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John McCain Lies About eBay, Too

Bid on John McCain's presidential campaign!John McCain, that poor little rich boy, was born in an Admiral’s Castle in the 16th Century, so of course he knows nothing about the Internets, which is why he often repeats some weird depressing thing about how millions of Americans are desperately selling off their meager consumer belongings on eBay, as if there’s something dignified about auctioning off your beanie-baby collection to make rent. Oh, and did you know his wonderful campaign business-lady Secretary of McCain Commerce founded eBay all by herself? That is also a lie.

McCain has been trotting out Meg Whitman all year. She’s his national co-chairwoman of his campaign! She is familiar with all internet traditions! Yet, she did not start eBay with five start-up Joe the Stanford Engineer employees.

Pierre Omidyar started eBay. He’s not only a French-Iranian, he’s a Barack Obama supporter!

Whitman was hired as CEO three years later, when it was a big business with 30 employees and had already racked up $100 million in revenues. Before that, she was in executive at Hasbro, where she was actually in charge of Mr. Potato Head, which is why she likes John McCain so much.

McCain Claims Surrogate Meg Whitman ‘Founded’ eBay; Actual Founder Is Obama Supporter Pierre Omidyar [Huffington Post]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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48 comments

  1. Neilist

    That’s not a “ghost.”

    It’s McCain’s “campaign strategy.”

    You know: Invisible, no mass, non-radiating, and otherwise undetectable to Modern Science.

  2. Serolf Divad

    Here’s a cute anecdote about eBay from the Wikipedia page on eBay:

    The very first item sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer for $14.83. (though in 2008, eBay later banned the sale of laser pointers.[6]) Astonished, Omidyar contacted the winning bidder to ask if he understood that the laser pointer was broken. In his responding email, the buyer explained: “I’m a collector of broken laser pointers.”[7] The frequently-repeated story that eBay was founded to help Omidyar’s fiancée trade PEZ Candy dispensers was fabricated by a public relations manager in 1997 to interest the media. This was revealed in Adam Cohen’s 2002 book, The Perfect Store,[4] and confirmed by eBay.

  3. AnnieGetYourFun

    Didn’t Clinton or Gore or someone crow about how millions of Americans were making their living selling shit on eBay?

  4. Mara47

    “…She was actually in charge of Mr. Potato Head, which is why she likes John McCain so much.”

    OMG, thank you. Thank you for that.

  5. Toomush Infermashun

    Couldn’t McCain sell broken vice-presidential candidates in a box, if he’s so smart….?

  6. Woodwards Friend

    I can’t wait to buy Sarah Palin’s $150,000 wardrobe for $2 on eBay because you know those fucktards are too stupid to set a reserve price.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    [re=150614]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: That’s so offensive. Don’t you know McCain can’t put things in boxes anymore because he was tortured? We should elect John McCain president just so he knows you’re sorry.

  8. gjdodger

    Does Hasbro still make “Cooties”? From all the Repubs deserting ship, it appears McCain has those, too.

  9. NoWireHangers

    There is nothing dignified about auctioning off beanie babies to make rent. Vintage Barbie>/i> dolls on the other hand…

  10. hockeymom

    Cindy McCain is on the teevee right now is some sort of outlandish get-up.

    The combo of red and ringlets makes her look like a Satanic Nelly Oleson.

  11. blader

    EBay is great!! It is about the only place you’ll be able to sell autographed pictures of yourself. And if I had more than one picture, I’d probably own a plumbing company by now.

    On Craig’s List, my autograph wasn’t even worth a tube of bartered plumber’s putty.

  12. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=150603]Gopherit[/re]: Huh. I could have SWORN that a liberal made the same claim longer ago. It’s bogus either way.

  13. azw88

    [re=150650]cal[/re]: Yeah, cause once you open that box up, the ghost is out of the box and haunting you for the rest of your life, kinda like McCain’s pick for Veep is haunting his staff….. They liked the box, but once they opened it up and found it was ‘empty’ it was too late and they have been haunted ever since

  14. Hamster

    Ebay ruined thrift shop/garage sale shopping, just like the republicans ruined everything good and decent in the world.

  15. PentagonBookkeeper

    [re=150602]spencer[/re]: Dude…”definitely”. Vowels are a bitch the older and blinder we become.

    On a lighter note, gun sales are way up in anticipation of the coming race war.

  16. Words

    NPR reported a few days ago that eBay was laying off people, so maybe Meg’s not so great after all…

  17. Cape Clod

    Isn’t ebay the place where people brag about selling stuff for a profit only to be exposed later on for being huge liers? I seem to remember some governor telling a whopper about selling a plane on it once.

  18. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=150701]Cape Clod[/re]: I have a car I would like to sell you. It is in Nigeria. Right now I am in U.K. I am lucrative business man. I will sell car for 8 dollars. Please send me the correct information for me to have the car shipped to you in United States.

  19. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Meg is probs the one who came up with ThaiKid08′s “I [John McCain's Head] John McCain” t-shirt.

  20. JamesMichaelCurley

    [re=150570]Serolf Divad[/re]: That goes with the legend that when Arapnet was first released from DoD control, within a day somebody posted selling a dinette set on a newsnet by a seller at MIT in MA. Said dinnette set posting’s first response was whether the asking price included shipping to New Zealand.

  21. AngryBlakGuy

    …I’ve already pawned all my crap, I have nothing left to sell! I even managed to get a couple hundred bucks for my soul!

  22. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=150728]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: When I was in camp, we challenged the youngest girl’s cabin (they were like 8 year’s old) to a game of soccer (we were 15-17 councilors). We decided to use our souls for the wager. I am now in possession of 13 souls, if you would like to trade any time.

  23. TeddyS

    SPECIAL DEAL TODAY ONLY! A crazy bitch from Alaska who won’t stay on message. No minimum bid. Comes with autographed photo of John McCain and a lot of used clothes.

  24. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=150728]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Did you happen to run into John McCain while you were selling your soul to the devil?

  25. Doglessliberal

    [re=150731]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You went to a really cool camp. We just got extra free swim time and trail mix for winning capture the flag.

  26. Borat

    [re=150602]spencer[/re]: heheheeehee. if only mccain wrote his speeches in 160 (or so) characters or less

  27. Borat

    [re=150778]TeddyS[/re]: So most washed up politicians make millions (or hundreds of millions) by giving speeches, or accepting facilitation bribes. I think you’re on to the future of Bible Spice and the whole Snowbilly klan – selling used underwear and the like on Ebay. The retrading alone will create MILLIONS of jobs. God bless america, you don’t get that kind of market distortion under Karl Marx

Comments are closed.