LOSING BIDS  1:45 pm October 27, 2008

John McCain Lies About eBay, Too

by Ken Layne

Bid on John McCain's presidential campaign!John McCain, that poor little rich boy, was born in an Admiral’s Castle in the 16th Century, so of course he knows nothing about the Internets, which is why he often repeats some weird depressing thing about how millions of Americans are desperately selling off their meager consumer belongings on eBay, as if there’s something dignified about auctioning off your beanie-baby collection to make rent. Oh, and did you know his wonderful campaign business-lady Secretary of McCain Commerce founded eBay all by herself? That is also a lie.

McCain has been trotting out Meg Whitman all year. She’s his national co-chairwoman of his campaign! She is familiar with all internet traditions! Yet, she did not start eBay with five start-up Joe the Stanford Engineer employees.

Pierre Omidyar started eBay. He’s not only a French-Iranian, he’s a Barack Obama supporter!

Whitman was hired as CEO three years later, when it was a big business with 30 employees and had already racked up $100 million in revenues. Before that, she was in executive at Hasbro, where she was actually in charge of Mr. Potato Head, which is why she likes John McCain so much.

McCain Claims Surrogate Meg Whitman ‘Founded’ eBay; Actual Founder Is Obama Supporter Pierre Omidyar [Huffington Post]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Neilist October 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm

That’s not a “ghost.”

It’s McCain’s “campaign strategy.”

You know: Invisible, no mass, non-radiating, and otherwise undetectable to Modern Science.

Serolf Divad October 27, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Here’s a cute anecdote about eBay from the Wikipedia page on eBay:

The very first item sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer for $14.83. (though in 2008, eBay later banned the sale of laser pointers.[6]) Astonished, Omidyar contacted the winning bidder to ask if he understood that the laser pointer was broken. In his responding email, the buyer explained: “I’m a collector of broken laser pointers.”[7] The frequently-repeated story that eBay was founded to help Omidyar’s fiancĂ©e trade PEZ Candy dispensers was fabricated by a public relations manager in 1997 to interest the media. This was revealed in Adam Cohen’s 2002 book, The Perfect Store,[4] and confirmed by eBay.

AnnieGetYourFun October 27, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Didn’t Clinton or Gore or someone crow about how millions of Americans were making their living selling shit on eBay?

spencer October 27, 2008 at 1:50 pm


Gopherit October 27, 2008 at 1:50 pm

[re=150576]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: It was our own Richard “Yeah, I’m a Dick” Cheney:

PopeyesPipe October 27, 2008 at 1:51 pm

Star Wars collectibles: the backbone of the American economy.

Mara47 October 27, 2008 at 1:52 pm

“…She was actually in charge of Mr. Potato Head, which is why she likes John McCain so much.”

OMG, thank you. Thank you for that.

Toomush Infermashun October 27, 2008 at 1:53 pm

Couldn’t McCain sell broken vice-presidential candidates in a box, if he’s so smart….?

Serolf Divad October 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm


Scarab October 27, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[re=150602]spencer[/re]: Win! I don’t see anyone beating that.

Woodwards Friend October 27, 2008 at 1:56 pm

I can’t wait to buy Sarah Palin’s $150,000 wardrobe for $2 on eBay because you know those fucktards are too stupid to set a reserve price.

SayItWithWookies October 27, 2008 at 1:57 pm

[re=150614]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: That’s so offensive. Don’t you know McCain can’t put things in boxes anymore because he was tortured? We should elect John McCain president just so he knows you’re sorry.

Scarab October 27, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Item: $150,000 campaign wardrobe, only slightly sweat-stained.
Starting Bid: US $39.00

gjdodger October 27, 2008 at 1:58 pm

Does Hasbro still make “Cooties”? From all the Repubs deserting ship, it appears McCain has those, too.

golliwog October 27, 2008 at 1:59 pm

On eBay: 87 listings for WALNUTS, 2682 lisings for ACORN

I smell a conspiracy

NoWireHangers October 27, 2008 at 1:59 pm

There is nothing dignified about auctioning off beanie babies to make rent. Vintage Barbie>/i> dolls on the other hand…

grendel October 27, 2008 at 2:00 pm

The main use of eBay for Repugs? Selling one’s soul…

hockeymom October 27, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Cindy McCain is on the teevee right now is some sort of outlandish get-up.

The combo of red and ringlets makes her look like a Satanic Nelly Oleson.

Anonymous Office Zombie October 27, 2008 at 2:01 pm

She is familiar with all internet traditions, you say? O RLY?

blader October 27, 2008 at 2:01 pm

EBay is great!! It is about the only place you’ll be able to sell autographed pictures of yourself. And if I had more than one picture, I’d probably own a plumbing company by now.

On Craig’s List, my autograph wasn’t even worth a tube of bartered plumber’s putty.

gjdodger October 27, 2008 at 2:05 pm

[re=150636]blader[/re]: And you can even buy…er…Sarah Palin.


