Wonkette
So here’s a terrible thing to happen one week before one’s re-election bid: a CANING caught on video! This choppy video is produced by a staffer for Judy Feder, the Democrat challenging Republican Rep. Frank Wolf in Virginia. The staffer is an annoying twit who gets in the face of Wolf and his little lady in some coffee shop or other. Then there’s a THWAP, and the staffer cries like a baby, and then another THWAP outside. As everyone knows, “THWAP” is the sound you hear when an 83-year-old campaign spokesperson strikes a young liberal whippersnapper with his cane. Until now, this sound had not been heard since the mid-19th century. [Washington Post, Raising Kaine]
GET OFF MY LAWN!
More political canings, please.
You know that dude went home, poured a good scotch and said, “Today was a good day. Got to slap around a whippersnapper librul hippie.”
Did I just witness a squirrel attack?
Wow. The GOP really is the party of Old and/or Violent Stupid People now.
johnbpt: Don’t worry. When Mittens is in charge, starting Nov. 5th, canings will be mandatory for everyone.
If that old fart with the cane isn’t arrested, there is no justice. It’s there on video. Assault with a weapon. Send that old cracker to the jail.
I know you’re supposed to write something snarky here, but I’m too busy laughing. Gawd, that was funny.
Eh, House makes it look better.
It’s the ghost of Preston Brooks!
I’m still in shock that the reporter said “please” multiple times.
The Lucky Republican: Only if you imbibe alcohol, caffeine & chew gum (at least in Singapore). RE: the alcohol, I guess we all better get in line.
Let’s not be petty, kids these days are freaks and he probably liked it.
This standard needs to be applied to Shawn Hannity, STAT!
These guys remind me of that Seinfeld episode with Lloyd Bridges. “Mandlebaum, Mandlebaum!!!”
Lesson 1 for a democrat: “be tolerant of others.”
Lesson 1 for a republican: “git off my goddamn lawn.”
That was great, somebody needs to put together a whole segment on annoying asshats with cameras getting smacked around.
This video is full of WIN. I predict a landslide for Wolf.
I expect John McCain and Sarah Palin are furiously taking notes, except instead of a caning, they’ll have a good ol’ fashioned lynchin’ party.
hockeymom: Srsly. After the first thwap Mr Wolf would be on the way to the proctologist to have said cane removed. I mean, that’s like a dream for me. Some krazy kracka hit’s me with a stick. I can only imagine how my fist would go right through his spindly face bones.
That was terrifying. Republicans were beating up everyone in that video. Two minutes later they’re running over hippies with cars and gang raping Sheryl Crow.
Then Wolf and his overseer go back to Wolf’s Virginia plantation, where the overseer canes some slaves who won’t “step lively”.
Rumproast: They could not have been raping Sheryl Crow. She was taking sniper fire on the tarmac.
The campaign apologized IF poor judgment was shown by the staffer in the wielding of his staff. And anyway, the campaign said the old geezer had been provoked—someone asked the other old geezer a question he didn’t like. So two-for-two, it was perfectly all right for the old geezer the whack the young’un. That’ll larn ‘im. And let it be a lesson to all of us. Let it be a variety of lessons. Let there be more vodka in my glass, which has become dangerously dry. I think I’ll whack it with my staff.
who were those guys getting caught making out against the wall? “hands off me” indeed.
Uh, “Raising Kaine?”
Did Wolf carve a backwards B on the staffer’s face? Because, otherwise, this is not Drudge-newsflash-worthy.
Hi! I’m Preston Brooks and I approve of this message.
Ted Stevens found guilty
…TED STEVENS has been found guilty!
I wonder if Judy is related to Richard Feder, the guy who always wrote in to Roseanne Roseannadanna.
Hell, I’da thumped him too — damn snivelling little whiney licklespit.
Those whippersnappers had it coming. Everyone knows republicans hate being asked questions. They consider it an assault. It’s a completely justified caning.
Hey Jim, Senator Stevens’ verdict in – he was found guilty on all seven charges. Alaskan politicians can’t just get a brake these days
AngryBlakGuy: Whaaaaaaaa??!!??
Ted Stevens found guilty on all counts muthafuckas!!!!
AngryBlakGuy: The tubes they have betrayed him!
Hey. Hold up a sec. Frank Wolf is not a bad man. He is a Republican man. But honest-to-jeebers, he’s not the worst of them. Votin’ for Judy, but tryin’ to be fair about the whole thing.
You know, when a typical reporter asks for comment and gets a no, one eventually walks away without a comment. When an annoying shit-fuck from your opponent’s staff keeps badgering you for a comment, you have your valet cane him good and hard and beat up his buddy around the corner. Old People Fight Back! Kill the Kids!
Worlds End: …damn you!
