Wonkette
The past week has been so insane and frantic — thanks, Ashley Todd! — that we never got around to mentioning the daily endorsements of “That One” by myriad Republican politicians and power-brokers. So let’s run down the list, and maybe even figure out what it all means, at this late stage in the game.
- Colin Powell: Jesus, was that already a week ago? So what was the “Powell Effect,” if any? Pretty good, considering most endorsements don’t matter much. Gallup says 12% of voters are “more likely” to vote for Obama. And 80% of voters had actually heard about the endorsement, which is pretty good for you dummies.
- Ken Adelman: Neo-con insider, hired by Rumsfeld in the Nixon Administration and was a top guy both times Rumsfeld was defense secretary — under Ford and Bush Junior. “He introduced Cheney to Paul Wolfowitz at a Washington brunch the day Reagan was sworn in,” the New Yorker writes. Well, maybe he’s just trying to get some good karma before he dies. No impact with voters; nobody really knows him outside of Washington. But it gives more elderly Republican elitists the freedom to also break with McCain, because McCain is “impetuous, inconsistent, and imprudent; ending up just plain weird,” according to Adelman.
- William Weld: A U.S. attorney and Justice Dept. official hired by Giuliani during the Reagan administration, Weld was the Republican governor of Massachusetts from 1991-1997. God, it’s really the same dozen people who’ve been fucking up this country for half a century. So, Weld’s also trying to avoid the Fires of Hell, and has heartily endorsed the black communist Barack Obama.
- Arne Carlson: Former governor of Minnesota, lifelong Republican, this “maverick” said batshit goon Michele Bachmann’s freakout on Hardball helped make his decision to endorse Obama. Will matter to moderate Republicans and independents in MN, and could hurt Bachmann’s bloodied campaign, too.
- Scott McClellan: The former Bush spokesman is already a Demon-Queer to the wingnuts because of his mildly critical book about his White House years, so his Obama endorsement will not sway those people. But he’s well known because he was on the teevee all the time, promoting Bush and the GOP, so this could help in the mysteriously “undecided” category. Or those people might vote for Jennifer Aniston, who knows?
- C.C. Goldwater: The granddaughter of conservative saint Barry Goldwater says she will say yes to Kenyan Socialism, too — along with “my siblings and a few cousins.” The libertarian side of the GOP peeled away long before Obama got the Democratic nomination, but this might still matter in places where the Goldwater name is still powerful. Places like Arizona, where “favorite son” John McCain was famously hated by Barry Goldwater.
- Charles Fried: The solicitor general in Reagan’s second term and one of those few “conservative intellectuals” left on the planet, Fried was actually part of the McCain campaign until last week. After he endorsed Obama, Fried “asked that his name be removed from the several [McCain] campaign-related committees on which he serves.”
The real impact of these nearly daily defections from the GOP to Obama may just be in their relentlessness, the way each morning’s news has yet another prominent conservative renouncing John McCain and endorsing the Democrat. There is no modern precedent for this kind of painful, public dumping on the Republican candidate by Republican stalwarts — the last time it happened was 1964, when moderate Republicans washed their hands of Barry Goldwater for being an “extremist” and a scary loon who would get us all nuked. He wouldn’t become a saint until Reagan was elected in 1980.
And it was Ronald Reagan who, while running for governor of California just two years after LBJ slaughtered Goldwater 61%-38%, created the “11th Commandment,” to keep Republicans from eating their own:
“Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.”
That’s dead now, too.
Well at least John McCain has Joe Lieberman.
Since when did Wonkette start posting so many stories on the weekend? Is this your way of saying “Let’s get nude cause the revolution is starting!!”?? — I’m already there bro.
GOP cannibalization is a disgustingly beautiful affair. Bon appetit!
I live in hope this gives a few of the remaining middle of the road (ie, “regular”) Repugs “permission” to vote for Hopey in swing states. The wingnuts are pretty much a lost cause, but then they are all batshit religious crazy anynohow.
facehead: We’re working every day through the Election, hooray for you, boo for us!
