Wonkette
JOHN McCAIN PUSSES OUT ON RAINY RALLY; OBAMA STAYS: Well ladies and gentlemen, that settles it. Your brave war hero John McCain does not want to hold an outdoor rally in the rain in Pennsylvania, while an hour away, Barack Obama the Hawaiian shark god whips a drenched crowd of 9.000 into an orgiastic frenzy. What is wrong with all these terrible hippies, standing in the rain to listen to some guy talk about hope while his teleprompter breaks. [FOX News]
McCain is such a twat. Check out the photos from Hopey’s rally:
http://www.gettyimages.com/Search/Search.aspx?contractUrl=2&language=en-US&family=editorial&assetType=image&ebd=2008-10-27&p=barack%20obama&src=standard#
Old women aren’t afraid of the rain but Walnuts is.
Whoever controls the weather (the Illuminati) is in the tank.
Walnuts is still brave, strong, virile and healthy. The reason why Walnuts won’t speak in the rain is because rain melts off his face.
Obama is able to warm the crowd by reaching out and touching everyone’s heart with his glowing finger of hope… what? That’s E.T. Whateva. Same dif.
WALNUTS! in the meantime, simply doesn’t want the crowd to see his pants wet, because then you would see his Depends.
Ha HA… waterworks.
Oh, my face is melting! My face is melting?
There was the threat that the 30 pounds of makeup McCain normally wears to make himself look human might wash away.
WALNUTS! is just afraid that Cindy might melt if she got hit by an errant raindrop.
Obama also held his rally in scary Chester - I don’t think they serve McCain’s kind there.
OMG, weather=WEATHERMEN??!?!?!!? Why does Bill Ayers use the rain to attack John McCain??
JeffGoldblum: Dont forget the greys
My momma always said we need more Hawaiian shark gods in government.
Anyone see this they are just scrapping the barrel now.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/27/phony-election-flier-in-v_n_138382.html
Uh, ladies and gents. Seems like we voted and it’s unanimous.
Don’t want his eye shadow to run like Miss Ashley T.
ManchuCandidate: Ah, like the Wicked Witch of the West. Got it.
9.000?
What the FUCK is that thing!!??
Also, Cindy McCain can’t get wet, or she gets visibly cunty. And NO ONE wants to see that.
9.000 people? That’s no orgy, that’s just larger than average group sex.
Obvs the weather is in the tank for Obammmah
Gramps knows he’s going to lose next Tuesday, and losing is even less fun with pneumonia.
It’s not fair — under Obama’s Canopy of Hope ™ it’s always sunny and 75 degrees.
Worlds End: Pretty standard in Hampton and Virginia Beach, actually.
I bet you Hopey gained all the undecideds that are fans of “Singing in the Rain.”
I was at the Chester rally and I think the real reason is denim. Obama looked adorable in his Dad Jeans with his nice, tightly rounded glutes, whereas we all know how awful old men look in blue jeans, what with their colostomy bags and their sagging ass cheeks and all.
Man, I wanna go to one of these Obama free-love freakout parties. I would SO hook up!
Awwww wet Hawaiian Shark God in jeans and sneaks! So adorable. I cannot get enough.
Well, Mom always says “Sugar lumps and shit melts.” Melt on you old Goat!
sk1win: Go Hopey!
I’m surprised FOX didn’t intercut the dance scenes from Matrix Reloaded…
i wish i were a hawaiian shark god.
Rain? I’d be a little bit more worried about the icy, glowing, hand of death reaching through the ether into the center of the crowd.
P.S. I vote yes to a totally grabbable ass.
More liberal mainstream meterology.
SayItWithWookies: So true.
Hope looks good in leather. A hot president is change I can believe in.
Also, McCain could not be outside in the rain because he would slip and fall like Dole did that one time and we would all laugh like crazy.
But….but….Barry’s so sweet he must be made of sugar. Why didn’t he melt in the rain? Does it have something to do with unicorns?
Hey—old people have to be careful. They can catch pneumonia if they say out in the rain.
