. You will know us by the trail of our colorful skyrockets bursting in the air over Portland… watch for many such celebratory displays of Roman candle exuberance in the dark sky above our city that night. Bush Sr. didn’t call us Little Beirut for nothing.

  131. schvitzatura says at 3:52 am, October 29th, 2008

    I’m sorry I had to fight in the middle of your Wonkette-approved Black Panther party…

  132. Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul says at 5:22 am, October 29th, 2008

    I will be visiting your beloved country (Jersey City/NJ & NYC) for the first time in my life just a day before the election. Do you allow EU citizens to take part in your communist-atheist baby-eating revolution?

    Whole Europe is in a tank for That One.

  133. Please oh please Allah, let there be somewhere to smoke and drink in Portland, OR.
    You can drink and smoke in strip clubs in Portland!

    Also, Frontalot could rock the turntablle…

    Ok, hearing someone take a Palin spew and put it to beats with the awkward halting cadence would be the only way to listen to her.

  134. tremendous says at 7:16 am, October 29th, 2008

    we were going to have a party here in scotchland, but all we can pull together is a dude from alabama and a canadian.

  135. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 8:18 am, October 29th, 2008

    My roommates said they didn’t want any Wonkette readers withing 10 miles of our apartment. Then they kicked me to the curb.

  136. bitchincamaro says at 8:34 am, October 29th, 2008

    azw88: Tooshay!

  137. Chicken Smack says at 9:37 am, October 29th, 2008

    Oh, right. I’m gonna let a bunch of internet poliphants in MY house, carte blanc. Yeah. I don’t have enough lipstick for that.

  138. the cold war makes me hot says at 9:42 am, October 29th, 2008

    lazyb: Welcome to Da Nati. There is approximately one liberal bar here. It is in Northside, which used to be where we kept the hillbillies from Appalachia, but it’s now where we keep teh geighs and the lesbertarians. It is about two blick of alternative-ness, cause anymore than that would just be too damn much for this town.

    It’s not too far from UC, but far enough from the area that are sure to riot on Tuesday.

    No, but seriously, Kentucky is right across the river. There you can smoke in the bars and the people think shrimp is bait.

  139. rocktonsammy says at 10:03 am, October 29th, 2008

    Chicken Smack:

    I doubt any of these internets people actually leave their homes, I think you’re safe.

  140. Doglessliberal says at 10:16 am, October 29th, 2008

    Dr. Zoidberg: I would MOVE to Wyoming if I could keep my job and work from there.

  141. SeminoleInDior says at 11:03 am, October 29th, 2008

    j6n: I am quite fond of Wonkerati.

    If any of y’all are in Indy, just find the big group of either sobbing or high-fiving freaks with wild hair and foggy glasses. That would be us campaign folks. You’re welcome to drink, sob, and vomit with us or drink, sob, and drink some more.

  142. War Eagle says at 11:05 am, October 29th, 2008

    As usual, I’ll be hanging with Ashley Todd, Meghan McCain, and Bristol Palin.

    Me and the ladies may get a little wild, loading up on Consolation Snacks.

  143. azw88: Hotel Congress??

  144. nestor: No, the Marriott near Euclid and University

    Giant Robot: The Repulitards are a dying breed, and the few left will be able to meet in a PO box…

  145. Kev-O-Tron says at 11:54 am, October 29th, 2008

    AnnieGetYourFun: thanks for the plug. Group sex is fine with me. Mass suicide is okay too assuming it’s something painless like poison hemlock Kool Aid.

  146. KilgoreTrout_XL says at 4:26 pm, October 29th, 2008

    I’ll be in the Davis Square vicinity, so victory shots at Redbones are a definite maybe. Unless Tufts kids have already invaded it.

  147. I’ll be holding a party here in socialist London, England where of course we will go fucking crazy when our fellow socialist Hopey gets in. I’ll be the only American there surrounded by sympathetic Brits. Hopefully it will go better than the 2004 party did. (Or the 2000 one, for that matter.)

  148. Anyone want to party with me as I’ll be traveling in Qatar? Let me know only if you have a bong.

  149. zenferretwork says at 7:35 pm, October 29th, 2008

    you cannot be serious: Maybe I could go to the Paris casino but that’s as close as I can come. Speaking polite French to the cocktail waitresses there wouldn’t be the same.

  150. mannacler says at 4:28 pm, October 31st, 2008

    Forget about partying election night. If Grampy loses every neck in the country is taking to the streets with loaded guns and a bottle of Jim Beam.

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