Well, McCain still has al-qaeda on his side. That should be some comfort.
facehead: It’s the election special. They’re afraid if they leave us to our own devices for two days, we’ll go crazy and ….oh, that’s right, we mostly are.
Everyone is in the tank, which is now a ocean coincidentally
Ken Layne: And then what? Into what void of contentless blogs must we escape after Judgement Day? Don’t tire yourselves out then stop writing on the 5th. You may have a revolt on your hands, as we all search for good snark - in vain - over at DailyKos.
Do Republicans taste good with a lemon pepper marinade?
Monkey: Al Qaeda and the Christ-tards.
BRB gotta form a band
I’m loving Wonkette Weekend Edition
The rats are deserting the stinking shit.
CivicHoliday: You mean as we all troll DailyKos.
I think this Ashley Todd thing was all a distraction organized by Todd Palin. That and his wife’s VP run. This way, no one will notice when Alaska secedes. Plus. Ashley Todd, Todd Palin? Coincidence? I think not.
facehead: Detox from Todd. Wonkette knows. Oh, it knows.
Monkey: That he does………
1964, coincidentally, was the last year Virginia voted Democratic.
This is all well and good but I am pissed at the ACLU for not demanding that Ashley the Plumper be allowed to Tweet from jail.
Ken Layne: Hooray for you. You give, we take. We appreciate that (NB — that’s not the royal “we”, it’s the multiple-personality disorder “we”).
tunamelt: They are best served stewed in their own juices.
I think you are being a bit too harsh on Bill Weld. I anything, if I had to cooexist with republicans on this planet (..oh wait, I do) I wish they were more like Weld. Pro Gay, he could of been ambassador to Mexico if Jesse Helms didn’t block him fort being excessivley liberal. Plus, wasn’t he in the movie Traffic?
Charles Fried being one of the last conservative intellectuals? Not so fast! You forgot Bill Kristol! Here, talking to MoDo, he talks about himself as a “conservative egghead”:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/15/opinion/15dowd.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Of course, any movement that needs to include the likes of Kristol as one of its leading thinkers has all kinds of problems. Maybe the Repubs’ main problem isn’t the lack of “intellectuals”, but rather the quality of them.
Not only are the Republicans coming out against McCain, McCain’s folks are throwing Palin under the bus.
OhYeahAlright: Hmmmmmm….
http://img171.imageshack.us/my.php?image=churchsigncj5.jpg
Ken Layne: There’s an election coming up?
Joey Ratz: Or how about this one:
http://atom.smasher.org/bar-b-q/?l1=republican+freakout&l2=roast+conservative&l3=with+a+side+of+&l4=steaming+truck+nutz
wheelie: The rats are dead. Plague has now moved on to the humans in the campaign. They’ve got…wait for it…McPLAGUE!
Fantasy: Nancy Reagan endorses Obama.
THAT WOULD BLOW UP THE SPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
V572625694: Shit, it doesn’t work as a link. Sorry…
I’ve been wondering lately about potential tabloid headlines on the day after the election. A couple that came to me thus far:
REPUBLICIDE!
RIGHT LEFT BEHIND (which would nicely rankle the rapture crowd)
Do feel free to pile on now that the last post of Friday is not followed immediately by the first post of Monday.
This elephant at the zoo told me he was voting for Hopey too. Africans stick together!
What is it they say about rats and sinking ships?
Thanks for throwing us some bones on the weekend.
Hannity needs to stop interviewing Palin, hes running out of clean underwear.
Ken Layne: I was wondering. I think I’ll kick back and do nothing but enjoy your proletariat misery. Write faster, peasants. [... said druk while wondering what it takes to get banned.]
William Miller was a conservative upstate New York Congressman when tapped by Barry Goldwater to be his running mate in 1964. This year Miller’s three daughters are all supporting Obama.
http://www.dmagazine.com/ME2/dirmod.asp?si…337A516C9E0F9F8
When’s McCain going to break out the Zell Miller endorsement?
Tucker Bounds making a ass of himself again and dodging questions.