Vewol Mevemont: Death always has a hand out for a handout, hanging around the bitterz too much.
nycguy: Walnuts still remembers what happened to his friend William Henry Harrison after he walked in the rain and then died because of the old age and pneumonia and whatnot.
McCain suspended his campaign to rush to the local weather station and solve this rain crisis.
William Henry Harrison people….never forget!
That broken teleprompter is the first thing that’s been in the tank for Old Man McCain in weeks.
sk1win: I need a cold shower now.
Dave J.: curses…I thought I’d be first with the dead prez reference.
damn that missing T on my laptop.
sk1win: Seriously, everyone needs to chack out these pictures. They’re all kinds of awesome.
Damned Weathermen.
rmontcal: Wonkette is already being turned into eurosocialists by Hopey.
It’s snowing here in Pennsylvania right now. Well, not where I am, due to lovely pollutants that keep my inner city toastier than the surrounding area, but I hear from my friends who live farther out in places with trees that it is snowing.
magic titty: Man, Hopey’s a badass.
hockeymom: He was a war hero, too. Screwed up when he took snakes to cure pneumonia. Didn’t work any more than tossing a few trillion dollars at insolvent banks will cure an economy. But he was a hero.
glamourdammerung: If that is what I think it is, then you have just conquered everything, ever with your comment.
magic titty: Wouldn’t have the same effect if he wore glasses. But glasses are for when he’s Clark Kent.
McCain steps out into that rain and catches cold, continues to campaign, gets elected, gets pneumonia, dies. President Palin. Mooses stampede to Canada. Evildoers whisper, “Whattaya say, dudes, shall we test her?”
McCain fears the rain lest he be stricken with a fierce bout of ague and the grippe and suffer the same fate as his old friend William Henry Harrison.
sk1win: Some of the best campaign photos so far. Thanks!
ManchuCandidate: you mena melt kind of like this guy?
Obama needs not fear the cold…. frozen chocolate is good!
Dave J.:
Damnit, I knew I posted too late!
McCain/Harrison: Ready to Die on Day One!
hockeymom: Who can blame him? If Sarah Palin was my running mate, I wouldn’t be taking any chances either. I’d give all my speeches from a hermetically sealed bunker, with a team of doctors standing by at all times.
Hawaiian shark god….oh, I’ve got a new nickname for Obama!
And it’s so appropriate, seeing as how I have several shark tattoos…this means Hopey and I are destined to be together!
The rain just helps further fill the Obama tank so other can continue to join.
A little Obama porn here for the folks at home.
elcapitan: Broken teleprompter didn’t slow Hopey down! He had a plan B, unlike McCain.
Did I actually just read a fair and balanced article about the Obama rally on the Fox News site? Must be hallucinating. Need coffee.
Dude that was one of my favorite Grateful Dead shows of all time! Back to back Box of Rain, Rain, Expecting Rain! woot!
I really just posted those photos to dispel that myth that the blacks aren’t scared of water (you know like cats). But I’m glad they were enjoyed (and masturbated to).
sanantonerose: Geez, Rose, be more circumspect. Drudge read your post and has a siren up: “Obama Has Plan-B. Unprotected Sex Scandal?! Developing.”
It’s just not “orgiastic” unless everyone leaves drenched.
Was that an orgiastic frenzy or an orgastic frenzy? F. Scott Fitzgerald fans demand to know.
McCain was afraid to stand in the rain as he remembers all to well what happened to his injun-battlin’ war-buddy from Tippecanoe. McCain spent FIVE AND A HALF MOTHERFUCKING years with a cold after standing in the rain listening to William Henry Harrison’s inaugural.
Everyday is soggy for Walnuts. In his pants.
$150,000 on clothing for Palin and no one thought to buy a fucking rain coat or umbrella?
Sasquatch: Palin’s method of sheltering herself from the elements is to climb inside a hollowed out moose carcase.
That’s what you get for yelling at clouds, even the clouds are in the tank for Obama.
sk1win: i like it that they’ve just plain given up on photoshopping out hopey’s halo.
McCain in Rain, is Plainly without Gain. (By George, I think I’ve got it!)
“Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace within the storm.”
-Unknown