AnnieGetYourFun October 27, 2008 at 2:05 pm

[re=150603]Gopherit[/re]: Huh. I could have SWORN that a liberal made the same claim longer ago. It’s bogus either way.

Min October 27, 2008 at 2:06 pm

I see dead people. Voting. Because that’s the only way McCain has a shot at winning.

cal October 27, 2008 at 2:08 pm

I want a ghost in a box!

But $38.37 seems a little high…

Worlds End October 27, 2008 at 2:18 pm

he also lied again about obama already writing his inaugural address

azw88 October 27, 2008 at 2:19 pm

[re=150650]cal[/re]: Yeah, cause once you open that box up, the ghost is out of the box and haunting you for the rest of your life, kinda like McCain’s pick for Veep is haunting his staff….. They liked the box, but once they opened it up and found it was ‘empty’ it was too late and they have been haunted ever since

Imagine42 October 27, 2008 at 2:25 pm

This ghost is ugly now, but could possibly improve with some work. I bid two whore diamonds.

ReelectTilden October 27, 2008 at 2:29 pm

[re=150627]Scarab[/re]: Come on, I’d pay $39 just for the underwear.

Hamster October 27, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Ebay ruined thrift shop/garage sale shopping, just like the republicans ruined everything good and decent in the world.

PentagonBookkeeper October 27, 2008 at 2:40 pm

[re=150602]spencer[/re]: Dude…”definitely”. Vowels are a bitch the older and blinder we become.

On a lighter note, gun sales are way up in anticipation of the coming race war.

Words October 27, 2008 at 2:41 pm

NPR reported a few days ago that eBay was laying off people, so maybe Meg’s not so great after all…

Plumber' October 27, 2008 at 2:43 pm

[re=150627]Scarab[/re]: isn’t that flop sweat-stained?

Cape Clod October 27, 2008 at 2:45 pm

Isn’t ebay the place where people brag about selling stuff for a profit only to be exposed later on for being huge liers? I seem to remember some governor telling a whopper about selling a plane on it once.

shortsshortsshorts October 27, 2008 at 2:48 pm

[re=150701]Cape Clod[/re]: I have a car I would like to sell you. It is in Nigeria. Right now I am in U.K. I am lucrative business man. I will sell car for 8 dollars. Please send me the correct information for me to have the car shipped to you in United States.

Doglessliberal October 27, 2008 at 2:48 pm

[re=150645]gjdodger[/re]: arghhhhhhhhhhhhh


Itsjustme October 27, 2008 at 2:53 pm

John McCain lies, period!

queeraselvis v 2.0 October 27, 2008 at 2:54 pm

Meg is probs the one who came up with ThaiKid08′s “I [John McCain's Head] John McCain” t-shirt.

JamesMichaelCurley October 27, 2008 at 2:56 pm

[re=150570]Serolf Divad[/re]: That goes with the legend that when Arapnet was first released from DoD control, within a day somebody posted selling a dinette set on a newsnet by a seller at MIT in MA. Said dinnette set posting’s first response was whether the asking price included shipping to New Zealand.

AngryBlakGuy October 27, 2008 at 3:00 pm

…I’ve already pawned all my crap, I have nothing left to sell! I even managed to get a couple hundred bucks for my soul!

shortsshortsshorts October 27, 2008 at 3:04 pm

[re=150728]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: When I was in camp, we challenged the youngest girl’s cabin (they were like 8 year’s old) to a game of soccer (we were 15-17 councilors). We decided to use our souls for the wager. I am now in possession of 13 souls, if you would like to trade any time.

Johnny Zhivago October 27, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Speaking of Meg Whitman, what’s happened to my gal Carly Fiorina?

TeddyS October 27, 2008 at 3:20 pm

SPECIAL DEAL TODAY ONLY! A crazy bitch from Alaska who won’t stay on message. No minimum bid. Comes with autographed photo of John McCain and a lot of used clothes.

Johnny Zhivago October 27, 2008 at 3:21 pm

[re=150728]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Did you happen to run into John McCain while you were selling your soul to the devil?

Doglessliberal October 27, 2008 at 3:28 pm

[re=150731]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You went to a really cool camp. We just got extra free swim time and trail mix for winning capture the flag.

Borat October 27, 2008 at 3:36 pm

[re=150602]spencer[/re]: heheheeehee. if only mccain wrote his speeches in 160 (or so) characters or less

bitchincamaro October 27, 2008 at 3:37 pm

Katharine Zaleski is hot.

Borat October 27, 2008 at 3:44 pm

[re=150778]TeddyS[/re]: So most washed up politicians make millions (or hundreds of millions) by giving speeches, or accepting facilitation bribes. I think you’re on to the future of Bible Spice and the whole Snowbilly klan – selling used underwear and the like on Ebay. The retrading alone will create MILLIONS of jobs. God bless america, you don’t get that kind of market distortion under Karl Marx

mrtrailsafety October 27, 2008 at 4:06 pm

…and the clothes are presumably “stain-free”, NWT, NIB and all that shit?

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