Liverspots: Zell Miller/Aaron Burr 08!
http://thinkprogress.org/2008/10/24/bachmann-cultures-not-equal/
user-of-owls: How about:
JOHNNY GOES MARCHING HOME…AGAIN
Lately, I find myself saying “I like the news” a lot more. huh….
Small clarification: the GOP “11th Commandment” was actually formulated by California State Republican Chairmen Gaylord Parkinson during Reagan’s gubernatorial run, in response to party infighting during the primary.
First rule of godless socialism: Be accurate!
Monkey: McPain/Plaguein ‘08: Bring Out Your Dead!
lizardmess: Hey, that’s one Republican that’s still in McGrumpus’s camp.
As fun as an Obama victory would be, seeing Lieberman being kicked out of the Democratic party is going to be sweet, and will remain so for many, many years.
Worlds End: Speaking of things that are not equal - apparently it is OK for WALNUTS! to rimjob dictators without any preconditions, but if Barry wants to meet with them…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-dinges/mccain-meets-a-bloody-dic_b_137422.html
user-of-owls: ALL YOUR RACE ARE BELONG TO US
johnbpt: I thought the first rule was you don’t talk about godless socialism.
Joey Ratz: remember somehow its reverse psychology
These defections are a symptom of a larger issue. Republicans face a structural problem that has profound implications carrying well beyond election day.
Shoot. All of these Republican leaders endorsing Obama is giving second thoughts about my vote. No wonder Obama wanted me to vote early.
WagTehGod: Nice! Or from the other side:
ALL YOUR BASE ARE AMOUNT TO PUS
WIDTAP: Just call ACORN, they can set you up.
“Conservative intellectual” = Republican who can read.
Liverspots: Oooh Zell Miller…. Where will he go hiding once the putsch begins? And Joe Lieberputz too?
Perhaps McRage & Lieberputz will do the Odd Couple on the dinner theatre circuit?
Liverspots: What are John Haggee or Rod Parsley saying?
These people really don’t have any shame do they?
http://www.inrich.com/cva/ric/news.apx.-content-articles-RTD-2008-10-21-0105.html
Anyone listen to the other acorn calls? Its the second audio in the link.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/m.s.-bellows/anti-acorn-messages-threa_b_136222.html
DoctorCulturae: Doesn’t Rudi have a lock on show tune gigs?
Styrofoam Boots: maybe she was going to publicly withdraw her McCain support - maybe that’s how she “fell”…
Cheer up, McCain, things will be okay– you’ll always have Fred Barnes
McCain endorses Obama!
His quote:
“Fuck it! HENNNGGHH”
Barry ‘08
user-of-owls: Rudi will not be able to keep the show tune market locked up once the Repubs go through reconstruction. He better give Marvin Hammlisch a call. And I hear the Unreal McCoys remake is looking for a Walter Brennan type.
THE MAVERICK GOES ROGUE!
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/25/palin.tension/index.html
magic titty: McCain endorses Obama!
His quote:
“Fuck it! HENNNGGHH”
McCain’s local Community Outreach spokeswoman Ashley Todd later clarified the Senator’s remarks at a rally in Real Virginia, VA by saying, “The Senator’s full comment was ‘HENNNGGGHH That One from the nearest tree.’ We apologize for any misunderstanding.”
As long as W refrains from endorsing Obama then we are still cool, Republican Party. (Not cool like we are friends who eat lunch at the same table, but cool like you are the retarded kid with leg braces that I high five in the hall between classes. Clear?)
Also Christopher Buckley I think….and tho she hasn’t come right out and said it…Kathleen Parker too.
Didn’t Rosa Kleb endorse McCain this week?
tunamelt: A wine-based marinade will help cut that gamey flavor.
God, I already miss Ashley Todd. Whatever happened to her? R & R on one of Michelle Bachmann’s baby spas?
tunamelt: No. Fava beans and a nice Chianti. SSSSSSLURP!
facehead: Or do you mean rouge?
“A Palin associate, however, said the candidate is simply trying to “bust free” of what she believes was a damaging and mismanaged roll-out.”