AngryBlakGuy: Hey Angry, I work with a bunch righties and they’ve been playing your dance-off and loving it…Ted Stevens IS guilty, now they just made it official…
That is so pathetic, he needs to stop being a pussy and start waterboarding these gotcha journalists — try asking a question when you’re drowning bitch! If Hitchens can do it to himself, anyone can do it to anyone.
dano: Worlds End: …I wonder how long before he throws Palin underneath the bus for a plea deal?!
jagorev: Wolf will be in office until some Alaskan picks him off from a helicopter and cuts off one of his front paws to claim the bounty.
AngryBlakGuy: I guess the “I didn’t get an invoice” defense was ineffective?
Ahhh, Mr. Wolf was just flashing back to the good ol’ days when you can cane someone without some librul getting all pissy.
Goddamn 13th amendment.
AngryBlakGuy: If it were anywhere but Alaska, I’d celebrate. Now he’s a shoo-in.
“You insolent rapscallion! You upstart jackanapes! Take that, you greenhorn lickspittle!”
Worlds End: Wait — there IS justice in Alaska? I’m going to have to sit down.
This is so overblown. Can you imagine if Mr. Burns attacked you with his Ivory Backscratcher? It would practically tickle! In thailand you would pay like 80 Baht for that
Worlds End: Worlds End: Dammit! The tubes are slow. The irony is profound.
I kind of liked the sound of the staffer being hit with a cane.
Mara47: Bwahaha, nice.
bitchincamaro: Nope, it could be here in ole Louisiana, too. We’ve put Dollar Bill Jefferson back in office once already, and now he’s in a runoff AGAIN for another chance at the trough.
My friends,that’s a proven track record.
Elizabeth Hassledreck find the left’s obsession with “men beating women”to be ridiculous. Tim just calls it “putting country first.”
“Sic Semper Librul Wusses”: I think that’s what it says on the Virginia flag in “Real Virginya.” I think it loosely translates to, “I’m fixin’ to whup you with my pimp cane, pussy-boy.”
The last time we had this kind of political caning, we were in for a civil war.
I didn’t know people that old were still alive
Old guy: Back! back I tell you! Don’t you make me raise m’cane!
I just called Wolf’s congressional office and asked how the congressman felt about the Fugitive Slave Act, telling them “because the last time somebody got caned by a congressman, that’s what it was about.” The staffer seemed genuinely confused, asked me if I knew the bill number, (I tole them I did not), and suggested I talk the the campaign office. She then transferred me to the campaign office, I asked again about Wolf’s view of the Fugitive Slave Act, and got the same response. They took my phone number and said someone will call me back. Somebody in Wolf’s office is probably looking up “Fugitive Slave Act” on Thomas as we speak!
Mara47: He hits people with canes when he doesn’t want to deal with them, and he’s a good guy? Isn’t this the 83 year-old version of road rage? Do we need pols with that level of impulse control? Maybe it’s time for the Wolf train to leave the station. I remember the last couple terms of Sid Yates, who was almost a saint; it was “Sid’s not here, leave a message at the beep.” Not such good government, methought; there comes a time.
Is this the world’s biggest wuss behind the camera? Someone hits him with a cane and he say “Sir, sir, please…”
Some old bastard hits you with cane… you sweep his legs, Johnny.
WTF was the other thing going on in the background with the other kid against the wall? Most chaotic strip mall scene I’ve seen outside of a Kevin Smith movie.
Funny you should mention canes:
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a2505951d1a2751011d2649ebfb0098
lawrenceofthedesert: The Fauquier County Republican Kool-Aid is that Wolf has done a lot on his Hill to prevent power towers going up on ours, and the gang-raping of our pretty-witty countryside, which is the ONLY THING we give a shit about out here. We furtively massage this topic under the down comforters of our respective sleeps, that’s how essential it is to our self-awareness. We think that one really good thing that’s trickled down from this Great New Depression we’re in is that all the crappy townhouse developments are on indefinite hold.
lawrenceofthedesert: ps: But yeah, he’s pretty much a dick.
Not a reporter, just an annoying dickhead from the opposing campaign. If I’m on the jury in that old man’s assault trial/suit, not only does he get off scot free, he gets a medal and a round of drinks.
We need to amend the Constitution to allow beating the shit out of people with video cameras who won’t take “I am not going to talk to you” for an answer. Imagine the insane amount of joyful entertainment we’d get from Bill O’Reilly’s ambush teams.
I’m a reporter, btw.
That was totally out of character for Monty Burns! He normally would have had Smithers release the hounds … and, hey, what happened to Smithers?!?
This caning brings me great pleasure at both their expense(s?)Perhaps the only thing better would have been for the old dude to have demanded that the video twerp go cut a switch, and the twerp tearfully complied, while pleading, please, sir, please.
I’m thinking “Wolf For President: 2012″
Best slogan ever: “Can I Be Frank With You?”
Is the old guy with the cane Old Man Stinkmeaner from the Boondocks? This is definitely proof that crackas have nigga moments too. LOL!