Bust. Heh. I get’s it now. Maternal-lactating-power. Cool.
The Eleventh Commandment: “Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican.”
Orthodoxy’s cornerstone. Better to be wrong, than to dooubt. Also a motto of the Waffen SS.
BREAKING STORY! THIS JUST IN!!!!!
SisterTruth is actually . . . .BENAZIR BHUTTO!
And she’s still BRAIN dead!
tunamelt:
Unfortunately no, Lemon Pepper doesn’t cover up the taste of evil all that well. They need a pungent pesto, or chile sauce.
facehead: They’re obviously playing the oldest trick in the book; Good Cop, Bad Cop. And rednecks/racists/idiots/the remaining 5 Bush supporters/evangelicals are buying it.
U CN HAV YR BASE. WERE KILLIN YR DUDEZ.
I’ve started my list of places to ridicule, 2009.
Right now, I’m at:
1) Creationist Institutes
2) First place to pay Palin for a speaking appearance
3) Locus of the next news-makingly well-armed and/or child-polygamous religious compound
Odds that these are actually different places: 100-1 against.
The Onion said Obama has purchased ad space on McCain’s bull shit express bus.
Joey Ratz: 21st century conservative intellectual: When intellectual means you were home schooled in the New Testament and creationism by your mother/older half sister, then went on to receive a “degree” in drooling from Bob Jones. A young 21st century conservative intellectual may use his (not her) prestigious education to get started in the growing and highly competitive field of writing AOL chain letters.
Snark aside, I would love it if there were more true “intellectual conservatives” around. Watching the party fail this hard at thinking is just depressing.
“… [T]he last time it happened was 1964, when moderate Republicans washed their hands of Barry Goldwater …”
The analogy doesn’t work. Moderate Republicans are now as rare and as popular as New Coke. The apostate Repugs who favor Barry are the free market, Ayn Rand, dickhead conservs who fear that the monster they released in Reagan era, the Jesus Saves evangelicals, will dominate or split the party. To which I say: reap what you sow, and please bite me.
S.Luggo: Correct. Reagan sold the party out to the religious zealots. He and his ilk thought that they could control and use them to win elections, but in the end the inmates had taken over the asylum and they were on the outside looking in. Real conservatism is as dead as William F. Buckley, and much like him it cannot be resurrected. Opps.
The D:
4) Tucker Carlson: Clumsy neocon preppie dance fever
5) Tucker Bounds: Queer Guy for the Political Guy
Next week Reagan will rise from the dead and endorse Obama. Ron Reagen, Jr. already has, but he’s not a Republican. I wouldn’t be surprised if Nancy endorsed him. She hates McCain because when he ditched his first wife, the Reagans were the ones who had to get her back on her feet. I mean, Nancy absolutely LOATHES McCain.
I think the best McCain move would be to get George W. Bush to endorse Obama. That’s the only Republican endorsement of Obama that could actually help the McCain campaign. Bush is so dumb, it might actually be a sincere endorsement.
facehead: I would think that with the election this close, the Wonkette newsroom will be open from now to Nov. 4 bringing us the most up-to-the-minute news of GOP defections, defacements, crapola that will make them look bad, etc. Rest assured that Wonkette Tower will be lit up like a Christmas tree until the last vote is fixed, er, counted.
DangerousLiberal: I’m hoping Lieberman’s dismissal from the Democratic caucus will be a real “rank stripping” with the fire to burn his epaulets, the drums, Harry Reid reading aloud of the Bill of Particulars “…did then and there speak to the Republican National Convention; did then and there regularly appear in public with the nominee of the Republican Party…” and then each member of the caucus turning their backs on him as he is marched down the hall. Even if he joins the GOP, it’ll be worth every minute and can be shown in every CT Senate ad from now until his defeat.
The Repub big wigs are great, now if Obama could just get some Republican VOTERS to defect, he’d be in good shape.
facehead: Haha! Gsplblty..argh.
Party!!! Bythx,
SisterTruth: I thought of that myself. A Bush endorsement of Obama is maybe the only thing short of a terrorist attack which would possibly help McCain.
RE: Republicans trashing one another. Back around the time of Newtie’s Contract On America FAIR did a report on the Dimmest Bulbs in Congress, chosen by members of Congress. One interesting point they made was that Republicans were far more willing to name other Republicans as being dimwits than Democrats were willing to name other Democrats.
Just another random data point from this fount of useless knowledge.
OhYeahAlright: Too late. Chimpy and his lovely wife Alkie have already voted for McCain. Which is tantamount to throwing acid in McCain’s face, imo.
dano: Ditto.
But if the economic (i.e. unregulated free market) conservatives can unlink themselves from the evangelicals, what’s left for them?
1. The Southern (negroes able to vote is wrong) Strategy? Getting old.
2. Poor people are poor because they are lazy and evil. Not exactly a vote-getter in our new, middle-class hobo camps.
3. Regulation, bad, bad, bad. Regulation kills innovation (e.g. securities-backed by near valueless subprime mortgages) in the financial markets. Here, innovation means a license to fool, even Alan Greenspan has admitted that.
queeraselvis: Why would the fact that he’s already voted for McCain stop George W. Bush from endorsing Obama. This is George Bush we’re talking about!! Logical? Not so much.
facehead: I guess Wonkette had to start posting on the weekend when SNL decided that Saturday night by itself wasn’t enough for all of the laugh material coming out of this bizarre campaign season.
I am just waiting for McCain concession speech when Caribou Barbie takes the mic from him and declares herself the leader of the party proclaiming “old boys network in the Republican Party dead.”
S.Luggo: Yeah, you’re right. A lot of their old arguments don’t hold up anymore, if they ever did. At least Buckley could speak in complete sentences and make his case in a clear and concise why without screaming and threatening to turn his guests mic off ( I’m looking at you O’Reilly.) So what do they do now? Maybe scare whitey with the usual wedge issues?
1. Homos
2. Abortion
3. War on Christmas
4. Fear of class warfare ( class warfare is code for race war)
But none of this stuff is working this time and they are freaking the fuck out.
smellyal8r: “I’m hoping Lieberman’s dismissal from the Democratic caucus will be a real “rank stripping” with the fire to burn his epaulets”
Only if Barry wina and the Demrats get 60 votes in the Senate (excluding Lieberperson). If not, the defeatocrats will be stuck with pandering to Joe and his call for invaision Iranistan.\
If the Harry Reid pussy Senate Democrats need Joe to get to 60 and Joe balks, let the vote fail on the record. Don’t forget, don’t forgive, publicize.
smellyal8r: Haha, something nice and Gothic: “Let his name no longer be spoken in the company of men, for he is apostate and anathema” (inverts candalabra and smashes it into the floor). Alas, Harry Ried will find some way to fuck it up–do a head-plant or something.
Even Sarah Palin is deserting McCain
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/25/palin.tension/index.html
this has to be solved by one of those (college) senior level calculus II problems. Multiple choice of course. (For science majors — not biz majors, as that those other guys take softball view on how to minimize risk at the same time stoking profit for maximum gain this solution must come into being; prequel (copious) critical review in a peer journal(s). Requiring related rates in more than 2 dimensions will make the snow dogs grumpy and the makes the rarefied air-causing the nocturnal emission all the more lonely when your 84, taking viagra, and drinking warm milk and tequila for nighty-night time.
Mista Eko: Palin’s going back to Alaska and get on with seccession so she can be Empress of the North Pole.
tunamelt: I like mine with icing and chocolate sprinkles. It’s so festive!
If Adelman is supporting Obama, I might have to rethink my vote.
Is this all part of some creepy plot to set him up for a fail?
Neilist: FTW! You are just sooo funny!!!
smellyal8r: “and then each member of the caucus turning their backs on him as he is marched down the hall.”
Can they stone him first?
Repubs started bailing on WALNUTS! two months ago, once they realized Palin could not be contained. These are the very same people that forced him to accept her as a running mate via a txt from Karl Rove, Evil Genius:
U R MY BITCH TK PALIN OR DIE ON SEN FLR 4 EVAH. GIMME A NICKEL ON RED.
The conspiracy is just that simple, people. ROVE ALWAYS BETS ON BLACK.
dano: Too bad, too. I have some of the Buckley books of Latin quotes and idioms. The books are actually a very informative facet of the culture of Rome (although I do disgree with some of the interpretations, they are interesting for the political discourse). They actually supported the thought required for the functioning of a republic and all that. Too bad republicans hate books; might have made for some interesting debates if they read some stuff.
That said, FUCK ALL Y’ALL MACTARDS. Burn books in the hell of your own making. Feel free to come by a library when you want to get back in the game.
Holy shit, really? Scott McClellan. I didn’t hear that one. It won’t prevent me from carving a B in his tubby cheek if I ever meet him, though.
My Halloween costume this year is/was Abraham Lincoln wearing an Obama button.
lizardmess: (his first post)
Walnuts: At least I got you Droopy
Droopy: uh.. sir?
Walnuts: Yes, my heterosexual life partner?
Droopy: I’m in the tank..
Walnuts: what tank, my tank, you must be lonely in there. Even the Eskimo’s trying to get out.
Droopy: no, I’m in the tank for Obama..
Walnuts: *cryz*
Droopy: No cry albino
Walnuts: Iz not B ok
lizardmess: Kinda. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/25/lieberman-on-palin-thank_n_137769.html
wait what? i’m voting for jennifer aniston. aren’t you?
lieberman is unofficially in the tank
he must’ve been hiding his walnuts in one of his many folds
I used to be a Conservative Intellectual. But then I graduated from the Catholic grade school, hit puberty, etc., etc., discovered alcohol, Nitzsche, Hobbes, Bentham, alcohol, Vonnegut, sex, Proust, alcohol, Pynchon and so forth.
I’ve learned a lot since 8th grade, have had to modify my worldview a few times, toyed with a few “-isms” along the way. If I can change and learn, there’s hope for these conservatards yet. Just give them a hundred years or so…
Lascauxcaveman: they won’t evolve mind you
user-of-owls: I love Right Left Behind
If a Nascar driver endorses Barry, you’re looking at a landslide of unimaginable dimensions. I think if Barry took up smoking again he’d get the red states to jump on the wagon.
Hahah! I just read that the PUMAs are going to swing the election to McCain! The PUMAs! Bwahahaahaahahaah!
Man, I hope those guys have a supply of gardening gloves, because grasping at straws can really chafe your palms.
Susan Eisenhower, Granddaughter of Dwight, endorsed Obama some time ago.
My mom the Rush Limbaugh fan tells me she isn’t voting this year - a first for her. That’s about as close as you get to an endorsement for Barry O. as you’ll get from a woman who still thinks that Iraq was behind 9/11
keepinitrealyo: Well living in crazyland tends to make you delusional.
keepinitrealyo: [i]Hahah! I just read that the PUMAs are going to swing the election to McCain! The PUMAs![/i]
Warshawsky’s the douchiest douche who ever douched in the annals of douchery - but those “Uncle Sam Taking a Dump” t-shirts they sell are [i]awesome[/i]…
LuckyJim: [i]fuck[/i], fuck, fuck, douchebag…
Ha ha, when McCain wins the election, the purges are going to be so awesome.
I confess that I’m hoping that Nancy Reagan will doddle out and support Hopey for Prez!
At this point, the only thing more Obama could do to seal the deal is to give eleventy zillion Obama dollars to the McCain Victory Fund.
AntiMerican: The most “Independent” troll is making it more official that he’s moving from under his moist stone to the tank: http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2008_10/015376.php
They’re all just a-trying to avoid the massive head rolling that’s coming up in the new “American French Revolution.”
With all due respect to Obama’s broad appeal, the above consists of Colin Powell’s important endorsement and six votes (still, it’s all good). But the three things that Obama needs to win: turnout, turnout and turnout. That’s what will seal the deal.